Department Store Detour
I ended up inside a zombie apocalypse novel. Noh Changhun looked a little wary, but I strode right in without hesitation. There was no reason to hesitate. No matter what came up, I could just smash through it. I barely bothered to stay alert even when I was alone, so with Noh Changhun here there was even less need. Besides, the zombies in this place were all weak anyway.
“Looks like they cleared it out because they didn’t need it. Right?”
“That’s what I was thinking. If even one entrance had been left open it might’ve been different, but everything here was sealed tight.”
“Hah. Thought so.”
After that, the mood quickly turned into something closer to shopping. The zombies—or rather, what used to be zombies—were already sprawled across the floor. In a world where getting bitten turned you into one of them, we might’ve had to stay tense, but since bites didn’t affect us, we could afford this much ease. I recovered from bites almost instantly, and zombie teeth barely broke my skin. Noh Changhun could just flex and make himself impossible to bite. With nothing but regular zombies around, there was no need to worry about ambushes.
“Aw, I don’t see any shorts.”
“Just wear whatever fits.”
“I hate long pants. I need my arms and legs out.”
“Aren’t you cold?”
“If I got cold, I’d just put more clothes on, wouldn’t I? I already gave my old clothes to Lee Yeji anyway.”
“Ah, those.”
Finding clothes was fine, but there were a few problems. When the outbreak hit, people and zombies had gotten tangled together, so most of the displayed clothes were ruined. They were soaked in blood or some other foul liquid and reeked. I’d expected that much, though. The storage room where they kept the extra stock was still intact, so we could just pick through the clean ones there. The trouble was that the outbreak had started in autumn, which meant there were almost no summer clothes left. A few pieces existed, but hardly anything that would actually fit me. I’d hoped for at least five or six options, but it looked like I’d be lucky to get three or four. At this rate I was going to end up like some one-outfit gentleman, wearing the same thing over and over. Just in case, I grabbed a few pairs of long pants too. I could always cut them into shorts later.
“Wish we had someone who’s good at this stuff.”
“There’s a guy named Gwangil. Private. He’s pretty handy with things like that.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. This is because of your trauma, right? We can just ask him to alter them.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t bother him. Feels weird asking for free work.”
“Then bring him a few extra outfits. He was looking for fabric to practice on anyway.”
“Aha.”
“By the way, why are you staring at me?”
I’d thought I brought a bag, but I hadn’t. We needed something to carry everything in, and Noh Changhun happened to have one on his back. I’d been staring at him to get him to open it when something flashed in front of my eyes.
“Ow!”
“There are paper bags right over there.”
“Does that mean you have to flick my forehead?!”
“Just pay attention.”
“Tch.”
“I’ll still carry the bag for you, though.”
The number of paper bags quickly multiplied thanks to my suggestion that we take as many clothes as we could while we were here. Honestly, I’d expected him to refuse, so it was a relief when he agreed. There was no guarantee we’d find another clothing store like this, and more than anything, it was a hassle. I didn’t want to wander around just for clothes when we weren’t even short on food or water.
“Hey. Find the underwear section.”
“…Suddenly?”
“Of course. When else are we going to look?”
“You’ve got a point, but…”
“What? Getting turned on?”
“You little shit.”
“Whoa!”
A zombie that had been hiding between the racks lunged out. Noh Changhun kicked it down and finished it off. His expression had hardened a little, like he was annoyed. Not truly angry, just irritated. Probably because I’d started spouting nonsense again. We’d been traveling together long enough that he should’ve been used to it by now, but the way he always reacted differently was kind of cute. Still, his actions didn’t match his face—he dutifully led the way to the underwear section, taking out any zombies we passed and shoving the bodies aside so they wouldn’t get in the way. Just like before, we found another storage room. All we had to do now was grab the clean underwear and head back.
“…I don’t know my measurements. What do I do?”
“Idiot.”
“Why?! Do you remember all your own sizes?!”
“Unless someone buys your clothes for you every single time, you at least check once when you go shopping, don’t you?”
“…”
I couldn’t exactly admit that my mom had always bought my clothes for me, or that I’d barely ever gone shopping myself. So I had to steer the conversation toward the fact that my body had changed.
“I-I mean, my body changed. So it’s possible I wouldn’t know.”
“How long has it been?”
“About… two months…?”
“So you’re saying you haven’t bought any clothes in two months?”
“W-well, not exactly.”
“You really have zero survival skills.”
“I do too! If I didn’t, how would I have made it this far?!”
Instead of answering, he just gave me a cold look. I could beat him in a fight now, but I still lost every verbal spar, and that pissed me off. Not that I could do anything about it with force—he’d definitely say something if I tried. What was that phrase again? Attacking the messenger because you’re losing the argument? So I just forced a smile and held it in.
“Ehh.”
“Where are you going? It’s over there.”
“I have to go because I don’t know my size.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
An awkward silence fell. We clearly weren’t on the same page.
“Seriously, are you an idiot? The sizes are written on the clothes.”
“Oh.”
“There’s a fitting room right there.”
“Right.”
“Just try them on, check the size, and take what fits. Why were you trying to leave?”
“…Oh!”
“Idiot.”
Luckily the fitting room was clean. I went in, took off my clothes, checked the sizes, and came back out. Noh Changhun was giving me that same exasperated look again. Honestly, it wasn’t that weird for someone to miss something so obvious. He always made that face like I was hopeless. Did he think he never showed that side of himself?
“Don’t curse at me in your head.”
“I didn’t.”
“Your face says everything. That smug little grin.”
“I wasn’t grinning.”
“So what size are you?”
“W-why do you want to know…? I could tell you… if you really want.”
“Huh?”
Noh Changhun looked genuinely flustered, like he hadn’t expected that reaction at all. So I immediately punched him in the solar plexus. What was I supposed to do when he asked and then made that face? Especially when he claimed he was just joking and hadn’t expected an answer?
“How can a person—! There’s a limit to how far you can take a joke!”
“I was just going to tease you depending on how you reacted.”
“…What kind of reaction were you hoping for?”
“I figured you’d either blurt it out without thinking or get all self-conscious about it.”
“So you didn’t expect me to get this embarrassed?”
“Yeah.”
“You bastard!”
Noh Changhun stumbled backward after another punch to the chest. That jerk had flexed his muscles to block it again. He probably hadn’t even felt much. What a cheap move. I was the only one whose fist hurt. Still, venting a little had put me in a better mood.
“C to D, you asshole. Hah, bet none of your ex-girlfriends were this big, huh?”
“I didn’t have a girlfriend.”
“Oh. Hang in there, then.”
“You think I expected to get one just because I got sucked into a novel?”
“You think I expected to get a boyfriend just because I got sucked into a novel, you son of a bitch?”
“Pfft…”
“Anyway, I won’t have to feel self-conscious when we get out. I already said I’m going out looking like this.”
“Yeah.”
“White hair or not, a D-cup beauty. People won’t be able to take their eyes off me.”
“…Are you actually insane? Did you lose it while I wasn’t looking?”
“Of course not! Can’t I even joke around?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Ugh, whatever.”
Just then, a zombie wandered toward us, completely oblivious. I grabbed a nearby pole, chucked it at the thing, and killed it before continuing to look for decent clothes. I picked out underwear bottoms in relatively normal colors—nothing red. Just white and similar shades went into the paper bag. For sports bras, I grabbed only black without a second thought. Once everything was packed away, the department store finally came into proper view. It was a circular building with a hollow center, and from the railing I could see the floors below.
“Whoa.”
There were way more than one or two zombies on each level. And they were all staring up at us. Combined with the light pouring in through the glass walls, the atmosphere was intense. It was the kind of scene that would make a horror movie look tame. Of course, just looking wasn’t scary. A few zombies even leaned too far over the railing and fell.
“Atmosphere’s killer, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“There was a movie like this once, wasn’t there?”
Any other survivor would’ve been terrified and run. But with Noh Changhun and me together, there was no reason to be scared. I’d already taken down thousands of regular zombies before. Why would this handful intimidate me? Noh Changhun seemed to agree—he stood there calmly holding the paper bags. Though he was looking somewhere specific.
“Hey, Yeji.”
“Yeah?”
“There’s a jewelry store over there.”
“Jewelry store? Oh, you’re right.”
I’d known department stores had jewelry sections, but I hadn’t expected one here. There was an accessories corner nearby too, so there was no reason to skip it. We weren’t going to take everything—just a couple of rings. Nothing to feel guilty about.