The Road That Leads to Everyone
The morning was already a blur.
In truth, I had nothing to prepare. For the sake of a perfect debut, I had handed every last detail over to the experts — styling, hair, makeup, the whole of it. It cost a fortune, but I spent without flinching. A perfect first step was worth the investment.
The only snag, small as it was, was that next month's rent had suddenly become a near thing.
How many Water Balloon missions should I cancel? The appearance modification is finished. It's not as if I desperately need points right this second.
A reasonable thought. You needed money to eat and live if a life was going to keep going at all, and with that stability under me I could throw myself all the harder into earning points later.
"Which agency are you with? You haven't started any projects yet?"
"Nooo, I'm just a regular person."
"Sorry? Really? Oh my! I'm not just saying this — I've supported more than a few celebrities in my time, and unnie, you're right at the top of that list."
"Oh, come on. I'm not."
"I mean it! Your face is one thing, but what are we supposed to do with this figure? This is on the level of those Western model unnies."
"You don't have to gild my face. I'll come back next time anyway."
"I'm telling you, I don't do empty compliments. Augh! It's not like I can turn my insides out and show you..."
I had booked the professional hair-and-makeup shop ten days in advance. Lately I'd been all over the news and drawing so much aggro that I made the trip by taxi in a loose hoodie, hat, sunglasses, and a mask — and the director's reaction was no joke. Eyes glittering, she asked me this and that, and the moment she learned I was an ordinary civilian she even offered to connect me with an agency she knew. Time kept moving while we talked, so I declined as politely as I could and surrendered my whole body to expert hands.
"You said you're twenty-four, right? How is your skin like this! You're a total baby. A baby."
"It's just ordinary. Really."
"Say that anywhere else and you'll get rocks thrown at you. Oh my, oh my! I thought it was only firm, but look how soft it is!"
She marveled so endlessly I thought my ears might crust over. Even so, I could feel the sincerity and the goodwill in the way she moved, and that kept the mood from turning sour. She even waved off the stylist who had been booked for me and took me on herself, telling me that if I ever wanted the shop again I only had to call two days ahead — and she pressed her direct number into my hand.
"See you next time, our pretty one!"
"Yes, unnie!"
I must have struck her fancy completely, because she cut today's bill in half. So from this day on, she was Mio unnie. In a capitalist society, a half-price discount is always the correct choice.
"Insa-dong, please."
"...Aigoo. All right."
Afraid the makeup would rub off, I took the mask away, and the hat had to go as well for the sake of my hair. My real face sat behind the sunglasses, barely hidden. The older driver must have caught a glimpse of it. He lost every scrap of his dignified calm and kept stealing glances at the back seat.
"We're here."
"Thank you. Have a good day."
I paid and stepped out of the taxi. True to Insa-dong, the street was packed with people, and the gazes around me gathered on me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. In my head, the soundtrack to Are Beauties Miserable? cued up all over again.
A man whose eyes went round, the whites swelling even larger the instant they met mine. A man walking arm in arm with his girlfriend whose head locked entirely in my direction until she stomped his foot. A man on a phone call who saw me and seemed to suffer a total failure of cognition, repeating into the receiver whatever he had already said. Every variety imaginable — if you set aside the single thing they had in common. I had stolen their attention.
"H-hey! You there!"
"D-did you come alo—"
Even as I walked, the farce of two men trying to talk to me at once unfolded. I barely peeled the clingy pair off me and reached the shop I had reserved.
This one styled outfits to an image and a concept, then sold or rented them.
"Oh my!"
The reaction here was the same. Only the offer was different. They ran an online shop, and they wanted to know if I would consider modeling. It was a fine chance to earn living money, but it would have eaten the hours I needed for streaming, so I swallowed the regret and turned them down. Money was only tight for the moment. If the YouTube channel kept growing the way it was now, it would be worries over, happiness begins.
"What a shame. If you'd only model, a jump in sales would be money in the bank."
"Ha. Ha. Ha."
Enduring the owner's covetous stare, I settled on renting two outfits. One I would wear out from here. The other I meant to change into during a break in the collab broadcast.
Mia, I'm sorry. It's your birthday, but I don't think I can hand you the starring role.
A few more collabs afterward ought to make it up to her. After today I was certain I would be a BJ with an influence that left Mia, Lac, and the rest behind. This wasn't a prediction. It was conviction. My face, as it was now, carried that much destructive power.
"Just wear them prettily and bring them back within the week. And if you change your mind about the modeling, call anytime."
"Yes, thank you!"
The moment I stepped outside, the gazes closed in all over again. They say a rice cake that looks good tastes good too. I wasn't sure the saying quite fit, but once a fine product received a lavish upgrade in wrapping, the men's eyes lit up and the women shot them sidelong glares.
The time... it's already past three.
I had left the house at nine in the morning. Set travel aside, and the business of dolling myself up had eaten about five hours. The labor required to raise one's girl power was truly something else. Had I still been a man, a rough wash, toner, lotion, and a pass of wax through my hair would have been the entire ritual. Even if I'd fussed over clothes, the whole thing would have been finished inside an hour.
I should head over early.
There was nothing left to do anyway. Mia's place was out in Eunpyeong District, so a taxi from here would take thirty or forty minutes. The broadcast started at five in the afternoon, which left me about an hour to spare.
Come to think of it, this is the first time I'll actually meet Mia in person. Heh. I'm a little excited.
I had grown up an only son, so I'd always carried a faint romantic notion of having a younger sibling. And Mia, with all her cute and adorable little ways, was a little sister who answered that notion perfectly.
Will she like the birthday present?
I was looking forward to it. To the reactions when my appearance was revealed in full on today's broadcast... and to the sight of Mia lighting up over her gift.
"Toward Yeonsinnae Station, please."
"All ri— huh!"
I left behind a taxi driver's reaction that felt oddly familiar and started on my way. It was a really good day for a broadcast.
Mia clutched a heart that had been pounding since morning. At first it beat so hard she wondered if it might be some illness. Hot, and fierce. But as the hours passed, she grew certain. This was no illness. It was anticipation... a feeling for someone she would meet very soon.
Today's collab would bring Lac and Clemoomoo, and Waka as well, the one she'd grown close to since the Namtat Tournament. Wagyu would already have passed through the replacement depot and gone into basic training by now, so he was a natural pass! With diligent Lac in the lead, the people they'd promised began arriving one by one. An hour before the broadcast, Clemoomoo and Waka made it too. The only one left was Hani.
Unnie...
The moment she thought of Hani, feelings she couldn't cleanly name stirred up her heart. It pounded. It hadn't been like this from the start. If anything, the beginning had been a bad one. Her nerves had already been hanging by a thread under the harassment of malicious viewers, and then she had even come to believe that Hani had sniped her, and dislike had taken root on top of that.
It was all a misunderstanding. Unnie would never be that kind of person. Back then I didn't know anything, and I acted like a fool.
She had rashly signed up for a one-on-one and lost in a rout, and critical opinion had closed in around her. Antis who had been circling since before latched on as well, and it might have become a crisis for her life as a streamer. In the middle of that crisis, Hani had held out a helping hand. Not content with that, she had offered warm comfort too.
From the day Mia started broadcasting, envy and jealousy had never let her alone. Competitors ate their hearts out watching someone so young debut as a BJ and climb without a stumble, and there were even BJs like Yumi who stepped forward themselves to badmouth her behind her back and harass her. So she was always lonely. Lac and Clemoomoo were there, but there is a sensibility that belongs to the same gender, one the opposite sex simply cannot fill. Hani filled it. At first, by soothing that loneliness... but it didn't end there. She proved herself as a gaming BJ by reaching Diamond, and on the Miracle collab she showed off a brilliant gift no one had imagined, a talent for vocal impressions. That talent shone even brighter afterward, on the hidden-camera broadcast aimed at Lac.
Unnie really is the best.
When she started YouTube, she stood her ground even against the malicious attacks of a feminist crowd. She ran a legend-tier collab with famous former pros, Soldier the World Series champion among them, and just a few days ago she had appeared on the news. They said she had taken down a violent criminal with her bare hands and saved a woman in danger as splendidly as a prince on a white horse. A perfect protagonist who might have stepped out of a novel or a comic. If you gathered her into a single word, she was nothing less than an object of adoration.
"Oh, Hani's gotten off at the station. Shall I go out and meet her? She might lose her way."
"Oppa, tidy that room over there! Don't you worry about anything else."
"Huh? Th-this isn't even our house... R-right. Okay."
One strike from a sharp glare, and Clemoomoo ducked his head and started cleaning. Muttering to himself that it was her birthday, so he'd let it go just this once, he gathered up what was left of the eldest member's shattered pride.
How dare you! I'm going to be the first one to meet unnie.
The knowledge that Clemoomoo and Lac had already done a real-life collab broadcast with her had been wiped from her mind. Or perhaps she was claiming a private victory with her last line of defense — the mask.
Unnie...
She leaned her head a little out the window and looked toward the subway station. Warm September sunlight brushed past the glass. With a pounding heart, she waited for her.