I'm Back Again
"Mmm..."
Last night I'd gone to the department store with Bora and Haru, and come home with a brand-new pair of dinosaur pajamas and a haul of Little Magician Rumi merch.
But when I woke this morning, all of it struck me as hopelessly childish. Only yesterday I'd been over the moon to own any of it, and yet...
Maybe it was the adult body. Looking at toys that could draw nothing but a laugh out of me now, I felt a pointless stab of self-disgust. Why had I ever staked my life on junk like this? The old me seemed to have done nothing but things I couldn't begin to understand. I got up, found a cardboard box, and started dropping into it everything that now felt childish—the Little Magician Rumi figures, the magic wand, all of it.
I meant to toss in the dinosaur pajamas and the plushies too, but there wasn't room. Those two could wait until tomorrow. This box was going out first. Just looking at it dragged the old me back into my head, and I wanted it gone from my sight as fast as possible.
The room had been packed with Rumi. Once she vanished from in front of me, a measure of peace settled over my chest. I picked up the box and marched straight for the office. My feet had grown, so I had to go in slippers instead of my usual shoes.
"Hana...?"
Haru was in the office, staring at something. The moment I appeared she snapped her laptop shut, which meant she'd been goofing off again. But I was an adult now. I could forgive her.
"Haru, throw this out for me."
I held the box out as I said it. Things I was too embarrassed to keep using. The second I remembered my shameful past—waving that magic wand and bouncing all over the bed—I wanted them gone so badly I could taste it.
Haru, apparently, did not share the feeling. She pulled the things out one by one, head tilting.
"Didn't you beg us to buy all of this? This one! Yesterday at the department store you were hanging off my clothes, telling me you had to have it."
Ack!
Dragging out yesterday's humiliating history. I felt my face go red and shook my head hard from side to side.
"I think I had it all wrong back then!"
"You did...?"
Haru said it like she couldn't make sense of me at all. I wanted to tell her I was a proper adult now, but she still seemed to see me as a little kid.
"Haru, I'm a grown-up now. A grown-up! Toys little kids go crazy for—I have to graduate from those."
"I mean, sure...? But are you really certain you won't regret it, Hana?"
She asked me outright. Of course I wouldn't. They were limited-edition goods, yes, but I couldn't even picture myself swinging them around anymore. As of yesterday, I had graduated from toys like these.
"Yeah! I'm absolutely sure I won't regret it!"
I said it so firmly that Haru took the box without much argument. I could have snuck out and dumped it in the yard behind the lab without her permission, but the stuff was far too conspicuous. I was the only person at the institute who liked Rumi. If it turned up in the trash, everyone would know exactly who had thrown it away. Getting permission first put my mind at ease.
Haru studied the box with a doubtful look.
"But... the garbage truck comes today. You're really sure this is okay?"
Honestly, she was treating me like such a little kid. Since she kept asking, I answered flatly.
"Yeah. Obviously."
I said it with my chin up. I was never going to regret a thing. Because I was an adult.
Back in my room, I turned on the computer. For some reason I had a feeling the games would go well today. My head was spinning clean and fast, and it finally felt like I'd found my real self again.
HanaBoraHaru has started a broadcast!
I flipped the stream on like always, and the regulars poured into my room. It hadn't even been ten minutes, and already forty viewers were in.
"Hoo..."
Today, I really was different. It was time to show the viewers the new me. I queued up with my chest out. There was always a chance someone was sniping my games, so I hid the screen while I locked in.
And a few dozen minutes later...
"Heheh."
I couldn't hide how pleased I was. All day the feeling kept bursting up that something in me had changed. Call after call I would never have made before—it was like the limiter on my brain had come off.
By the end of it I'd gone ten wins and one loss. A ninety percent win rate at this tier. I'd never done anything like it, and my heart wouldn't stop pounding. Keep this up a little longer and Grandmaster really was within reach.
The viewers who were supposed to be roasting me left chats that sounded genuinely awed. Even I was shocked at how much I'd changed. How much more shocked must the people watching have been?
"Hana! Time for dinner!"
At Haru's voice from outside, I shut the computer off. I hadn't gotten much sunlight at lunch, and my stomach was growling for it.
"Coming!"
What was on the menu tonight? Our company cafeteria cooked something different every day, and people loved it for that. I was pretty sure it had been nothing but pork cutlet when I first arrived... From what I'd heard, the lab's finances had gotten comfortable lately, and they'd started putting real effort into employee welfare.
Thank goodness. I pulled on my shoes and went pattering off toward Haru. There was no resisting a good meal.
"Urgh..."
I sat on the bed with the face of someone who'd eaten herself sick, while Haru patted my back beside me.
"I knew it the second you started piling it on! Classic Hana."
"Hiiing..."
Dinner had been an absurdly good hamburger steak, and I'd overdone it. It felt like nearly twice what I usually ate. My old body had been short and stubby; I filled up without eating much at all. This one was bigger, so I figured I could handle a little more—and that was how the disaster happened.
After a few dozen minutes of back-patting I started to feel all right. On top of that I chugged cold water, and my stomach slid smoothly back into place. Haru's hands really were healing hands.
"Feeling a little better?"
"Yeah. Your hands are magic."
"Then get to bed early~"
With that, Haru turned off the light and left. It was ten at night, and my eyes were already closing on their own. Even with a bigger body, the night was hard to fight. I happily gave myself over to the sleep rushing in.
"Up and at 'em!"
Another vigorous day. I couldn't contain a body that wanted to bounce right off the mattress, so I sprang up with a shout. My condition had been awful as recently as yesterday. Right now, I was invincible.
I climbed down to wash up. But today a strange déjà vu settled over me, the feeling of having lived this once already. It felt like there was nothing on me at all. The clothes had gotten huge, and they were sliding off.
"Huh?"
I looked down at myself and understood why. I was back in my old body. The moment I confirmed it, I called for Haru in the office. If my body changed, she was the first person I was supposed to call.
"Hana?"
Haru opened the door, found the smaller me, and blurted it out in a start.
"Clothes! You need to put clothes on!"
Oh! I was naked. Everything I'd worn yesterday was too big and had slid right off. The shed heap of it was piled on the bed. Haru went into the room where my clothes were and came back with an armful—a yellow hoodie that made me think of a baby chick.
I let myself be handled. A few minutes later, Haru's hands had turned me into a yellow chick.
"Ta-da!"
"Thank goodness you're back, Hana."
She said it while stroking my hair. Just as she said, my body getting bigger seemed to have been temporary. But then a memory flashed through my head.
"Haru!"
"Hm? What's wrong, Hana?"
I couldn't get my body, shaking with terror, under control as I asked her.
"Did you throw out the box I gave you yesterday?"
"Yeah. You asked me to, remember? I gave it to Bora and told her to toss it."
The moment I heard that, it felt like my world was caving in. Those were goods I'd scraped together with everything I had!
But I was the one who had thrown them away. There was no one else to blame. It was entirely my fault.
"Waaah!!!"
I couldn't hold it in. I collapsed face-down on the floor and burst into tears. The thought of never seeing the Rumi I'd gathered one precious piece at a time—my sobbing wouldn't stop.