The Author and I Are Basically Married Now
I ended up inside a zombie apocalypse novel. That was the thought running through my head as I nibbled lightly on my thumbnail. At the very least, I figured I needed to drive a solid wedge in. Kang Siwoo wasn't going to leave me alone going forward. It was obvious he'd drag me around with him every single day and put me to work. Naturally, that meant I'd end up appealing to him far more than any of the other heroines. The white-haired, ditzy beauty heroine who'd already gotten a flag planted on her for being pretty. So yeah, I needed to mark my territory so thoroughly that no one else could even think about touching me. The best way was to eliminate any room for misunderstanding. There weren't just one or two women around Kang Siwoo, after all. I had zero interest in becoming the public enemy of that massive harem and getting hated on by everyone. I just wanted to survive. If I'd actually liked Kang Siwoo, I wouldn't even feel this wronged. But since I didn't like anyone, it felt incredibly unfair. All I wanted was to get the hell out of this world. Sure, it was my own fault and I deserved it, but still. Who the hell would want to survive in a place like this? The second I got out, I'd take Noh Changhun's money and wash my hands of the whole thing.
"Your face looks hilarious right now."
"What."
"You look like you're thinking 'fuck this.'"
"Fuck..."
Noh Changhun clutched his stomach and burst out laughing, wheezing like an idiot.
"Ah, man. If this were still a novel, I'd be pushing this scene so hard."
"...Shut up."
"A ditzy white-haired red-eyed heroine? Oh, I can't pass this up."
"...I said shut up."
"I even pulled a few illustrations. What? I wrote tens of thousands of characters just for the sex scenes."
"You wanna fight?"
I raised my fist, then carefully lowered it. If I hit him, the bastard would just tense his muscles and block it anyway. My hand would be the only thing that ended up hurting. Better to stick to a verbal beatdown.
"...I'm going to put a ring on it so there are no loose ends later. Just so you know."
"A ring?"
"Yeah. On your left ring finger. I'll rob a jewelry store, so just sit tight and wash your hands."
"What, you're saying no one will touch a married woman?"
"You can go have a catfight if you want! I'm too anxious to even eat!"
"But."
"Hm?"
Noh Changhun suddenly turned serious.
"Wouldn't a widow be fine too?"
"You son of a bitch!"
This time I really couldn't hold back and threw a punch. What? A widow? Here I was, living in constant anxiety trying not to get politically screwed over, and this asshole was standing in front of me talking about turning heroines into widows or whatever. Did he really think he wouldn't get hit?
But Noh Changhun's reaction was weird. His whole body suddenly flushed red, and he was breathing hard like he'd been startled.
"Hey, hey. You okay?"
"No, that..."
"See? Who told you to mess with people? Let me see, did it bruise?"
"Why did you get so strong...?"
"Is that what matters right now!?"
The spot I'd hit had a bruise. And not just any bruise—a dark, nasty one. Seeing it made anger flare up so strongly I couldn't contain it. Part of me wanted to chew him out more, but first I needed to put something on it. Thankfully it didn't look like anything was broken.
"I don't have any medicine... Should I ask the soldiers...?"
"Hey."
"Ugh, this is what happens when you piss people off for no reason..."
"No, why are you suddenly like this."
"It's your fault! Your fault! Good job, well done! Teasing someone and ending up with a bruise on your chest..."
"I was about to say it'll heal soon so it's fine."
"Ah."
Just like Noh Changhun said, the bruise disappeared not long after. The tension drained out of me all at once and I felt my strength leave my body. I was already starting to regret coming all this way just to deal with this idiot. I kind of wanted to hit him a few more times, but I held back. He still seemed to have some monstrous strength left. If I wasn't careful, I might actually kill him. I could tell instinctively. This guy's body's durability was way lower than mine. I had no idea how a muscular adult man could be less tough than me, but if he was weaker than even my normal self, that was a problem. I should probably feed him some tonic or make him hunt zombies so he wouldn't die on me.
He and I were basically bound by fate at this point. Anyway, I wasn't going to die easily. So it was best to keep this bastard alive by any means necessary. Even if the novel reached its ending, I wouldn't be able to return to the original world without him.
"Fuck."
"Huh."
A strange atmosphere seemed to settle over us, and I was suddenly hit with a wave of self-loathing. I ended up covering my face with my hands and spacing out for a while. Wait. Had I just done something that sounded exactly like a heroine would? It felt like I'd created this tender, affectionate mood... "I'll rob a jewelry store, so just wash your hands and wait"? No, that...
"Can I use that line in my next work?"
"..."
"I'll rob a jewelry store, so just wash your hands and wait for me."
"Lee Yeji dropkiiiiick!"
This time I really couldn't hold back. I put just a little strength into it and charged straight at him. Of course, it was just a flailing imitation of a dropkick, so Noh Changhun didn't get sent flying and roll across the floor. I figured he'd dodge at the right moment and I'd land safely, but...
"..."
"What."
"No..."
I hadn't expected him to dodge and then catch me in a princess carry. And the way he did it so naturally, like he was completely used to holding people, made it even more embarrassing. I had no idea what he was thinking, which made it worse. My thoughts got tangled in an instant, then my mind went completely blank. So I just stayed still in his arms. We were already heading back toward the soldiers like that when I finally came to my senses.
"Huh?!"
"Hey!"
Noh Changhun called out in panic, but I ignored him. I quickly fixed my posture like nothing had happened, but it was already too late. The way everyone was looking at me felt off. They were all clearly in their early to mid-twenties, yet they were smiling with this warm, satisfied expression. You know the kind of smile middle-aged men in their fifties or sixties make. That subtle smile that says, "Ah, he's finally getting married and becoming a proper person." And then one of the jokers started clapping and saying "Congratulations on your marriage, Second Lieutenant Noh!" which made it ten times more embarrassing.
"The jewelry store is over there, sister-in-law."
"Ack! Ack! Aaaaaack!"
"These bastards. They were listening to everything."
I wanted to die. I really wanted to die. The shame was unbearable. But then a thought suddenly hit me. We'd talked a bit about the novel earlier. If they'd overheard that, wouldn't it be a problem? Fortunately, that question was answered quickly. Noh Changhun whispered the explanation in my ear. Apparently, none of them knew that this world was inside a novel. No, it was more like they couldn't even perceive the concept itself. It felt a little suspicious, but when Noh Changhun confidently declared that he'd been gathering information the whole time instead of just sitting around, I let it go. Yeah, while I'd been busting my ass, he'd probably been working hard on intel gathering too.
"But Changhun. Can soldiers just rob a jewelry store?"
"If the owner turned into a zombie, sure."
"That's such a vague condition."
"Survivors can't really make rights claims anyway, so we just conveniently ignore it."
"I see."
"As long as there's no theft within the community, it's fine."
"Got it. This big sister will get you some pure gold."
At this point I just gave up and started gathering my things. I patted Noh Changhun's leg and told him to lead the way. We'd said we needed to go see Captain Han Daewi, so it was best to move quickly. That way we could come up with a plan and select personnel. For a while I watched with a satisfied smile as Noh Changhun got teased, then we headed off somewhere else together.
"By the way, where are we going?"
"The secondary defense line."
"I know it's the secondary defense line, but where is that?"
"There's a high school near BEXCO. That's the place."
"Ah, right."
Since we were both on bicycles, it didn't take long. And since Noh Changhun knew the way, we reached the high school in just a few minutes. There were a ton of people at the high school. They'd called it a secondary defense line, but it seemed to also function as a place to protect civilians. That made sense. Escorting people to a safe location was a big job in itself, so they'd probably set up a base here for the time being.
"I was right, wasn't I?"
"Yeah. The tertiary defense line isn't just a place for evacuation like this."
"Huh?"
"What did you think it was, then?"
"I just thought it was people gathering to block zombies. I never thought about it beyond that."
"That's technically correct, but it can't work that way."
After listening to his explanation, I roughly understood. Unlike normal zombies, the zombies in this world kept increasing in number. So it wasn't enough for a small number of people to just deal with them. Even if the people who knew how to fight killed all the current zombies, that wasn't the end. Since more zombies would keep appearing, everyone had no choice but to keep fighting until every last one was dead. In this situation, a large number of strong people was far more advantageous than a small number of overwhelmingly powerful ones. That's why they needed a place where people could hunt zombies relatively safely and build up experience. The defense line concept Noh Changhun had proposed was something like a school. I wasn't sure if "school" was the right word, but it sounded plausible. Since the military was involved, they were used to organizing schedules like this, so everything ran smoothly. Our campus situation was completely different and it would be hard to apply the same system, so I didn't pay much attention to that part. Instead, I listened carefully to the talk about new variants. I already knew about the variants, but I didn't know whether they'd appeared yet or not.
While chatting like that, we entered the building and soon spotted a familiar face.
"You've arrived, Second Lieutenant Noh."
"Captain!"
"Lee... Yeji?"
When I waved and walked over, Captain Han Daewi's face filled with shock. But he quickly realized it was me and reached out his hand in greeting. And that wasn't the only welcome face. From the second floor, the parkour dad—Lee Yeji's father—peeked out with a bright smile and hurriedly came down the stairs.