The Monkey King's Cudgel

New weapon messages flood in like crazy. [Tutorial Labyrinth Cleared!] [Reward·····] I still don't get why the God of Manure Removal gets so happy or sulky over the smallest things.

《The Star ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Maiden asks if there's anything you want.》

"I need mana-related items. Do you have any?"

《The Star Maiden says of course and heads to the report.》

"Thanks a ton."

《The Three-Tan Devil shakes his head, saying the room master's smile is way too evil.》

"What about me?"

"Oh, this is pretty good?"

《The Star Maiden looks triumphant.》

An Epic-grade item sits one tier above the necklace Yoo Bit-na used to have. Just one tier, yet the performance gap is like heaven and earth.

"It's decent, but isn't the option set a bit lacking for something from the God of Manure Removal?"

《The Star Maiden says it's because it's a set item, so it can't be helped.》

That's what Yoo Bit-na told me. Each piece has weaker effects than same-grade items, but when you collect the full set, the set bonus kicks in and outperforms any single item. Hard to collect, sure, but nothing beats a full set once you have it.

"Nice. Thanks."

I hold out the book and it vanishes into light in an instant.

《The Star Maiden feels happy.》

Just looking at the percentage bonuses, it's hard to find anything better. The problem is my base energy pool is so low that the efficiency tanks. It's like those gacha events that double the drop rate—0.001% becomes 0.002%. My current Seon-gi and Myeong-gi are listed as B- on the status window. That's top-tier even among Wisdom Academy students, and since they're special stats, they should be far more efficient than regular mana of the same rank. Still not enough.

I got so carried away combining undead that I raised their stages without thinking, and now I can't even operate a single highest-grade undead.

《The Star Maiden asks why Cheol-su is free-falling off a cliff.》

"He's a noble soul who sacrificed himself for a brilliant future."

《The Star Maiden is overwhelmed with emotion and sheds tears.》

Such a sensitive friend.

《The Star Maiden asks why Young-hee is running instead of taking the train.》

"Young-hee ran until she got a stroke. She and Cheol-su are truth-seekers. Assistants to the Sage of Stars."

《The Star Maiden is deeply moved by Cheol-su and Young-hee.》

"They really have it rough."

A message pops up mid-conversation and the surroundings shift.

"I'm heading off to rest. Ask if you don't understand something while studying."

《The Star Maiden gives a thumbs-up, calling it the best after-service spot.》

The moment I finish speaking, the environment completely changes. It's the same room where I boiled ramen yesterday.

"Aigoo, my baby's covered in dust."

"Sleepy."

Baek Seol got all grubby from the dust in the labyrinth.

"Let's wash up squeaky clean and sleep."

"Eung."

She looks completely drained. Must've used up all her energy playing.

"Alright, all clean. Now go shake it off downstairs."

Fwoosh-!

"······."

She shakes her body while dangling from my hand. Water drips from the hair I just wrung out.

"Rub rub!"

"I'll lay out a towel."

"Good!"

After finishing the shower and stepping out with Baek Seol, I spot a familiar silhouette.

"Sun's here?"

"Player Han Ga-eul."

"Yeah."

She didn't call my name for any particular reason—just used it instead of answering. While I lay out a towel for Baek Seol to rub against and dry my wet hair, Ariel sits quietly on the bed.

"Your physique is excellent."

"Horny?"

"······Han Ga-eul is perfect when she keeps her mouth shut."

"Same old line."

"I wasn't talking about your figure."

"Wanna do me?"

Ariel, who had been staring, slowly turns her head away. After roughly drying my hair, I plop down beside her, and only then does she meet my eyes again.

"Did you come for a kiss?"

"····Rather, is the rabbit alright?"

She changes the subject. Following Ariel's finger, I see Baek Seol asleep on the towel after rubbing herself dry.

"She must've been tired from playing so hard."

I bring the sleeping Baek Seol onto the bed and she curls up. Her fur is already fluffy from all the rubbing.

"So why'd you come?"

"Didn't you ask me to explain how to use points?"

"Ah, right."

"Han Ga-eul was the last one."

Even while I toss the towel and change into comfy clothes, she keeps nagging.

"The other players are already using their points····."

"Got it, got it."

Tap. Tap.

"Come lie down."

I pat my lap and Ariel stares.

"Why would I lie on Han Ga-eul's lap?"

"I'll clean your ears. Talking the whole time is boring, right?"

After a moment of silence, Ariel carefully lies down on my lap.

"Ta-da. Ear-cleaning set."

"You carry all sorts of things."

"I wanted to clean your ears."

I tidy Haetnim's hair and she slowly closes her eyes. At first it's just a small wooden ear pick. I tuck her hair behind her ear and gently insert the pick, carefully scraping inside. Her body twitches lightly.

"Tell me if it tickles."

"It feels good."

As I move the ear pick carefully, Haetnim's stiff expression gradually softens.

"Han Ga-eul, be careful of the gods during tomorrow's tutorial."

"Why watch out for gods in a tutorial?"

"Normally, gods can't intervene in tutorials unless it's a legitimate trade. But tomorrow is the only day they can force their way in through the cracks."

"Explain in more detail."

"I can't."

After rambling about things I don't understand, Haetnim starts breathing softly in her sleep. She came to tell me stuff and then fell asleep. Thanks to her, drowsiness hits me too. I hug Haetnim and lie down on the bed. A warm Haetnim is in my arms, and fluffy Baek Seol is by my pillow.

"What? It's over?"

The moment I wake up and open my eyes, the floating message makes me feel ridiculous. Haetnim, who fell asleep in my arms, is already gone.

Space warps and the usual waiting room appears. I wasn't the only one expecting more. The angel in charge of the tutorial walks past the murmuring players.

"Greetings, players. You must be confused by the Tower's message, but there's actually one last tutorial left."

The players' voices grow louder, as if the angel's brief explanation wasn't enough. The tutorial angel waves her hand in the air.

With the strange message, the surroundings change once more.

—Waaaaah!!!

The moment the environment shifts, a thunderous roar tears through the air. The players who came with me also look dazed as they glance around.

—Chik, chik.

"Huu—"

It resembles a massive circular colosseum. People fill every seat from the bottom to the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠very top. There must be tens of thousands here. Since even Yoo Bit-na couldn't explain the tutorial, I have no idea what's going on. Baek Seol gets excited by the loud cheers and starts bouncing.

Haetnim told me to be careful of the tutorial, yet the message says it's over. The two claims contradict each other.

Messages flood my vision before the quest window can even appear.

《Choco Stone Monkey sends an invitation.》

《Handstanding Self sends an invitation.》

《Righteous Thief Who Hates Birds sends an invitation.》

《Macho Man Cleaning Manure sends an invitation.》

These are probably the gods Haetnim warned me about yesterday. The 0.5th floor—technically a tutorial, yet not. This must be where gods can directly intervene with players.

Invitations from the gods float everywhere. Among the endless messages, one god keeps spamming the same thing like crazy.

《Choco Stone Monkey sends an invitation.》

《Choco Stone Monkey sends an invitation.》

《Choco Stone Monkey sends an invitation.》

.. ..

It's the same god that's been eyeing me since the first day ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of the tutorial. Some gods half-openly made up names, so I noticed, but this Choco Stone Monkey seems unusually eccentric. No matter how freely gods name themselves, I can't understand why "Choco" is in there.

"Baek Seol, which one do you like best?"

"Choco!"

"Rabbits shouldn't eat choco, right?"

"Good!"

Since this rabbit even dips flower petals in ramen broth, it'll probably be fine.

《Choco Stone Monkey finds it absurd that the room master left the gods' invitations to the rabbit.》

"If you're upset, speak up."

《Choco Stone Monkey shakes its head violently.》

I place my hand on the floating invitation, and the world flips instantly. When I open my eyes—habitually closed—I find a new world.

"Wow. What is this place?"

"Kuu!"

It's so majestic it sends shivers down my spine. Stone structures tower everywhere, reaching impossible heights.

—Chik, chik.

"Huu—"

While looking around with Baek Seol, something sparkles in the sky. It ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠looked like a dot from afar, but in the blink of an eye it grows massive. I've never seen anything move this fast in my life.

Bang!!

A cloud-like burst explodes right in front of me, and something shoots out.

"Behold, my entrance."

"Huu— Who're you?"

"Huh? Haha."

Only after the cigarette smoke and clouds clear do I see the person's face.

"I am Sun Wukong. The one who summoned you."

"Choco Stone Monkey?"

"Kuhuhu, yeah. That's me."

The guy with a well-trained body grins annoyingly. Even as a god, his speech is way too casual.

"So why'd you call me?"

The still-grinning guy leans in close. I can feel his breath.

"Not the reaction I wanted? Sniff sniff·····huh?"

"Why'd you call me?"

"Uh, uh?"

I push the approaching guy away and he dramatically stumbles back a few steps.

"You ate a Peento peach, didn't you?"

The guy who backed off crosses his arms and leans in again.

"I'll split your head like a divided nation. Peento this, Peento that—why the hell did you call me?"

"How many years old was the peach? No, how did you even eat it? You're human."

The mischievous smile on his face suddenly turns serious.

"Hmm·····. What? Even if it's a Peento, is the scent really this strong?"

Conversation isn't working.

—Chik, chik.

"Huu—"

Talking to this monster feels pointless. I toss the cigarette and light a new one, feeling a bit calmer.

"If you've got nothing to say, send me back. I have a tutorial to do."

"Time flows differently here, so it's fine."

"I'm not fine. Just say what you want."

"Hmm, I don't know."

He tilts his head while staring at me.

"Hahat. Can't help what you don't know."

He drums and plays the gong all by himself. Unpredictable personality. Getting tangled with this type is going to be annoying.

"I called you because of the reward."

"Reward?"

Sun Wukong starts grinning again and nods.

"You asked for a reward in exchange for telling an interesting story, remember?"

"Just give me points. Did you really drag me here for that?"

I look around again. It's such a breathtaking view that I almost want to build a cabin here and live leisurely once everything's over.

"Huu— Fine. Since I'm here, give it."

I hold out my hand and his grin deepens.

"Take that."

What Sun Wukong points at is a pillar that looks like the ruins of a stone structure.

"You want me to pull out your house pillar?"

"Haha, you're really funny. Yeah, that's the reward."

No matter how I look at it, I picked the wrong invitation. As I approach the pillar and glance back, Sun Wukong is grinning with that mischievous face.

"So I just take this?"

"It's really good stuff. Hurry and grab it."

No matter how I look, it's just a pillar. Even when I touch it, it's a pillar.

The second Primordial Myth equipment I've seen. Durability is low, but that's fixable.

"Hoo. Hey, can I really take this?"

"Didn't I say it? A superior god doesn't go back on his word. Of course, only if you can take it."

The engraved name vanishes the moment Sun Wukong finishes speaking. That's probably why he's grinning so much—the weight. 13,500 geun. Roughly 8,100 kilograms, or 8.1 tons. About three times heavier than my beloved Ppongppong-i axe. I've only swung it twice, so it's less a beloved magic staff and more a hated one.

"Nngh! Nnngh!"

"Puhahaha!"

When I pretend to strain while grabbing the pillar, Sun Wukong falls over laughing. I thought only the messages did that, but he actually flips backward every time he laughs.

"Huaa."

"Uahaha! Uahahaha!"

He pounds the ground, laughing uncontrollably. Laughing like that might give him high blood pressure. Still, there's something Sun Wukong doesn't know. When I lifted the multi-layered Ppongppong-i with just my base strength, it felt heavy but manageable. I can pull this out too, but this is a weapon. Lifting and swinging are two different things.

The effect of Woodcutter Gung-sang's pathetic suggestion. Baek Seol's father forcibly took it from her and gave it to me. He probably thinks the hair tie on my head is just decoration.

"Ugh, this is heavy. If I pull this out, I can really take it, right?"

"Uahaha, of course."

"No hard feelings later, right?"

"I told you."

"Superior god?"

"Doesn't go back on his word."

I activate the option I had turned off for strength control, and tremendous power surges through my body.

Crack.

"Huh?"

Crack crack!

"······What?"

Crack crack crack!

The deeper I push, the more the pillar buried deep underground breaks through the ground and rises.

"Hup!"

Kwaaaang!!

The massive pillar that once soared high into the sky shrinks instantly, as if it had always been that way. The stones clinging to its surface fall away, revealing a smooth metal staff.

"Teacher, are you satisfied? I put in some effort since it seemed like you wanted this kind of Popomon."

Since I pretended it was hard to pull out, Teacher Son must be very satisfied.

"Uh, uh·····. Uh·····. M-my, my, my Yeou·····."

He looks so happy he might have aphasia. This is why I do service work.

"Thaaank you, monkey. I'll put this to good use♡"