Cut Marks (8)
Cut Marks (8)
Late last night—or early this morning, in that hour between night and dawn—Yoon Seol-hwa received a call.
The caller was none other than Han Jae-jung.
Her former lover. The man she still loved today, and would never forget no matter what tomorrow brought.
And he had contacted her. Yoon Seol-hwa startled like a girl receiving a letter from a long-held crush and grew tense.
She couldn’t help it. Since seeing him at the hospital, she hadn’t once laid eyes on him—hadn’t even heard his voice or seen a word of his writing.
The man who had fled while Yoon Seol-hwa lay injured by the Scutum monster.
Watching him run off before his own wounds had properly healed, Yoon Seol-hwa became certain.
‘I make him uncomfortable.’
It was painfully obvious. And she knew the reason. That, too, was obvious.
‘He was cursed at because of me... anyone would be sick of it. It’s my fault. I’m the one who... ’
Simply for having been Yoon Seol-hwa’s boyfriend, he’d suffered insults he couldn’t even bear to keep in his heart. Worse still, he had redirected every insult aimed at her onto himself, then went into hiding.
With a note telling her never to look for him.
His promise to return had vanished like a soap bubble, never kept, and attempts to locate him—resorting even to illegal means—had failed.
Even in their chance encounters, he consistently seemed uncomfortable.
Han Jae-jung didn’t want to see Yoon Seol-hwa. She’d had no choice but to believe it.
Tonight’s call had come out of that very context.
“... Seol-hwa, can we meet tomorrow?”
“Yes! Yes! Of course! I can meet you right now! Where should I go?!”
Han Jae-jung wanted to see Yoon Seol-hwa!
“No, it’s too late right now... tomorrow... “
“Tomorrow, right?! Ah, okay! I’ll be there! I’ll definitely be there!”
“Uh, yeah... “
“Even if a monster attacks or my house catches fire, I’ll be there!”
“That would be a valid reason not to come, actually. Heh—no, fine. If you want to go that far, who’s going to stop you.”
Han Jae-jung laughed softly, the same way he used to. That laugh, unchanged from the old days. There was no trace of reluctance toward her in his voice.
There had never been any! He didn’t hate me!
Her heart pounded hard enough to shake her eardrums.
Even after the call ended, the feeling didn’t change.
Yoon Seol-hwa lay on her bed, heart racing, looking forward to tomorrow.
‘He doesn’t hate me...!’
She waited a long while for the night to pass.
Before she knew it, the sun had risen over the world.
“... Huh?”
Yoon Seol-hwa had pulled an all-nighter on the day of the appointment!
**
Yoon Seol-hwa had her hat pulled low, dark circles rimming her eyes. The haggard look in her gaze transformed into a decadent aesthetic simply because a beauty like her possessed it. Han Jae-jung, however, couldn’t welcome the sight.
’... She must’ve been struggling this whole time.’
He felt guilt when he saw the face of someone he’d turned away from.
‘Seeing Jae-jung’s face is like getting my eyes blessed... I’m so happy.’
It never crossed his mind that she might have been too excited about the appointment to sleep.
Yoon Seol-hwa had stayed up all night for the kind of reason a child has before a field trip. She’d worried she might be too sleepy to listen properly when she met Han Jae-jung, but thankfully that seemed unlikely.
‘Look at his eyes, his nose... sharp and fine. So fine. Might he be prettier than me? No, might he be the prettiest person in the world?’
Seeing Han Jae-jung’s face, healthy and whole after so long, sent Yoon Seol-hwa’s sleepiness instantly fleeing. Though that was purely mental—her body still craved rest—
‘This is welfare, this is happiness! Jae-jung, you’re so handsome! The best!!! I love you!!!!’
—for Yoon Seol-hwa, roaring inwardly, no obstacle mattered at all.
“So... Seol-hwa.”
“Yes? Ah, no. Mm, yeah! Wh-what is it?”
While managing her expression, Yoon Seol-hwa had inadvertently assumed a cold and melancholy air.
‘Maybe he really didn’t want to see me after all? As in, how dare I show my face here now? Or maybe he’s caught up in some strange guilt again...? He hasn’t done a single thing wrong, but he’s such a foolishly kind person... ’
Seeing that, Han Jae-jung guessed that Yoon Seol-hwa’s suffering had surfaced on her face.
“You’ve... had a hard time, haven’t you?”
“Ah, yeah... it was hard, but... now I’m okay. Really!”
She meant it.
‘Right, what do I matter? As long as Jae-jung is happy and pretty, everything’s good.’
The joy of reunion and the oddly high spirits that come after an all-nighter combined, creating a synergy that spun her thoughts into a bizarrely positive loop.
“Well, Seol-hwa, the reason I looked for you today... is to apologize.”
“Apologize?”
What for? The sin of being too handsome? The sin of stealing my heart? Yes, being so breathtakingly good-looking that it inspires jealousy could be called a sin, she supposed.
To Yoon Seol-hwa, deeply and thoroughly smitten, he was an inexpressibly attractive being. No matter how many painful memories had piled up in the past, she couldn’t think of them now.
She was too busy savoring the happiness of the moment.
He was light. A blindingly powerful light. A beautiful, sublime brilliance that blanketed everything white and kept her from seeing her surroundings.
It was a kind of worship—and an escape.
Unresolved matters were piled as high as a mountain, but in his presence they melted softly away, vanishing from sight.
The moment the light disappeared and darkness settled in, they would obviously freeze solid and reveal themselves again, but she resolved not to think about that for now. She didn’t have the energy for it anyway.
“All this time, I’ve been avoiding you... “
“Uh, Jae-jung.”
Yoon Seol-hwa laid her own hand over Han Jae-jung’s. At the slightly cool touch, Han Jae-jung realized without the slightest delay that someone had made contact with him.
It was cool, but he didn’t want to pull away. The chill was pleasant. A sweet cold that suited this winter.
“It’s okay. That can happen. When it’s too much... you might just want to run, like you said in the letter you left.”
Yoon Seol-hwa had guessed his intention and dismissed it outright.
“I’m okay. Really.”
Though she hadn’t been okay as recently as yesterday.
‘Right now... I’m okay... yeah.’
It wasn’t a lie.
“You came back, after all. So I don’t care about any of it. That’s more than enough. You don’t have to make excuses. This fact alone is enough for me.”
She lifted Jae-jung’s hand and clasped it in both of hers against her chest. Yoon Seol-hwa looked him in the eye and smiled brightly. It was a beautiful dawn that banished every trace of the earlier decadence and gloom.
“Honestly, it was a little hard. But... you were willing to meet me like this. You trimmed your hair and shaved, and you dressed up. Being able to take care of your appearance means you have the spare energy to care about how you look to someone else. In other words, it means you have the will to hold yourself higher. Jae-jung, you’ve decided to stop hiding. You’ve decided to be unapologetically happy. All I need is for you to be happy. That’s more than enough.”
Yoon Seol-hwa laughed, hehe, as if the gloom that had lasted until yesterday had been a lie.
That was how much it meant to her.
That Han Jae-jung hadn’t forgotten her, wasn’t avoiding her, didn’t hate her—to her, it meant all of that.
An intense joy that shattered sorrows like icicles. Yoon Seol-hwa could no longer even manage her expression.
Her face held a gaze and a curve of the lips as beautiful as sunbeams breaking through clouds after the rain.
Her faintly flushed cheeks were because his hand, held after so long, felt warm, and because she still possessed the innocence to feel shy from just holding hands.
“So, Jae-jung... you don’t have to apologize. If anything, I’m the one who’s grateful.”
Han Jae-jung was bewildered. The numerous excuses and apologies he’d painstakingly prepared were over before any of them could be used.
‘I even picked a hospital where I could get treated right after committing seppuku... ’
Apparently, there was no need to resort to the final option.
“Oh, right. But Jae-jung, why did you want to meet at a hospital? Are you hurt somewhere...? You’re hurt?! Or are you sick...? A-are you okay?”
Yoon Seol-hwa, who had already privately decided that Han Jae-jung was injured or ill, asked with deep concern.
“Nothing like that.”
The bump on the back of his head had healed. He’d chosen this location not because of a past injury, but out of concern for future ones.
“That’s not it... hey, you know. When we were young... you had all those tests and stuff for your heart? I thought about those memories... memories are always fresh and vivid... Memories are nice, right? Yeah, memories are nice... mm.”
His lying was still hopeless when it came to important things.
Han Jae-jung didn’t have a single childhood memory left, but he answered by using knowledge he’d gleaned from the original work.
“Jae-jung... “
Yoon Seol-hwa’s voice wobbled as if deeply moved. He was astonished that she’d bought such a flimsy excuse, and at the same time, her innocence in falling for even a flimsy excuse intensified Han Jae-jung’s guilt.
“I knew it... you hadn’t forgotten me... “
The fact that he’d pretended not to know her at the hospital earlier was bleached clean away, and Yoon Seol-hwa linked her arm through his. She’d wanted to hug him on the spot, but worried that might be too much for him, so she chose this physical contact as the next best option.
In truth, it was closer to embracing his arm than simply linking arms. In an instant, his arm was enfolded between her breasts, and her hand slid down his arm to interlace her fingers with his from below.
There was no more coolness to her temperature. If anything, it was approaching hot. He saw a bead of sweat trickle down the line of her neck.
The sensual allure created by that single droplet was remarkably striking.
“Welcome back, Jae-jung.”
Perhaps because of her bra, the sensation of her breasts felt slightly firm. Even so, that particular softness of hers was unmistakable. The springiness that gently resisted his arm was more than mere cushioning.
Han Jae-jung tried his utmost to ignore the disconcerting sensation along his arm and lifted the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah, I— I’m back.”
It was more than he’d imagined. He wasn’t talking about the tactile sensation.
He was talking about Yoon Seol-hwa’s dependence.
Her emotional reliance on Han Jae-jung was far stronger than he had imagined.
Until now, she had leaned on alcohol and on Jo Ah-yoon, her closest colleague. Those had been nothing more than substitutes for Han Jae-jung.
But now, having lost both of those in recent events, how was she supposed to maintain her emotional stability?
Yoon Seol-hwa was in danger right now. Avoiding her over his own guilt would be beyond selfish.
He’d already been planning to face her again, had seen his chance and made this appointment.
‘But I never expected it would be to this extent... ’
Among magical girls, she was bound to be exceptionally strong. What adversary could stand before a love this powerful?
‘It’s been years since they broke up. And it was a disappearance breakup... ’
If she were a one-sided victim of the separation, she might at least be furious. But to have guarded her innocent love and nurtured it all this time? It was almost admirable.
Had she lived in a past era, she would surely have been recorded as a virtuous woman of legend.
‘What do I do? I barely even got to speak.’
Bringing up the hidden story had become even harder.
What would happen if she found out everything he’d been through?
The hardships during his seclusion, his current situation—and the fact that he’d lost his memories.
He didn’t even want to imagine the repercussions if she learned about it.
‘Especially the stabbing and the suicide attempt... I absolutely have to hide those... ’
Blue Sirius was known to have cut herself off from the internet after the cyberbullying, just like Han Jae-jung. She was famous for not even checking her own commercials once.
‘She probably doesn’t even know... how badly I was harassed after the exposé, or to what degree.’
Looking at Yoon Seol-hwa, who had already leaned her head against his shoulder and was smiling happily, Han Jae-jung gave a bitter smile.
Love is profoundly two-faced. It contributes to making peace, but at the same time, it manufactures conflict.
Jealousy, hatred, and rage always follow on the tail of that emotion. They cannot be cut away.
Love is the most beautiful and simultaneously the most incendiary of all human emotions.
He knew of cases in the original work where people had turned into monsters through love. More precisely, through the hatred born of losing love.
If some distortion were inflicted upon this love of Yoon Seol-hwa’s—
‘If I were to die, or something... ’
He recalled her death in the original work. Right before she died, under Virgo’s mockery, she had displayed signs of awakening multiple stars. The memory alone was horrifying.
What kind of decision must he make for her sake?
‘Slowly increasing the distance. No... I don’t want to do that.’
And Yoon Seol-hwa would hate it even more, of course.
What was the path toward respect? It was complicated.
And it wasn’t just Yoon Seol-hwa—it was the same with Jo Ah-yoon.
‘What they themselves wish for versus what social norms say is right. Which is correct?’
A tangled problem.
He turned his gaze back to Yoon Seol-hwa. There she was, eyes shut happily, pressing her body against his, nuzzling her head against his shoulder to rub her scent onto him.
Her distinctive sweet perfume was striking.
“Jae-jung, what do you want to eat?”
Seeing Yoon Seol-hwa already thinking ahead to the next plan and beaming, all his complicated worries washed away as if cleansed.
“Something you like.”
“That would be alcohol.”
“That sounds good too.”
“Ah, wait. No, not alcohol! No alcohol... How about tteokbokki? You used to make it for me a lot back then, and it was delicious... “
“Sorry, but I’ve forgotten that recipe entirely. You’ll have to be satisfied with the store-bought kind.”
“Aww~”
“What’s ‘aww’?”
“You know~”
“No idea. The kid’s picked up weird things. Are you old enough for dad jokes now?”
“Oh, are we really going to bring up age? If I’m old, then you’re exactly the same age, Jae-jung.”
“Haha, then I’m the one who benefits. Being the same age as you is a good thing for me. Go outside and ask around—I’ll look way older.”
“...? What? You look older than me...? Jae-jung, did someone insult you like that? Can you give me their name later?”
“Haha.”
“Jae-jung? I’m serious.”
Han Jae-jung chuckled at the lackluster exchange.
‘Right. What matters is that she’s happy.’
Safeguarding the magical girls’ happiness—that was the duty of a protector of protectors.
Steeling his heart anew, Han Jae-jung chatted idly with Yoon Seol-hwa a few minutes longer before rising to get lunch.
The sharp, reproachful stares for having spent the time on affection rather than medical treatment came as a bonus.
**
In the end, the place they chose for lunch was a pasta restaurant with a nice atmosphere.
A predictable choice, but “predictable” also meant there was a reason it was so often selected.
“Hehe, it’s been so long since we’ve done this. Jae-jung, what’ll you... “
“Oh? What a surprise. What a coincidence.”
As they took their seats and examined the menu, a gentleman approached them.
A gentleman in a neatly tailored suit. The suit, split evenly between black and white, gave the impression of someone with an artistic temperament rather than a purely intellectual one.
“On a date, are you? Haha, I see I’m intruding. My apologies. I simply couldn’t pass by without greeting such welcome faces.”
He doffed his hat politely and inclined his head slightly.
Yoon Seol-hwa’s eyes sharpened lethally. Han Jae-jung broke into a cold sweat.
“It’s been a long time.”
As the man said, it truly had been a long time.
“Have you been well? I’ve been enjoying myself, more or less.”
The cactus pot sitting where a human head ought to be.
It was Contradiction.
The man who had chosen seclusion had returned.