The Mudflat Mudskipper (4)
Once I'd finally dragged that enormous thing up through the squelching mud and onto solid ground, Inspector Park came walking over. He fished a cigarette from his pack, stuck it between his lips, and clicked his tongue at the sight of the carcass.
"Tsk tsk… look at that. Whole thing's a dried pollack."
He gave the mudskipper's withered flank a poke with the toe of his shoe.
"It would've keeled over on its own if we'd just left it. Honestly, putting it down in one shot was a mercy."
Inspector Park nodded at that, then shifted his gaze and looked me up and down.
"Your clothes are completely shot. What are you going to do? You're not thinking of getting in the car looking like that, are you?"
"This is just workwear. I'll rinse off at the faucet up front, or just go as I am."
I shrugged like it was nothing.
"Yeah, better wash off right here. Leave the mudskipper with Officer Lee — when the county Environmental Division shows up, they can haul it away. You go get cleaned up."
That was Inspector Park all over. The infuriating kind of senior who dumped every annoying job on the youngest officer present. At the same time, it was the move of a veteran handing Officer Lee the variant-related credit in full. Which meant Officer Lee would be up all night wrestling with the report — but that was his problem. I had my own business to take care of.
I gave the hunting vest a rough shake, knocking off the worst of the mud, and rummaged through the pockets. The smartphone had survived, thankfully. I pulled it out and held it toward Inspector Park.
"Still. We ought to take a commemorative photo."
He didn't even try to hide his distaste as he reluctantly took the phone, clumped all over with mud.
"It's a little dirty, but it should still work."
I clamped both hands around the mudskipper's head — the thing was frozen in a ridiculous expression where the bullet had punched through — planted one foot squarely on its body, threw up a victory V-sign, and beamed at the camera.
"Come on~ it's a trophy catch, so make it a pretty one~!"
I threw in a nasal lilt on purpose. Inspector Park pressed a hand to his forehead.
"Alright, alright, just cut out that nasal voice. You're making my skin crawl."
He grumbled, but he lined up the shot anyway. I struck the perfect pose, and a moment later the shutter clicked. The second I heard it, I dropped the V-sign like it had never happened and let the mudskipper's head fall. I went over and checked what he'd taken.
The screen held a single strange, deeply satisfying photograph: a woman caked in mud, grinning with pure delight against the blue light of dawn, clutching the head of a grotesque monster.
"Hmm. That came out well."
I nodded, satisfied. Inspector Park, having even taken the photo for me, started walking toward the police car. Then he paused mid-step, as if something had just occurred to him, and glanced back.
"Oh, right. Don't go digging through the carcass for Magic Stones again. That's illegal now, apparently."
He tossed that out and actually left. I stared blankly after the emergency lights receding in silence, and then it hit me.
Wait a second… then what about Officer Lee?
Eh. He'd figure it out. Catch a ride back with the Environmental Division or whatever — I had my own way to go. Though the big shots in government apparently got that sore over a nobody like me picking up a little side income. Tch.
I gave the mudskipper's head a pointless kick, just to vent, and trudged over to the outdoor wash station nearby. I turned the tap, and cold groundwater gushed from the rubber hose attached to it. I dumped the water over my head like I was taking a shower and started rinsing off the mud and muck. The moment the cold dawn air and the icy stream hit my skin, this body I still wasn't used to seemed to startle — goosebumps raced over me. And why did these undergarments have to cling even worse the second they got wet?
I roughly washed off the mud, shook out my wet hair, and only then noticed Officer Lee walking toward me from the other side, late to the party. He'd been staring after the already-departed police car with a look of utter devastation; when he spotted me, he came over on leaden feet. I grinned at him with a dripping-wet face.
"They said to catch a ride back with the Environmental Division?"
Officer Lee let out a long, deep sigh, then gave a hollow little laugh.
"Well… I'll manage somehow. Haha…"
He had the look of a man who'd resigned himself — as if this wasn't the first time. It was a little pitiful. But I had no business inserting myself into the world of civil servants.
I plopped down in a sunny spot where the light was just starting to fall, unlocked my phone again, and opened the familiar community app. Even before my body had changed, I'd been posting hunting reports here — pheasants, rabbits, the occasional variant that turned up. After the change, though, all sorts of creeps started latching onto my posts and making a nuisance of themselves. So I'd taken to writing even more like a middle-aged man on purpose. Weirdly, even.
I gave the short post a once-over, then hit Submit, satisfied.
There was still some time before the county Environmental Division people would arrive. I rolled my stiff shoulders and stretched my back, working the kinks out, and watched the eastern sky flush red while I waited for my wet clothes to dry. Glancing over, I saw Officer Lee pacing near the entrance to the mudflat with his phone pressed to his ear. The polite "Yes, yes" and the careful explanation of our location told me he'd gotten through to them. In his own way, he was working hard at his job.
When he finally hung up and just stood there looking troubled, a mischievous streak came over me, and I tossed a remark his way.
"So, how's the payout looking?"
I'd figured a man who looked like he had zero interest in fishing or hunting would stammer and fumble. Instead, he answered surprisingly readily.
"Ah, the county Environmental Division says the bounty should come to about a million won."
The moment I heard the number, a deep sigh escaped me. I launched into a rant, as if taking my irritation out on Officer Lee for no good reason.
"Come on, if that thing had been a goby, Grandma Park and I could've been corpses by now, and they lowball us just because it's a mudskipper? Wow~ even a D-Rank Hunter's dispatch fee costs more than that. Shouldn't they be slapping another zero on it? The world sure runs easy, doesn't it?"
I even crossed my arms as I sniped at him. Officer Lee, not knowing what to do with himself, hung his head.
"Even if you complain to me… there's nothing I can actually do about it…"
Yeah. That powerless answer suited him. I flashed a grin and gave his shoulder a tap.
"I know. Just figured you might be getting bored, so I said something."
With that, I finally got down to the real business of clocking out and started checking over the firearm. I roughly wiped the mud-caked gun on the hem of my clothes, then moved on to the most important procedure: the chamber check. I stripped out every remaining round and double-checked that the chamber itself was empty — a simple safety routine, nothing more. Then I slung the empty gun over my back and walked to my truck.
"Well, good luck~"
I opened the door and gave Officer Lee a little wave. He just stared at me. He was a rookie — a little extra suffering built character. That was one way to look at it. Probably.
Leaving his pitiful figure behind, I headed back toward the substation into the morning sunlight of a breaking dawn.
When I stepped inside the substation, the other officers, worn out from the overnight shift, looked at me and nodded in silence. I stood in front of the Firearm Checkout Ledger and recorded the four rounds I'd used today, along with the exact count remaining. The moment I finished the paperwork, one of the officers came over and wordlessly took my firearm and the ammunition box. They treated it like a thoroughly familiar procedure — no questions asked — and disappeared into the back, toward the heavy gun locker.
Once the firearm had been fully returned, the taut string of tension that had been drawn tight since dawn finally snapped. A deep breath escaped me, and a huge yawn came with it. A languid drowsiness seeped into muscles stiffened by the cold dawn air and the struggle on the mudflat, as if my whole body were melting.
I was supposed to take Nureongi and Poppy to the mart today…
Go right now? Or… better to head home, catch even a little sleep, and head out around lunch. If I took them into town and bought everyone a decent meal while we were at it, they'd like that even more.
I was standing there in a daze in the middle of the substation, lost in those thoughts, when Inspector Park's voice cut in out of nowhere.
"You not going home?"
That offhand one-liner snapped me right back. I gave my own cheeks a couple of light pats, as if to shake myself awake.
"Ah, yeah. I should. Thanks for your hard work~!"
I gave the remaining officers a quick bow and headed back out to my beat-up old truck.