Cut Marks (6)
Cut Marks (6)
“Ah...”
I found myself looking at Ah-yoon. Her forehead and hair were soaked, and her clothes were drenched in places. Her breathing was ragged, her chest rising and falling without pause.
Dragging my oversized body out of the bathroom must have been hard labor. She’d have worked up a sweat and gotten thoroughly wet.
“Sorry... making you haul out someone who’s twice your size....”
“I am not twice your size?!”
Jo Ah-yoon snapped, indignant at the mention of her small frame. Han Jae-jung smiled bitterly and pushed himself up.
“...Ngh.”
He hurt, mentally and physically. A lump on the back of his head confirmed that he really had fallen in the bathroom.
“I’m not twice your size, seriously... it’s a height difference where people might even mistake us for a couple if we went out... you just keep treating me like a little kid, so that’s how you do the math....”
“Fine, I’m sorry. Not twice. Twice is wrong. Just... hmm, about 1.5 times...?”
“If I’m 150 and you’re 180, it’s not even 1.5!”
“Hey, you just sneakily rounded up while rounding me down. If you’re doing that, I’ll round myself up to 190....”
“Fine, you win, you’re tall! You’re freakishly huge! So huge I can’t handle it! Happy?”
Jo Ah-yoon flushed red and shrieked at him. Feeling a chill, Han Jae-jung checked his condition.
He wore not a stitch of clothing, covered only by a large blanket. Practically naked. He registered the fact that he had shown his bare body to her.
“Just disgustingly huge for no reason....”
Jo Ah-yoon, her ears as red as pomegranates, muttered while looking unsure where to put her eyes. At that meaningful reaction, Han Jae-jung awkwardly clutched the blanket to himself.
‘That wasn’t sexual harassment, was it?...Nah, no way.’
If anything, he should be apologizing for offending her eyes.
No matter how close they were, like family who were completely at ease with each other, seeing a man naked must have been distressing.
Along with shame, Han Jae-jung felt an immense gratitude and a surge of pride toward Jo Ah-yoon for taking care of him without a single complaint.
“Do you know how freaked out I was? I heard a god-awful racket in the bathroom, then you didn’t answer when I knocked... I opened the door and you were collapsed on the floor, naked... you’re just pointlessly big, so I couldn’t even lift you, I had to drag you along... how much I cri... cr, I did not cry! Anyway, I was so worried! I even thought about calling 119. But I figured that would just make things worse... ugh, my heart is still pounding! Okay?”
“How would I know...? I’m sorry....”
“Yeah, you should be sorry! You’d better be sorry! Well then!”
Han Jae-jung answered Jo Ah-yoon’s tearful protests weakly.
Everything she said was right. He should be sorry.
She was already confused from his missing memories and everything about him, and he had added needless worry on top of it.
“What even happened? Is that, that transformation thing’s aftereffects really that bad? Bad enough to make you collapse all of a sudden? That’s, that’s insanely dangerous! Don’t do it, oppa! Don’t do things like that anymore!”
“No, it’s nothing like that. This is....”
“Then what did happen?!”
What had happened. Han Jae-jung closed his mouth.
‘Good question. I want to know, too.’
The memory that had just surfaced. In it, he had looked into a mirror, realized he had become a monster, and decided to kill himself.
He must have been in a state where he couldn’t transform freely, just like Ah-yoon was now.
To be more precise, it was not long after making a Star Contract.
It was strange. In the memory, Han Jae-jung had no recollection of the contract but remembered everything before it. He must have clearly remembered everything up to his time with Virgo... Red Spica.
So losing his memory from the Star Contract wasn’t what caused his current state?
Let’s trace the timeline.
Han Jae-jung went into seclusion and then entered Dark Matter. He very likely forged a bond with Virgo during that process.
After that, he somehow survived there and prepared for the civil service exam. During that time, he came into contact with the Belt.
Not long after picking up the Belt, he was attacked by monsters and ended up in a state halfway between death and monsterization.
At that moment, he made a Star Contract and lost part of his memory.
After that, he decided to kill himself.
But when I woke up after the suicide attempt, I had lost all my memories.
‘Something happened before he committed suicide.’
Or else....
“Oppa.”
“Huh? Uh-huh....”
“What are you so deep in thought about...?”
“Ah, well....”
Jo Ah-yoon smiled brightly. It was a smile, but its meaning was anything but pleasant.
“You weren’t listening to me.”
“N, nah, what are you... why would I tune out Ah-yoon’s voice? Even if the voice of God came down, I couldn’t focus harder than I am right now. I must have been so engrossed in listening that I over-focused. That must be why you’re under the illusion I was thinking about something else....”
“An illusion?”
A soft scoff came back. Han Jae-jung subtly averted his gaze.
“Repeat exactly what I just said.”
“Repeat exactly what I just said.”
“What?”
“I said, ‘What.’”
“Do you want to die?”
“I’m sorry.”
He bowed his head without an instant’s delay, and Jo Ah-yoon replied with a deep sigh.
“...Oppa.”
“Yes.”
“What happened... can you really not tell me? Is it something I shouldn’t know? I, I guess if you put it that way I can’t do anything about it....”
Her face was slowly coloring with sadness. Her eyes, mingled with hurt and self-reproach, tugged at his pity.
“No. It’s not that.”
Han Jae-jung immediately corrected his posture. Swish. The blanket slipped down slightly.
“Eek!”
Jo Ah-yoon let out a shrill cry and covered her eyes with both hands.
“That’s indecent... the stimulation’s too much... f, first put some clothes on... I’m, I’m still in wet things too... so I’ll go change.”
She carefully pulled one hand away from her face, and her trembling finger pointed to a paper bag beside her. It probably had clothes in it.
Once again aware that he had exposed his bare body in front of a woman, Han Jae-jung nodded without hesitation.
“...Shall I?”
**
Inside the paper bag were cute animal pajamas. They had something like bear ears attached. Classic Jo Ah-yoon taste.
‘I thought what I was wearing earlier would be in here....’
Had she already washed everything he’d taken off? Since they were pajamas, it must be a signal for him to stay the night.
He was in no position to be picky about clothes, so Han Jae-jung put them on without complaint.
They felt slightly tight but were a size he could wear without trouble. They probably would have fit perfectly back in high school.
He opened the door and went out to the living room. Jo Ah-yoon was there, wearing similar pajamas.
“Oh, you’re out?...That looks good on you.”
Pink fuzzy pajamas with a duck bill—or parrot beak, whichever—attached to the hood. Jo Ah-yoon had the hood pulled down low. The moment their eyes met, she whipped her head away.
“You managed to find men’s clothes in my size... ah, don’t tell me these are your boyfriend’s? Haha, this is really an awful thing to....”
“I’ve been single my whole life, who are you making fun of? Work kept me busy....”
Jo Ah-yoon glanced at Han Jae-jung and then whipped her head away again.
“A, anyway, work kept me busy, so I never had a chance with guys. And besides, who’d even like someone like me for dating’s sake....”
“Jo Ah-yoon whom I like, what are you talking about. The guy who likes you is right in front of you. Then why do you have this?”
“Pajamas I bought a long time ago to give you as a present. Why. What. I, if you don’t like them, then take them off! N, no wait, don’t take them off....”
“Oh....”
He was touched. She had kept a gift for him all this time.
Now that he thought about it, hadn’t she kept her phone number the same for him, too? Even though malicious fans and reporters must have gotten hold of it.
Along with the emotion came guilt. To someone who remembered him like this, hadn’t he failed to even show his face once?
A quiet solemnity fell over Han Jae-jung, and he hid the feeling with teasing.
“Oh~ how thoughtful~ my little Ah-yoon was going to gift her oppa couple pajamas. How commendable.”
“They’re not co, couple pajamas! Look! They’re just the same brand and series... the, the animal is different! You’re a bear! Mine is a Crimson Rosella Parrot!”
“Come on, that’s basically a couple thing. Did Ah-yoon hate the idea of wearing matching clothes with me that much?”
“That’s not what I... u, ugh, anyway, get to the point! Are you sick or something? What makes a person collapse in the bathroom! Do you have high blood pressure? Something like that?”
Moisture gradually began to seep into the voice of Jo Ah-yoon, who had shouted from sheer embarrassment.
“...You attempted suicide, too, oppa. Did you catch some terminal illness...? Or is it really a side effect of that transformation....”
In an instant, her face had changed into one of worry for him. Her emotional shifts were intense.
It was probably because her emotions were unstable from all the confusing events.
The loss of memory and the changes in an old friend—these were things anyone would struggle to process their anxiety over.
“I told you it’s not that. I am involved with this belt, but....”
“I knew it! You shouldn’t transform either, oppa, just like me! Just ignore it!”
“Hear me out. There’s something I didn’t tell you before.”
Han Jae-jung went over to Jo Ah-yoon and knelt down. Then, as he had before, he wrapped both her hands in his own. Jo Ah-yoon swallowed a ragged breath and met his eyes.
The face that had been hidden by shadows under the hood greeted him with eyes glistening with moisture and cheeks faintly red.
Smiling slightly at the sight, Han Jae-jung parted his lips.
“First, calm down. Ah-yoon. I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’ll stay with you. Okay? I’ll come back whenever you want. I’ve already shown you every embarrassing side of me there is—where would I even go.”
He put a little more strength into the hands holding hers, and spoke firmly.
“I’m not going anywhere, Ah-yoon. Of course, the fact that I made you anxious all this time doesn’t change... but even so, I’d like you to trust me. One last time—give me a chance.”
He gently stroked the back of Jo Ah-yoon’s hand. It was a soft hand. Unbelievably soft for a hand that had done countless harsh things.
He didn’t want to make it stain with blood again.
“Ah-yoon. You can take it slow. Nothing’s urgent. I’ll answer whatever I can.”
“Sniff. You promise...?”
“Of course I promise.”
As Han Jae-jung nodded gently, Jo Ah-yoon sullenly stuck out her lips.
“You don’t have a terminal illness?”
“Of course not.”
The existence of the quests was a bit of a complication, but since it wasn’t an illness, he ignored it.
“Then why did you collapse, oppa?”
“Right, so about that... Ah-yoon, I told you before that I have amnesia, remember?”
“Yeah. Because you got tangled up with that belt like me....”
“Calling it ‘tangled up’... well, my case is a little different, but in a sense, that’s right.”
Han Jae-jung had, at the very least, wanted the Star Contract for himself. To achieve the dream he had recalled just before death.
He didn’t yet know about Jo Ah-yoon’s case. He didn’t jump to the conclusion that she, like him, had willingly sought a Star Contract.
“This contract includes not only losing your memories but also a way to get them back. Lighting up the stars. If you gather Starlight from defeated monsters and form a star, your memories are restored.”
Memories.
Oblivion may be a blessing, but a total blank slate is a curse. For Han Jae-jung, it was the latter.
Good memories, bad memories—even who he was and what made him—were all gone.
If a person is made of body and soul, it was no different from undergoing the death of the soul.
The self is built through countless lessons. Learning becomes experience, and experience becomes memory. The many pieces of clay that had shaped Han Jae-jung vanished in a single moment.
Without an ‘I,’ it is no different from death.
Until now, he had thought the cause was the Belt, but he had to adjust his perspective a bit.
The memories that vanish during a contract are only those related to it.
You could see it just by looking at Jo Ah-yoon’s case.
She had lost only her magical-girl-related memories; the rest were completely intact.
She forgot her magical girl work but remembered that she had been busy; she remembered buying a present in the past; she remembered the things I had told her before she used the Black Dwarf.
Except for specific memories, she retained the rest relatively fine.
‘But I lost all my memories... why?’
The memory that had just surfaced in the bathroom threw Han Jae-jung into even greater confusion. But he didn’t let that confusion show on his face, desperately calming Ah-yoon instead.
“The process of those memories being restored involves forced flashbacks to my consciousness... so my mind sometimes goes hazy. That’s why I collapsed. I really scared you, huh. I’m sorry. Truly, I’m sorry.”
The explanation had wandered a long way round but finally finished. Jo Ah-yoon stared fixedly at him.
“Really?”
“Of course really. Have you ever seen me lie?”
“Yeah. A shitload of times.”
“You’ve learned well. No one in the world speaks only the truth. Let’s always keep that guarded attitude.”
“What hasn’t changed is your shamelessness.”
Only then did a curve form at the edge of her lips.
“Huh? Hasn’t changed....”
As she smirked and looked down at her hand held by Han Jae-jung, her voice was sweeter than before.
“Then do I also have to go around shredding monsters like you to find my memories? Like... doing that transformation thing and all?”
“I don’t really know about that yet either... but if it comes to that, let’s do it where I reduce a monster to a half-corpse and you just cut off its last breath. Or else... you don’t necessarily have to find your memories.”
“Ah....”
That was also true. She had retired from magical-girl work anyway. Not having that knowledge probably wouldn’t cause much trouble.
On top of that, she had apparently earned quite a lot of money back then; her bank account was loaded.
She could just set up a shop somewhere quiet with oppa.
Was there a need to stain her hands with blood just to find her memories? She also didn’t like the idea of him suffering in her place.
“But... still, shouldn’t I find my memories?”
For some reason, Jo Ah-yoon thought so. It was closer to an emotional reason than a logical one. It wasn’t that she desperately wanted her memories, but she felt the necessity.
“...You’re right, aren’t you.”
Han Jae-jung smiled bitterly, as if realizing he had spoken needlessly.
“Hey, oppa.”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“The info you got today... what was it?”
“....”
“Oppa?”
A moment of silence fell.
Around the time the tick of the second hand had struck his eardrum about four times, he opened his mouth again.
“I heard... a suggestion that you might have made the Star Contract of your own will.”
“...What?”
For a moment, Jo Ah-yoon couldn’t process it.
The idea that she sought a star of her own will meant she had some kind of great wish, didn’t it?
A wish she wanted to grant so much she would seek out a shooting star, seek out someone else’s power.
“I made a wish by my own will...? Why? I don’t have any dreams, I just want to have fun?”
“That’s why it’s just a suggestion. Just forget it.”
Han Jae-jung agreed with her. Whether that was an act or genuine, the fact remained that it had reminded him he had a more stalwart ally than anyone else by his side right now.
“...Ah-yoon, I told you today. No matter what happens, I’ll protect you. Let me add one more thing.”
His expression as he smiled gently—
—gave her the certainty that even if she stepped into hell of her own accord, he would be beside her.
“So don’t be too anxious. I’ll always be your ally.”
A large, firm hand enfolded hers. From that thick hand came a warmth that could lightly erase the winter.
A warmth that seemed as if it could melt any coldness.
As if melting at that, Jo Ah-yoon smiled softly as well.
“Don’t be so dramatic. Bathroom vandal.”
“A guy’s supposed to be a little dramatic at times like this.”
“You’re just dramatic way too often, that’s the thing.”
As if their body heat was mingling together, slowly, darkness and moonlight intermixed in the sky as the night deepened.