The Fragile Boundary of Self
"Look at this? Shy again, are we?" A mischievous smile played on Mitchell's lips. The elf, not wearing a single stitch of clothing, giggled as she approached me. "Hey, clothes! Put some clothes on first. And dry yourself off. You're dripping water all over the floor."
"Eh, what's the big deal?" A wave of hot, humid air radiated from Mitchell, who had just finished her shower. I hurriedly turned my gaze away and stood up from the bed. I had to get out of here. There was nowhere to look. The current situation was far too disadvantageous for me.
"Kid, where are you going?"
"I'm getting dressed. I'll be back later."
"Just stay—you've already seen everything, so why now—"
I felt Mitchell's rough hand grab my shoulder. Even with my eyes closed, Mitchell's naked form shimmered vividly before me. Her white, smooth skin without a single stray hair. The clearly defined 11-shaped abs. And the pair of luscious breasts that swayed naturally, free from the cumbersome pressure of clothing—
"Flora, look at her face. It's turning red again. This is seriously funny." Mitchell's hearty laughter echoed. "The kid has a cute side the more you look at her."
"Ugh, get away from me."
"Oh? Now you're touching me openly?"
Sway. My fingertips, which I had swung blindly while my eyes were closed, brushed against something soft. It was warm, cozy, and felt like something I could touch forever without getting bored. Mitchell and Flora burst into laughter.
"Even if you say that, Estelle-ssi, you don't seem to hate it."
"Right? You pretend to be shy, but you seem to secretly enjoy it. Hey, are you really a girl? Is it just the outer shell that's a girl, while the core is something else?"
Ahem. Mitchell's careless jab pierced my heart. Of course, Mitchell didn't know what she was talking about, but still.
"This won't do. We need to personally educate our lecherous party leader. Flora, help me."
"What are you going to do?"
"Let's drag her to the bathroom. If we wash her clean from head to toe with warm water, this kid's lewd heart will be purified."
"That sounds plausible."
Mitchell is one thing, but Flora, are you going to torment me too? You were the only one I trusted...
Before I could even find a chance to resist, twenty fingers swarmed over my body all at once. This was genuinely dangerous. They weren't just talking. These girls were serious about stripping me. They were determined to bathe me, too. I thrashed my body violently, but Mitchell had already grabbed me with a firm, rough grip.
"Flora, you come in too."
"Okay—but didn't you just wash, Mitchell-ssi?"
"I'll just wash again."
The two girls chatted happily as they unraveled my clothes.
"...Stop it."
I tried to get angry, but contrary to my intentions, only a weak, powerless voice spilled out.
"What?"
"I kept telling you to stop..."
It was happening again. Just like in the Polluted Waste Deposit, this frail, girl-like side of me was popping out regardless of my will. This was a situation where I should have shouted, "Get lost, you fucking bitches." Why couldn't I speak properly? Why was I tearing up instead of spewing thick profanity?
"...Kid, you're not crying, are you?"
Mitchell slightly loosened her grip on me. The change was proceeding quietly, and surely. As much as I was becoming accustomed to Estelle's body, Estelle's girlish sensibilities must have been eroding my mind. It was useless to deny it. This made it certain.
'I'm really becoming a girl.'
I thought this as I wiped the slight tears from the corners of my eyes with my fingertips. It was absurd, but it was a plausible occurrence. Humans are animals governed by biological hormones. All the actions of crying, laughing, feeling joy, and getting angry are determined by hormones. Lovers in love talk romantically about love at first sight or destiny, but what actually makes humans go wild is not Cupid's arrow, but serotonin.
'My god.'
I thought I was a man. I thought that even if my appearance changed, my heart would remain the same. But my body betrayed that belief of mine in an absurd way. Look at me now, sitting on the bed with disheveled clothes, looking sullen. Who would think I'm a man? I felt a chill. It might not be long before I become a girl not just on the outside, but on the inside as well.
"Oh, seriously, fuck."
I spat out the profanity roughly on purpose. As if to deny my frail self. At the same time, I used my ability. 「Ability Activation」. I summoned the power stored in my Phylactery and blew Mitchell away with high-output Telekinesis.
-50 HP
Thud— Mitchell, eyes wide, was slammed into the wall without even being able to resist.
"Ugh— Hey, st, stop! It really hurts! Cough—"
Mitchell, pinned against the wall, gasped for air and coughed repeatedly.
"I told you to stop."
"Okay— just let me go for a second—"
"Huh? I told you to stop. I told you to stop, didn't I?"
"I-I'm sorry."
Only when I released the Telekinesis did Mitchell let out a long breath. If I had wanted to, I could have shattered the wall and thrown her outside entirely. I only let her off this easily because she was my party member.
"Get out, all of you."
"B-but kid— this is my room..."
"Are you not leaving?"
Mitchell looked like she had something to say, but perhaps overwhelmed by my aura, she put on her clothes and left the room. Flora also checked my face with a worried look before following Mitchell out.
"Phew."
After venting my intense emotions, a deep sense of exhaustion followed. I already knew it myself. I wasn't just angry because of Mitchell's prank. What I was truly afraid of was the change that had begun regardless of my will.
"This is driving me crazy."
I scratched my head vigorously. Would the moment eventually come where I have no choice but to accept the change? Would it be easier if I did? If I forgot my past self and accepted this new appearance. Suddenly, my face reflected in the mirror caught my eye. A girl lost in melancholy was looking back at me from the mirror.
"I admit, that was a bit much. Right?"
"Yes."
"But why are you still doing that since a while ago?"
In the lounge of Mitchell's quarters. Flora was kneeling demurely on a chair, holding both arms up.
"I'm being punished."
Flora replied with a sullen expression. Mitchell chuckled.
"Will that make her feel any better? No one's watching, so stop putting on a show and just relax."
"Still."
Flora sighed. "I think I thought about it wrong."
"What?"
"I thought I had gotten a little closer to Estelle-ssi. I mistook it for us breaking down the walls of our hearts while hanging out without reserve."
"The walls... of the heart?"
Mitchell asked back. She wanted to dismiss it as a stupid thought, but Estelle's sensitive reaction just moments ago was hard to brush off lightly. Despite being of the same gender, the excessive resistance shown toward exposure. The reaction of even showing tears in her disgust. Mitchell swallowed her words. She, too, had a vague inkling.
"Has she... ever had a bad experience before?"
"I don't know that much. What's certain is that we should have been more careful with Estelle-ssi."
"Ugh..."
Mitchell pouted her lips like a duck and groaned. Soon, she climbed onto the chair Flora was sitting on.
"Move over a little."
"Yes?"
"Let me do this for a bit too."
Mitchell stretched her arms above her head. "I shouldn't play pranks so carelessly."
"That's true."
The two young ladies reflected on their actions while standing in punishment like that for a while, even though no one told them to.
"That aside, she was really strong."
Mitchell said, rubbing her collarbone. She didn't show it, but her whole body ached. The impact of being pinned by Estelle's Telekinesis just a moment ago still lingered vividly in her body.
"It didn't even seem like she was using her full power. She was definitely controlling her strength even in that moment. How cheeky... no, is it not cheeky?"
"She's kind. She was angry to the point of exploding, but she still cared enough not to let Mitchell-ssi get too hurt."
"Tsk."
Mitchell didn't argue with Flora's words. Even Mitchell thought so. 'Come to think of it, she was amazing in the last hunt, too, that girl.' The image of the kid rushing forward clutching swords of cold ice came to mind. Estelle's skill shown in actual combat far exceeded Mitchell's expectations.
'If we really fought in earnest, wouldn't I lose?'
Mitchell tilted her head.
A while later. Since they didn't return even after I waited, I went out and ran into the two of them in the lounge.
"What are you two doing?"
Flora was standing in punishment with both arms raised alone, and Mitchell was dozing off next to her.
"Why are you here instead of coming in?"
"You told us to get lost, so I was waiting outside."
"That was just a figure of speech; I didn't mean for you to stay out all day. It's not even my room to begin with."
An awkward atmosphere hung in the lounge. The raging emotions had subsided, but it wasn't the same as usual. As they were choosing their words in an unnatural silence—
"Oh, that—we were just resting for a moment—I had been holding my arms up until just a moment ago too. Flora, am I right?"
"...Did I ever tell you to stand in punishment? Why are you acting so unlike yourself?"
"Um—"
Mitchell trailed off, then cast her gaze toward my feet and said,
"I'm sorry about earlier. I went a bit too far. I didn't know you would hate it that much."
Mitchell tentatively held out her hand. I stared at that hand for a moment. Seeing the boisterous elf watching my reaction and apologizing first felt surreal.
Slap— I grabbed Mitchell's palm hard, as if striking it.
"If you know, that's enough."
Only then did Mitchell smile bashfully.
"I'm sorry—I won't do it again. Okay?"
"No more skinship without permission from now on. If you do it again, I really won't forgive you that time."
"Yes, yes—I'll keep that in mind."
As Mitchell smiled, Flora seemed relieved and lowered her raised hands.
"Great."
Mitchell nodded. "To cheer the kid up, I'm treating everyone today. Follow me!"
"Yes? Mitchell-ssi, where are you going?"
"Don't ask, just follow. I know a good place."
Something feels suspicious. If it's a place Mitchell would find fun, the destination is obvious.
"You can look forward to it. Tonight, let's let loose and have a fun time together."
Mitchell put her arms around Flora and me, grinning widely.