The Drinking Elf
"Mnya... mnya..."
Bora sat with Hana gathered in her arms. Every lunch hour, Hana liked to nap while the sunlight fell over her, and it was certainly odd that sleep could find her under light this dazzling.
Now and then she murmured in her sleep, and sometimes the words came out in that old, unknowable language she used to speak.
"I want to go home..."
The hand stroking Hana's hair went still. Bora had no idea where the girl's home was, but to hear her say it like that, hadn't it been some warm, cozy place?
How she had fallen through a gate, Bora couldn't begin to guess. It was an enormous mercy they'd found her quickly inside, before some other monster could get to her. Hana's physical ability amounted to next to nothing; even a goblin feeble enough to catch by hand would have put her life in danger.
"I... I want a drink, too..."
Bora's hand stopped again. She had never bought Hana anything like alcohol, so why on earth—? Surely the department head hadn't been drinking right in front of her.
Considering the girl's age, liquor was far too soon. On the outside, she was an elementary schooler through and through.
Wondering who could have let Hana see a drink, Bora went back to stroking her hair. Holding her close brought a scent of clear, fresh air that left Bora feeling refreshed—like breathing after a hundred throat lozenges, if she had to name it. Time slipped away unnoticed as she held Hana and kept on petting her.
"Uuugh..."
It felt as if I'd been having some sweet dream. A quick nap had run a little long, and because it was winter the sun was already sinking outside.
"Aaaah!"
I put my whole body into a stretch and flung it wide. My stubby little legs shot toward the ceiling. I wished they'd grow longer. They paid their owner's heart no mind, and my height refused to budge.
"Hmph!"
I thumped my blameless knees with my fists. Stimulate the growth plates like this, and maybe I'd get taller?
As if it were routine, I climbed out of bed and turned on the computer. My daily life, I could fairly say, was extremely repetitive. Wake up, study, then cool my head at the computer. That was all of it. If I got hungry along the way I went to the cafeteria, and I expected to keep living like this until I started elementary school next year. I was, in every sense, an unemployed layabout with no job to my name.
And here I was, a body that had already finished military service, heading back to elementary school. If that wasn't a regressor out of a novel, what was? It felt like a solo second playthrough of grade school. Which, of course, it was.
What I was supposed to play at with kids my size was a serious worry every single day. People said even a five-year gap felt like a generation gap, and mine was closer to fifteen. To put it bluntly, to little children I was a musty old grandpa.
So today, too, I had to run adaptation training if I wanted to get through elementary school without incident. I opened NewTube and put on a video of Little Magician Rumi. Getting along with the little ones required sharing their hobbies. I was absolutely not watching because I wanted to.
Eyes on the screen, I went to my secret box for snacks. Tucked away in a corner, it was packed full of all my favorites.
The snack box was empty.
"Aww..."
Deflated, I opened the little fridge beside it. I'd meant to drink a cola that looked refreshing just sitting there, but the fridge was empty too.
"Eh..."
And just like that, my perfect plan—salty snacks and a sweet drink while I watched Little Magician Rumi—fell to pieces. I stamped my feet and paced the room.
Should I call Bora? But I was an adult. I didn't need another adult's help anymore. Buying snacks and drinks was something I could manage perfectly well on my own.
Debit card in hand—the one Bora had given me to use whenever I wanted to buy something I felt like eating—I set out on an adventure.
There was a convenience store inside the building, so that would do. I opened the door and checked both sides of the hall. The corridor was deserted. Light leaking from the offices drew me in before I quite noticed, and I drifted that way as if under a spell.
But when I looked inside, everyone was buried in their work. Asking them to come along over nothing felt silly, so I passed on by and headed for the elevator.
I rose onto my toes and pressed the down button. Thankfully I could reach. If I hadn't, my adventure would have ended before it began.
The doors opened on a few people already inside. I hopped in quickly. They seemed to be looking at me, but I was too busy thinking about the snacks and drinks I'd buy to care.
Tat-tat-tat!
The moment the doors opened, I shot forward. My target was the convenience store inside the building.
The automatic doors slid apart and the interior revealed itself, all kinds of goods spreading before my eyes like a panorama.
I almost never came here. Bora, or President Seyoung, or President Sehee, usually bought the snacks and brought them to me, and there had always been more than enough anyway.
Countless snacks lined up on the shelves caught my eye, and all the different drinks besides. This place was heaven.
"Welcome in~"
Leaving the clerk's greeting behind me, I took up a big basket, went to where the snacks were displayed, and quite literally swept them in. For the ones I couldn't reach, I jumped.
"Ah!"
I must have misjudged my strength, because the bags on the high shelf came tumbling to the floor in a rustle. Glancing around, I put them back where they belonged. The contents had surely been smashed to bits by the impact.
I sneaked a look at the clerk. Busy with something else, she hadn't seen a thing. I grinned, privately congratulating myself on a perfect destruction of the evidence.
Snacks more or less chosen, it was time for something to drink. I heaved the basket, heavy with snacks, and looked for cola. It weighed more than I'd expected, so I didn't plan on buying many drinks.
I grabbed one enormous bottle of cola. The heft of it was wonderfully satisfying.
Okay. This is the one!
I dropped the cola into the basket and headed for the counter. But then something caught my eye.
Beer...?
It had been so long since I'd had a drink that I couldn't even remember when, and my mouth watered on its own. That sharp carbonation that puckered your face all by itself. Beer foam so smooth that every swallow went down easy. And on top of that, the pleasant buzz that grew the more you drank.
Feeling as if something had me under a spell, I set a can of beer into the basket with a trembling hand. One cold, crisp beer and I could blow away every bit of the stress I'd been carrying.
It wasn't non-alcoholic. Real beer, with real alcohol in it, went into the basket, and I made for the counter to pay.
I dragged the basket all the way there and strained, grunting, to lift it onto the register. Short as I was, it wouldn't go up easily.
"Want me to ring all of this up?"
The kind part-timer behind the counter must have seen me struggling, because she lifted the basket herself. I thanked her and set down, with a little tap, the single debit card I'd kept neatly in my pocket.
"I'll pay with this."
"Sure, sure."
With practiced hands she ran the snacks and drinks across the barcode scanner.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The cheerful little sounds rang in my ears. I was dying to grab the snacks and drinks and go.
Then, all at once, the steady beeping stopped. Had she scanned everything? I checked the basket, but plenty was still left.
"Hey, kiddo. You didn't grab this by mistake, did you? This isn't a soft drink."
She held up the beer can as she spoke. Emergency. I clung to the counter in a panic.
I absolutely could not give up the beer. Which meant I had to make the best call available if I wanted out of this.
"It's... it's an errand!"
"An errand?"
"Y-yes!"
I couldn't help admiring my own superb improvisation. Fortunately this wasn't a convenience store out on the street but one inside the building, so a certain amount of leeway applied.
Looking half-convinced, the part-timer glanced at the photo of Bora on the debit card, then nodded as if she understood.
"Ah... Researcher Bora. Quitting time, so she's having you pick it up."
And, blessedly, she put the beer in the bag. I nearly shouted for joy. Once the beer went through, everything else passed without a hitch.
Out on the street a stunt like that would never have worked, but the moment Bora came into it, the rest sailed right through.
I hugged the bag to my chest with both arms. Inside were snacks, drinks, and the beer I'd drink tonight.
Hunt successful, I returned to my room in high spirits and hid the beer out of sight among the snacks.