But I Was Serious
I ended up inside a zombie apocalypse novel. But I was serious this time. After all, neither of us could actually kill the other. I had no desire to keep living in this world. There was no way I could risk getting trapped here forever just for the sake of surviving by killing the author. On the other hand, this guy wasn't in great shape either. That was probably why he'd suggested a truce earlier. So I needed to end this conversation before I ended up pinned beneath him and beaten to a pulp. I quickly adjusted my posture and spoke.
“Look, both of us want to escape this world, right?”
“…Right.”
“Exactly, Changhun. We’re in the same boat here. I know I screwed up, but let’s forget all that. Yeah?”
“…”
The author glared at me with bloodshot eyes. I continued in a shrinking voice.
“I’m sorry for making fun of your parents’ names. They both have really cool names…”
“Are you screwing with me right now?”
“No, but…! Wait, no. I’m sorry…”
Noh Changhun’s father was named Noh Tae-woo. His mother was Park Geun-hye. The names were such an eerie coincidence that I had trolled him about it for ages. Whenever I got bored, I would post on the community asking how anyone could name their kid after former presidents. So I really had no defense. I apologized again.
“…Sorry.”
“The fact that you actually mean it is what’s fucking ridiculous.”
“I really am sorry. So are we going to fight again? I don’t want that. You’re bleeding from your side, too.”
“…”
“Let’s pretend none of it happened. Yeah? Let’s work together to survive.”
“…Fine.”
“For real?”
The author gave a slow nod. I hesitated for a second. If I let this bastard go now, would he really not try to kill me? But I quickly reconsidered. I was already exhausted. I had fought the Spider King and then immediately jumped into another battle. It made sense that I was worn out… but this guy still looked like he had some strength left. If I dragged things out any longer, I would lose. Since dying now or later made little difference, I carefully stood up.
Thankfully, the author didn’t throw a punch. He asked if I had any medicine or drinking water, then started doing something on his own. Before long, he had skillfully applied first aid to his wounds and swept the floor with his foot.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s dirty. If we’re going to sit and talk.”
“Oh.”
I read the room, cleared an appropriate space, and sat down. The moment I did, my entire body screamed. Every joint throbbed with sharp pain. My body was howling for food and sleep, but I ignored it. If I were alone it would be one thing, but right now there was a cunning wolf in the room. I had no interest in waking up to find that wolf doing something to me while I was unconscious. Nor did I want to hear him hiss “die” while choking me.
“…”
“…”
Another silence settled over us. Maybe we simply had nothing left to say; we just stared at each other. Both of us looked like absolute disasters. So we both started laughing. The author laughed so hard he had to clutch his wound. I laughed until I nearly choked. We cackled at the sight of each other’s wrecked appearances.
The author stopped laughing first.
“Idiot.”
“You don’t look any better yourself.”
“Truce, right?”
“Truce. Let’s pretend none of it happened and start fresh.”
I held out my hand. The author stared at it for a moment before taking it. But I couldn’t relax just yet. I could see it in his eyes. He was only calling a temporary truce because his body was in bad shape. He still clearly found me repulsive. Yeah, I still found him repulsive too. Sure, it was all my fault, but still. Who the hell tries to kill someone the second they see them?
“First, should we explain our abilities?”
I asked as if I knew nothing. If we were going to make plans, I needed to know what kind of powers the guy in front of me had. That way I could prepare countermeasures later.
“You first.”
“Regeneration.”
“Physical enhancement.”
“…”
“…”
We both knew that information was insufficient. We also both knew the other was scheming something. So I kept a close watch on the author and waited. There had to be more. He wouldn’t have tossed that out so casually. At the very least there would be some protagonist perks or something. Though it would be better if there weren’t.
“Really nothing else?”
I smiled sweetly. If that was all, I had the advantage. That wound on his side. He was injured and could barely move properly. If I rested and recovered a bit, I might actually be able to win. I also had more weapons from the start. No matter how tough someone is, they go down if you beat them enough. Especially with a metal bat and brass knuckles? Yeah, no way they could endure that.
“…I’m not sure you’ll believe me even if I tell you.”
The author laid the bait. But no matter what he said, I was prepared to believe him. The man had entered his own novel, after all. And not in any normal way—he had become a beautiful woman. So I had no choice but to believe him. What else could I do? Refuse to believe and just deal with it?
“This world is a game to me.”
“…?”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
A bead of cold sweat ran down the author’s forehead. He clutched his side and let out a groan.
“There’s a pharmacy nearby. Want me to get some medicine?”
“…Yeah.”
“I don’t know if there’s any left. I used a lot on my bite wound.”
“It’s not a bite, it’s a tear.”
“What were you doing?”
“You don’t need to know.”
I headed up to the pharmacy. Fortunately, despite all the commotion, no zombies had entered the building. The broom had been destroyed, but there were plenty more. I checked every entrance while I was up there, then locked the outer bolt before coming back down with an armful of medicine for torn wounds.
“…”
“What? What is it now?”
“Fucking bitch.”
“Are you picking a fight with the person who brought you medicine?”
The author ground his teeth. His eyes burned with rage, but I hadn’t done anything wrong. Sure, I had gouged out his side. But that was his fault for attacking me first. Who told him to charge in? I had only defended myself. …Though the root cause was still me, but whatever.
“Here.”
The medicines tumbled across the floor. The author examined them for a while and selected a few. Then he suddenly spoke.
“I’m experiencing this world exactly like it’s an adult game.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“There’s a CG room and stuff like that. I can also use points earned from killing zombies to do various things.”
“So there’s a status window too, I assume?”
“Yeah. That too. Convenience features as well.”
“But dude, if there’s a points shop, shouldn’t you have bought bullets for that revolver before coming?”
“…”
Just point the gun at my head. Hey, Park Jung-heum. If you had, I would have been trembling. No, I would have called you Master. But the gun this guy pointed was empty, and right now my physical condition was slightly better. If you mess around with an empty gun and get caught, you deserve to die. What else is there to say?
My words must have struck home; the author’s face flushed beautifully. But at the very end, he smirked in a way that felt ominous. For a second I wondered if he really did have a gun. But I quickly shook the thought away. Korea doesn’t allow civilian gun ownership. To get one, you’d have to raid a police station or military base. Even at a police station, they’re kept in safes. Unless this guy knew the password, it would be nearly impossible. Military bases would be the same. Guns are strictly guarded, and there are lots of people there. Lots of people means lots of zombies. Lots of zombies means lots of variants. Lots of variants means lots of high-level variants. Those three truths don’t change, so military bases wouldn’t be easy to raid.
That left one hypothesis.
“You stole a police gun and there were no bullets, huh.”
“…”
“Bullets must be too expensive to buy with points.”
“…”
“With that body, you probably can’t even farm points properly, Author-nim.”
The author gritted his teeth again. The look on his face that said he really wanted to beat me to death felt satisfying. Yeah, who told you to stupidly charge in with your body first?
“But I do have basic points.”
“Basic points? How am I supposed to believe that?”
“There are plenty of things you can buy in the points shop.”
“Prove the convenience features first.”
“…”
⊳ Signal Transmission: ENABLED
⊳ Mutual Communication: ENABLED (by consent)
⊳ Persistent until death of user
A voice-chat-like window appeared in the corner of my vision. But it seemed unusable for now; no matter how much I tapped or poked at it, nothing changed.
“As long as I don’t die, that window won’t disappear either.”
“Oh…”
“I can send signals, and we can talk by mutual agreement.”
“Okay, I’ll believe half of it.”
“…And the other half?”
“Pull something out from that points shop. Huh? Show me something and I’ll believe you.”
It felt a little like highway robbery, but there was no helping it. Since we had decided to cooperate, we needed to reveal everything we had.
“I want to wash up right now… Any way to make that happen?”
“…I have one ten-minute shower room voucher.”
“Good. You use five minutes first. I’ll use the remaining five.”
“…”
“Come on, why? I’m being considerate here.”
I avoided his eyes. No matter what, it was something he would be summoning. If I went in first and something went wrong, it would be disastrous. It was safer to watch him use it first. Fortunately, the author properly summoned the shower room, finished washing in three minutes, and came back out roughly dressed.