Chapter 4
Chapter 4
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 4
Chapter Title: No Fucking Sense
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Ye-eun dragged me along, my mind completely blown, to none other than a women's clothing store.
As if mocking my paltry imagination—which had pictured some rundown traditional market stall—the facade plastered in pink seized my attention outright.
Fresh dresses and frocks hung welcomingly from the entrance.
It was blatantly obvious this place forbade men from entering.
"Ye-eun, I think we got the wrong spot... Hey, wait a sec."
I tried to protest, but she shoved me through the door from behind.
Tinkle-tinkle—
"Welcome~"
The sales clerk greeted us with a friendly smile.
I timidly scanned the interior.
My eyes wandered briefly over the lingerie flaunting serious adult appeal right at the front.
Then I turned my head and a whole new world unfolded.
Wait, what?! Is that the legendary garter belt...?
Oh my god, bunny girl outfits too.
Why does that panty have a hole at the end?
Ugh, what's that one?
In the world and all creation. People actually wear that stuff?
Ooh la la.
Glance after glance.
An amazing world of women's intimates.
As I teetered somewhere between instinct and reason, Ye-eun strode confidently to the clerk and spoke up.
"Excuse me, do you measure for bra sizes here?"
"Of course we do."
While the two of them chatted away,
I secretly scoped out the surroundings but couldn't hold back my curiosity. In a bold move, I committed the deed.
I peeked under a mannequin's skirt.
"Eh, nothing special... huh?"
Why put underwear on a mannequin?
I came up with what I thought was a pretty solid theory for that inexplicable act, which went against the purpose of displaying clothes.
'Aha! They dressed it in shaping underwear to make the outfit fit better!'
But do mannequins even need body correction?
Maybe they wanted to recommend matching underwear styles too.
Hold on, does that mean the other mannequins...?
One question led to another.
Before I knew it, my hand reached out to toy with a new mannequin.
"Ma'am?"
"Ah, no! I didn't touch anything!"
"Pardon?"
I blurted out a panicked denial, only to get a baffled look from the clerk.
She'd already come right up beside me.
"Let me measure your bra size. This way, please."
"Me?"
The clerk nodded at my question.
Confused, I glanced at Ye-eun, who jerked her chin for me to follow.
"What the hell? I thought I was just buying clothes?"
"Yeah, right."
It felt like the betrayal of a mom saying "let's get tonkatsu" but dragging you to the urologist instead.
Ye-eun glared at my pubescent-teen expression, like what are you staring at?
"The owner's waiting! Hurry up!"
Behind me, the clerk's awkward gaze.
Ahead, the terrifying glare of a joint-snapping monster ready to devour me.
I was surrounded on all sides.
No matter where I went, it was death.
In the end, I chose the clerk's side, figuring it posed less immediate threat to my safety.
"Don't hold your breath. Exhale normally."
"Hooo..."
"Now lean forward a bit? No, too much. Yes, like that."
Wobble...
The clerk bustled around, measuring me with a tape, then handed me a bra.
"Go try it on in the fitting room."
I stared blankly at the scrap of fabric in my hand, then shuffled to the fitting room.
A full-length mirror lined the inside.
Right then, a rotten-faced reflection stared back.
"This a dream?"
No way this was real.
Han Jeong-ho, man among men.
Next thing I knew, I was like some ero-manga protagonist, hiding in a changing room clutching women's underwear.
What the hell?
What happened in that split second?
Not content with suddenly turning me into a girl, now my sister had seen it.
I'd been hit on by a guy on the street.
And now here I was, trying on a bra in a women's store.
Unless the world was pulling a hidden camera prank on me, this made no sense.
Oh, right.
This was a hidden camera show.
Any second now, a crowd with cameras would burst out shouting,
'Ta-da! It's a hidden camera!'
And I'd react like,
'Whoa! I totally fell for it!'
Then Ye-eun, the street flirter, the clerk, and all the passersby we'd brushed past would high-five and say good job. I'd get my confiscated pants back, sigh in relief, close-up on my face, and the show would end warmly...
...
No such TV-trick nonsense happened.
What greeted me wasn't applause or cameras, just Ye-eun's impatient voice from beyond the curtain.
"You done yet?! Hurry up!"
"......"
The flower-in-mirror-moon-on-water illusion I'd built crumbled.
Time to face reality.
I stripped off my top and cupped my breasts together.
Held the bra in place, reached back, hooked it—snap, and a firm hold locked in.
"Is this right?"
Looking closer, it was a bit off-balance.
I tugged the straps to level it out.
"Ugh, fuck. Just fuck..."
Whether from self-loathing or the bra's squeeze, my breath caught.
The mirror showed an underwear model straight out of an adult mag, stark naked from the waist up save for the bra.
Curves in all the right places, protruding perfectly. A flawless figure, no excess.
But since it was my body, disappointingly, no thrill stirred.
Psychologically impotent now, I muttered emptily,
"Man, this makes no fucking sense."
I lamented my fate anew.
Me, who'd yelled "even buying sunscreen is too much," now doing makeup and hooking my own bra.
A perfect crossdresser's look, no excuses left.
Truly deplorable.
I let out a deep sigh, wondering if I'd used up a lifetime's worth today,
adjusted the hooks one last time, dressed, and exited the fitting room.
"How's the fit?"
"It's tight."
"Tight is normal."
"The choking feeling too?"
"Hmm... That could be if the size is off. We measured over your clothes, so there might be some error. For accuracy, you'd need to measure bare-chested."
No way I was baring my chest to a stranger.
I just asked for multiples in the same size, different colors.
I picked a few outfits too—the original goal—but Ye-eun chose them all.
The clerk and sister's ecstatic combo had me changing who-knows-how-many times, raving about how they suited me.
Sis, what's that in your hand?"
"Oh, this? It's a skirt. You wear it instead of pants."
Her brazen reply got me cursing her out with my eyes instead of words.
You're really crossing the line you shouldn't.
A short deep breath, steeling for the final battle.
High chance I'd lose, but with all these eyes on us, she'd suffer massive embarrassment from a live sibling brawl too.
Skirt or die.
Sensing my do-or-die resolve,
Ye-eun dropped the sinful item, claiming it was a joke.
Shopping was still exhausting.
Not just spectating from afar, but being the one changing outfits doubled the fatigue.
I hadn't done much, yet it felt like I'd run two shifts of warehouse labor, weariness crushing me.
"Total comes to 578,000 won."
"Pardon? How much?"
Did I hear wrong?
At the register, eyes wide, I double-checked. The clerk looked at me like something was wrong.
"No, the price is..."
How could scraps of cloth cost this much?
I couldn't fathom needing King Sejong to grace us 58 times for a few outfits.
Three pairs of underwear, top and bottom.
Two going-out T-shirts and two pairs of jeans.
Even roughly calculating, each piece neared 50,000 won.
Impossible unless they'd snuck in luxury brands.
Was the clerk's once-sweet smile now a sleazy grin at hooking another sucker? Or just my imagination?
If they were trying to rip me off, wrong target.
As I glared daggers at the card reader, Ye-eun suddenly pulled out her card.
"We'll pay with this."
"Hey? What, why your card?"
"Discharge gift. Say thanks."
"No, where'd you even get that kind of money?"
"I've got plenty."
Han Ye-eun, 22.
Prime age for bluffing.
She might think she's rich, but the world still pegged college kids as economic weaklings.
I wanted to play along, but burning that much on clothes? No way.
"Ye-eun, let's return it now. Head to Dongmyo market; we can get this stuff for half off."
"I really have money. And for underwear, buy quality—it lasts. Cheap crap just costs more in the long run."
Was that so?
Then buy undies here, market for outerwear?
I suggested it, but couldn't sway her stubbornness.
In my life, the first and last time I'd dropped 500k on clothes was buying that chuunibyou Dark Ye-eunmon her delinquent puffer jacket.
Today, that record shattered.