The Manager (1)
The day after a delightful shopping trip with Sea, I stretched, trying to work the stiffness out of a body that had been sitting too long.
"Maybe I should take a little break..."
Living on my own now, my goal was still to take the college entrance exam and get into university. Even if I had turned into a girl, that part hadn't changed at all.
"It's already March, huh."
There were roughly eight months left until the exam. It wasn't exactly crunch time, and I wasn't aiming for a top-tier school anyway, so I could afford to take it easy—but that didn't mean I could just drop studying altogether.
I closed the book, stood up from my desk, and poured myself a glass of cold water from the dispenser.
"Ahhh...!"
So what was I supposed to do with a break, then? On a normal day I wouldn't have thought twice—anime, or a game. Or maybe I'd watch some streams.
"Ah. Streaming."
The memory I'd completely forgotten came rushing back. I had decided to stream consistently from now on. I'd even made a promise to a viewer yesterday. I hadn't set an exact time, so starting now that I'd remembered wasn't a bad idea.
This was the unemployed life, after all. There was no such thing as a fixed schedule—just living flexibly, however the mood struck.
I sat down in front of the computer. For some reason, the moment I thought about going live, the nerves came flooding back.
I wanted a word with everyone who envied streamers for getting paid to sit around playing games.
Then try it yourself!
Every successful streamer had gone through a nobody phase just like mine before they became a proper big name. I could barely keep it together in front of a single person. The thought of broadcasting in front of that many people was almost worthy of respect.
"Watashi doesn't have that kind of courage..."
Gather 10 Viewers
Would I even be able to get ten people on today's stream? Honestly, I had no confidence at all—but I decided to just turn it on and see.
The stream has started.
The notification on screen told me I was live. Not a single viewer had come in yet. For all I knew, no one would show up until the stream ended. The thought made my heart drop.
Right. If you browsed nobody streams like mine, there were countless broadcasts sitting at zero viewers. I had no business moping just because only one person had watched yesterday. I should have been grateful that even that one person had stayed until the end—because today, maybe no one would come at all.
Lucia. My first viewer, and the one who had stayed until the very end, so I'd even memorized the username. After the stream, I'd felt a little proud seeing my follow count tick up by one. That had to have been Lucia.
But that was a separate question from whether I could be sure Lucia would watch me again today. Even if Lucia had been the one to ask me to stream, maybe they wouldn't actually show up. Maybe something had come up. Or maybe the interest had simply faded, and I was being ignored...
The thought made me miserable. Maybe I really had no talent for this. Yesterday my peak had even hit four viewers, but it hadn't taken long before everyone left except Lucia. Didn't that just mean my stream wasn't worth sticking around for?
"...Hngh."
It was so sad I could feel the corners of my eyes going red. I managed not to actually cry, but my nose had already started sniffling. Streaming just wasn't for me. I should quit. Even if I kept going, I'd never even hit ten people.
That was when it happened.
The moment I saw Lucia's name appear, right on cue, the dam finally broke.
"H-hic... Lucia-niiim..."
I couldn't even answer Lucia's chat. I was too busy crying.
"That's it for today's stream. Sayonara!"
I wrapped up after about two hours. As expected, nothing unusual had happened. Same as yesterday, by the end only Lucia was left. I'd seen it coming, but actually running into it still drained the strength right out of me. At this rate, even if I kept streaming forever, my viewer count would never grow.
"...Arigato. You worked hard too, Lucia!"
With only the two of us in the stream, the chat might as well have been a one-on-one conversation. I hesitated over Lucia's question, then decided to just tell the truth.
"...Sumimasen. Honestly, I was going to stop after today."
"It's not that..."
If only it had been that simple. Just saying my own problem out loud was embarrassing enough. But I didn't want to lie to someone who had been kind to me, either.
"...I just don't think watashi has any talent for streaming."
"Yesterday was the same. Besides you, Lucia, nobody watches me..."
It wasn't as if Lucia wouldn't already know that. Viewer counts weren't something only the streamer could see—anyone could check them.
"...Personal info is dame yo."
Given up on streaming? Of course not. I still wanted to keep going. Even setting the quest aside, internet broadcasting was one of the few hobbies I actually enjoyed. It wasn't as if I had zero desire to succeed as a streamer and make money, either. More than that, though, I was jealous of other streamers—the way they talked with their viewers and just had fun with games and the broadcast itself.
Could I ever live that happily too? If I'd only had the talent for it, I would have been willing to go full-time. But you can't do anything about what you don't have. I just wasn't gifted at this.
"...Of course I still want to. But."
"...Eh?"
"...Honto?"
Could I really grow a stream together with Lucia? Did I actually have any talent for this at all? I didn't know. Maybe it was just a pretty, empty line. But—
Recruit a Stream Manager
I decided to believe. The other person had believed in me first, after all.
"Let's do it!"
First, following Lucia's instructions, I ended the stream. From there, we agreed to continue the conversation on KakaoTalk. It was an open chat room, so there was no need to worry about personal information leaking.
Oh, and for the record, the chat room was titled as follows.
Snowflake Inc. Project
It sounded like it meant business. Naturally, there were only two people in the room. One of them spoke to me.
What in the world! So there was a reason for that?! It wasn't simply that I had no talent—there was some enormous secret hidden behind it all?! What could it be?
I let my imagination run wild. The scenarios unspooled without end. A viewer-count display error. A Twitch conspiracy. Lobbying by mega-streamers. By the time I'd reached Scenario #3242, the aliens' shadow war, Lucia's next message finally came through.
That just meant I had no talent for streaming. I understood now. Lucia wasn't some kindhearted angel who'd watched my stream and wanted to help. Lucia was a twisted psychopath devil who had laughed at my pathetic state, dangled hope in front of me, and then snatched it away for the thrill of it!
And I'd even cried and been happy about it, without having a clue. How ridiculous must I have looked!
I huffed and hammered at my phone, pouring my feelings into the keys.
Trying to play nice now? Too late! I had seen through everything!
As expected, there was no one in this world worth trusting besides Sea-chan. I missed Sea-chan. The sushi we'd eaten together yesterday had been so good.
Drowning in a piercing loneliness, I called her.
"Hello?"
"Moshi moshi! Sea-chan!"
"Ah, it's Oppa. I'll call you later! Bye."
Beep. Beep. Beep.
"......"
You live in this world alone. And then you drown in lonely isolation and die, I supposed.
That was when another message arrived from the devil.
"Hmph. I'll at least see what it says."
I wouldn't have any choice but to believe? The sheer confidence was enough to make me curious. And then I read the KakaoTalk that followed, and I understood exactly why Lucia had been so sure.