The Headset and the Nightmare
I ended up inside a zombie apocalypse novel. And even after that, the chores kept piling up. I popped one of those black fruits to burn down the old base, then raided nearby marts and convenience stores for food. I even gathered up the corpses and prayed for them to rest in peace. After handling all that miscellaneous crap, night finally fell.
Noh Changhun said he’d take a quick lap around the area and left. When he came back, he immediately dropped this on me.
"The zombies get wilder once they lose their leader."
"What are they, some kind of alien species? Lose the boss and suddenly they go feral?"
"Shut up with the nonsense."
"But they don’t get any dumber, huh?"
"Yeah, they don’t get as stupid as you."
"This son of a bitch—"
I almost exploded and started cursing him out, but I didn’t have the energy. I was ridiculously tired, and my stomach was full, which actually put me in a decent mood. So I just stayed quiet and lay down.
"Hey, Changhun."
"Yeah?"
"I worked my ass off today. Let me borrow your lap for a bit."
"Go ahead."
"Wait, seriously?"
"It’s just a lap."
I thought for sure he’d give me some shit for it. But he let it slide without a word. I quickly rested my head on his thigh. Maybe because I’d been sleeping rough without a pillow for so long, it felt insanely comfortable. Next time I should probably grab any pillow I can find.
"Hey, hey, Changhun. Wasn’t there a store nearby that sold blankets?"
"Not around here. We already passed it."
"Oh. I was thinking we should grab some pillows and blankets."
"We have a blanket… Pillow’s not really necessary, is it?"
"Come on, it’s better if the body can rest properly."
"If there’s space for that, grab one more pack of food instead."
"Tch."
Noh Changhun was right. The only reason we could run around slaughtering zombies was thanks to all the food. It replenished the calories burned during regeneration, letting us stay in top condition. Even when I took down the General and the Spider King, it was because I’d eaten well beforehand.
Still, giving up on comfort felt wrong. We’d only have to suffer a little longer anyway. Two pillows… no, even one would be fine if I could just strap it to the cart.
"Do whatever you want."
"Nice! No more neck pain from now on."
"You can just use my arm as a pillow. It’s not like—"
"Then you be my arm pillow, Changhun. You’re not even gonna do it, so stop talking."
"Want me to?"
"No thanks! I’m getting a nice fluffy pillow and sleeping like a queen."
"Sure."
It was a pretty childish argument, but I didn’t care. We both chuckled for a moment before Noh Changhun stood up. He checked the building’s doors and other spots, then turned to me.
"Let’s tweak the plan a little."
"How?"
"We’ll break through Kangdong-dong in two to three days, then take down Baron the next morning."
"Why?"
"There haven’t been any attacks. The frenzied zombies should be running wild by now, but it’s too quiet."
"Ah."
"There’s probably another commander out there. Looks like he gathered the remnants and ran."
"Are we fucked?"
"Not really. Just… they’ll be pretty annoying?"
Noh Changhun was right. They were more than annoying. They were incredibly, massively annoying. But it wasn’t actually that hard. We had a skilled tank and a skilled damage-tank combo. Oh, and just so we’re clear—I’m the tank. I only know how to take hits and deal damage, after all.
Anyway, even if a small group of guerrillas jumped us, they’d only be a nuisance. Yeah, just a nuisance. My body kept accumulating injuries, but I never had time to eat or rest properly. At least my regeneration was excellent, so I could endure it. Noh Changhun had to rest at regular intervals.
Still, we pushed forward steadily and managed to cross Kangdong-dong in just two days.
"Heh heh."
"What?"
"Hehehehehe."
"What the hell?"
"Hurry up and praise me. You benefited a ton from me these past two days, didn’t you?"
Noh Changhun, who had just smashed open the convenience store door, gave me an incredulous look. But honestly, I had carried pretty hard. Every time he couldn’t fight, I tanked hits and bites while beating back the zombies. I’d earned at least some praise. Or at least a thank you.
So I stood in front of the door with both hands on my hips, waiting for the compliments to roll in.
"Yeah, you did well."
"About time. So, what should we grab? Ramen? Canned goods?"
"No."
Noh Changhun crushed the head of a zombie that lunged at him, then wiped his hands. He strode over to the shelves and picked up a sandwich. It had been over a month—there was no way it wasn’t spoiled. I wondered what he was up to, but then he peeled off the wrapper and started eating it.
"Y-you crazy bastard!"
"What?"
"That’s gone bad!"
"Listen, Yeji. The zombie virus is everywhere right now, right?"
"Yeah? Yeah."
"What’s the principle behind the spiders’ webs preserving food?"
"Uh… they infect the food and act as a preservative so it doesn’t spoil."
"Then would food left at room temperature be infected or not?"
"Uh……"
Noh Changhun slowly began explaining. As long as it didn’t have a weird texture or look obviously rotten, it was fine to eat. But still, it was definitely spoiled, wasn’t it?
"It won’t give you a stomachache. It’s been a month since the outbreak, so eating food this spoiled isn’t a problem anymore."
"R-really…?"
"Yeah."
Then I couldn’t hold back. I’d taken a beating and used up a ton of strength. I avoided the ones that looked obviously rotten and stuffed everything else into my mouth. Well-packaged sausages, chicken breasts, all of it. I was devouring everything like a starving beast when I felt a disapproving stare from behind.
"You’re eating like a pig. I said grab a little and let’s go. I never said let’s have a full meal."
"I’m not a pig, okay? Where do I look like a pig?"
"If you’re a pig princess, then you’re a pig."
"……Right now I’m an S-rank beauty, so maybe that makes it okay? I can even store stuff in my cleavage."
"Yeah, right now you’re a bitch in heat."
"This fucking guy, I swear—"
"Look at the chamdokchung getting all worked up. The one who farted is the one getting mad now?"
"………Fuck."
Of course the author would be unbeatable in an argument. And since I couldn’t win with strength either, it was even more depressing. Honestly, wasn’t it cheating for a power-type character to be smart too? If he were an intelligence-type, at least I could overpower him and tease him.
"Grab what you need and let’s head out. I’ve got a building in mind. It’s getting dark."
"What floor this time?"
"Fourth-floor beauty salon. Second or third feels a bit risky."
"Got it. Haah, if we could just set up a night watch, we wouldn’t have to climb so high."
"Night watch eats up stamina too. With only two people, we don’t have a choice."
"Yeah, yeah."
It was exhausting to search every building and barricade the doors every single time. Sleeping together because of body heat felt awkward too. Two blankets and two pillows would solve everything, but the cart didn’t have the space. Besides, adding one more pack of food was the right call.
"Hey, Changhun."
"What?"
"Why are you randomly putting stuff on my chest? Clothes? A towel? What is this?"
"It’s because of you."
"Why me?"
Noh Changhun gave me a look that said I was hopeless. Then he started explaining my sleeping habits. He said I treated the person next to me like a body pillow and slept violently, but he could tolerate that much. The problem was that I drooled, so he put unused clothes where I usually drooled.
"If you just sleep separately—"
"You have nightmares. You keep muttering about headsets, Lee Yeji, soldiers, and all that."
"Me? I have nightmares?"
"You might even have sleepwalking issues."
"……Me?"
It sounded ridiculous. I could fall asleep anywhere the moment I lay down—how could I have sleepwalking problems? Nightmares didn’t make sense either. And a headset? Hadn’t I lost that thing a while ago? I was pretty sure I’d given it to Lee Yeji as a present. Along with some of my clothes.
But when I lay down, something felt off. I touched my neck and felt the headset.
"W-what is this?"
"I cut the cord for you at the PC bang, remember?"
"You cut it for me…? This thing?"
"Why can’t you remember?"
I sat up. I crossed my arms and started thinking hard. Something was wrong. Extremely wrong. Sure, my intelligence had dropped. I was slower and dumber than before. But not so much that I’d completely forget about a headset hanging around my neck.
"Hey, Changhun. You said I sleepwalk, right? So… I walk around?"
"Yeah. You wander around looking everywhere, then come straight to where I am."
"Am I looking for you? Consciously?"
"No. You carefully circle the area, touch me, then lie down right next to me."
"For real? Seriously?"
"………Yeah."
The only time that made sense was back at the officetel. I’d said I’d hold out, but those two weeks had been full of ups and downs. Still, nothing that dramatic had happened. There hadn’t been anything during my alone time that would cause PTSD. If it had been the General or the Spider King, maybe. But just plain sleepwalking and nightmares?
"I-I’ll… I’ll sleep over there. There’s a nice fluffy sofa."
"We can just sleep together if you’re okay with it. You sure you’re fine?"
"No, I’ll sleep there."
Noh Changhun started to get up, then lay back down. After watching that, I lay down too. Just in case, I took off the headset and left it on the opposite sofa. I slowly lay down, counted sheep, and fell asleep.
When I woke up, I was using Noh Changhun’s chest as a pillow. The distance between the sofa and the spot where he’d been lying on the floor was pretty far. If I’d only been using his chest, it might have been slightly better. But my ear felt crushed. When I touched it, I found the headset again.
It looked like something was seriously wrong with my mind.