Remember the End. (6)
"Haa..."
Finally, I could breathe again.
The moment I arrived at the hospital, I drank deep of the thick despair hanging in the air, taking slow, steady breaths until I settled.
Of course it wouldn't fill my stomach or anything, but it was more than enough to rinse the foul aftertaste of Emerald's hope that had so thoroughly ruined my palate.
"Please head to your room. That is... Akari."
"That's the first time you've called me by name."
I said it in a tone that might have been sarcastic or completely neutral. Emerald's face stiffened a little.
What, was she just thinking about blasting me with a magic beam or something?
"By the way, after all the trouble you went through dressing me, it must be a shame I have to change into a hospital gown."
But once my mouth started running, it was hard to stop myself.
If she hadn't force-fed me all that hope, I wouldn't be talking like this.
With a snort I turned and started walking toward the hospital room.
So I guess we're done with each other for a while, then.
"Wait a moment."
What now...
A voice caught me. I let out an internal sigh and turned my head to find Emerald staring at me with a resolute expression.
"If you need anything, please tell me anytime."
"...Sure, whatever."
As if you'd just hand over your despair if I asked for it.
Grumbling under my breath, I kept walking, and before long a nurse approached me.
"I'll show you to your room, patient."
"Yes, thank you."
Perhaps because of the recent monster attack, there were quite a few injured humans. Some of them were teetering between life and death, and the despair they radiated gave me a thrill not unlike crushing ants as a child.
Just looking at them was a feast for the eyes.
No matter how I look at it, living a normal life is completely out of the question for me.
I'd been far from normal ever since I first opened my eyes in Apocalypse's body, but the fact that I felt no pity or pain looking at scenes like this told me my sense of ethics had gotten seriously twisted.
Back in my school days I'd been a model citizen who scored top marks in Life and Ethics class.
Well, I wasn't going to take the college entrance exam again, so it hardly mattered now.
"Will I be alone in the room?"
That would be a little boring.
Human despair was better the closer you got to it, after all. Yeah.
"No. Your friend will be there with you."
"...Friend?"
Do I have friends?
Or maybe that guy... wait, had he been captured?
I blinked blankly, recalling the monster who had vanished after becoming the Doctor's shadow submarine.
As I thought, this hospital seems like the kind of place that captures monsters for research.
That doctor hadn't seemed entirely sane either.
"Um, the name is... Tamako, it says."
...Never heard that name before.
Who the hell is that?
"Midori-nim had her admitted together with you..."
Ah. I get it. That magical girl with the rainbow-colored eyes.
The despair energy she'd been giving off had looked absolutely delicious. If I ever got the chance, I definitely wanted to try eating it.
Wait a second—isn't right now the perfect opportunity?
If I play this right, maybe I can suck some despair energy out of her...
I thanked the nurse who had escorted me and carefully stepped into the hospital room.
Still, using a room this big for just two people... well.
"Ugh..."
"Oh."
I'd walked in at just the right moment.
A soft moan escaped the lips of the magical girl—Tamako—who had been lying there as if dead.
Was it from pain, or was she having a nightmare?
"N-no... I don't want to..."
"I'm fine with it, so please do more."
She was drenched in cold sweat, muttering something, and the more she muttered, the more negative emotions piled up.
Yes, that's it. Just a little more. A little more!
Vmmm—
"Haaah..."
And at last, when Tamako's emotions reached their peak, the despair circuit inside my body began to stir, little by little.
It felt like starting up a brand-new machine for the first time.
As the despair circuit began to turn with a creaking sound, my mind felt as if it were growing clearer and clearer.
"So gooood... nngh."
I curled up, letting out an undignified sound from my mouth.
Th-this is a magical girl's despair?
Compared to what I'd eaten at the shelter, that had been nothing more than a sample. Thick, sticky despair clung to my entire body.
Just a little, just a little more...
I indulged, and indulged, and indulged again.
I leaned in until I was close enough that I could have literally eaten Tamako's face, and slowly drew in a breath.
Ugh, it's too addictive.
How delicious would an extract made by wringing out this despair be?
Thump, thump, thump—
"..."
Startled by my violently pounding heart, I lifted my head.
It finally seemed to have returned to something closer to a normal person's heartbeat.
But there was one problem—
Vmmm—
I only ate a little, and I'm already like this.
Something floating above my head. More precisely, a halo.
A ring that bathed the dark hospital room in a soft red glow was spinning eagerly, as if urging me to fill myself with even more despair.
Come to think of it, something had felt missing.
For Apocalypse, the twin tails and the halo above her head were her identity, after all.
"Haa... Calm down, calm down..."
I slowly exhaled and gathered the despair that had filled my despair circuit.
If I stayed like this, I really might get blasted with a magic beam. Yeah.
Vmm...
...Spreading the despair throughout my body does manage to turn it off, I guess.
If I were the original Apocalypse, I would have used this despair to kill humans and create more despair for the magical girls, but I had no particular desire to fight magical girls.
More than anything, if I fought in my current state, Emerald would obliterate me in an instant.
Well, for a halo suddenly appearing, this has been a quiet—
BANG!!!!!
"...You scared me."
"I didn't mean to startle you. I'm sorry."
Of course it wouldn't pass quietly.
I was sure I'd seen her leave the hospital, yet she'd sensed the despair energy in that short time and come running?
Worried I might have been found out, I lowered my eyes and rolled them around nervously.
Anyone could see I looked flustered, but the room was dark enough that she didn't seem to notice properly.
Though I can see her side perfectly fine.
A rigidly set expression.
Rapid breathing.
And a gaze sharpened to a razor's edge.
"It seems she's having a nightmare."
"...Yes, it does."
Feeling as if Emerald's eyes held only me, I decided to change the subject.
Look, the magical girl you saved is groaning from a nightmare.
She was even subjected to human experimentation by that vicious, evil monster doctor, you know?
Focus your attention on her, not me.
Come on. Hurry!
"Akari, did anything... um, strange happen?"
"Something strange? What kind of strange thing?"
"...No, it's nothing."
When I tilted my head innocently and asked as if I had no idea, Emerald sighed and turned her head away.
...She's clearly suspicious of me.
My heart pounded at Emerald's aura, which looked ready to shout "Transform!" at any moment.
"More importantly, weren't you going home?"
"I'll stay here tonight. I'm a little uneasy."
Her eyes seemed to say, And that source of unease is you.
Hey, even so, it's not like I go around killing people indiscriminately.
The original Apocalypse might have cut down everything in her path like a walking guillotine, but I was far more delicate, pure, and even gentle a monster than Emerald imagined.
I'm not lying—there really hasn't been any loss of life, okay?
"You must be tired too, Akari. Please get some rest."
"...I'm not particularly tired."
If it had been before I'd eaten Tamako's despair, maybe, but after taking even a little into my mouth, my fatigue had vanished completely.
Right now I felt like I could rampage even more!
And honestly, I was too afraid that if I fell asleep like this, I'd get hit with a magic beam while I was out cold to even think about sleeping.
"..."
"..."
We stayed like that in silence for a long while.
Just when I was starting to regret not at least pretending to sleep by lying down, Emerald slowly broke the silence.
"Akari, are you... all right right now?"
"Is there any reason I wouldn't be?"
If Emerald had been blasting me with magic beams, I would have been far from all right, but with a magical girl not shooting magic beams at me and even being able to get a little despair on the side, there was no way I wasn't all right.
It felt a bit like living the high life of a fire moth or something.
A despair fountain that spewed despair while she slept—what could be better?
Once I'm discharged, I really want to take her with me...
If only Tamako stayed by my side, I could live without ever worrying about despair for the rest of my life.
I gently brushed aside the sweat-soaked hair stuck to her face and gazed at Tamako with earnest eyes.
I'm your savior, so you can at least be my despair shuttle for life, right? Yeah?
They say a life-saving benefactor is a lifelong benefactor, after all.
But that won't work, not with that one as her guardian.
"...If you give up from the start without expecting anything, there's no such thing as disappointment."
In a half-enlightened voice, while inwardly cursing Emerald thoroughly, I muttered softly.
You get betrayed because you expect things, Apocalypse.
From now on, you're destined to live picking up the scraps of ordinary humans' despair for the rest of your life.
Just like the common monsters roaming the streets.
Like that.