Chapter 25
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 25
Chapter Title: Ballpoint Heart (2)
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The water flowing down her body was tinged pink. Hong Ryeon blankly opened her eyes as the falling stream hit her.
A nude woman with red hair appeared in the mirror right in front of her. It was long past the time to ask who she was, but every time she looked, she found herself questioning it anyway.
Who are you? Where had the man named Hong Yun-su gone, and why was this red-haired woman named Hong Ryeon in the mirror instead?
She had never found an answer to that question. She knew full well it wasn't the kind of doubt uttered in search of a real response.
So why did she keep asking herself? Even Hong Ryeon didn't know. It was just a thought that crossed her mind every time she looked in the mirror. Nothing more than that.
...Really?
"What are you gonna do about it?"
Hong Ryeon muttered blankly in response to the doubt she'd conjured up herself. With a creak, she turned the lever, and the stream of water stopped.
She gathered her hair, wrung out the moisture, and used the towel hanging near the exit to dry the rest before grabbing another to wipe down her body.
It felt incredibly natural, as if it were a lie that she'd been a man just five months ago. Hong Ryeon tossed the used towels into the bin and stepped out into the changing room. And there, waiting unexpectedly, was someone she hadn't anticipated.
"...What are you doing here?"
"All done washing up?"
Baek So-ra, the girl with ashen hair, asked with her usual expressionless face. Hong Ryeon nodded and picked up the hairdryer.
A whirring sound filled the air as warm gusts swept through her hair.
"Didn't Ryu Jin-ah come with you?"
"No. She was helping Ha Yoon with Kim Seon-ah."
"She's such a goody-two-shoes."
Of course, this wasn't the first time Ryu Jin-ah had acted that way. Even before all the upperclassmen had been released into society, it had mostly fallen to her to look after the new trainees.
No one had told her to do it. Ryu Jin-ah always moved first, before anyone could say a word. It was to help the trainees who denied and tried to escape reality adapt more quickly. Most only started obeying meekly after getting thoroughly thrashed by the trainers once or twice, though.
Was it her innate nature, or had she changed after coming here? Hong Ryeon wondered, gazing at Baek So-ra through the mirror.
Come to think of it, Baek So-ra had undergone the most drastic personality change out of the three. She used to cry a lot. From the first day, after being dragged off to Trainer Ha on duty, she'd spent the entire schedule in tears, drawing a lot of attention from the trainers in the process.
Tears might be a woman's weapon elsewhere, but here they were just a weakness. If anything, her crying only made them want to ravage her even more fiercely, saying it turned them on.
As those incidents repeated, Baek So-ra gradually stopped crying. And at the same time, she stopped smiling almost entirely.
As she thought that, a warmth pressed against her back. Baek So-ra, who had been sitting nearby, had snuck up and hugged her from behind.
Hong Ryeon set down the hairdryer and asked,
"What?"
"Why'd you do that to Ha Yoon? You didn't plan to, right?"
It was just as Baek So-ra said. At first, Hong Ryeon had only thought of punching her out whenever stress built up or maybe gang-raping her like she'd been subjected to. She hadn't intended to draw blood, though.
But she just couldn't hold back. Seeing Ha Yoon, who had only undergone a bit of training, terrified and sniveling like that—it was too pathetic, too far removed from the Trainer Ha she remembered.
"...I was just pissed off."
"Want me to comfort you?"
"Comfort?"
"Yeah, comfort."
She could see the hands around her waist slowly creeping up toward her breasts.
"Jeez, is that why you were waiting?"
"If you don't want it, I won't."
"I didn't say I didn't want it?"
A faint chuckle tickled her nape from behind, and Hong Ryeon couldn't help but smirk in response.
It wasn't long before feminine moans began echoing through the changing room.
"Ha Yoon, you okay?"
She didn't look okay, but that's all Jin Si-won could say as she approached cautiously. Ha Yoon nodded and wiped her tears with her palm.
"But what are we gonna do? We can't send Ha Yoon to Trainer Choi in this state..."
The wounds would heal with time. But even healed, there was no stopping Ha Yoon from going to Trainer Choi. A trainer's orders were absolute; trainees' wishes didn't change that.
Jin Si-won sighed at Kim Seon-ah's words.
"Hate to say it, but Hong Ryeon was right. No one can go in her place. That's what Trainer Duty is."
It'd be lucky if trying to substitute didn't get you beaten alongside her. Jin Si-won had learned that the hard way once, when she'd tried it for Shin So-hyeon.
But Kim Seon-ah's face hardened with resolve.
"Then, going with her should be fine, right?"
"...Park Trainer might be one thing, but Choi Trainer? You sure?"
No way it would be. She knew full well what Ha Yoon had endured during Trainer Choi's sex ed. Hadn't she gone to free her from the restraints herself?
"I'm scared too. But I can't send Ha Yoon off alone when she's shaking like this."
"Jeez..."
Jin Si-won shook her head.
"I know it's weird to say, but why are you protecting Ha Yoon so much?"
She might like Ha Yoon because she was a fool, but objectively, Ha Yoon wasn't easy to like.
Reckless, quick to look down on others, spewing curses without hesitation. And she'd been a trainer at this academy before, so the trainees who'd suffered under the trainers naturally resented her.
Kim Seon-ah knew all that and still defended her. Jin Si-won couldn't understand it.
"We're in the same batch. We have to help each other."
"This place runs like the army, but it's not like there's a real buddy system."
"I know. But Ha Yoon was the first one here to reach out to me."
"...Her?"p>
She didn't seem the type, and Kim Seon-ah smiled awkwardly at the skeptical look. Of course, as Jin Si-won said, that "help" had all been violent.
Grabbing her by the hair to make her move or yelling curses at her. But in the end, it had all been to keep her from greater violence.
Even if it was because she hadn't understood or obeyed at first and got beaten badly for it. Stroking Kim Seon-ah's still slightly crooked nose from just yesterday, she said,
"So even if others badmouth Ha Yoon, I can't."
"...Mark my words, in a few weeks, you two'll be fucking every break."
"W-what are you talking about?!"
Kim Seon-ah flushed and yelled, making Jin Si-won chuckle as she stood up.
"Do whatever. I dunno if it's good or bad. Anyway, I gotta go."
"Ah, Jin Si-won, you got called by Trainer Gan too..."
"Yeah. Tonight's gonna hurt."
She shuddered at the mere thought, then turned to look at Kim Seon-ah.
"And don't call me Jin Si-won. Too formal."
"Uh, then..."
"Just Si-won casually. No honorifics. Everyone here uses casual speech anyway; you standing out with polite talk is weird."
"It's a habit, I can't help it..."
"Anyway, casual starting tomorrow. I'm off."
"Ah, okay. See you tomorrow."
Kim Seon-ah watched Jin Si-won saunter toward the infirmary where Trainer Gan was, then turned to Ha Yoon, who was pressing her lips tight.
"Shall we take a little walk?"
"...Walk?"
"Just to get some fresh air before heading back. Might be better."
She didn't know exactly how long Trainer Duty lasted, but once she went in, she'd probably be stuck in that closed room for a good long while.
So, she wanted to breathe fresh air at least briefly before then. The wounds wouldn't be going anywhere until they healed anyway.
Ha Yoon thought for a moment at Kim Seon-ah's suggestion, then nodded. Right now, she preferred being outside this stuffy building too.
The passageway to the outside wasn't far, so they were out quickly. It was still early spring night, and the breeze felt chilly. But somehow, it eased the heat rising from the wound on her shoulder a bit.
The two walked silently across the parade ground, sand crunching underfoot.
Just two days. It hadn't even been that long since arriving at the academy built in the mountains away from the city, but she already missed the urban sprawl. More precisely, she missed being a man living in the city.
Gazing at the wide-open front gate, Ha Yoon felt a strange impulse.
Guarding the gate was a single CCTV camera. The moment she stepped out, even if it was open, the CCTV would detect it and alert the trainers immediately.
Soon after, they'd report to the police and track the GPS in her ID collar to catch her.
She knew that, yet Ha Yoon wanted to walk through that gate. Beyond it, the distant city lights would be visible.
Of course, she knew how futile that was. The stories from trainees caught after escape attempts were all grim.
No matter how much she wanted to die sometimes, she didn't want to die like that. Better to live than suffer in agony right up to the end.
"The air really is fresh up in the mountains."
"...Yeah."
But was living like this really better than dying?
Ha Yoon pondered as she replied to Kim Seon-ah. Dying scared her. But living like this was just as agonizing.
If she'd submitted from the start, things wouldn't have escalated this badly.
But she couldn't. How could a person change overnight after living that way her whole life?
As she thought that, a warm hand grasped hers. Turning, she saw Kim Seon-ah lifting their joined hands with a smile.
"Doesn't it feel a bit warmer like this, even if it's cold?"
Indeed, just sharing warmth by holding hands made her body feel cozy, despite the cool breeze brushing past.
Ha Yoon stared at her blankly before muttering in disbelief,
"...Are you an idiot? If it's cold, just go inside."
"Eek, saying that here?"
Kim Seon-ah sounded hurt, but Ha Yoon sniffled and averted her gaze.
Still, she had to say this. Thinking so, she added softly,
"Thanks for helping."
"Huh?"
"Thanks for helping. For bandaging me, and standing up to Hong Ryeon for me!"
Ha Yoon shouted, her ears turning red—whether from the cold or embarrassment, Kim Seon-ah couldn't tell. She blinked, then smiled.
"You're welcome."
Damn, making me say embarrassing crap twice.
Ha Yoon grumbled, avoiding the warm gaze in Kim Seon-ah's eyes.