The Aftermath of Saving Everyone (And Losing My Dignity)
I ended up inside a zombie apocalypse novel. I was a little pissed off, but the first thing that hit me was this weird, clammy sensation. It felt like I’d just stepped out of the shower, and sure enough, my clothes were gone. On top of that, the underwear I was wearing wasn’t mine—it was this frilly pink pair that looked like it belonged to someone else. I was curious about how exactly things had gone sideways, but first things first: I needed to find some clothes. There was no way I was stepping outside in nothing but underwear, so I had to throw something on. Then, out of nowhere, a knock sounded at the door.
I hastily wrapped the blanket around myself and opened it.
“Eek!”
Kang Siwoo stepped inside, giving me a look that screamed pure pity. Hey, why are you coming in instead of leaving? You clearly know I’m not wearing anything, so barging in like this is seriously unsettling. And what the hell happened to him? His arms were covered in bruises like he’d taken a beating, and his eyes were swollen.
“Uh, no.”
“No, wait—tell me. I feel like I really need to hear this…”
Kang Siwoo gave me a short warning, then found a suitable chair, sat down, and let out a heavy sigh before explaining. Apparently there were two reasons he couldn’t come rescue me at the time. The first was that the tactics he’d taught the students were specialized in counterattacks and coordinated group assaults. Teaching anyone to go full lone-wolf rampage hadn’t been necessary yet. The second reason had to do with the character he was role-playing, and that part I could understand.
Kang Siwoo was only a second-year college student. He hadn’t trained in kendo, and he had no experience with this kind of thing. Plus, plenty of students on campus knew him. I’d heard he already had some acquaintances from before the outbreak. Obviously, if he suddenly awakened and started swinging a sword like a madman while slaughtering zombies, people would get suspicious. So I understood why he couldn’t come save me even though he could have.
“I was just about to explain that too.”
“Have I ever seen someone like you only once or twice?”
“…Huh?”
Kang Siwoo began explaining slowly. Among those with body-enhancement abilities, there were cases where people exhibited superhuman strength. Like people in burning buildings who suddenly gain incredible power… I tried to argue that I only got that kind of strength when I was about to die, but he told me to listen, so I shut up. The problem, he said, happened after the situation was over.
“So? That can happen, right?”
“Ah.”
“I-I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like that.”
“Oh. Y-Your eyes are bruised but you still look handsome. H-haha…”
No wonder his upper body was covered in bruises. Who would’ve guessed they were all from me flailing around and smacking him? Well… I did feel pretty guilty, but it seemed like he was willing to let it slide. So maybe it was okay to ask why my body felt so damp and why I was wearing this girly pink underwear.
“What? How high?”
“Didn’t you spray me with water?”
“Wasn’t there any bottled water?”
“Right, okay. So my clothes got soaked… you stripped me and did all that? I guess I owe you my life…”
“Hey, I know how to say thank you!”
“……Ah.”
My entire body froze solid. Everything I said on the way here? What the hell did I say while unconscious? I really hoped I hadn’t blurted out anything weird.
“Aaaaaaaaah! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear anything!”
“…Why are you making that face?”
“Why?”
“So what?!”
Kang Siwoo looked at me like I was hopeless. But I had plenty to say too. How many times had I taken hits for that bastard Noh Changhun? Our first meeting was a mess of mutual deception, but after that our camaraderie grew like crazy. We broke through hordes of zombies together, took down hunters, all of it. We’d been through thick and thin, bodies pressed together in the heat of battle for who knows how long. Feeling sorry for him? That was ridiculous. I suffered too, damn it!
“Ah.”
“I do not wag my tail! Anyone hearing this would think I’m a dog.”
“Good thing there aren’t any iron bars on the window.”
I leaned halfway out the window and suddenly wondered—when Baron had punched me in the gut and I fell from the first floor, I survived, right? Now that I was even tougher and my regeneration was stronger, I probably wouldn’t die from a fall like this. I could definitely survive and regenerate. So I quietly closed the window, flopped face-down on the bed, and buried my face in the pillow.
“I was just chased by zombies and almost died, that’s all.”
“Not even a little! Your taste is seriously questionable! Why bright pink of all things?!”
“Oh, your taste is excellent. Ahaha…”
“……You were messing with me just now, weren’t you!?”
When I glared at him with murderous eyes and picked up Beopbong, Kang Siwoo rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. I quietly set the weapon down and sat properly.
“W-well, that’s a good thing, right?”
“Ah.”
I wondered why he’d come all the way here himself, and then I saw the familiar pouch in front of me. It was wrapped in multiple layers of plastic, but I could tell immediately—it was the General’s Secretion Pouch. Since it was dangerous, he probably brought it personally. But if that was the case, why not just drop it off? Why bother talking to a half-naked woman? Oh, right. I was the one who opened the door. Whatever!
“Even if it was just an explanation, wasn’t it a bit long, Siwoo?”
“What aura?”
“Am I dumb?”
Kang Siwoo tapped the hilt of his sword a few times.
“I’m a total meathead, okay!”
“Forty-two! You don’t even know that?”
“Thirty!”
“Forty-five!”
“Ah, no… forty-two? Wait, thirty-five…”
“Wait, but… I… I can do multiplication…”
“Did I… really not know my times tables…?”
“But, I…”
Kang Siwoo closed the door and left as if he had nothing more to say.
Overall, the situation itself was an absolute success. We had successfully repelled the zombie invasion, turning every last one of them into chunks of meat. We killed the Swindler, and even the General had been taken care of by Ultimate Lee Yeji. The community’s morale would be through the roof, and the survivors on the other side would finally be able to breathe easy now that the General was gone. There were plenty of other benefits too. For Kang Siwoo and the students, it was a complete victory—they’d lost nothing and gained everything.
So why was I the only one who gained nothing and lost everything…?
I tried to console myself that it was fine if I sacrificed alone so everyone else could be happy, but that kind of mental gymnastics didn’t make me feel any better. Besides, there was no way I was a meathead who couldn’t even do six times seven. It must have been a mistake because I answered too quickly. With that thought, I picked up my clothes and started getting dressed.
Surely the day would come when I could change how people saw me. Yeah. In an ultimate way… It would definitely come…
But contrary to my expectations, a whole week passed and that opportunity never arrived.