Say My Name (4)
Say My Name (4)
Baek A-hee was flustered. For a moment, she didn’t recognize him as her client. Of course, it lasted less than a few seconds, a mere instant. But the impact was undeniable.
It wasn’t pomade, just as Ribbon, her mascot, had dryly observed. It was natural, straight hair swaying lightly with the breeze. Neatly cut dark brown hair that was beautiful. The parts catching the light or the sun gleamed brown, while the rest was a calm black.
The hair that softly brushed near his eyebrows naturally guided the eye to them.
Deep black eyes met her gaze. Eyes like the cosmos that pull others in. The slightly cool-looking shape of his eyes and the thick, dark eyebrows framing them made his gaze stand out even more.
When he blinked, Baek A-hee lowered her own eyes as if avoiding something. A sharply defined lower face greeted her. It was clean. A faint hint of stubble was visible, but it was far from what could be called a flaw.
It was ordinary upkeep. A look achieved with the bare minimum of scissors and a razor.
Perhaps because of the way he’d looked before, it gave Baek A-hee a refreshing feeling, like carbonation.
The kind of big makeover often seen in comics or dramas aimed at teenagers.
The fantasy where a gloomy boy takes off his glasses and becomes handsome, or a girl trims her hair and becomes a beauty.
She’d thought those things were all fiction.
The reason that was now past tense was because that notion had just shattered.
“Ohhh...”
Baek A-hee clapped. It might seem like a random reaction, but nothing could better express how she felt right now.
What she saw was unmistakably a handsome man. Not a homeless person with an interesting aura.
A face with a slightly roguish impression, a decent build, and a tall stature. He felt handsome, but also pretty—a good-looking guy women would likely favor over men. Even so, he was undeniably “handsome.”
“Well done.”
“What do you mean.”
“My choice was right after all.”
“No, what choice.”
Baek A-hee nodded. She felt like she’d found a pearl buried in mud. Even in his shabby state before, he’d given off a decadent mystery rather than unpleasantness, so she’d predicted his looks were above average to some degree.
But to think it was this much.
“Hah...”
A deeply drawn sigh of admiration echoed along with the sound of clapping.
Embarrassed by the overwhelming reception, Han Jae-jung laughed, scratching the back of his neck, which felt much cooler now.
“...Are you going to arrest me?”
“Mm... not yet? But the danger of that has increased!”
Baek A-hee, who had been quietly meeting his eyes, couldn’t handle it in the end and turned her head away first. The change in his appearance certainly had an effect. Baek A-hee’s ears were turning red even without transforming.
“I shouldn’t shave the next time I meet Vega.”
Tossing out a weak joke, Han Jae-jung shifted his gaze to the room.
“...Well, if there even is a next time.”
A large banner read ‘Congratulations on graduating from Red Vega’s counseling!’ in pastel tones.
This made four weeks of counseling.
Officially, this was the last session.
“So what’s the final session, Doctor?”
At the unfamiliar title, Baek A-hee giggled and scurried over to her desk, picking up a sheet of paper.
“Ta-da! It’s a test to check how Jae-jung’s heart has changed positively~. If you answer this sincerely and we do a few Q&As, the counseling is over!”
Han Jae-jung chuckled and took the questionnaire.
“How formal.”
“Yes, it’s formal.”
“So is it really ending with this?”
Baek A-hee’s reply came a beat late.
“...F-first! Fill it out first... ah, a pen! A pen is... here you are...”
Baek A-hee politely offered a pen with both hands.
Han Jae-jung also accepted it with both hands and took a seat. He immediately wrote his name on the questionnaire and began filling in the answers.
‘Have you recently experienced feelings of anxiety or depression... Very much so, Yes, Average... Wow, really textbook.’
He read each item carefully and quickly checked off the answers.
For a while, only the scratching of his pen filled the room.
“E-excuse me!”
“Ah, right, now that I think about it.”
Baek A-hee’s words, which she’d barely managed to start, were neatly cut off.
“There’s something I haven’t told Vega. It might help later with interpreting the answers, so I should say it now.”
“W-wait! That...”
“It’s probably different from what Vega thinks. It’s about my past.”
The life story he’d told her before had a few details omitted.
He had hated his face being seen.
And there was a reason for that.
“I was cyberbullied. Ah... since the cyber part carried over into reality, you could just call it real-life bullying. Anyway, I hate being watched. I hate cameras. I hate being the center of attention. I hate strangers looking at my face and judging my expression, my eyes, calling me a thug. I was bullied pretty badly.”
This was why he had less resistance to his activities as Watcher.
Because that was just a fabricated face, not his real one.
“Because of that, even watching the news makes me nauseous, and reading articles gives me chills. I’ve ended up with a major defect in modern society where you have to handle everything electronically.”
His hand, which had been steadily marking V’s on the questionnaire, stopped.
“Vega, can I change?”
Baek A-hee looked at him quietly, then curved the corners of her soft pink lips into a smile. It wasn’t a sneer. It was a benevolent smile.
“...Jae-jung, before I became a magical girl, I was like the village idiot. If you’re poor you should at least be smart, and if you’re not smart you should at least be quiet, but I was neither. I invested everything in the dream of being a magical girl and never thought about the future or a backup plan.”
She calmly displayed her own wounds.
“I guess you’d say I was... an outcast? Not that everyone actively bullied me, but no one paid me any attention, that kind of kid. I couldn’t do a single thing right and couldn’t let go of the magical girl dream until my senior year of high school, so in a way, it was only natural.”
There was self-deprecation there. Regret about her past. Humor mixed with remorse. Even thinking back now, her past self had been hopeless.
A child blinded by a dream, shortening her own life.
To be blinded, you need light, not darkness, so perhaps the more grueling her reality, the more she inevitably clung to her dream.
Because she needed hope to hold on to.
“...What would have happened if I hadn’t become a magical girl? Clinging to the dream until adulthood, holding on to a dream that would never come true... Maybe, I could have ended up in Jae-jung’s position.”
Baek A-hee lifted the corners of her mouth ever so slightly.
“But things turned out differently for me. I became a magical girl and met many good people. There was plenty of pain too, but even so, I was able to change. It probably would’ve been impossible alone. There was my mascot... Ribbon, there were my senpais, and... Jae-jung, there was also you.”
Baek A-hee placed her hand over Han Jae-jung’s free hand, the one not holding the pen.
“People, you know. Sometimes they find comfort in the hope someone else experienced, and other times they find comfort in the despair someone else endured. They find solidarity by identifying a shared empathy between themselves and others.”
That was why she’d revealed her own wounds. It was one of the things she’d read about in the counseling manual: sharing your own circumstances.
“Just knowing you’re not alone can make a person change. Can let them shake off the pain.”
It was a textbook, good sentiment. Words some would dismiss as cliché.
But the fact that it was textbook meant it had that much value.
It meant it held a universal power that could be applied anywhere.
“Jae-jung, you are one of my good people. And I... I believe I can be that for you too.”
Han Jae-jung had revealed his wounds, and Baek A-hee had revealed hers in turn.
Only now, at the very end of counseling, were the two able to confess their pain honestly.
“Jae-jung can change. Even if it’s hard, I’ll help you.”
Han Jae-jung smiled. Before he knew it, his pen was moving toward the last question.
“We’re finally having a proper counseling session.”
“...! N-no, this is...”
“I know. The situation hasn’t exactly cooperated until now. It’s a bad idea in the first place to push someone into counseling when they haven’t even properly studied and are too busy to look after themselves. I’m not blaming Vega.”
“...That somehow feels like you’re looking down on me.”
Baek A-hee shot him a glare with a pretend angry look. Completely unbothered, he kept moving his pen. It was done.
“You’re right. I can change. Obviously, since it’s guaranteed by none other than the Red Comet, Supernova Vega.”
“D-don’t tease me!”
Han Jae-jung burst out laughing at the heated Baek A-hee.
“Here, it’s finished.”
“Ah, thank you~”
He slid the paper over to Baek A-hee, who quickly composed her expression and accepted it with a smile.
“Mm, you really answered it diligently.”
Unlike its clean initial state, the paper was now covered in black ink.
Baek A-hee, who had been examining it carefully, lifted the paper.
Vertically.
“Really... diligently...”
Then she applied force and tore it apart.
“...?”
“Look, Jae-jung’s diligent answers are now becoming trash.”
“What are you doing!”
“It’s a useless process anyway! Jae-jung’s heart can’t be read from what’s written on this paper! You think we’re ending counseling like this? I hate that!”
She didn’t hide her pounding heart of excitement.
With sparkling eyes, she leaned toward him and proposed.
“Jae-jung! Let’s get some fresh air!”
She was returning the suggestion he’d made to her before.
Except this time, the meaning was more down-to-earth.
“You want to hang out?”
“Yes!”
Crumpling the torn-up paper, she spoke.
“I’ll buy you something really good this time! I’ll buy you meat, meat!”
“...No, eating meat paid for with a kid’s money is a bit...”
“Refusing is for the strong. No matter how old you are, it’s useless in the face of capital. The socially weak just have to take it!”
“Your manners are gradually...”
Han Jae-jung sighed deeply, then nodded.
“Fine. Living it up on a young friend’s money has been my dream for a long time. Now, hurry up and break out your wallet for me. Have you ever seen a beggar?”
“Of course. He’s right in front of my eyes—I’m not blind, how could I not see him. Ah, that wasn’t discrimination against the disabled. Understood?”
“Oh, of course.”
Baek A-hee grinned. To be able to work and play at the same time, what happiness. She was already elated at the thought of devouring beef and then spending the rest of the day at a dessert café.
Reading the desire for sensory gratification behind her smile, Han Jae-jung rose from his seat. With her looking forward to it that much, he’d feel bad refusing.
“When we go, make sure you disguise yourself properly so people don’t recognize you. Then let’s go right...”
“Wait a moment!”
Baek A-hee spread her palms to stop him.
“Just... a moment... the thing is...”
Unlike just moments ago, her expression was nervous.
“To prove and commemorate that our counseling was successfully conducted... there’s a procedure that involves capturing the shape of objects onto a photosensitive surface and preserving it...”
“A photo?”
“Ah, uh, n-no, th-that is...”
Only after sticking out her lips, twisting her body, and earnestly appealing with her anguish, worry, and pain was she barely able to nod in affirmation.
“...Yes.”
“Hmm...”
Han Jae-jung stroked his chin and began to consider. The slightly rough sensation left on his smooth chin still felt a bit odd.
Cameras were still one of the objects he had a strong aversion to. Even for her request, he couldn’t just readily give an answer like, ‘Yes, sure.’
Baek A-hee was probably acting so cautious because she knew that.
Normally, she’d have just rubbed her stomach and pestered him with words like, ‘My stomach’s especially hurting today...’
“Will it be made public?”
“Ah, it will be, but... th-the article will only show my face! For Jae-jung’s identity and safety, we won’t leave a single clue that could hint at your personal information, so don’t worry!”
His reluctance deepened. Even if his face wasn’t shown, it was a photo meant for an article...
‘What should I do?’
He mulled it over deeply.
But the answer came quickly.
“Okay.”
“I-it’s a no, right? I understand... Huh?”
“I said okay.”
He’d just resolved to change and thought he needed to overcome his trauma.
Maybe the malicious shutter clicks meant to mock and slander would bother him, but he thought a photo where his face wouldn’t even be directly revealed might be okay.
“...But it’s true I still feel averse to it, so it has to be just one shot. Got it?”
“O-of course! Ribbon, take my phone!”
Baek A-hee threw her smartphone into the air. That’s what Han Jae-jung saw, but to Baek A-hee, it was different. The cat-shaped mascot there, commonly called Ribbon, caught the phone.
She quickly led Han Jae-jung by the arm and positioned him under the banner, then energetically struck a pose herself.
‘Ah, as I thought...’
Eye to eye with the camera, Han Jae-jung thought quietly.
‘I really hate cameras.’
Imagining that he’d run to the bathroom and throw up as soon as this was over, he closed his eyes.
“Now, one~ two~”
Next to him, Baek A-hee’s hurried and cheerful voice reached him.
“Cheese!”
“Cheese...”
Click.
A horribly resonant shutter sound rang in his mind. At the same time, his complexion turned as pale as if he’d been on a centrifuge.
“All done... Jae-jung!”
The instant the signal that the shoot was over was heard, he bolted to the bathroom and emptied his stomach.
When he returned, Baek A-hee greeted him with an intensely apologetic look.
Unlike the expression he’d seen at the start of today, which had mixed a delighted near-death feeling with nerves, she now looked extremely anxious and restless.
“I-I really am so sorry...”
“If you’re sorry, buy me expensive meat.”
Observing her expression quietly, Han Jae-jung wondered what to add next, then settled on one thing and said it.
“A-hee.”
“...!”
The corners of her mouth lifted again.
Seeing that, Han Jae-jung smiled too.
**
“Heh, hehe...”
Looking at the photo that had appeared on her smartphone screen, Baek A-hee laughed.
He was her sense of pride.
He was the catalyst that gave her a chance to change, and he had also received a chance from her to be changed.
Of course, there were a lot of complicated circumstances behind it, but...
Anyway, the fact that they’d become friends didn’t change.
It felt like their connection would continue even after the counseling ended.
“Ribbon, what if Jae-jung tries to meet me too often? What if he’s still so nervous about contacting me that he hasn’t made the first move yet?”
[That... Guardian... don’t worry... that probably won’t happen...]
Even days after the last counseling session, Han Jae-jung lingered in Baek A-hee’s mind.
He’d suddenly become handsome, and even the way they addressed each other had changed, so he was bound to leave an intense impression.
For a girl still dreaming fantasies, his existence made her recall various scenarios of taming a bad boy found in comics or novels.
Could it be that someone had finally fallen for me? She’d even jumped to that premature conclusion.
“My esteemed pupil? What are you looking at?”
“Ah, D-Dabih!”
“A man? That’s a man you’re looking at!”
White Dabih had suddenly appeared right beside her.
“This is betrayal! Vega is in a relationship!”
“No, it’s not like that! This person is just my client...”
“Do you smile like that while looking at a client?! Uso desu yo! Don’t give me that crap! That kind of crap won’t work on watashi!”
Snatching the phone from Baek A-hee’s hand, Dabih peered deeply at the photo.
“Hoh, looking at the face... he’s handsome. But he looks like a delinquent. Did he seduce you with his face? Ah, o-or maybe blackmail! You might have been blackmailed!”
Soon, White Dabih’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.
“Hm? But I feel like I’ve seen this face somewhere...”
“What’s all the noise about?”
“G-give it back!”
Thanks to the commotion she was making, even Pink Deneb, who’d been sipping a beer nearby, took an interest.
“My esteemed pupil got herself a boyfriend.”
“Oooh, A-hee, you’ve got game? Let’s see the face. Who’s the one who snagged our A-hee?”
“Here.”
“Ah, I said it’s really not like that!”
White Dabih lowered her arm to show the photo.
It didn’t take long for the beer can Pink Deneb was holding to fall.