Life's Ramen Chop!

Life's Ramen, chop! The Red Skeleton rushes forward at blinding speed and swings its rib-sword. The Sisum's head drops cleanly to the ground in one crisp slash. No hesitation, no wasted motion. Even a slaughterbot would look clumsy next to this.

Ring!

The name appears on the scoreboard. At the same moment, every player who had been reading the quest window snaps their heads toward me. Their eyes are filled with malice and greed.

"What are you staring at, you bastards?"

I don't know how much they understand about this tower yet, but one thing is crystal clear from those looks. Here, the only way up is by stepping on everyone else. I have no idea how the rules and oaths the angel mentioned actually work, but this place runs on raw power. Ring!

Another point ticks up when the Red Skeleton finishes off a second doe. Now the first tutorial's goal is obvious.

That field-boss Sisum, which looks identical to a regular deer and is nearly impossible to find, is worth a hundred points. Getting one-shot by a skeleton's sword swing makes me wonder how strong it actually is, but one thing is certain: this quest is vicious. In the scant three hours we have, ordinary deer give one point while humans give a hundred.

Chik, chik.

"Haaah—"

The part about dead players losing their points feels especially off. "Consumed" and "lost" are not the same word. If the system says the points are consumed, then something must be consuming them. The players' greedy stares already tell me exactly where those points are going: absorption and merger. Even those who don't fully understand the rules know that killing someone lets you climb over their corpse. The result is the same either way—they're being encouraged to murder.

"If you don't like it, come at me."

The players are still clustered at the starting point, just watching. That's the smart play here. Anyone who sees the words "beginner hunting ground" and the peaceful deer grazing and thinks this will be easy has flowers growing in their skull. The whole thing is a nasty test full of wordplay and misdirection.

Clack.

When I stand up, the blood-soaked Skeletons glance over before returning to their work. The sight of bright-red skeletons dripping sticky blood between their bones is something I'd rather not see even in nightmares.

"Haaah—"

I wonder what they'll do. All they know is that I suddenly took first place with a hundred points and that my skeletons keep racking up points by slaughtering deer. Will they attack the human who just beat an angel they couldn't even gauge?

"That witch's skeletons are far away. Let's gang up on her while we can."

The swordsman I rejected earlier has apparently taken the lead. After a few more words from him, the others nod in agreement. He's got a real talent for rabble-rousing. Tick. I grind the fallen cigarette under my heel and a thin wisp of smoke rises. When the wind carries it away, the crushed butt spits out its nicotine-soaked filter like a swollen blister.

Chik, chik.

"Haaah—"

Ping!

Having made up their minds, they draw their weapons. Courage really does multiply when people bunch together. Even more impressive is how he managed to whip twenty out of fifty people into a frenzy in mere seconds.

"Let's go! I'll take point!"

—Waaaah!!

They charge with bloodthirsty weapons raised, shouting like they're facing a life-or-death enemy.

"Am I the Demon King or something?"

Thwack!

Bony hands burst from the ground as three more Red Skeletons rise.

Baek Seol's shadow condenses into a small, reaper-like figure about twice her size. Its robe is pitch black, hiding its face, but I can tell it's grinning mischievously. Whether it's a good or bad thing, these undead all have strong personalities.

'Shadow, stick to that guy.'

"Kirik."

With a playful laugh, the Shadow melts into the shade of a tree and vanishes. While everyone's attention is on me, one player quietly slips backward, trying not to be noticed. Something's off. I can smell a rat.

The charging players falter when they see the new skeletons.

"Give those small-fry a spicy beating."

Clack-clack-clack!

The three blood-red Skeletons ignite with crimson flames and lunge forward.

"Aaaagh!!"

"You said there were no skeletons, you lunatic!"

"Then you take the front!"

Twenty players are thrown into chaos by just three Skeletons. Still, there's always a hero. One swordsman leaps out with a greatsword and brings it down on a Red Skeleton's skull with all his might.

"Hraaah!"

CLANG!!

The sharp metallic ring echoes across the meadow.

"……Huh?"

"That's a bulletproof skull."

Clack-clack-clack.

The swordsman stares blankly at his own dangling, broken wrist. A bony blade falls on his head.

Ring!

"Huff! Huff!"

Kim Cheol-su, running so hard his mouth tastes sour, suddenly finds himself facing a massive rocky gorge that doesn't belong on the meadow. The sight is clearly unnatural, yet he moves with practiced familiarity, as if he's been here before.

"Q-quick!"

As his urgent hands trace the rocks, the entire gorge begins to tremble.

Gr-gr-grk!

The vibrating stone splits open, revealing a huge entrance. Kim Cheol-su rushes inside. Sunlight pouring through holes in the ceiling lights the cave brightly. Only after stepping in does he finally let out a deep, relieved sigh, his face pale.

"Crazy…… What the hell are those skeletons?"

He'd expected to simply retrace a path he already knew, but an unexpected variable had appeared. No matter how much he thought about it, he'd never seen that person in his previous regressions.

Shaking off the flood of thoughts, he walks toward the brightest spot in the cave. There, a glittering golden chalice rests on a rock.

"Ha…… Haha!"

With trembling hands he lifts the golden chalice. A sound that could be either a sigh or laughter escapes his lips.

"To think this fell into my hands!"

Kim Cheol-su can barely contain his overflowing joy. A single treasure map found after climbing the tower again and again. He'd spent decades chasing it, convinced it would change his miserable life. He'd finally deciphered it, only for the compass to point to the tutorial floor. A tutorial that offered no information and forbade even speaking of the tower's rules. At first he'd felt nothing but despair. But he'd been wrong. The map had pointed to two treasures all along. Thanks to the first one he'd obtained, he'd finally reached this place.

Smiling at the golden chalice in his hands, Kim Cheol-su pulls out the leather waterskin hanging from his waist.

'This alone is a hero-grade item powerful enough to define an era. But……'

Glug-glug.

Bright-red blood pours from the waterskin, filling the golden chalice.

'If you pour deer blood obtainable only on the first tutorial field into the hidden golden chalice, the hidden piece is completed.'

When the blood reaches the brim, golden light bursts from the chalice and floods the cave.

'It's finally complete. A legendary-grade item beyond hero-grade!'

"Kirik."

"Huh?"

At the strange sound and the presence behind him, he whips his head around—only for cold metal to press against his cheek even faster. Kim Cheol-su's head is forced to stop, but he still catches a glimpse.

'A mask……!!'

He couldn't see clearly, but the stranger behind him was definitely wearing something like a mask.

My body blends with the surroundings. Shadow had been signaling so insistently that I left the Skeletons on auto-hunt and followed. The guy started doing something weird—hugging and stroking a giant rock for several minutes like he was trying to mate with it.

'Rock fetish? Weird tastes.'

I thought I'd lived a pretty normal life, but apparently I'm still in for surprises. Gr-gr-grk! The rock apparently accepts his advances and suddenly begins to open. I wait a little longer. Bright light starts leaking from inside the cave. Killing my presence, I carefully step in. The man who had been hugging the rock is now hugging what looks like a large chalice. I walk up behind him and press the iron rod I brought from the tutorial waiting room against his cheek. His body goes rigid.

"Hey. Look straight ahead if you don't want to die."

"You…… are you from the Righteous Thieves?"

I have no idea what nonsense he's spouting. I put on the iron mask I bought at the general store just in case and lowered my voice, but "Righteous Thieves" is new to me. Maybe there's a Hong Gil-dong living in the tower. He sounds so serious that I decide to play along.

"Sharp. I'm a righteous thief."

"You've been tailing me this whole time?"

"You know your stuff. Then you also know you have to hand over that chamber pot ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you're holding, right?"

"Kuh……! Do you know how hard I worked to get here!"

Veins bulge on his arms as he clutches the item tighter. He looks so desperate that I should probably just send him off quickly.

"Support magic."

"N-no!"

"Sleep."

Thwack!

"Ghk."

I smack the back of his head and he face-plants into the ground.

Chik, chik.

"Haaah— What the hell is all this fuss about?"

Up close it's just a flashy, large, flat chalice. Its size easily exceeds a thousand cc, so "washbasin" fits better than "chalice."

"Is this an onahole?"

Ring!

No ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠options, no description.

"Hmm."

Chalices are usually for holding holy water. Still, legendary grade means there has to be something more. Ring!

While I'm examining the chalice, the scoreboard appears. I only let three skeletons loose, yet those crazy boneheads racked up over ten thousand points by slaughtering players. Even excluding the rare special deer, that means they cut down more than a hundred people. I have the skeletons to thank for my score, but second place has an impressive number too.

"Hmm."

After a short wait, my body feels weightless and I'm transported somewhere. The room is about five pyeong in size, furnished with a bed and blankets. This must be the Rest Room. It's nice, but they moved me without any further explanation. The angel said we could use points to buy things, but I have no idea how.

"Angel."

[The tutorial angel refuses the call.]

"What?"

It rejects me in seconds. Even I might get emotionally hurt at this rate.

"Angel."

[The tutorial angel refuses the call.]

"Come here or die."

[The tutorial angel is terrified.]

It should at least tell me how to spend points. I must have hit it too much. The stage-eight Red Skeletons were fine, but when the stage-nine Shadow used its ability I could feel my energy draining. I need to buy mana-related items with these points ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠fast, but the angel is useless.

"I'm hungry!"

Baek Seol pokes her head out of my pocket, having been napping inside.

"Our little fluffball, did you sleep well?"

"Eung!"

"Want some ramen?"

"Jo-a!"

Baek Seol dives back into the pocket and rolls around. She seems to be in a good mood after a proper nap.

"This should make amazing ramen, right?"

"Eung!"

I stroke her head ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with a finger as she peeks out again. She closes her eyes contentedly. Looks like she's playing peek-a-boo with her head.

Glug-glug-glug.

I set the Chalice of Life on the portable gas burner, fill it with water, and it actually looks pretty decent. The wide mouth makes it perfect as a ramen pot. I add the soup base and wait. The water boils vigorously, filling the small room with the delicious smell of ramen.

"Baek Seol, time to eat."

"Shin-na!"

When I scoop broth for her, it sparkles strangely.

"Euing?"

Slurp.

I taste a spoonful straight from the ladle. It doesn't taste much different from regular ramen.

"Ooh, this is Life Ramen broth……?"

[The tutorial administrator requests a visit.]

It refused when I called, but now it's making a fuss.

"I'm eating. Come later."

[The tutorial administrator requests a visit.]

[The tutorial administrator requests a visit.]

[The tutorial administrator requests a visit.]

[The tutorial administrator requests a visit.]