The Lewd Sword (3)
After the carriage started moving again and some time had passed, Wi Ilcheong finally couldn't hold it in any longer and opened his mouth.
"Um... Miss Dokgo."
"What."
"...Do you plan on keeping that up the whole way?"
"Yeah, so?"
"But... well..."
Wi Ilcheong looked at No Geukmyeong with a thoroughly troubled expression.
"Using a person as a footrest is a bit..."
No Geukmyeong was sprawled face-down on the floor of the carriage, and Dokgo Ryeong had her feet planted squarely on top of him as they rode.
It was an uncomfortable sight, which was why Wi Ilcheong had spoken up—but that only made things worse for No Geukmyeong.
Dokgo Ryeong lifted her foot and slammed it back down onto his back.
"Guhk!"
"Hey, No Geukmyeong."
"..."
"You little shit, even if you talk I won't rip your nails out, so answer me."
"Y-Yes, Miss!"
"Uncomfortable?"
"Not at all! Extremely comfortable!"
"Oh? Comfortable, are you?"
"Ah... th-that's not what I meant! I meant that receiving this punishment is far more comfortable than the debt of guilt I owe the Divine Doctor for what I did to him! It's not comfortable in the slightest!"
As No Geukmyeong hurriedly poured out excuses, Dokgo Ryeong jerked her chin up at Wi Ilcheong.
"You hear that?"
"...Anyone would answer like that in that situation."
"Want me to ask him one more time?"
"...I apologize. I'll say no more."
"Fucking hell. No Geukmyeong, count yourself lucky today. If Unyeong weren't here, I'd just..."
"D-Divine Doctor, sir! Thank you!!"
"..."
Unyeong awkwardly bowed his head and accepted the thanks.
Just then the carriage came to a halt and the window to the driver's seat slid open.
"Um... hey there~. There are some guys blocking the road up ahead?"
"Huh? Who?"
"...They're looking for No Geukmyeong..."
"Hm?"
Hearing that, No Geukmyeong tried to raise his head—only for Dokgo Ryeong's foot to move again.
"You bastard, explain."
"Th-There are martial artists from the Moyong Clan who came with me."
"...So you didn't come alone?"
"But I came to escort the Divine Doctor... Guhk!"
Dokgo Ryeong kicked him hard in the side.
"These days when you come to escort someone, you wear night-raid clothes and draw swords on them?"
"I-It was a lie! I'm sorry!"
"Fucking hell. Speak properly if you don't want to die."
"Y-Yes, Miss!"
"Send every last one of those bastards packing. Otherwise I'll make sure their arms and legs all go their separate ways."
"Y-Yes!"
When Dokgo Ryeong finally moved her leg aside, No Geukmyeong scrambled up and climbed out of the carriage.
Once he was gone, Unyeong spoke.
"...Listen here, Mad Demon."
"Physician's daughter."
"...Physician's daughter."
"Speak."
"Even so, this is a bit much..."
"Hey, you bastard—would you forgive the shithead who put a blade to your throat?"
"It isn't about forgiveness. He was desperate enough to draw a sword, wasn't he?"
"Haa... This is so fucking frustrating I could die."
Dokgo Ryeong stared straight at Unyeong as she spoke.
"How many times have I told you? Keep living like that and you'll die young."
"That's something to worry about when the time comes."
"...Hey. Do you even know what kind of bastard Moyong Byeok is?"
"Not really. I only know he's the Mad Demon's enemy."
"That son of a bitch treats anyone he considers beneath him as less than a bug."
"Is that so?"
"And so he kills people as lightly as swatting a bug. That's Moyong Byeok."
"I see."
"Wouldn't it be better to just leave a bastard like that to die? If you go looking after him, you'll only end up with more patients to treat."
"..."
Even under Dokgo Ryeong's persuasion, Unyeong's expression did not change.
"...How many times must I say it? Even a man like that still has room for reform."
"Haa... Fuck. If he was going to reform, he would've done it ages ago."
"He simply hasn't met me yet."
"Ah, you little shit—! Do you need your remaining eye gouged out before you come to your senses?!"
Driven by sheer frustration, Dokgo Ryeong half-rose from her seat.
"You bastard... Please! Keep this up and one day you'll really die! Then what about your daughter?"
"...I'm not dead yet, am I?"
"Fucking hell, for real..."
"If Moyong Byeok truly is such a monster that he kills me, then so be it. But living this way has at least given me a friend who will avenge me if I fall."
"..."
Hearing Unyeong's words, Dokgo Ryeong realized further persuasion was useless and ground her teeth.
"Fucking bastard..."
"Euhahat! Every time you run out of things to say, you just end it with swearing."
"Whatever, you son of a bitch. Die or don't, I don't give a fuck..."
No sooner had Dokgo Ryeong finished speaking than No Geukmyeong climbed back inside.
"Um... Miss."
"What, you bastard."
"I sent the others all back. However... it seems our boys made a bit of a mistake."
"Now what?"
"...Apparently they joined hands with some Green Forest bandits nearby?"
"Pfft."
Dokgo Ryeong could not hold back the laugh that burst out of her.
"Green~ Forest~ bandits~? What 'bandits,' you bastard. A bunch of mountain bandit trash calling themselves..."
"...I'm sorry. If they come looking, I'll handle them and talk them down myself..."
"Fine. Get your ass back on board already, you bastard. Should the whole carriage stop just for you?"
"Y-Yes!"
No Geukmyeong scrambled back into the carriage.
"...Sitting?"
"Ah... I'm sorry."
After briefly sitting on a seat, No Geukmyeong dropped back down onto the floor.
Dokgo Ryeong casually propped her legs on top of him again and rapped on the driver's partition.
"Hey, Hao Sect! Move out!"
"Yes~."
"..."
Watching the scene, the rest of the party could only let out hollow laughs, yet none of them dared say a word.
They all knew perfectly well just how much further that foul-tempered Dokgo Ryeong might rampage.
Ah, fuck. It keeps hurting...
The steady ache in her lower abdomen was endlessly irritating.
Whenever the pain grew sharp enough to make her snap, she took it out by occasionally kicking No Geukmyeong, but even that did nothing to ease the throbbing.
"...Unyeong."
"Yes."
"...You, uh... got any medicine?"
"Ah, period medicine?"
"You bastard, watch your mouth."
"I don't have any on hand right now... Hmm... Shall I put a few needles in you?"
"Ugh... I don't want that..."
"You're not a child—afraid of needles?"
"You only ever use the fucking huge ones."
"Yes. That way the next time you get hurt, fear alone will keep you from coming back."
"You piece of trash."
"Want me to put just one in?"
"...Get lost. Fuck, it'll get better soon enough..."
"Euhahat, so even the great Dokgo... Ryeong can't handle a little pain."
"You're dead, for real."
"...I'll shut up."
While they were bantering, the carriage came to another stop.
Eun Gwanyeong opened the driver's window and looked back.
"Um... hey there~..."
"What now?"
"...Some bandits have shown up?"
"..."
Dokgo Ryeong gave No Geukmyeong a couple of sharp kicks in the ribs.
"Go deal with it."
"Yes, Miss!"
Just as before, No Geukmyeong climbed down from the carriage.
"...Ryeong Mae, is it really all right to work him like that?"
"It's fine, it's fine. Fuck, what's he gonna do if he doesn't like it?"
"..."
Baekri Sohyeon could not find any words that might persuade Dokgo Ryeong.
"...Miss Dokgo. Even so, he is the son of a distinguished house..."
"And those distinguished parents treated other people's children like dirt."
"...I apologize. I have nothing more to say."
"Then sit still for a bit. You're pissing me off."
"...Yes."
Wi Ilcheong closed his mouth and sent a sound transmission to Baekri Sohyeon.
...Miss Dokgo seems to be in an especially foul mood today?
She's on her period. Bear with it a little, Brother Wi.
Even accounting for that, she's being a bit more of a pain in the ass than usual...
Just then a roar like a thunderclap rolled in from outside.
"Where is the child of Dokgo Jin!!!!"
At that shout, every member of the party naturally turned to look at Dokgo Ryeong.
And the moment they saw her face, a chill ran down their spines.
"M-Miss Dokgo. Why don't we just quietly..."
"Ryeong Mae, please don't go wild..."
"Mad Demon! Please, just this once..."
But their pleas fell on deaf ears. Dokgo Ryeong kicked the carriage door open and strode outside.
"Which bastard is out here barking my name!!"
"...Brother Wi, help."
"...I'll do my best."
Wi Ilcheong followed Dokgo Ryeong down from the carriage. Outside lay No Geukmyeong face-down on the ground, a bandit chief gripping a massive axe, and a crowd of Green Forest bandits.
The man who appeared to be their leader took a step forward.
"So you're the brat of Dokgo Jin?"
"Yeah. And who the fuck are you, spitting out other people's names like that?"
"Do you know the Blood Fiend?"
"Blood Fiend?"
The somehow familiar moniker made Dokgo Ryeong tilt her head. From behind her, Wi Ilcheong spoke.
"Could that be the one? The Green Forest bandit who once kidnapped you, Miss?"
"Ah... that guy with the ridiculously tiny dick..."
"Miss. Please choose your words a little more carefully."
"What, fuck. It's the truth."
Dokgo Ryeong spoke as if it were nothing, but the bandit chief standing right in front of her—who had heard every word—turned a shade of red that looked ready to burst.
Veins bulged grotesquely all over his body as he roared.
"So you killed one of the Ten Heroes of the Green Forest... my own little brother?!"
"...Huh? That bastard was actually one of the Green Forest Ten Heroes?"
"Yes!! I'm asking if you were the one who killed him!!!"
"Yeah, I killed him. You bastard, what are you gonna do about it?"
The axe-wielding man charged forward with a howl.
"I'll take blood for blood!! Uwaaaaah!!"
Watching the heavy axe come crashing down toward her skull, Dokgo Ryeong drew the Meteor Saber hanging at her waist.
Perfect chance to test the weapon.
She slipped past the descending arc of the axe, drew up her inner energy, and swung the saber.
Clang!
A short, sharp ring of steel on steel rang out.
After that single exchange, their reactions split cleanly.
"Th-This can't be..."
"It's a fine blade, all right."
Dokgo Ryeong's saber had cleanly sheared through his axe.
While the bandit chief stood dazed, staring blankly at the ruined weapon, Dokgo Ryeong spoke.
"You bastard, what was that... that guy's name again, Lust Demon?"
"Jo Chang, I believe."
"Right, Jo Chang. So what the fuck are you to that bastard? If you're family I'll go easy; if you're just sworn brothers I'll take your head."
The bandit grasped reality in an instant and slammed his forehead into the dirt.
"F-Family!"
"You bastard, what's your name?"
"Jo... Jo Gang!"
"You one of the Green Forest Ten Heroes too?"
"Y-Yes."
"Fucking Green Forest bandits are all dead. This is the kind of bastard who ranks among the ten strongest in the Green Forest?"
"...Miss Dokgo, aside from the Green Forest King himself, the rest of them are all more or less the same."
"Even so, the level's just too low. Couldn't even last a single exchange."
Dokgo Ryeong walked up to Jo Gang and gave his head a couple of light taps as she spoke.
"From where I'm standing, you're not cut out for banditry. Right?"
"Y-Yes, that's right!"
"Go live an honest life, you bastard. Become a fire-field farmer or something. Looking at that build, you've got plenty of stamina."
"J-Just spare my life and I'll live honestly!"
"Sure, I'll spare you. I'll spare you..."
Dokgo Ryeong's foot slammed into his side.
"All right!!"
"Guhk!"
"You bastard, you piss someone off and then think one bow of the head makes it all better?!"
"M-Miss!"
Wi Ilcheong hurriedly seized Dokgo Ryeong from behind.
"Ah, fuck! Let go of me! How dare that bastard throw around someone else's name however he wants?!!"
"M-Miss! Please calm down just a little!"
"Fuck, just—! Let go! Unyeong's right there anyway, so I'll only beat him to the brink of death! Okay?!"
"Miss... please...!"
Just as Dokgo Ryeong was about to break free of Wi Ilcheong's grip—
"Kyaaaah! Not a single bastard walks out of here today—!"
"M-Miss!"
In his haste, Wi Ilcheong accidentally grabbed her chest from behind.
And then—
"Hyeuk?!"
"M-Miss, just calm down a little..."
"Y-You crazy bastard! Where do you think you're touching!"
Dokgo Ryeong swung her arm violently and shoved Wi Ilcheong away.
"M-Miss. It wasn't intentional!"
"Aaaah... No! Hey, you bastard!"
"..."
In an instant Dokgo Ryeong's gaze locked onto Wi Ilcheong instead of the Green Forest bandits.
The fierce aura from moments ago vanished completely, leaving only a flustered, mortified Dokgo Ryeong.
"I-It was only because you were thrashing about so violently, Miss. I had no other intention..."
"Ugh... You filthy bastard! You Lust Demon!!"
"..."
Dokgo Ryeong's face flushed crimson, her hair turning a soft pink as she shrieked at the top of her lungs.
Yet there was not a shred of killing intent in her.
Only then did Wi Ilcheong arrive at a revelation.
He finally understood how to stop Dokgo Ryeong in her tracks.
"Miss Dokgo."
"W-What?!"
"From now on, every time you go wild, I will restrain you in this manner."
"Hyeuk?!"
"Next time I will grab your backside."
"Y-You crazy bastard—are you out of your mind?!"
"Whenever you throw a tantrum, I will simply assume it means you actually desire my touch."
"Y-You you you...!"
"So please refrain from any further rampages."
"You lunatic!!"
Dokgo Ryeong recoiled in horror and swung a kick, but Wi Ilcheong slipped past her foot and once again took position behind her.
And then—
"Hyaaang!"
He firmly grabbed her backside.
"S-Stop touching me, you crazy bastard!"
"Did I not already tell you? If you rampage again this time..."
"I-I got it! Stop it, you Lust Demon bastard!!"
Dokgo Ryeong's face was scarlet, her hair a soft pink as she pleaded.
"...You won't rampage any further?"
"..."
"Then kindly return to the carriage and sit quietly."
"Fuck..."
Face still burning, one hand protectively covering her backside in case Wi Ilcheong reached for it again, Dokgo Ryeong trudged back toward the carriage.
Looking down at the hand that had just gripped Dokgo Ryeong's rear, Wi Ilcheong clenched it into a tight fist.
At last... I've found a way to keep Miss Dokgo under control.
It was the moment a long-standing headache of his was finally solved.