A Secret Shared in the Dark
The narrow space felt completely packed the moment the wheelchair rolled inside. In the silent bathroom, the only sounds were Shine's breathing and my own. Shine closed the door and stared at me intently. I stayed perfectly still, seated in the wheelchair.
"Jeff. Aren't you going to pee?"
When my frozen posture seemed to frustrate her, Shine stepped closer and grabbed my arm. "No... I do need to go."
I felt heat rising across my face. After all the water and juice I'd drunk, my bladder was definitely full. But the thought of doing it right in front of Shine kept me paralyzed. We'd bathed together before, sure, but deliberately showing her the sight of me peeing felt unbearably embarrassing. There would be the smell, the noise—everything.
"I'll help you."
I couldn't hold it forever. After resisting a little longer, I reluctantly let Shine support me as I shifted onto the toilet.
"Aren't you going to take them off?"
I sat there without moving, so Shine asked again. Her eyes were brimming with eager anticipation.
I kept my head down, mumbling.
"Hurry up, Jeff. Take them off."
"Um... Shine? Could you step outside for a second?"
"Why?"
"It's... it's embarrassing."
"What's embarrassing?"
The way she asked so boldly, as if genuinely confused, left me completely flustered. My tongue felt small and useless in my mouth. There were so many things I wanted to say that none of them came out.
"Take them off already. Or are you going to wet your pants?"
Shine reached out, clearly fed up with my hesitation. Her small white hand moved straight for my waist. The motion was lightning fast. Her fingers slipped under my clothes and caught both my pants and underwear in one swift grip.
"W-wait! Shine!"
The instant I panicked and clutched at my pants, her hand yanked downward. The fabric slid halfway down, exposing my pale skin. I made a pitiful face and frantically pulled them back up.
"Why?"
To do what she wanted, I obviously needed to lower my pants. But there was a world of difference between doing it myself and letting Shine do it for me. At least, that's how it felt to me.
I took a shaky breath and told her, "I'll... I'll do it myself."
I carefully reached out and took hold of her hand. She studied my face for a moment, then nodded and withdrew. The spot on my waist where her small fingers had touched burned like fire.
"Okay. Hurry and take them off."
"Shine, please... just step out for a bit..."
"No."
"I'm begging you... please."
My desperate plea made Shine tilt her head slightly. After thinking in silence for a moment, she shook her head.
"Then I have a request too. Jeff. You promised to grant my wish in exchange for keeping secret that you stole Rain's hamburger, remember?"
"That was..."
"Show me, Jeff. Please."
"Show you... what exactly?"
"You peeing."
My vision went pure white. Shine's blunt request blanked out my mind completely. My breathing grew rapid. My face burned hotter than ever. My trembling hands stayed frozen on my pants, unable to move.
"You... you really want to see it?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Just because. I want to see it."
"It'll smell..."
"You don't smell, Jeff."
"Yes I do. It will."
The strength of Shine's desire overwhelmed me. In the end, I was the one who surrendered.
"You really, really want to see...?"
"Yes. I want to see it. I'm going to watch."
I rolled my eyes around desperately, but there was no escape. With a heavy sigh, I finally lowered my pants.
"Hurry."
"D-don't rush me. It won't come if you do..."
My shaking hands flew up to cover my face. I bowed my head deeply and let go. In the quiet bathroom, the sound of a small stream began to flow. Trickle, trickle. I squeezed my eyes shut at the sound reaching my ears. I couldn't bear to look at Shine's face. The flowing noise gradually faded. Drip. Drip. After the last few droplets, silence returned.
Shine and I stayed quiet for a long time. I couldn't bring myself to lower my hands. When only the sound of our soft breathing filled the air, Shine spoke first.
"Want me to help you wipe?"
"No!"
I shouted in rejection, my voice coming out like a high-pitched squeak. Flustered, I clapped a hand over my mouth. With my view no longer blocked, I could see Shine's face. She wore a deeply satisfied smile. She blinked at me.
"Really?"
"Yeah... I can do it myself."
Shine didn't look away. She only nodded after watching me finish every bit of the cleanup.
"Thank you, Jeff."
"For what..."
"For showing me how you pee."
"I didn't want to show you..."
"Want me to show you too?"
Her completely unexpected offer caught me off guard. As I opened and closed my mouth in shock, she laughed playfully and reached for me.
"I'll help you back into the wheelchair."
After fixing my underwear and pants properly, I let Shine assist me back into the chair. It had only been using the bathroom, but every muscle in my body felt drained. I was completely exhausted.
Shine, apparently delighted about something, hummed a little tune as she pushed the wheelchair out of the bathroom.
"Jeff. So you want to see it?"
"See... what?"
"Me peeing."
Her words, stripped of all context, immediately drew stares from people walking nearby. I waved my hands frantically and shook my head.
"No! No! Absolutely not!"
"Really? You didn't answer right away, so I thought you were thinking about it."
I had hesitated for a split second, but the answer was still no. I shook my head firmly.
"I don't want to see it..."
The wheelchair rolled slowly toward Amy. She sat on the bench in the same position as before and waved at us.
"Where did you two go?"
"To the bathroom with Jeff."
"The bathroom? Did Shine help you?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes. I helped Jeff out."
Amy beamed at Shine's answer and stroked her hair, praising her lavishly. Watching the scene, I could only hang my head.
"Can Shine help next time too?"
"Yes. I'll help again."
At the mention of "next time," I reached out and grabbed Amy's arm.
Once we rejoined Amy, we headed straight back to our room. She carried me in her arms and settled me onto the bed. Sitting there, I kept tapping my cast-covered leg. Because of this stupid thing, I'd had no choice but to show Shine something so humiliating. Thump, thump, thump. My small fist made soft sounds each time it struck the cast.
"Is it that uncomfortable?"
"Yes."
When Amy saw how bitterly I glared at the cast, she came over and asked gently. I nodded, and she reached out to stroke my hair.
"Just endure it a few more days. It'll come off soon."
I gave her a pitiful look.
That evening, after dinner, I was sitting on top of Baxi the bear doll when Shine brought over a cup of water.
"Thirsty?"
"No, I'm not."
I immediately understood what Shine was trying to do. She wanted me to drink a lot of water. The more I drank, the more often I'd need the bathroom. When Amy was around, I could ask for her help, but if she wasn't there like now, I'd be forced to rely on Shine. So I refused to drink. I shook my head and hid behind Baxi. The large bear doll blocked Shine's path, protecting me from that evil cup of water.
If it had been cola, I might have considered it... As that thought crossed my mind, Shine suddenly left the room.
The room was empty. Still hiding behind Baxi, I peeked out cautiously. Without Amy or Shine, the space felt incredibly lonely. Still, I was used to it. I hugged Baxi tight and closed my eyes.
Jeff. Jeff~
The faint voice was unmistakably Shine's. I blinked my heavy eyelids and sat up. I'd apparently dozed off while lying on the warm floor, hugging the soft bear.
"Shine?"
"Yes. It's me, Jeff."
She had already returned and was sitting right in front of me. I slowly sat up straight, matching her posture, and placed Baxi beside me.
"Where did you go?"
"I went to get this."
Shine answered and pulled out a black plastic bag she'd hidden behind her back. Inside the rustling bag, I caught a glimpse of a familiar plastic bottle.
"Th-that's—!"
"Yep. Cola."
Cola. Just hearing the word made my jaw drop. It had been days since Amy declared she'd only give us healthy food and banned cola entirely. It hadn't even been a full month, yet it felt like over a year. I could barely remember the taste of carbonation anymore, so clearly a lot of time had passed.
"Drink it."
"R-really?"
"Yes."
Shine handed it over without hesitation. I took the large bottle and hugged it like a treasure.
"Where did you get this? Amy confiscated all the credit cards."
"Someone gave it to me."
"Gave it to you? This?"
"Yes."
"That person must be incredibly kind."
"Yes. A very kind person."
The bottle was pleasantly cold against my hands.
"Don't you need cups?"
"Yes! Yes!"
Shine already knew what I needed without being told. While she jumped up to fetch the cups, I twisted open the lid and breathed in that distinctive cola scent. The little hiss of carbonation was music to my ears. The sweet aroma made my mouth water instantly.
"Here."
Shine brought two large cups decorated with rabbit designs and handed them to me. I nodded and poured the cola evenly between them. It was too much for me to drink alone, so we'd have to share. This was a race against time. We had to finish every drop before Amy returned and erase all evidence.
Once. Twice. After emptying her first cup, Shine didn't drink any more.
"Jeff, finish the rest."
"Really? You're sure it's okay for me to drink it all?"
"Yes."
"Thank you!"
I gave her a quick hug, then began gulping down the remaining cola. The cool, tingling sensation sliding down my throat made me laugh with pure joy.