Land, Sea, and Air (1)
Having come back from a sweet yet dizzying outing with Miss Jeong, I'd figured I could spend my days lazily watching the tourists who'd come to stay at the pensions. But of course, the world wasn't about to take it easy just because I was.
Just because it was vacation season didn't mean Dimensional Anomalies packed up and went on holiday too — and it wasn't as if those monster pests had dug themselves a hole to lounge around in for a summer getaway.
It had been a while since I'd last visited President Sung's office. The last time I was here, the man had been trembling just reaching for soju and jerky — so I had no idea what scheme he was cooking up, cracking open a bottle of expensive whiskey like this.
A burning heat rolled down my throat, followed by a faint fruitiness. This guy had actually splurged on something pretty pricey.
"So? You didn't call me out here just to show off your whiskey."
"Jumping straight to business already? Fine by me, I suppose."
True to form for a businessman — he did like getting to the point. I set down my glass and stared at him.
"If you're calling me during vacation season… it's definitely not for bodyguard work. The ones who are busiest around this time of year are the types we don't have anything to do with, right?"
The ones who stayed busy even during vacation season — the ones we should never, ever get involved with. Hunters.
"Hmm? That's right. Nothing good ever comes from getting mixed up with those Hunter Bureau folks."
President Sung waved the notion off and hurriedly spun his laptop around to show me the screen. In the video, a bird so enormous you could have mistaken it for a pterosaur drifted lazily on the water among a flock of smaller birds. Its wingspan looked to be well over three meters, and that beak — thick as a man's forearm — was plenty menacing.
"…A pterosaur?"
"Nope. Official designation: freshwater cormorant."
"Haa… so after land and sea, now you want me doing aerial combat too? Never mind that — why'd the Hunter Bureau suddenly come up?"
At my question, President Sung's expression turned serious again.
"That's the thing… those Hunter Bureau bastards blocked the extermination request for this creature."
I picked a peanut off the plate and popped it in my mouth, unimpressed.
"The reason they blocked it is obvious. Flying-type monsters are rare, so they want to keep them around as training materials for the academies. They probably padded the fishermen's pockets with a fat compensation package too, right? Those guys have more money than they know what to do with."
"As always, for businessmen like us, things always go sideways over the pettiest reasons."
President Sung gave a bitter smile and took another swallow of whiskey.
"There wasn't even a hunting request, was there? Are you telling me to pick up a gun illegally?"
"Hey now… I may look cheap, but I do everything by the book."
"Then I take it you've got some clever workaround?"
"Hahaha! Of course I do!"
President Sung sat down beside me with a sly grin, and a nauseating wave of that cheap skin lotion only middle-aged men ever used rolled over me. This guy, I swear. Please just switch lotions already.
Anyway, he moved the mouse and opened another window. On the screen was a girl with a baby face. Judging by her features, she looked a bit older than Nureongi and Poppy, but that clueless, innocent smile made her look more like a student than a Hunter.
"Looks like some rookie Hunter. What's her deal?"
"She's a trainee being dispatched to our side from City Hall."
"Wow, unlucky kid. Getting assigned to City Hall of all places."
I didn't know the ins and outs of Hunter ecology, but I understood it as something roughly like the military. Get posted up north or in Gangwon Province, where Gates and anomalies ran thick, and you were an ace. Get sent to the relatively peaceful south, and you weren't exactly a high-priority asset. That was about the size of it.
"So, how are you planning to use this kid?"
"She's a total greenhorn, right? Figured we'd use this as her first hunt."
"And that has what to do with me?"
"On paper, it can't be a Hunter taking the job — it has to be processed as a hunting request. That's more convenient in a lot of ways."
"…Convenient meaning the money?"
"Huh? No, it's not like that. I've got some connections with the fishermen over there, and those Hunter Bureau guys have been dragging their feet so much…"
I was starting to get the picture. The Hunter Bureau was sitting on their hands, trying to keep their training material alive, while from the fishermen's perspective, those bird-brained pests dumping droppings on them every single day were more than a little infuriating. So they were going to file a complaint through President Sung: send one veteran Huntsman and one City Hall Hunter to wipe them out, nice and clean.
I knew from experience that nothing good came from getting mixed up with Hunters. But I also couldn't just sit around twiddling my thumbs all vacation with no work…
"It's a pretty slick loophole… but hey, it's legal, so it should be fine. So, paying in goods again this time?"
At my question, President Sung gave an easy laugh and clapped me on the shoulder.
"Come now… I'm not as desperate as I was with those mantis things last time."
"Well… work dries up during vacation season anyway, so I was just going to kill time hanging around the shooting range. A cormorant the size of a pterosaur, though… that might not be so bad."
Rookie or not, there was a proper Hunter involved, so I figured I could just sit back and watch from behind.
"Right? Then I'll take that as a yes?"
Looking at that sly grin, I wanted to stuff the peanuts in my mouth right down his throat. But thinking it over, there wasn't a single downside. It was legal, all they needed was my name, I wouldn't even have to fire a shot — just spectate and get paid. Win-win, right?
If Miss Jeong caught wind of it, I'd probably get a few extra smacks from her tail for getting mixed up with Hunters again. But who in their right mind turned down free money?
I knocked back the rest of my whiskey in one go and decided I'd stick around to see what kind of scheme this slippery old man was cooking up.
Of course, things never went the way I wanted them to.
A few days later, he showed up at our house again. In one hand, the leftover expensive whiskey. In the other, a beverage set "for the kids."
Watching that man slink into our yard like a criminal, I wanted to grab a shovel from the shed and give his ass a good thrashing. But looking at President Sung's face, it seemed like he'd gotten thoroughly wrecked himself. Better to ask what happened first.
"Before I go grab a shovel, how about you tell me what happened?"
President Sung, perched awkwardly on the edge of the porch, let out a sigh and gave a hollow laugh.
"Well… those bastards already had a trap set. The moment we filed the complaint, they jumped on it like they'd been waiting: 'In that case, we'll leave the trainee in Huntsman Jang's care!'"
"…Get down on the ground. I'll only hit you three times."
"Hey, come on! Even a Quasi-Awakener hitting a regular person would kill them!"
"Don't businessmen put their lives on the line for work?"
"Come now~ The kids are watching — don't say things like that!"
Watching President Sung scramble to save his own skin, I wanted to skip the beating and just bury him in the yard. But a question occurred to me.
"Hold on — why would the Hunter Bureau dump her on me? I'm not even a retired Hunter. There's a Hunter at the County Office."
At my question, President Sung's face twisted even further.
"That guy was the one who set the trap! He didn't want to take her himself, so he dumped it all on us with a bunch of fancy talk about how 'accompanying a field expert is more effective for training a newcomer' and whatever else sounded official!"
"Haa… this is why I hate civil servants."
"Right?"
"I hate you more."
In the end, President Sung had been hoisted by his own petard, and I'd been trying to get something for nothing — and we'd both gotten thoroughly played by a veteran retired Hunter even more seasoned than us: the Environmental Division officer. That bastard.
That afternoon, President Sung and I rushed over to the County Office, and sure enough — the Environmental Division officer was waiting for us in the smoking area behind the building, casually puffing on a cigarette.
"You made it?"
"You… you're handing your junior off to a civilian?"
"What do you want me to do about it? City Hall dumps their leftover work on me, so I outsource it. And you — you've been on TV lately, you're famous. Perfect for showing some pretentious greenhorn what a real professional looks like."
"Doesn't City Hall have a Hunter?"
"They do. My junior."
"Then shouldn't that person be handling this?"
He snorted a laugh and blew out a long stream of smoke.
"It's what they call subcontracting the subcontract. City Hall's buried in paperwork, so they dump the field work on the County Office. The County Office is plenty busy itself, so they outsource it. That's how it goes."
"…If this were the military, the country would've collapsed a long time ago."
"You think it'd be like this in the military? Having some pretentious greenhorn strutting around next to you is a massive pain."
The officer ground out his cigarette with his foot, chuckled, and started walking past us.
"President Sung, this is why I keep telling you not to stick your nose into Hunter business."
"Then what was I supposed to do? The fishermen came to me asking for help…"
"That's why you look before you leap. And Huntsman Jang — stop pulling useless little schemes and just think about doing your job properly."
Those words completely turned our situation on its head, but all we could do was stare blankly at his retreating back. Never mind that he was a civil servant — that man was an Awakened who could easily flatten both President Sung and me if we came at him at the same time.
"Haa… maybe I should try subcontracting the subcontract myself?"
I said it while glaring at President Sung beside me. He jumped and waved his hands frantically.
"Then you know about the holidays, right?"
"Ah! I know, I know! I'll make sure to put together something generous!"
In the end, in this petty game of kicking the work down the chain, the ones who always got the short end of the stick were, of course, the civilians.