Cut Marks (2)
Cut Marks (2)
Camera shutters fired without pause. I waved my hands awkwardly, my expression bewildered, but the self-consciousness was slow to fade.
“Deneb-unnie... uheheheong....”
“I didn’t think it would end like this... I thought we’d have more... more fun together... Senpai! What happened to our promise to minagoroshi the monsters together back then?!! (We never made one.) Ikanaide...!!!”
“Please be quiet....”
Red Vega and White Dabih, wailing louder than the one actually retiring. Golden Aldebaran, soothing them. Blue Sirius, standing a little apart, eyes glistening. Orange Altair, frowning in displeasure. Many other magical girls had gathered to see Pink Deneb off.
Some faces I knew, some I didn’t. A gathering of magical girls so large it was hard to take in all at once. Notoriously busy, they had come together in twos and threes, sniffling and wiping away tears. I was dumbfounded.
Was I actually pretty well-liked?... I doubt it.
On Han Jae-jung’s advice, I’d looked up Pink Deneb—a past version of myself I didn’t remember.
It was impressive in the most shocking way possible.
Her yelling every which way at fleeing civilians.
—Hey, you bastard, pick it up! Wanna die?!
—Lady, now’s the time to grab your bag?! Cut the crap and run!!
—Look at this guy, in better shape than the old folks, and he’s still looking for the easy way out... get lost! Use your own damn legs! When you’re genuinely about to die, I’ll save you!
Hurling every curse word she could scrape together at monsters.
—You fucking bug-looking bastards!
—Oh for fuck’s sake, you’re shitting me, you’re shitting me! Hey, bastards, get the hell over here! You want me to slit your throats, huh?! Fuck! Where’s my kill count going?!
—Ugh, fuck, that hurts like a plague-ridden bitch!
‘Aaaaah, don’t think about it, don’t think. That’s not me! It’s not meeeee! Fucking embarrassing, goddammit!’
I couldn’t claim I had a naturally good personality, but I’d never imagined myself living with that much filth in my mouth.
Weren’t magical girls public figures? Was all that swearing really okay?
Of course it wasn’t. Even without memories, I could figure that out from common sense and experience.
‘The comments must’ve been insane....’
I’d closed the page halfway through because reading it made me feel too awful. The fact that I’d stuck with that delinquent attitude despite that much external pressure made one thing very clear: I’d really hated being a magical girl.
Maintaining a stiff smile, I let my unfocused gaze wander. Reporters fiddling with their cameras with expressions of interest. A few spectators.
It was fascinating, really.
Normally they hated me, called me a delinquent, and now that I was disappearing, they felt sad and paid attention?
The video comments I’d checked earlier were full of recent posts like “I miss her,” “Looking back, no one told it like it was,” and “Now I see she really worked hard evacuating people... how desperate must she have been.”
‘Are they genuinely sad? Or do they just want to join the sad mood? Or do they want a moral superiority boost by saying “I never insulted her” and trashing the ones who did?’
Since I had no memories, I could look at it objectively, even though it was about me. It amounted to nothing more than a national event.
A kind of event: thanking magical girls for their efforts, briefly mourning their sacrifice.
‘Whatever it is, none of this attention is good for me.’
All this attention weighed on me. It was uncomfortable. The insults, the sadness—they were all one-sided feelings. Nothing but a nuisance.
The camera lights made my head spin, the press of stares made me nauseous. I’d never liked being on stage or anything like it. That was why I’d abandoned my childhood dream of becoming a singer early on.
‘Now I get why she swore so much.’
Constant exposure to an environment like this would fray anyone’s nerves. Honestly, I was impressed I’d kept this up for so long.
‘Not like I had some great sense of purpose or a dream.’
No dream. I just want to have fun. A small-time citizen who’d lived with that motto carved into her heart. What on earth had possessed me to become a magical girl?
‘And always running my mouth like that.’
Truth was, I wanted to swear right now too.
Still, this was the end. Might as well show a slightly better side of myself.
I looked around at the many eyes on me and opened my mouth.
“As of today.”
I voiced the news everyone already knew, politely.
“I have retired from being a magical girl.”
Since I wanted a quiet life from now on, I’d behave quietly today.
That was my resolution.
**
“Aaaaagh!! FUUUCK!!!!”
“Agh, jeez. Hold still. You’re shaking the sofa.”
Han Jae-jung tapped Jo Ah-yoon on the head as she lay flopping her limbs around, telling her to calm down. Still, her undignified performance art showed no signs of stopping.
—I, I... th-then, um... uhh... hic! S-sorry! Again! I’ll say it again!
“Turn that off, hurry up!”
“Why would I.”
For whatever reason, Han Jae-jung was braving his trauma to watch TV. The person on screen was the sofa-dwelling Jo Ah-yoon herself, just back from the press conference.
—It’s... what I mean is... my future plans... um, that’s... sob, I d-dun wanna talk about it....
She hadn’t just been nervous—she’d been consumed by it. If nervousness had a human form, that’s what it would look like. The screen was filled with her stammering until she finally teared up.
“I said don’t watch iiiit!!!”
Beep.
She finally snatched the remote from Han Jae-jung’s hand and succeeded in killing the TV.
“Aw, man. That’s a shame.”
“What’s a shame?!”
“You’re adorable, that’s all.”
“Ador-adorable...? What’s adorable about that? Oppa, do you have some kind of sadistic hobby? You like seeing girls cry? Is that it—sadism?! Why else would you like that?!”
“Hey, where’d you even learn that word? I’m a perfectly healthy person with no perverted tendencies whatsoever.”
Han Jae-jung turned serious at the unexpected slander. Jo Ah-yoon stared at him and sniffed.
“That’s the biggest load of crap ever. Like the time you got caught with your search history....”
“Right, then, Ah-yoon. Shall we start making plans for the future?”
“Nice subject change... fine.”
Jo Ah-yoon, who’d been sprawled on the sofa, sat up straight. Han Jae-jung got off the sofa and sat on the floor, opening a notebook on the table. He wasn’t actually going to write anything, but it felt like it lent a certain air. As he leaned his back against the sofa, Jo Ah-yoon began gently playing with his hair and spoke.
“So we’re talking about how to make money now, right? Like you saw earlier... at that interview... I was thinking I’d open a little shop somewhere quiet....”
“No, not that.”
“You’re jobless too, Oppa. We need to earn a living.”
Right in the sore spot. Han Jae-jung groaned in pain before snapping alert and tilting his head back. The back of his skull met soft thighs, and Jo Ah-yoon’s face filled his vision.
“Yeah, money matters. But there’s something even more important.”
“What.”
“You.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Jo Ah-yoon jabbed his side with her foot.
“Agh! Why! What, what did I do wrong this time!”
“Don’t—don’t say stuff like that... got it? I thought I was gonna die from the cringe....”
She rubbed her arms like she had goosebumps, her eyes darting around. She suppressed the corners of her mouth as they tried to twitch upward.
“Right, that was open to misinterpretation. Let me rephrase. Right now, figuring out more about you comes before the money.”
Money was important, sure. Han Jae-jung, unable to hold a normal job, and Jo Ah-yoon, freshly unemployed. Both urgently needed a way to put food on the table, but something mattered even more right now.
“...Ah-yoon, up till now, have you ever been forced to transform?”
“No...? Come to think of it, I haven’t. That’s weird. If what you say is right, I should’ve been worked to the bone nonstop... like you, just this morning, heading out to destroy a monster.”
“Don’t put it that way. That was my choice, at least. A price I have to pay. But you’re different.”
Jo Ah-yoon stopped playing with Han Jae-jung’s hair, her gaze shifting toward the metal orb. The same expressionless, cold-textured metal orb, floating alongside her again today.
“I... the orb’s never spoken to me either. And it doesn’t seem to give me any of those... weird quests, or whatever.”
“So that’s how it is....”
His heart grew needlessly heavy, and he found himself stroking Han Jae-jung’s innocent hair over and over. It was frustrating. Same type of device, different symptoms. She couldn’t even remember the contract itself, so she had no idea what kind of deal was struck.
“That’s a relief, then.”
“What...? A relief....”
“It means you don’t have to go through total hell like I have.”
Thinking back on his suffering so far—nothing he’d ever wish on anyone. He was genuinely relieved she wouldn’t end up like him. Han Jae-jung reached out and stroked Jo Ah-yoon’s cheek. The soft, warm texture was exactly like the old days when they’d mess around. Wasn’t it best that such fine skin would never be scarred?
“I know you hate fighting. A girl who only ever watches healing human stories. You still shut your eyes and start shaking the second anything violent comes on—I can picture it clear as day... agh! Why are you hitting me again!”
“Because you only remember the weird stuff. And you’re supposed to have amnesia....”
“I don’t forget everything. It happens... anyway, you don’t want to end up like me, do you.”
Han Jae-jung turned around and resettled himself. He lifted his head a little and looked straight into her pink eyes. Those irises: a lotus drifting over the moon reflected in a lake. Mysterious and elegant, yet touched with a little splendor. They always gave the sense of something beautiful.
“It might be a little too early to relax. Misfortune always hits without warning. We can’t ignore the chance that some terrible duty might be laid on you, shoving you back onto the battlefield. But... I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
He wrapped his own hands around hers. So very small compared to his. How many people had these small hands saved? He felt respect, and pity. How much pain had these small hands carried? How many agonies too numerous to hold must have settled in them.
“I won’t make you suffer anymore.”
Jo Ah-yoon was no longer a magical girl. But that didn’t mean his reason to protect her was gone.
If protecting magical girls was his mission as a Guardian, then protecting Jo Ah-yoon was his mission as the human Han Jae-jung.
“I’ll definitely protect you.”
Once again, Jo Ah-yoon’s foot struck his side.
“Agh, again?! Why!”
“Wha-, wha-, what, are you proposing? Your problem, Oppa, is you get way too serious... I’m an adult, too. I can handle my own path in life.”
The anxiety still lingering in her pink eyes curved into the faint shape of a crescent moon.
“Still, you know... I’ll gratefully accept the help.”
Han Jae-jung chuckled.
“Tsundere’s gone out of fashion.”
“You’re gonna die for real.”
Swish. Jo Ah-yoon lifted her leg. She casually rested it on his shoulder and smirked.
“So, my lovely orabeoni. You got a plan? For how to stop me from suffering.”
“My darling Jo Ah-yoon. I don’t have a way just yet, but....”
He still knew next to nothing about the Belt, or even about monsterization. He didn’t even know if Jo Ah-yoon could turn into a monster.
Whether it was possible to strip away a star already contracted, or to turn a monster back into a human.
He needed information.
“I have thought of a way to find a way.”
**
“It’s been too long, comrade!”
“What ‘too long’? It hasn’t even been a day.”
The Pyxis Monster, Jason.
I waved at him half-heartedly and picked up my pace. My expression, scrawled into a scowl, didn’t bother to hide a bit of my displeasure. Fortunately, I was transformed, so my face wouldn’t show.
Jason, untroubled in the slightest, walked a step or two ahead of me.
“Are not the people one wishes to see always a welcome sight, regardless! What does it matter whether one day, two days, or a few hours have passed! The crucial point is that I am glad now.”
“Optimistic way of thinking. Commend you.”
“Ha ha, my thanks!”
Laughing heartily, Jason guided me onward. Given that his ability was making people lost, and that he was terrible with directions himself, being led by him was unnerving—but not something I could refuse to follow.
I walked slowly behind Jason. It took only a few minutes. After a short walk, a white table adorned with golden candlesticks came into view.
“Here! We have arrived! This is the meeting place! Ha ha! Everyone is gathered, I see!”
Arms flung wide, Jason spun around and proclaimed to me.
“Just as you said, comrade! I have assembled the monsters you wished to see!”
Outlined by the candlelight, the monsters regarded me with chilly stares.
“Heh heh heh, this is quite... a reunion after so long....”
The Gemini Monster, Gemini.
“Indeed! Long time! You there, sir! Surely you don’t still think of me as ‘the horse face’ upon this reunion, do you?! It isn’t fear of my hideous appearance, is it?!!”
The Pegasus Monster, Pegasus.
“Hi there~ It hasn’t been long for us, but... I still wanted to see you. You understand my feelings, right? Oh, right, Virgo didn’t come. Haven’t seen her anywhere lately.”
The Boötes Monster, Boötes. She had her hood pulled low, same as before. I guess she still wasn’t keen on showing her face around.
“And allow me to introduce myself once more! My name is Jason! Your comrade!”
With that greeting, Jason took his seat.
With only one spot left, I sat as well. It was the head of the table—they were minding their manners, in their own way.
“Yeah, well... seeing all these faces I never wanted to see again feels pretty shitty. Can’t be helped, though. Sucking it up and dealing with it is what society is all about, isn’t it? Oh, while I’m at it, mind if I ask something?”
I opened my mouth at the same moment I launched the glass of milk in front of me far away.
“Do all monsters come with a free mental illness?”
“Oh my, how did you know? Yes. Correct.”
“Heh heh heh... each of us harbors a darkness within... can you cast out this darkness?”
“I’m losing my mind.”
This was the first time I’d wanted to go straight home the instant I sat down.
“At any rate, what is the matter, comrade? For you to call upon us, I mean.”
“I’ve got something I want to ask.”
I looked around at the faces seated here. Those who’d tried to monsterize me, and the one who’d held the Belt. Every one of them was someone I’d love to bow deeply before—and never see again. But I endured, thinking of lake-like magnanimity and a rabbit-like little sister waiting at home for me.
“Isn’t it natural? You sought me out because you wanted me. This time, I simply sought you out because I want something.”
The fact they’d been able to attempt monsterization meant they were deeply versed in the process.
These were my sworn enemies, my mortal foes—and at the same time, the ones who held the information I wanted most right now.