Chapter 139
Chapter 139
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 139
Chapter Title: Low Blood Pressure Remedy
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Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The trial of the Guardian Deity Vajra Guardian begins Even the sound of it tilting its head back is enough to tear my eardrums.
At a dizzying height where I can't even make out its face, the giant clutches at the empty air.
Kiiiiiek—!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian opens the trial's gate The Vajra Guardian stops moving after flinging open something invisible.
A bizarre energy swirls in the empty air.
Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [The King's Selection Trial begins] Rumble—!
The system chime echoes with a massive roar from inside the invisible door.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Devas utterly despise Heavenly Peach A wave of hostility crashes over me, choking the breath from my lungs.
It feels less like hostility and more like pure malice.
"Urk!"
My stomach heats up, and something surges up my throat. I spit it out—bright red.
Fishy.
I was just standing here minding my own business, but they started whispering among themselves and pulling this weird shit.
I want to smash every last one of their heads.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Battle Ghost Asura says he'll smash the Devas' heads in her place Just when breathing feels impossible, a hearty laugh booms, and my body relaxes.
While my body eases, everything else turns to pure will flying at me, scrambling my brain.
"You fucking... Come at me, you piece of shit!"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Asura greatly approves of Heavenly Peach Asura supports Heavenly Peach's path Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Four Dragons of the Jade Emperor's Palace despise Heavenly Peach The Azure Dragon of the East despises Heavenly Peach The White Dragon of the West despises Heavenly Peach The Red Dragon of the South despises Heavenly Peach The Black Dragon of the North despises Heavenly Peach Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Garuda, the bird that hunts snakes with the sun at its back, drools at the sight of Cheongwol's child Garuda says he will support Heavenly Peach if she offers Cheongwol's child as tribute "Cheongwol?"
Warmth emanates from my clothes. I rummage in my pocket, and white ears pop out.
"Baeksul, there you are?"
"Yeah!"
I was worried she'd get hurt by the unknown energy, but she looks fine.
"Is this who they're talking about?"
I reach into my pocket, and Baeksul rubs her face against my hand.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Garuda nods vigorously, drooling "Do you know about this guy?"
I flip off the massive invisible door I feel with my whole body, and a blazing bird shape shimmers faintly.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Garuda expresses doubt "Don't let me catch sight of you, you shitty birdbrain. If we cross paths, I'll deep-fry you in oil at 180 degrees for ten minutes."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Garuda is enraged! "Enraged? So what. What're you gonna do about it?"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Asura bursts into laughter Asura utterly supports Heavenly Peach Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Mahoraga the Great Python, who severs delusion, supports Heavenly Peach ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Four Dragons mock the Great Python Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Gandharva the Medicine God, protector of music and children, supports Heavenly Peach ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Devas frown Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Kalavinka the Heavenly Paradise Bird, lover of beautiful melodies, approves of Heavenly Peach's voice Kalavinka supports Heavenly Peach Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The man-eating Rakshasa supports Heavenly Peach "Scram."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The man-eating Rakshasa despises Heavenly Peach With that weirdo out of the way, the Vajra Guardian moves once more.
Groooan—!
The massive invisible door begins to close.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The War God Asura King declares his support for Heavenly Peach Gandharva King of Upholding the Nation with Pure Eyes declares his support for Heavenly Peach Kalavinka King of Benevolent Wisdom's Radiant Heaven declares his support for Heavenly Peach Mahoraga King of Victorious Wisdom's Majestic Crest declares his support for Heavenly Peach ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Asura offers Heavenly Peach the seat of successor Boom! Rumble—!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Mara Papiyas bares his teeth at Asura Asura averts his gaze Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [The Eight Legions' Selection Trial ends] Groooan—!
Thud!
Just before the massive door slams shut, a tiny sparkling orb pops out from between.
The orb floats above the giant's palm.
Clouds shift, and I feel eyes on me.
It's looking at me.
I crane my neck every which way, but clouds block its face.
"What're you looking at?"
The moment I speak, something enormous plummets from the sky.
—KABOOOM!!!
"..."
As the dust settles, a gigantic object is buried deep in the ground.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian says to strike his finger with all your might "F-Finger? That?"
It's like a skyscraper standing tall.
"Ptoo. Don't regret it."
No time to think.
I just want out of here ASAP.
[Gale Wind]
Bang—!
I stomp the ground hard; surroundings blur as I accelerate.
Foot plant.
Boom!
"Hup!"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [Heavy Strike infuses the blow] [Super Heavy Strike!]
Crack—!!
"What?"
[Super Heavy Strike!]
Crack!!
"..."
Like an ant punching a human with all it's got.
"Hey, you little shit. You mocking me?"
Crack! Crack! Crack!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian says your fist has too many stray thoughts "How can punching have stray thoughts?!"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian says to calm your mind Crack! Crack!
"Ugh, fuck."
Feels like I'm a kid again.
These so-called gods are all selfish as hell.
Forget doing well or not—all I can do is suck on a finger.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian says to sit comfortably and close your eyes Now it wants me to do all sorts of crap.
I plop down as the Vajra Guardian instructs and close my eyes. Dizziness floods in.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian says upright power must contain wisdom "Uh... Huh?"
My body sways on its own.
Suddenly, the dizziness vanishes. Even with eyes closed, light brightens before me.
It's cold.
I open my eyes. Snowflakes drift from the forest sky.
"Just split it fairly!"
"How with this beat-up axe!"
"We'll all freeze if you don't stop fighting!"
Snow falls amid five grown men yelling around a log.
Slow steps crunch underfoot.
Baeksul would love this.
I check my pocket, but Baeksul is gone without a trace.
"Huh?"
They notice my footsteps and turn to me, mid-argument.
"Why're you all fighting?"
"We're about to freeze, and these greedy bastards—"
"Who's the greedy one here?!"
They glance at me briefly before resuming their bickering.
From listening, the village firewood is communally managed.
But at winter's end, reserves ran out. Snowmelt soaks the trees—no chopping possible.
Hence, five men fighting over one big log.
"Just split it into five pieces."
One man holds up his axe.
"It's so worn, it'll break after two swings."
"Hmm. Easy problem."
The Vajra Guardian yapped about wisdom, so it expects a wise solution.
I approach, hand out. He grumpily hands over the axe.
"How to split into five with two swings?"
"Won't work anyway. Let her try."
"Watch closely."
Crack!
The axe swings; the log splits in two with a dry snap.
Well-dried wood.
Gather the halves, swing again.
Crack!
Four firewood pieces appear; the axe head flies off and embeds far away.
"See? Broke."
Only a rotten handle remains.
"Now split this fairly."
"Wha... Lady, how do five guys share four pieces?"
"No. I mean split this fairly."
I raise the handle; their eyes fix on it.
"How with that..."
"Like this."
Crack.
Grip tightens; fingers dig into the handle.
I raise it behind my head toward the nagging man.
"2-circle stun spell. Stun!"
"Argh!!"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian is aghast Mid-swing,
Whether startled by my spinning eyes or the rotten handle, the Vajra Guardian intervenes—vision blacks out.
Still, satisfied with the trial. I wipe my nose; even eyes closed, I feel its exasperated gaze.
"What? I did great!"
Knock out one, the other four share nicely. Done.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian feels a headache Vision brightens again.
"What now."
A serene lake lies right ahead.
Sploosh!
Water erupts; an old man pops out.
"Heh heh, you lost your axe head."
"Who're you?"
"The mountain spirit, here to return your drowned axe head."
White robes and beard suit him. He extends a hand.
"Is this your axe head? Or this one?"
Golden axe heads gleam in each hand.
"Hmm."
I grab both. Left one's way heavier.
"The left one's real."
"Wha... A lie..."
"Hold on!"
"...?"
Even here, "stop" works.
"Grandpa, check this out."
"What..."
His eyes widen.
"Left is much heavier, right? The right's gold-plated. Probably filled with silver or copper."
"..."
"I'm a gold expert. Same volume, gold's way heavier than silver or copper."
Now the mountain spirit grandpa eyes the axe head in my hand.
"Gold's density is insane—heavy per volume. Fill fakes with tungsten."
"Oh..."
"Tungsten's a kilo for 100k won; gold's millions."
He's nodding along, hooked.
"Tungsten matches gold's density, so..."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian clutches his neck Mid-explanation, vision blacks out.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian feels high blood pressure "Ah, what the."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian skips the trial The Vajra Guardian says to breathe calmly and regulate Urgent tone; I steady my breathing.
"Hoo—"
Long while regulating as instructed.
No further orders come.
Mind wanders blankly.
Before tasty food, excited Baeksul wiggles her butt, fluffy tail swaying.
"You must dispel stray thoughts" How?
Can't grasp how to erase natural thoughts.
Forcing it, others rush in.
"You must dispel delusions" Force out one, another hits.
"Peel away afflictions layer by layer" Clear delusions; thought of clearing returns.
Impossible.
"Hoo—"
Time passes; mind quiets, save occasional advice.
Clear, clear, clear again.
"The flow of power is the flow of noble will" "Upright power must be unshakable" Clear incoming thoughts.
"Do not chase brute force" "Firm will brings power in tow" Layer by layer.
"Vast wisdom is radiance" "Afflictions are mere pebbles" Clear endlessly; Vajra Guardian's voice fades.
Clear stray thoughts, again.
Clear grating breaths.
Clear all, even time's flow.
...
..
.
"That is purity, selflessness" "Ah!"
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Vajra Guardian smiles benevolently Everything rushes back roughly.
Light seeps into the faded world.
Grass rustles.
Cool wind blows.
Time resumes.
All returns in an instant.
"...No clue."
Coming to, Baeksul from my pocket climbs my shoulder, rubbing my cheek.
"Baeksul."
"Yeah!"
"How long was I out?"
"Long time."
"Huh? How long?"
Before her answer, air shimmers.
Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ The Inwang Vajra Guardian who lifts all things in the heavens supports Heavenly Peach Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Mara Papiyas, ruler of the Sixth Heaven of the Desire Realm in the Six Paths of Reincarnation, supports Heavenly Peach Ding!
⚔ STATUS ⚔ [Inherit Asura's Fierce God Evil-Slaying potential] [Inherit Asura's Heaven-Splitting potential] [Inherit Gandharva's Medicine Spirit potential] [Inherit Kalavinka's Heavenly Vault potential] [Inherit Mahoraga's Molting potential] [Inherit Vajra Guardian's Heavenly Might potential] Ding!
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [Inherit fragment of Mara Papiyas's Demonic Will] Ding!
📜 NEW QUEST 📜 «Cheongwol's child Baeksul supports Peach♡»
"Huh?"
The orb orbiting the Vajra Guardian's palm absorbs swirling energies and descends slowly to me.
Up close, it dissolves into light, embracing my body.
Ding!
⚔ STATUS ⚔ [No-Self Wisdom King Art] ◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ 💬 Comments <Han Ga-eul starts broadcasting>
"Come on in, my babies."
— ⚔️ Han Boss nice to see you [⚔️Han Boss nice to see you] — ⚔️Where is this? [⚔️Where is this?] "It's a gym."
A massive gym stretches behind me, too vast to see end to end.
"These guys must be loaded. Renting the whole place."
More people inside than expected.
Familiar faces—probably big names drawn by first trial fame.
"What to do first. There's climbing walls, arm-wrestling machines over there."
— ⚔️Ordered chicken lol [⚔️Ordered chicken lol]