Just Spread Them Once? - (2)
If one were to ask who the most eccentric figure in the martial world might be, a handful of names would tumble from people’s lips.
The Blade Immortal Paeng Yudeok, who greets every soul he meets with “Do you know the saber?”
The Mad Demon Dokgo Jin, who tears entire districts apart whenever his madness flares yet never lays a finger on untrained civilians.
The Lust Demon Wi Ilcheong, whose trail of romantic scandals never runs dry no matter where he goes.
The Divine Doctor Unyeong, who heals anyone who comes to him—villain or saint, it makes no difference.
And so on. The list goes on.
But if one were asked to name the weakest among them, every single person would point to the Divine Doctor Unyeong without hesitation.
And why wouldn’t they? Unyeong had never learned a scrap of martial arts in his life.
Having finished his examination, Unyeong looked up as Eun Yakbyeok asked from beside him,
“…How is she?”
“Nothing much. Not a single abnormality in the body. More importantly… Eu-ha-hat! Is this really the Mad Demon?”
“I fucking told you it is…”
“No, seriously—heh. Even seeing it with my own eyes I can’t believe it. That Dokgo Jin turned into such a cute little girl—koff! Ow, that hurts, that hurts…”
“You wanna die for real?”
“No, but you never used to hit me before. Why start now?”
“You little shit, I’m weak as hell right now so I can hit you a little, can’t I?”
“Eu-ha-hat! The great Dokgo Jin admitting with his own mouth that he’s weak—ah! Aagh! It hurts, please stop!”
“Just! Shut! Up!”
“Keep this up and I’ll go tattling to the Sword God, old man?”
“You fucking bastard… I’ll deep-fry you in shit-water… one-eyed dumbass…”
As Dokgo Ryeong pushed herself upright, Unyeong grinned at her.
“Still scared of the Sword God, I see?”
“You want another one?”
“If you’re only hitting me without internal energy, it just feels like my own daughter throwing a tantrum—cute, even—ack! I’m sorry, I’ll stop fooling around.”
“Damn it…”
“Haa… Guest. The Divine Doctor carried you on his back all night, so could you treat him a little more kindly?”
“That’s right! Do you have any idea how terrifying that was… the scenery whipping past so fast I thought I was going to die!”
“….”
Dokgo Ryeong grumbled under her breath.
“Soft-hearted bastard, every damn time.”
“Eu-ha-hat, even your curses have lost some of their venom.”
“Don’t laugh so damn cheerfully, you little shit.”
“I’m just happy.”
Unyeong gazed at Dokgo Ryeong with warm eyes.
“You’re not going to fight anymore, right?”
“….”
“…No?”
The warmth in Unyeong’s eyes vanished in an instant, and cold sweat beaded on Dokgo Ryeong’s forehead.
Ah, fuck. I’m screwed…
Sure enough, the lecture poured out.
“Damn it all! This is exactly why martial artists are all the same! What’s so great about that endless brawling that you come back injured day after day!”
“Ah… no, look… Unyeong. Just listen to me a second…”
“Honestly! Why even call me if this is how it’s going to be?! I fix you up and you’ll just get hurt again!”
“I… it’s not like I fight because I enjoy it. The kids just cling to me and…”
“Who’s clinging to you?! Just ask me and I’ll bow my head to the Sword God myself! The old man would stop the fight for you, so why insist on fighting!”
“Why do you keep bringing up that old geezer…”
“This won’t do. While we’re at it, I’ll just break your legs so you can’t move.”
“You crazy bastard! You’re a doctor, you little shit!!”
“Ah, right. Almost forgot. Let’s try something else then.”
Unyeong pulled a thick acupuncture needle from the medicine pouch he had brought.
The moment Dokgo Ryeong saw it, her whole body began to tremble like an aspen leaf.
“You… you fucker…! I told you I hate that shit!”
“Then don’t come to me if you hate it so much.”
“Fuck no! Why do you even need needles! Hey! Hao Sect Leader! Stop that bastard!!”
Dokgo Ryeong clung to Eun Yakbyeok, but the woman instead used telekinesis to pin her down.
“Divine Doctor, please stick one wherever you like.”
“Heh-heh, I’ll carefully consider which spot will hurt the most while still being good for you.”
“Aagh! Hey! I fucking hate that for real!!”
“Heh-heh, the more it hurts, the better it is for the body, you know?”
“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!!!”
“Just accept it quietly, Mad… no, young lady.”
“Fuuuuuuck!!!!”
Dokgo Ryeong’s scream rang through the brothel.
Dokgo Jin and Unyeong’s first meeting had been pure chance.
On a day when rain poured as if the sky itself had been torn open, Unyeong ducked into a dilapidated shrine for shelter and found the wounded Dokgo Jin inside.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Ah, a guest already. Your breathing is rough—are you injured?”
“Get lost. Don’t come near me.”
Dokgo Jin snarled, but Unyeong paid it no mind and stepped closer.
“I’m a physician. If you’ll show me the wound…”
“I said get lost!”
Dokgo Jin swung his blade; a thin red line opened across Unyeong’s forehead.
Yet even under that violent rejection, Unyeong did not retreat.
“I am a physician. My work is healing people.”
“Next time I’ll take your head.”
“Then take it. Anyone who could have cut me down would have done so long ago.”
“…You think I’m joking?”
Dokgo Jin pressed the edge of his blade to the man’s throat.
Just then thunder crashed outside, and Unyeong’s face was lit for an instant.
A hideous scar occupied the place where his left eye should have been.
“Your… eye…”
“Ah, yes. I lost one eye once before, doing something just this reckless.”
“The One-Eyed Divine Doctor…”
“You know the name—how fortunate. I’m not fond of the moniker myself. A bit too grim for a physician, eu-ha-hat.”
“….”
“Will you show me the wound?”
In the end Dokgo Jin gave up and entrusted himself to the man’s care.
Unyeong used a fire-starter to kindle a flame inside the old shrine and began examining the injury.
“…You’ve been poisoned. I’ll have to cut a little of the flesh away.”
“Fine…”
“You seem to be the ‘Mad Demon’ who’s been the talk of Chang’an lately. Am I right?”
“…You can tell just from the wound?”
“Of course. Only the Tang Clan uses poison like this. Careful now—don’t move.”
Unyeong was a talkative man.
Throughout the entire treatment he chattered about every trivial thing under the sun until Dokgo Jin felt blood might start dripping from his ears.
“So, you see, my daughter was born recently. Isn’t it amazing? That tiny little thing wriggling about—I couldn’t take my eyes off her…”
“Drop the happy stories and tell me something depressing. How’d you lose the eye?”
It was a barbed question meant to shut the man up, but it failed completely.
“Eu-ha-hat, nothing special. Just like today—I met a wounded martial artist, reached out without thinking to treat him, and lost the eye.”
“…You’re a madman.”
“Me? Or the one who took the eye?”
“Both.”
“Eu-ha-hak, true enough.”
Unyeong laughed until he choked; Dokgo Jin decided the man was indeed insane.
As he began wrapping the bandage, Unyeong continued.
“Well… I don’t regret it. I simply can’t help myself whenever I see someone hurt.”
“You’ll die young.”
“People say that often. But from where I sit, the patient looks far more short-lived.”
Having finished the bandage, Unyeong looked straight at Dokgo Jin.
“Some martial artists claim they’re immune to all poisons, but I don’t believe a word of it. Poison remains in the body and destroys it from within. That’s why everyone fears the Tang Clan.”
“I’m grateful for the treatment, but spare me the meddling. More importantly—who dug out your eye?”
“Pardon?”
“I have to repay the treatment somehow. I’ll dig out the eyes of whoever took yours.”
“Keh-keh-keh… no need. That man is already dead.”
“…You killed him?”
“Me? Heavens no. How could I possibly kill the Cult Leader of the Demonic Cult?”
“…What?”
Dokgo Jin momentarily doubted his own ears.
“The one who took your eye… was the Demonic Cult Leader?”
“Ah, yes. The former Cult Leader, now.”
“That’s a hell of a tall tale.”
“Eu-ha-hat, I figured you’d say that, so I always keep a lifeline ready.”
Unyeong drew something from his robes.
An old, worn sheet of paper.
“Read it, if you would.”
“….”
Dokgo Jin took the paper and, by the light of the torch, read the characters written upon it.
This man is one named “Unyeong” who resides in Jiangsu Province, and is a benefactor of the Wulin Alliance Leader Namgung Woncheong. To those who care well for this man, I shall personally express my gratitude; yet should this man come to harm, I swear upon my name to exterminate his entire clan.
“This is… the Sword God…”
“Eu-ha-hat, I’ve heard they’ve started calling him that lately.”
“….”
Dokgo Jin looked at Unyeong with fresh eyes.
“Wait… you treated both the Demonic Cult Leader and the Wulin Alliance Leader?”
“Yes. That’s the kind of man I am.”
“…You’re a madman.”
“Eu-ha-hat, didn’t I tell you? I hear that a lot.”
Unyeong picked up a scrap of wooden board and scribbled something on it.
“Show this at any nearby apothecary and they’ll give you what you need. Apply it to the wound often. I’d like to tell you not to fight, but… well… you’ll end up fighting again, won’t you?”
“…Probably.”
“Haa… nothing to be done, then. If you’re badly hurt, come find me in Jiangsu. If you truly can’t make the journey, send a carrier pigeon. I’ll come to you.”
“You’re fine with that?”
“Eu-ha-hat, what choice do I have? They say even brushing sleeves is fate—meeting like this today must be fate as well.”
“…I have no money.”
“I don’t need money.”
“…?”
Dokgo Jin tilted his head, uncomprehending.
“Then what do you need?”
“Hmm… every now and then, if you happen to pick up an inner core from some spirit beast, bring it along. I’ve got plenty of money, eu-ha-hat.”
“…You’re a truly strange bastard.”
“Well, so what?”
Unyeong gathered his belongings and rose.
“The rain’s eased a bit. I’ll be going. Another patient waiting.”
“…There are bandits around here…”
“We’re all acquainted—it’s fine. You, patient, should stay one more day.”
“….”
Dokgo Jin nodded silently. Unyeong laughed loudly and bowed.
“Eu-ha-hat, then let’s never meet again! Don’t get hurt, and live a long life.”
“Take care on the road.”
“Yes, then.”
And so Dokgo Jin and Unyeong met.
No one could have known how that chance encounter would continue to unfold.
Recalling the past over tea, Unyeong gave a self-deprecating laugh.
“And that Mad Demon… haa… I really shouldn’t have kept taking him in after that. Eu-ha-hat.”
“…Fuck, you were the one who said you’d take spirit cores.”
“I never expected you’d come that often. Or that you’d start stealing them.”
“….”
After that day, whenever Dokgo Jin suffered a serious injury or obtained a decent spirit core or elixir, he would travel to Jiangsu and deliver it to Unyeong.
At first Unyeong would cry, “Come whenever you’re hurt! I’ll treat you!” Later it became, “Damn it, why keep coming when you’ll just get hurt again the moment I fix you!”—and the scolding would begin.
Remembering every wound Dokgo Jin had ever brought him, Unyeong now looked at Dokgo Ryeong with pure exasperation.
“…So you’re saying you’ll keep fighting from now on too?”
“No… it’s not that I want to fight…”
“Shall I have that kill order erased for you? One request to the Sword God old man and…”
“Oh…?”
Dokgo Ryeong’s ears perked up, but Eun Yakbyeok shook her head.
“He probably won’t listen. Don’t you remember how fiercely he opposed his son becoming Alliance Leader? He raised hell saying he wanted no hereditary system.”
“…True. He does hate anything unfair.”
“More importantly, Divine Doctor—how does Dokgo young lady’s body look to you?”
“I have no idea!”
Unyeong denied it cleanly.
“I… have no talent for martial studies. Moon Shadow Divine Art, was it?”
“Yes.”
“That’s probably something only the Hao Sect Leader can diagnose properly. The moment a man turned into a woman, it left my knowledge far behind.”
“You’ve seen bodies after Bone and Body Reconstitution several times.”
“But their gender never changed. Even the current Alliance Leader, Hero Namgung Jin—when he underwent reconstitution, it was more like the quality of his muscles improved, and he grew a little younger. But this…”
Unyeong snickered as he looked at Dokgo Ryeong.
“…What, you little shit?”
“I truly don’t know. Becoming a woman just because there’s a lot of yin energy… I never even imagined it.”
“And the inner core?”
“Same with the core. Prescribing a yin core to someone strong in yang energy is for balance. That person will still have stronger yang. I’ve never seen yin and yang reverse.”
“….”
Even the Divine Doctor could offer no answer, and Eun Yakbyeok sank into thought.
Then Unyeong looked at Dokgo Ryeong and said,
“Mad Demon.”
“What?”
“Why don’t you just spread them once?”