Chapter 33
Chapter 33
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 33
Chapter Title: Holding Hands Like This Makes My Heart Feel Secure
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I tried to take a photo with the mascot, but Baek Hwan flatly refused, leaving me to pose alone.
A nearby staff member grabbed my phone and shouted.
"Okay, kimchi~"
"Kimchi...?"
Click.
I let out a sigh as I looked at the screen.
There I was, next to Hello Kitty, pulling the exact same goofy expression.
And with a rabbit doll in one hand, I looked every bit the little girl.
"Ugh, I'll pay back this humiliation someday..."
"I have no idea why you're embarrassed."
She wouldn't take the rabbit doll no matter what, so I had no choice but to carry it around.
If my stream viewers saw this, they'd tease me like, "Big bro, how old are you to be playing with dolls?"
Or maybe pull some hate like, "Whoa, big bro's got such a girly heart."
Good thing it wasn't on stream.
Oh right, I need to post the stream notice.
Since quitting the part-time job, I'd been streaming consistently from the afternoon.
I posted that I'd be going live in the evening since it'd be late today.
With my newfound freedom, my steps were light.
I popped into a famous dessert shop and freaked out at the price of a single slice of cake, then grabbed a quick meal at a convenience store after Hwan said she wasn't hungry.
Spotting a Life Four Cuts booth, I dragged us right in.
I hadn't expected her to hate Hello Kitty, but this was different.
I'd never met a girl who disliked Life Four Cuts.
"You're so pushy."
Shoved into the photo booth against her will, Baek Hwan sighed.
"This is nothing."
"You hide this side of yourself on stream?"
"Not at all. If anything, I'm being nicer right now."
"...People watch that? Are they all idiots?"
Her target suddenly shifted to my viewers.
My viewers were mine to roast.
So I jumped to their defense.
"They're good kids at heart."
Even I tilted my head at how weird that sounded.
"Probably...?"
We hit all eight spots I'd always wanted to check out with a girlfriend someday.
No regrets left in life.
"Anywhere you wanna go?"
"Home."
"Besides that."
"Then why ask?"
"Just being polite."
Regardless of her input, I had one last spot in mind.
Hwan looked almost resigned, like she was saying whatever.
But since she wasn't outright refusing, maybe she was enjoying it deep down.
Wishful thinking, probably.
Anyway, that's how we ended up there.
Looking up at the flashing neon sign, Hwan asked curiously.
"...A PC bang?"
"You're good at editing, right? Let's check out your work."
We went in and rented a couple's room.
Baek Hwan freaked out, begging me not to stick so close, but this was the only way to see the screen properly.
Her reaction was fun, so I leaned in even more on purpose.
Watching the videos she pulled up, my thoughts were:
Hmm... super clean?
Honestly, what did I know?
But if I had to rate it, the subtitles were unobtrusive yet highly readable, and the video effects and sounds were timed perfectly for immersion.
Even more impressive: each video had a different channel owner, and the editing style changed completely to match the streamer.
It felt tailor-made for their personalities.
One of the projects was even for Ida-ram.
"Whoa, you made all these?"
At my genuine awe, the corner of Hwan's mouth twitched up faintly.
"Hmph, this is nothing."
It dropped right back.
"You're pretty talented, huh? No wonder Park Rep keeps a punk like you around—with skills like these."
"Pick one: praise or insult."
"Praise, praise. You see everything so negatively 'cause life's twisted you up."
"You should book a psych ward today."
Baek Hwan grumbled, but she was clearly pleased.
By the time we left the PC bang, dusk had fallen.
"Where's your place? I'll walk you."
"No need."
"Hey, a girl shouldn't wander dark streets alone."
Hwan gave me a look like I'd lost my mind.
"Don't you hear 'no self-awareness' a lot?"
"Nah? I'm totally objective. Even Aristotle couldn't tell me to know myself."
"Socrates."
"I know. Just slipped."
I brazenly corrected myself and grabbed her hand.
Startled, Baek Hwan yanked away hard.
Realizing her overreaction, she panicked more—like I'd been the one to pull away.
"No, that's not..."
"Here."
I offered my hand again.
"N-No."
"Here."
It felt like coaxing a wary stray cat.
If only I had treats; going empty-handed meant no bites.
Finally, I stepped close and firmly took her hesitant hand.
"You know? They say holding hands like this makes your heart feel secure."
It was something I'd often told Ye-eun as a kid.
"You can't always live alone. Sometimes feeling someone else's warmth like this eases the mind."
Baek Hwan walked silently, staring at the ground.
She seemed lost in thought.
Her place wasn't far.
About ten minutes, and we were there.
I quietly let go of her hand.
"Ah."
Regretful?
I asked to borrow her phone for a sec from the dazed girl staring at her hand.
I put in my number and handed it back.
"Call if you wanna hang again."
She finally reacted.
"I never said I'd be your editor."
"I wouldn't force it. Just hit me up when you're bored. I'll hang like today."
"Why?"
She questioned why we couldn't stay in touch outside business.
This girl.
Did she not know what friends were?
Come to think of it, she said she rarely left home.
No one could approach easily with her walls up.
But no kid starts out bad.
Circumstances make them that way.
Hwan's prickliness was probably self-protection.
I didn't know her full story, but...
"They say just venting helps. Wanna tell me what happened?"
For the first time, Baek Hwan's expression wavered.
Then she nodded faintly.
After her mom died when she was young, her dad had abused her nonstop.
Similar to me, but different.
I'd been adrift in an endless sea; she was locked in a room with no escape.
I at least had the freedom to run; she didn't.
At twenty.
The moment she became an adult, she fled home penniless and had to scrape by.
Hating people, she learned editing—something she could do alone at home.
While barely surviving on gigs, a streamer from Amuse she'd collabed with on a job introduced her to Park Rep.
The rest was as I'd heard.
Park Rep saw her streamer potential but, due to her inability to connect with viewers, put her on the editing team.
*
Baek Hwan finished her story and cautiously looked up at Hyo-jeong.
She couldn't read Hyo-jeong's face.
She was sick of pitying gazes.
Poor kid. Problem child. Needs help.
After her dad caused a scene at school, classmates' looks changed like that.
The memory lingered as a deep scar.
Would Hyo-jeong see her that way?
Offer shallow comfort? "Hang in there" or "Poor thing"—empty words?
But Hyo-jeong was different.
She just hugged Hwan tight.
"Must've been so hard."
Hwan's fists clenched.
"You've lived strong all this time. Good job. I'm proud."
Good job. Proud.
Unexpected words.
The first to accept her life as is.
No blame, no pity, no avoidance. Pure acknowledgment.
That crumbled Hwan's walls.
Years of cold battlements, sharp thorns to avoid hurt.
They collapsed, confronting her fragile self within.
Hwan recalled wounds she'd inflicted.
Sharp words to countless people. Cold shoulders. Closed heart.
And wounds she'd taken in return.
Self-loathing kept her head down.
Covering her face with both arms, she whispered.
"I acted mean on purpose. Knew I shouldn't."
"I see."
No blame in Hyo-jeong's voice.
"I'm such an idiot, right?"
"Not at all. Impressive, even. You've endured alone. I have one sister—if not for her, I'd have given up long ago. Compared to that, you're amazing. Bearing loneliness solo. Overcoming fear. Pushing past dread."
"Always... alone."
"Not anymore."
To Hwan's questioning gaze, Hyo-jeong continued.
"Park Rep's there. I'm there. Call anytime you're struggling. Whine, complain—I'll listen."
"That's a bother."
"So what? I crash at my sister's and bother her nonstop."
She suddenly giggled.
"My sister's a year older than you but can't fold clothes right. Always a mess—total bother machine."
Silence fell briefly.
"...I'll do it."
"Huh?"
"Call every day. Even if you say no. Even at bedtime. Okay?"
"What time do you sleep?"
"10."
"Totally fine."
Surprisingly straight-laced under that exterior.
"Here, rabbit doll. Hug it like it's me at night. No more loneliness, right?"
"Don't treat me like a kid."
"You are to me."
Hwan grumbled but clutched the doll tight.
She hesitated, then mumbled softly.
"Hyo... ni."
"What?"
"Hyo-jeong... unnie."
"Unnie? I'm oppa."
"You're so weird."
Hwan's face looked brighter than before.
Like dust shaken off after years, or a heavy burden lifted.
*
That evening.
Back home prepping the stream, my phone rang.
Baek Hwan.
"Huh?"
Already lonely, kid?
More of a baby than I thought. I chuckled and answered.
[Sniff, unnie... Help me.]
A pitiful voice came through the line.