Cool Cleanups, Hot Rewards
Winz and I started clearing the underground passage together.
Ever peeked into a room that hasn’t been tidied in years? This place was worse—an abyss.
Rotting corpses of unknown origin. Piles of unidentifiable bones. And every kind of monster you could imagine.
I cut down every monster I saw. Again and again. We’d come here to clean house, after all.
“Kheheeeek!”
I had no idea how many I needed to kill. The lord hadn’t set any quota. But I figured spilling enough blood would do the trick.
Perfect timing, really.
The aftertaste from dealing with Vile had been bitter. If I needed to vent that frustration, now was the moment.
I had just finished cutting down an old orc when its collapsing body knocked loose a boarded-up section of the wall.
“What’s this?”
I poked my head in. A short, artificially dug tunnel stretched ahead, packed with goblin corpses.
Yeah. Baby goblins.
“Are those… young goblins?”
“It appears so.”
Winz nodded, then tapped my shoulder. Following her gaze, I spotted what looked like the mother goblin, snarling and clutching a rusty dagger.
“Don’t worry. We’re not after you.”
“Hiiik! I-is that true? Human, can you promise?!”
“You even know what a promise is?”
“This is our home! Get out!”
For a goblin, she spoke our language remarkably well—almost native level, aside from the weird accent and phrasing.
I nodded and smiled softly.
“I know. That’s why I came to send you somewhere better.”
The mother goblin’s expression softened a little.
“Ooh, where’s that?”
“Heaven. Starting with your kids.”
Whoosh—crack! Thud! Squish, splat!
Right in front of the mother goblin, I stomped her children to death.
Clang!
The dagger slipped from her fingers as her face went deathly pale. I didn’t care. I finished off every last goblin infant.
“Aaaah, no, nooooo!”
The mother goblin wailed. I looked at her like she was the weird one.
“Crying like that won’t turn your hair golden and make you stronger, you know. Shame. I’d love that too.”
“Y-you…!”
“On the continent of Ysgard, goblins cause damage everywhere. Even two surviving goblin infants will turn into thousands in a month. How could we possibly like goblins?”
“We haven’t done anything yet!”
“But you will soon, won’t you? That’s why you’re freeloading down here like some fairy-tale snail bride. At least she cooked. What do you do?”
Regrettable, but necessary. Actually, not regrettable at all.
Goblins were basically giant cockroaches. And if those cockroaches adapted to humans, learned strategy and tactics, and started kidnapping women from every race to breed more of themselves? That was already happening.
These dangerous creatures had been living right beneath the territory.
“You… I’ll never forgive—”
Slash!
I swung my sword in a clean arc and took her head. As the body fell, I heard a faint whimper from deeper in the tunnel.
Peering in, I found one last infant hiding beneath the corpses of its siblings.
“Well, look at that.”
I gathered the severed goblin heads and showed them to the last survivor, shaking the mother’s head especially slowly.
“See? Your family.”
“K-kieeeek! I’ll get revenge!”
“What exactly can you do?”
Thrust!
I drove my blade into its neck and twisted. Winz watched with a seductive smile.
“My lady, that was terribly cruel!”
“Goblins deserve this much.”
We pressed deeper.
“Winz, let’s split up here. Kill every monster you see.”
“Oh my, my lady’s tension is so lewd! Haaang♥”
“The only good monster is a dead monstereeee!”
We continued the cleanup. During the sweep I saw all sorts of things—lost travelers, merchants living like it was their own home, even a spot that would’ve been perfect for an antenna. All in all, profitable. I hadn’t expected merchants down here.
Come to think of it, if I keep going this way I should hit a dead-end grate. Beyond that…
Step, step. Splash, splash.
I ignored the sewage splashing around my feet and kept moving until I found a treasure chest.
Rubbing my hands together, I approached. In the original story the protagonist discovered this during a guild quest. I’d beaten them to it.
I opened it in one go.
Creak—click!
Inside was a rare ore called fusion stone. Exactly what I needed.
Fate’s helping me out. Lucky me.
Grinning, I examined the stone. On the surface it looked like a rough blue gem, but properly used it could fuse items together. I already had a weapon in mind to merge it with once I bought it from the blacksmith.
Just as I was about to head back to Winz, the notification appeared.
Side Quest ‘A Fine Day for Monster Hunting’ Cleared!
Obtained: Corrupted Ringudite ×1
Random Item Judgment… Judgment Complete!
Obtained: Eileen!
What? For real?
This was exactly the item I’d been planning to buy. I never expected it as a quest reward.
Jackpot on funds.
Even better. Maybe I’d use the extra money to buy Winz some lewd underwear. She’d wear it for me, right?
I checked the item specs.
Rarity: Limited Edition
Unique Passive — Vital Point Specialist: Any hit to an enemy’s vital point guarantees a critical strike.
Unique Passive — Flash Trap: Summons a flash trap that detonates two seconds after creation. Direct shots trigger immediate detonation.
「A chrome lever-action rifle with a long barrel, blooming on fields of slaughter.」
I’d been thinking I needed a ranged weapon. Not desperately, but you never knew. One day I might have to play secret agent or snipe like some barcode-headed assassin.
After reuniting with Winz, we headed outside. The moment we emerged, I saw a soldier getting chummy with the homeless folks.
“You’ve all had it rough, haven’t you? Sniff… Please believe in our lord. He’ll definitely reach out to help! So keep living like a burning flame! Hoo-heeeng!”
Winz and I exchanged glances, then approached the soldier. After knocking some sense into him, we returned to the mansion.
Once again we each grabbed a sack and headed out. What were the sacks for? I’d prepared them earlier when buying bread. I planned to stuff as many monster heads inside as possible—evidence. Proof I’d worked my ass off.
Back at the mansion, we met the lord. Alex Womchester looked shocked.
“You finished faster than expected. As expected of Wednesday’s next head!”
He really rated me highly. Even the surrounding soldiers and servants were looking at me differently now. Before, they’d basically ignored me.
“She’s pretty strong for a girl, huh?”
“She’s a noble to begin with. She did all that without magic?”
“Oh my, I could never do that!”
“How many heads is that? Hyaa, I’m getting excited♥”
Various reactions. Then it was time to talk rewards.
“So, what do you want?”
“Two things.”
“What are they?”
“First, I’d like any mass-produced or high-grade items you’re not using, my lord.”
Alex’s eyebrows twitched.
“Surprisingly modest. I’ll prepare them!”
With a single glance at the butler, he had the items fetched. These would fuel my next rank-up. Buying everything from blacksmiths one by one would be a hassle, especially if I ended up camping or visiting cities without forges. Better to stock up now.
“And the second?”
“I want land. And I want to build on it.”
“Exactly where…?”
Alex grew visibly wary at the mention of land. Already getting stingy?
“The west.”
“The west? Not the east?”
“It won’t be bad for you either, my lord. Grant me a patron territory in the west under the concept of a sponsored noble.”
My plan was simple: establish a patron territory in the west. My name had already spread far and wide—mostly with a bad reputation. Even in the lawless west, people might behave near my land. I wanted to gradually change the west this way.
Why? Because eventually I planned to make it mine.
You never know.
Alex let out a hearty laugh, as if he’d seen right through me.
“That’s brilliant! Very well. I’ll grant you a suitable patron territory in the west!”
“Thank you.”
The butler soon returned with a sack full of items.
“Whew, can you even carry all that…?”
“Yes, I can.”
I casually snatched it and stored everything in my ring.
“Then I’ll be going, my lord.”
“Right. Come visit often!”
As we left the mansion, Winz let out a short sigh.
“Phew. It was a damp, filthy underground passage, but it was rewarding, wasn’t it?”
“You think so? Hungry? Want to grab something to eat?”
“Ugh, do you even have an appetite…?”
“A person’s gotta eat when they’re hungry. Before that, let’s stop by the blacksmith.”
On the way to the forge, Winz and I played around with plenty of physical teasing. She was more forward than I’d expected. The old saying about southern French women being sexually aggressive came to mind—she reminded me of exactly that.
It was a miracle I’d held out this long.
At the blacksmith, I handed over the fusion stone, the quest rewards, and even the gloves I was wearing.
“I want to fuse this gun into the gloves so it’s built-in.”
“Huh. I’ve heard of such things, but whether it’s actually possible…”
Jingle!
I dumped an entire pouch of coins onto the table. Gold scattered everywhere.
“You’re telling me the best blacksmith in Womchester can’t do it? I even brought fusion stone. I believe in you.”
The gold coins clattering across the table and the test anvil right in front of him made the blacksmith cross his arms and flex.
“Who says I can’t? Ordinary blacksmiths might not know if they can, but I’ll show you my class!”
Clang, clang! Clang, clang!
“My lady, what kind of performance are you trying to show me this time?!”
“Heh, performance? It’s just necessity. Like wearing a pad on that day? Same thing.”
“I don’t wear one, though?”
“Huh? Why? Weren’t you a virgin?”
At my question, Winz blushed and smiled.
“I am a virgin. But I always wear that, don’t I…? So it’s fine♥”
“Uh, uhh… I see?”
A little scary. More precisely, I was terrified of what kind of yandere she might become if I disappointed her.
Do well. I have to do well. Haah.
“There, all done!”
I equipped the slightly charred gloves. The weight felt the same, but the sensation was completely different—like I was hiding a trump card.
Clack, click!
With just my will, the barrel extended and I fired. The bullet was made of my own energy.
I’d obtained the perfect ranged weapon.
Hyaa, this is why you spend money!