As If My Youth Were a Love Comedy
My youth love comedy, my ass.
Even if an outcast drops into a love comedy world, he’s still an outcast.
Romance is a story reserved for the kind of guys who can actually pull it off.
For a hardcore otaku like me, pure love is a completely impossible tale.
Welcome to Is Your Love Comedy Really Wrong? — The Heroine Who Appeared Is Actually Your Childhood Friend You Broke Up With?!
Yeah. Back when I first transmigrated into this world, I was still full of hope.
Virgin Slayer
Enjoy your youth love comedy while deflowering virgin heroines!
Anyone who transmigrated into an eroge love comedy world would be filled with hope, right?
But reality was merciless.
Even in a love comedy world, you couldn’t just start having sex with a girl whose affection meter sat at absolute zero.
I couldn’t even strike up a conversation. Every forced attempt only earned me more dislike.
After a full year of college life, I finally became the kind of human who had completely given up on romance.
Anyway.
Today, just like always, I was sitting alone in the corner of a university classroom after lectures, rolling gacha on my phone.
Rattle—.
The sliding door opened and someone stepped into the classroom.
“Keitaku, playing otaku games again today?”
Hair that shimmered with a golden glow.
A crop top that left her waist and navel completely bare.
Hot pants that showed off her long legs, plus a bag dripping with countless accessories.
A beauty whose looks could rival any celebrity perched herself on top of my desk.
Her plump thighs squashed against the wood and spread out.
…Her name was Yua Yano.
The most popular gyaru at the university.
And the bitch who never missed a chance to torment me.
For the record, the nickname she used for me—Keitaku—was a mash-up of my name, Keita, and “otaku.”
“Is staring at those little data scraps actually fun? …And those tits are unrealistically huge. Ha, no wonder an otaku like you loves this crap.”
She crossed her legs right in front of my face, propped her chin on her hand, and stared down at me with sharp contempt.
Through the gap of those short hot pants, a flash of pure white skin peeked out.
I wondered if she knew.
That even the characters in this gacha game couldn’t beat Yua Yano’s face or her chest size.
“Keitaku, you gonna answer me?”
Beyond the game screen where cute girls were sprinting and shooting guns, Yua Yano’s massive breasts swayed.
“Hey, you ignoring me?”
A cold gaze cut through the bounce of her chest.
“….”
I finally paused the game and shot to my feet.
I stood up in a flash of irritation, but the second I was upright my brain went completely blank.
An outcast like me had the instinct not to mouth off to a popular girl burned into my DNA.
In pure size I was easily twice as big as Yua Yano.
But the aura of a girl sitting at the absolute top of the social caste was something I could never touch.
“Oh? Getting cocky?”
“I-I just need to use the bathroom….”
In the end I fled to the restroom with my head bowed low.
“Fucking bitch…!!”
I locked myself in a stall of the deserted corner bathroom and furiously jerked off in pure rage.
“Why the hell is it always just me…!”
Yua Yano.
She was warm and friendly to everyone else, yet she alone treated me like dirt.
She went out of her way to follow me around and use me as her emotional trash can.
“All she’s got is those stupid huge tits…!”
I wanted to say it to her face, but Yua Yano was a being I could never hope to reach.
She’d given the student representative speech on entrance day, her popularity was sky-high.
She never missed an A+ and held the top spot in every class.
Right now she was serving as student council president, and rumors even said she was about to debut in the entertainment industry.
The only revenge a guy like me could take against someone like her was to stare at nudes of blonde beauties who looked just like her while pumping my 26 cm monster cock in furious rage.
“…Shit.”
It was so unfair.
I couldn’t even get a girlfriend, yet my daily life was being bullied by the most popular gyaru in school.
I still couldn’t understand why the hell I’d been transmigrated into a love comedy eroge of all things.
“…Guess I should just go home.”
After finishing one round, I muttered my complaints and stepped out of the bathroom.
“Keitaku. I thought you’d gone home already, but you were right here?”
“!!!”
I locked eyes with the gyaru and her overwhelming chest.
“W-why are you here….”
Why was Yua Yano standing here?
Even if she liked tormenting me, there was no reason for her to come looking for me after classes were over.
“Keitaku, you going to the MT tomorrow?”
That single question instantly cleared up my confusion.
Asking if I was going to the MT….
Could this be… a green light?
Going to an MT with the guy you like was a classic cliché, right?
Maybe the whole time Yua Yano had been bullying me, she’d actually liked me….
“We’re short one person on the student council this time, so I need a student to help run things. You’re helping.”
…Yeah, of course.
The only reason she wanted me at the MT was because she needed a pack mule.
I wanted to spit “I’m not fucking going, you bitch” right then and there, but I held it in.
The second I refused, there was no telling what kind of revenge Yua Yano would cook up.
“O-okay….”
“Good. See you then.”
She delivered the message and left.
That was it?
I was sure there’d be some extra abuse—like “If you hit on any girls at the MT I’ll kill you,” or “Just carry the bags and go home.”
“…….”
This wasn’t actually some romance flag, was it?
“And if you’re gonna jerk off, do it at home. It’s gross.”
“….”
I scratched my head awkwardly as she left that parting shot.
…So she knew I’d been jacking off.
And so the next day arrived.
I ended up half-forced into an MT I’d never planned on attending and had never experienced before.
I showed up at the MT location right on time.
“…There’s nobody here.”
This resort was definitely where the MT was supposed to happen.
Yet there wasn’t a single person who looked like a student from our school.
Don’t tell me I was the only one who showed up?
I’d arrived exactly on schedule and still felt like I’d been scammed.
…I’m going home.
My own fault for trusting that bitch even a little.
I’d just go home, look at some nudes, and jerk off.
The moment I started down the hallway to leave the resort, a familiar face appeared.
Those striking features and perfect proportions visible even from a distance.
Clothes that looked casually thrown on yet somehow created an expensive atmosphere.
Why the hell was Yua Yano here of all places?
If you’re a gyaru, act a little more irresponsible, damn it.
Why do you have to spawn the second I try to go home?
“Keitaku?”
“…Y-you’ve got the wrong person.”
“Where do you think you’re going.”
“Ghk…!”
I tried to casually cover my face and slip away, but Yua grabbed the strap of my bag.
“We’re completely screwed right now.”
Screwed?
Besides the fact that I was currently caught by her, what else could possibly be screwed?
“The bus the other students were on got into a fender-bender, so they can’t make it.”
A fender-bender that kept every other student from coming?
“…Then why are you here?”
I asked how the student council president standing right in front of me had managed to arrive.
“Me? I… took the subway.”
Amazingly, the gyaru student council president had diligently ridden the subway all the way to the MT venue.
“Anyway, Keitaku. The only people who made it to the MT are the two of us.”
“…….”
So to summarize the current situation:
I was stuck alone with Yua Yano—the most popular gyaru bully in school—for a private one-on-one MT?
Haha, I’m going insane.
I curse you, love comedy world.
You thought I’d be happy just because you threw this scenario at me…?
…Okay, I was a tiny bit happy.
No matter how much she tormented me, Yua Yano was genuinely beautiful.
Spending private time alone with her was enough to make even my heart race.
Sadly, not a single romantic vibe flowed between us.
I was nothing more than a glorified photographer, after all.
“Take them properly. If even one shot looks ugly, you’re dead, Keitaku.”
“Y-yeah.”
What could I do?
If it pissed me off that much, I shouldn’t have been born a total loser.
If I’d just been a little better looking….
‘Hey… Keitaku? Let’s take a picture together.’
‘Oh, thanks, Yua.’
‘Hohoho!’
‘Hahaha!’
That was the kind of scene I should have been living.
In reality I spent the entire day taking photos of Yua Yano.
“…Haa. Haa….”
Time passed into early evening.
My stamina completely spent, I collapsed in a corner of the resort and sucked in ragged breaths.
I’m gonna die for real.
This felt several times harder than competing in a judo tournament.
Why the hell did we have to climb all the way to a mountain peak just to take pictures?
And of course she made me carry every single bag.
I turned my head slightly and saw Yua Yano squatting down, tapping away on her phone.
Between her hot pants, black lace panties peeked out suggestively.
So-called “lucky underwear.”
Judging by that, she’d clearly planned to settle things with someone she liked at today’s MT.
Breasts and an ass that wouldn’t fit in one hand.
Healthy thighs and hips.
Looks that rivaled any idol.
If the MT had gone normally today, she definitely would have….
Fuck, I’m so jealous it hurts.
“Keitaku.”
“……….”
“Hey, Keitaku?”
Her voice calling me made me turn my head.
From my position lying down, her enormous chest half-hid her face.
She was definitely about to send me on another errand.
“…….”
I couldn’t take it anymore.
Even a total loser like me would start thrashing if you kept stepping on him forever. I’d prove it.
“Here.”
Contrary to my expectations, she held out a can of beer.
What did that mean?
Was she suggesting we drink together?
Yua Yano? With me?
Wasn’t she supposed to be thinking about going home already?
“Thanks…?”
I sat up in a daze and took the beer.
Just the two of us left in this huge resort.
The distance between us shrinking inside the lonely space.
Pssht—! Gulp gulp—!
I desperately poured the beer down my throat to cool my overheating head.
When I frowned at the sharp bite of cold alcohol, she let out a little snicker.
“Keitaku. How’s your first MT feel?”
“…….”
My first MT, huh.
Getting dragged around by Yua, taking pictures. Taking more pictures…. And still more pictures.
It had been less of an MT and more of a private date with Yua Yano, but still.
Honestly… it hadn’t been that bad.
It felt like my dead youth had been lit on fire again.
“…It wasn’t bad.”
“Hmm~. I figured a hardcore otaku like Keitaku wouldn’t have any interest in real girls.”
Pssht—. She cracked open her own beer and took a sip.
I could hear the sound of beer sliding past her lips.
…I’m seriously going crazy.
Seeing this gyaru bully in light clothes looking so relaxed made blood slowly rush to my lower half.
My 26 cm monster finished loading.
A tent that looked ready to burst through my jeans.
I awkwardly pressed my thighs together to hide it.
“Hey, Keitaku.”
Yua Yano closed the distance with an intensity that looked ready to devour me on the spot.
Her lips carried not a sweet scent, but the thick aroma of alcohol.
I instinctively backed away until I was finally cornered against the wall.
I raised both hands in a guard stance and trembled.
“Pfft.”
“…?”
“Pffft…! Kya-hahaha!!”
Yua Yano slapped my shoulders hard and burst out laughing.
“Ah, seriously…. Keitaku, you’re so fucking cute….”
After muttering something I couldn’t understand, she leaned in close to my frozen form.
“Keitaku, do you want to have sex with me?”
“……!!!”
She whispered seductively right into my ear.
“Be honest…. You were just thinking you wanted to fuck me right now, weren’t you?”
Yua Yano’s finger lightly poked the bulging front of my pants.
Her touch swept exactly across the head of my cock.
“Well? Wanna do it with me?”
“….”
“There’s nobody else coming here.”
Rustle——. Yua Yano grabbed the hem of her top and lifted it.