Chapter 36
Chapter 36
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 36
Chapter Title: Ah, This Game is Boring
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The process for signing up.
To hide my information, I deliberately blocked the broadcast screen.
Smoothly created the account and turned the cam back on.
Amid the heated welcome, I logged into the game, and a prompt to set a nickname popped up right away.
"T...S... Hyo... jeong..."
Click.
Then a notification urged me to start the tutorial.
I hit confirm. Loading progressed, and soon the screen switched.
A wide road.
In the middle, a cute little character was riding a kart.
The tutorial explained basic controls.
Arrow keys for steering... Shift for drifting...
It kindly explained that for sharp turns on tight curves, use drifts.
"Control? What's this?"
"Whoa, damn, it speeds up a ton?"
Three laps around the map to clear.
Passing the final goal on the third lap, the character got out of the kart and danced to signal the end of the race.
Got the gist.
I knew the mechanics now; all that was left was real play.
I wagged one finger at the broadcast cam.
"Come at me. Let's do a match."
"Games are all about momentum."
"Have my viewers always had such sharp tongues?"
Multi mode for up to 8 players.
They started trickling in one by one, and the lobby filled up in no time.
"Map random, right?"
"OK. Random it is. Starting now?"
Hit ready, loading started, and a lush green grassland map greeted me.
Eight racers huddled at the starting line.
With upbeat countdown sounds, the race seemed about to kick off—
But it ended in the blink of an eye.
I got wrecked. Miserably.
"You guys yapping right now, come join. I'll beat you all."
In my defense, the previous round's players were obvious veterans.
Three-digit levels everywhere.
So I made a new room to refresh the players.
Sure enough, it filled up fast again.
"Kids playing, you adults wanna butt in? Low levels only."
Kicked anyone over three digits instantly.
New players rushed in to fill spots.
After several rounds of culling, the lobby was all single or double-digit pure newbies.
The game started again.
Three-second countdown under the red light, then simultaneous start.
But something was off.
Starting line the same, yet why was I pulling away from the others?
Distance not closing like same-pole magnets.
Especially the endless boosters—mind-blowing.
"What's with that guy spamming dash? Isn't that speeding?"
"And this guy's wrong-way driving?"
I gasped at the character ramming straight at me head-on.
Big crash, then it sauntered off like its job was done.
I chased it, yelling desperately.
"You hit-and-run psycho! Where you going!!"
Then a car sideswiped me.
The impact sent my kart into the water.
The character flashed briefly and ascended to heaven in an effect.
"These guys drive like idiots?! Call Han Min-chul TV right now!!"
I fully grasped why it's called trash.
Three rounds in, no decent results.
Third time seeing the sad-faced character fail to finish.
What I didn't know was that KartRacer was once the national racing game.
Everyone's played it, so no true newbies.
Low-level players were all smurf accounts with main chars elsewhere.
"What's Block Mode?"
Block Mode: Pick one driver, other 7 sabotage to prevent finish.
For me, just break through and finish in time.
10 minutes.
Previous laps under 2 min each—total giveaway.
"Doable?"
While waiting for the Block Mode room to fill, I warmed up my fingers.
Stretched shoulders, rolled neck.
"Challenge!"
Before starting the mission, I yelled the Lemon TV tradition.
The hellish race for 300k began.
Block Mode was more doable than expected.
Despite viewers' sabotage to fail the mission, I steadfastly hammered keys.
"One more lap... just one!"
Safely finished two of three laps.
One more to go for success.
Glanced at bottom-left timer.
6 min gone, 4 left.
Previous laps just over 3 min—plenty of time.
Or so I thought.
Now the real trouble.
"Aaaagh!! What the—where'd that come from!"
Attacks intensified.
Ambushers from blind spots disrupting nonstop.
Blocking barrage left me reeling.
"I know, damn it!!"
Reacted to donation—kart plunged into water.
"Argh... argh!"
Tantrum.
This damn...
Man's bitter anguish turned "tantrum" by cruel crowd—speechless.
No, don't engage.
Not even one lap. Half left.
I was Tom Brady now.
Football god breaking blocks, dodging pre-waiting assaults with drifts, finally crossed goal.
"Yes!!!"
Yelled in joy, checked clear time.
Result: 12:30.25
Way over 10 min.
Absurd number—utter deflation.
"This make sense?"
Never doubted success, but last lap delayed 6 min.
"Fun? You'd think so? 300k flew away right in front of me?"
Ruffled hair, groaned self-reproach—consolation donations came.
"...Thanks, No.1."
Even the kart recommender appeared.
His praise—he'd gone pro once—straightened my slumped shoulders.
"True that? A better kart and I'd have nailed it. Ah, total pay-to-win trash."
"So you all have higher kart levels than Nice Smoothie? Pro says I've got talent. So must be true."
Hmm... Ending here felt regrettable.
Just getting the feel—quitting now left a pang.
Reading my mind, Young-joon Mon upped the ante.
Previous was Speed Mode. Item Mode separate.
Attack items to hinder, shields to defend, boosters to help—variety galore.
Sounded promising.
Premium fuel in my veins, not blood.
Time for Schumacher's heir to awaken...
"Argh, shield! Shield won't pop, this trash game!"
Item box gave missiles, no defense.
Rear ambushers unleashed hell.
"I used it!!! Hit shield!!"
"Move it!"
Cornered, couldn't budge.
Three or four surrounded and penned me.
"Argh stop ramming you idiots! Can't go forward!! If you wanna ram, do it from behind!"
After twists and turns, reached high ground.
Last lap. Before goal, activated saved booster.
Blue flames from exhaust, accelerated.
Overtook flailing blockers, finished.
Win!
No time to savor—checked time hastily.
15:00.04
"Gyaaaaaah!!"
0.04 seconds?
Doubted my eyes.
"Honestly, under 15 min, right?"
Tried sly hope.
"OK, fair."
No was no.
Young-joon Mon's generosity gave more chances, but all narrowly failed.
"Ah, this game is boring."
Hyo-jeong pls play Gundam!! Our game fun!!