Chapter 114
Chapter 114
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 114
Chapter Title: Munch Munch
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Munch munch.
⚔️ Chat — Viewer Sorry sorry sorry "What's wrong? Is it time for my babies to take their meds?"
— Viewer Sorry for sending a walking disaster "Argh."
— Viewer Wahhh — Viewer Why China? "They sent invitations. Five of them."
— Viewer ???? — Viewer Bangjang-ryeon is gonna cause trouble! — Viewer Please no, Ga-eul! "No, I haven't done anything yet."
— Viewer Whaaat? — Viewer Ultra emergency!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Viewer Fuck, shut it down!! — Viewer Mayday mayday, not enough dogs! "Ugh, this is dizzying."
Thud thud.
Sounds of pounding on the iron door from outside.
Chaos inside and out.
I left the hysterical viewers behind and headed outside. A silhouette was visible through the iron gate.
Creak.
As the grating iron gate swung open, a large man handed over a bag.
"You took it for me. Thanks, Albert."
"No can do, miss."
"Want to eat together?"
"No can do."
"Don't like hamburgers?"
"I do, but no can do."
"Extra cheese makes your arteries no can do?"
"No can do."
"Apologize to your arteries once and eat with me."
"No can do."
It felt like talking to a wall.
Even so, since he admitted he liked them, he must really love hamburgers.
Unlike objects, people have to be learned one by one like this.
I enjoyed getting to know people bit by bit.
"But why do you keep saying no? Were you watching my stream by any chance?"
"...No can do."
Albert, already curt at the best of times, now seemed like a total block of stone.
No matter what I said, he just repeated "no can do."
"So you were watching."
"Miss."
"Yes?"
Albert began to speak with a grave expression.
"It's been a short time, but I've been watching over you from the side. From my position, it didn't matter who you were. I just needed to successfully complete my bodyguard duties."
"Yes."
"At first, I thought it was a job protecting a reckless young lady stirring up a loan shark gang. But it wasn't."
"I am reckless, though?"
"No reckless young lady can take down five armed thugs barehanded, no matter where she goes."
"I fought with a dildo."
"Miss, even elite special forces with top-tier combat training, or seasoned fighters in the ring, can't subdue even one opponent with a weapon barehanded—not to mention five. That's reality."
"Well, that's true, but so what?"
Albert's face grew more serious than ever, and his mouth slowly opened.
"You are..."
"Yes, me?"
"An alien?"
Pfft.
A laugh burst out involuntarily.
I never dreamed he'd say something like that with such a straight face.
"Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to laugh."
"It's fine."
Was it my imagination, or did Albert's face flush a bit?
"Albert, you said you were military, right?"
"Yes."
"Ever stationed at Area 51?"
Albert's face reddened even more. Not my imagination, then.
"Miss, I'm not some alien conspiracy theorist who believes in Roswell."
"But now it seems like you do?"
"..."
"No point telling you since you wouldn't believe me anyway. Maybe someday I'll explain."
"...Yes, understood."
"Then have a hamburger."
I handed him one of the cheese-loaded burgers from the bag. Albert, who'd been staring, slowly reached out.
"Don't keep suffering outside. Come inside, or sit on that rooftop chair over there."
"It's fine."
"In my country, people don't look kindly on eating standing outside. We can't draw attention, right? Eat inside."
"Thank you."
The massive Albert bowed his head and stepped through the iron gate.
"Snowy!"
Seconds after calling, Snowy came bounding over and into my arms.
"Snowy, you've seen him a lot, right? This is Albert."
Snowy extended a front paw, and Albert bumped it with his fist.
"Nice to meet you."
It looked like David and Goliath bumping fists.
Ding! "Snowy, want to eat outside with Albert?"
"Yeah!"
I'd seen it with Grandpa Arthur too, but Snowy really seemed to like making friends.
"Eat with Snowy outside. I'll handle China alone."
"No can do."
He refused firmly as ever.
Probably because Albert's worries aligned with Grandpa Herman's.
"Hmm, Albert. What happened to those punks I left with you?"
"I investigated the guy called Instructor from Smile Happiness Loanshark. They were just low-level grunts, but we confirmed they have an upper organization dealing drugs."
One word in Albert's report pierced my ears.
"Drugs?"
"Yes. They're mimicking triad structure, so intel isn't perfect."
"Fucking junkies came all the way here to cause shit."
"They're getting drugs from Hong Mun and selling them. Hong Mun's drugs are sickening countries everywhere."
I had zero good memories of tangling with junkies.
"Just leave 'em be. They'll snort their powder and play among themselves. Idiots who pay for that crap are the real losers."
"Understood. Investigation ends here."
"Yeah, thanks for the hard work."
"No problem. Oh, and."
Albert took a bite of his hamburger, swallowed, and continued.
"We confirmed they're using kids as sales fronts."
"Kids? That's crossing the line."
"Happens a lot in areas with bad security or rundown spots. The Illinois I grew up in was awful too."
"Chicago?"
"Yes, my hometown."
I'd tried to ignore whether they snorted or OD'd, but they kept scraping at my nerves.
What pissed me off most was them feeding off Hong Mun's scraps.
"Guess I'll check it out myself. Send the info to my phone."
"Dangerous."
Click.
I reached behind my back, pulled out, and metal clinked.
"Ta-da."
Albert's gaze locked on the assault rifle in my hand, eyes widening.
"Turns out I'm an alien."
"Not... magic, so really an alien?"
Whether his emotions were dry or suppressed, I'd always thought his face was stiff, but he was pretty fun.
After letting him gawk, I reached behind again and pulled out.
"Poof! Gone, right?"
"Ah, no..."
Plop.
Lettuce fell from Albert's half-eaten burger.
Not some card trick, but a 7.62mm assault rifle—even trained soldiers avoid in prolonged fights due to weight.
Loaded with a drum mag full of heavy 7.62mm rounds.
Of course he'd react to it vanishing right in front of him.
"How does something that big..."
"Shh. Know what happens if you learn an alien's secret, Albert?"
Albert, sauce on his lips, slowly shook his head.
"Wanna find out?"
He shook vigorously, out of character.
Probably an alien nut as a kid.
"Finish eating with Snowy. Viewers are waiting, so back to the room."
"Yes."
"And send the info."
"Got it."
Albert's professionalism was finally cracking a bit.
Military life was orders and obedience; his next job was combat-focused too. Made sense.
"Snowy, play and eat with Albert."
"Yeah."
I left them and returned to the room, where rowdy viewers awaited.
"Miss me?"
— Viewer Bangjang-ryeon!!! As if we'd leave — Viewer Why ignore us? Why ignore us? Why ignore us? — Viewer Snowy vanished too suddenly "Talked with the burger delivery guy. Sorry it took so long."
— Viewer Why act all down? Pissed-ryeon — Viewer Foxy-ryeon pretty so forgiven "Sorry..."
— Viewer No biggie if late sometimes, but y'all raging made Bangjang sad — Viewer Viewer mood sucks, time for a refresh "You'll let it slide? Thanks, love."
— Viewer ??? — Viewer lololololol — Viewer Newbie fell for it lolol — Viewer Bangjang-ryeon has 500 tails, kids Rustle.
I pulled a hamburger from the bag.
A sturdy one with extra patty and double cheese.
"Ta-da. Sorry, Arteries Burger."
— Viewer Naming skill lol — Viewer I'd shove Dogeza at arteries "Let's eat."
— Viewer Ya let's go Ariel Land donated 10,000 won Tteut burger "Tteut burger?"
— Viewer Lmaooo our Ga-eul does aegyo too? — Viewer Cutiepants lol "Ah, damn. Just read it as is. Ariel Land that repeat offender."
Now as a streamer, I habitually read donation messages, falling for viewer pranks constantly.
— Viewer lolol so cute Bzzz.
"Hold on."
While bantering with viewers, my phone on the desk lit up.
The long message was drug info from Albert.
I swiped the screen with one hand and took a huge bite of the burger.
"Ah, munch munch."
— Viewer Munch? — Viewer What? Swallow first — Viewer lol eating good ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Han Ga-eul has ended the broadcast — Viewer ????? — Viewer What ⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Han Winter has started the broadcast — Viewer Kiyaaaa Bangjang-ryeon causing trouble!! — Viewer No way munch means it's cold? — Viewer Fuck ultra emergency!!!!!!!!!!! — Viewer Pls stop being cold you crazy bitch! ◇◇◇◆◇◇◇