Say My Name (1)
Say My Name (1)
“Ta-da! Jae-jung, you should try this. It’s a glow-in-the-dark candy.”
Baek A-hee held a fluorescent candy in front of his face, a cheerful smile on her lips. The candy, which had been wobbling uneasily in the air, touched him just as expected.
The moment he felt the sticky sensation on his cheek, Han Jae-jung recoiled and pulled his face back.
“I’ll pass. Looks bad for you.”
“Come on, it’s a safe substance approved by the FDA.”
“That’s the bare minimum.”
Baek A-hee popped the candy into her mouth with a disappointed air. Han Jae-jung stared at her in disbelief.
“Doesn’t the nurse yell at you?”
“I’m a magical girl, so I’m sturdy!”
“Oh, is that right...? Must be nice.”
Actually, Red Vega was in a hospital gown, but she didn’t look particularly sickly.
Even with one arm in a cast and bandages wrapped around various parts of her body, she bustled around the room with vivid energy.
“Right? Must be nice, huh?”
“...Yes.”
Of course, his own recovery speed was no slower than a magical girl’s. Still, he didn’t bother mentioning that.
“No, but seriously, Vega.”
Han Jae-jung clutched his throbbing head and asked a question.
“Has it ever occurred to you that it’s weird for a patient to visit a patient in the next room?”
Red Vega.
The girl, now nearly an adult and currently going by Baek A-hee, had visited his hospital room without fail from the very first day she’d been admitted.
It was a bizarre sight, a patient visiting another patient, but because both of them recovered at an almost freakish speed, the medical staff didn’t really complain.
“...Do you not like it?”
“It’s not that I don’t like it.”
“Of course, I’m going to invade your room regardless of your permission. I’m paying your hospital bills, after all.”
“That’d be the Magical Girl Association.”
People caught up in magical girl-related disasters receive special compensation.
The majority of that compensation is medical expense support.
“The rest is me paying!”
...That didn’t mean the support covered the full cost of treatment, so people unlucky enough to be attacked by a monster had no choice but to open their wallets through tears.
But encountering a monster and ending up in the hospital meant you were lucky to begin with.
Usually, it was one of two things: nothing happens, or you die.
Just being in the hospital was proof you’d survived a monster attack.
During treatment, a nurse said something like, “Hard to say if you’re lucky or unlucky.” And she was right.
Considering he’d been chewed up by monsters pretty regularly and still managed to stick his face in this hospital.
“Well... that’s true.”
“Right? This is my legitimate right.”
“No, it’s not. Are you saying that just because you helped pay, you bought the right to violate someone’s freedom?”
“No? It’s just that I’m singling out Jae-jung for that special treatment.”
“Wow, I’m so happy to hear that.”
A few years back, monster death insurance payouts were even abolished.
The reason was that insurance companies couldn’t handle it.
That’s how common it is in this world for people to be killed by a monster.
Yet the fact that so many people still go out and about isn’t a lack of danger awareness. It means they’ve gotten used to it.
‘A quasi post-apocalypse... terrifying.’
As a world that had nearly been destroyed once and then resurrected, the average baseline differed from what Han Jae-jung was accustomed to in many ways.
It must be because of the parallel world memories transmitted by the Belt.
When he tried to remember them in detail, they were as vague and hazy as a dream... but his mind was accustomed to them.
‘If I barely have memories from either this side or that side, then where am I even from?’
Once again, he felt the urgent need for memory restoration.
“Hey. When are you getting discharged?”
“If they’d just allow it, I’d do it right this second. I’m being a nuisance to you, after all.”
The method was exceedingly simple. Defeat monsters and collect starlight. Or clear quests to increase the intensity of his starlight.
Those two usually amounted to the same thing.
A fair amount of time had passed since he activated the first star. He was starting to want to activate the next star soon.
‘That’ll help with interpersonal relationships.’
Most of his acquaintances on this side had ties to the person he was before losing his memories.
His body was used to handling the gazes of these old connections, but his mind perceived them as strangers. The dissonance was nothing short of uncomfortable. It triggered trauma, too.
In that respect, Red Vega, currently in front of him, was a relatively comfortable person to deal with.
A little awkward from the standpoint of a magical girl and a monster, but there was no real problem seeing her face to face like this.
’...Not anymore, though.’
Since a few days ago, she’d become uncomfortable too.
“Am I the only one who visits you?”
“Is the counselor resorting to personal attacks now?”
“I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious.”
Han Jae-jung let out a sigh.
“You’ve heard about my family situation.”
Of course, he didn’t talk about whatever complicated romantic history he’d gone through beyond that.
“What about friends?”
Han Jae-jung thought of Jason and then shook his head.
‘Not that bastard.’
He thought of Seol-hwa or Ah-yoon and then let out a deep sigh.
He felt like there might be more acquaintances, but with his current memories, he couldn’t recall a single one.
“I don’t have any.”
In the end, he didn’t have a single acquaintance he could confidently introduce to someone.
“Then....”
Baek A-hee suddenly grabbed his hand. It was overwhelming.
“Should I introduce you to a magical girl I know? Your personality seems like you could become really good friends.......”
He knew the intent behind this question.
And the reason she visited so often.
During Libra’s ambush, he’d told her the exact same words he’d once said to her as Watcher.
Not only that. When he’d steeled himself for death and tried to transform, she’d come back.
Han Jae-jung remembered. When Red Vega was checking his injuries, she’d spent more time on the belt around his waist than anywhere else.
She’d already noticed a lot.
“No.”
“...! See, it does bother you after all, doesn’t it? In what way?”
Baek A-hee’s eyes sparkled with interest as if she’d found a lead, and she leaned her face even closer.
Han Jae-jung once again subtly shifted his body to the side, creating distance.
“Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to meet a famous person you have no connection to? Meeting strangers is already awkward, but a famous stranger? I don’t like it.”
“Ah... that kind of uncomfortable....”
She’d probably thought something like, ‘He must be uncomfortable facing a magical girl because he did something shady to one!’
Han Jae-jung’s assessment was correct. Red Vega was going over the words she’d shared with Han Jae-jung, and for now, she felt that what he’d just said was the truth.
“Plus, I’d draw a lot of attention.”
“Yes, you’d draw a lot of attention. I don’t like that.”
“Th-then, how about a private signing event....”
“Ugh, I can’t receive special treatment like that. Out of consideration for your other fans, I must respectfully decline.”
“Perhaps you’d consider meeting the magical girls who’ve come to visit...?”
“No. If you bring them into my room, be prepared for me to jump out the window.”
“Jae-jung, you’re getting more and more unreasonable.”
“Have you looked in a mirror?”
Look who’s talking.
Strictly speaking, they’d become remarkably casual with each other for a relationship that had started as business counseling.
It was because their inner closeness had deepened while overcoming a life-threatening crisis together.
“You really don’t want to meet them...? A regular person would love this... Hmm, it’s strange... is there something you feel guilty about....”
“The one who did the stabbing was you, Vega, when you stabbed my stomach with fire.”
“I-I did not do that!”
Han Jae-jung had a headache. It would’ve been much easier if she’d just confronted him openly, gotten angry, or hit him.
‘No, maybe hitting is not okay... If I get scorched by fire again, I’m done for.’
He’d never experienced pain like that in his life. Han Jae-jung shuddered, recalling the experience that had nearly sent him into shock.
Anyway, Han Jae-jung was suffering through various discomforts caused by Baek A-hee during this hospital stay.
He felt choked, like his breath was catching in his throat. It was extremely awkward.
“A-and, talking about stomachs, you also... Oh, n-never mind.”
There. Like that.
Baek A-hee talked in circles, continuously testing the waters with Han Jae-jung.
Han Jae-jung deliberately pretended not to hear. Answering would only bring back more convoluted responses, anyway.
Of course, inside, he was burning up with anxiety.
Whenever that incident was brought up, Han Jae-jung couldn’t help but be the one at a disadvantage.
He felt genuine admiration for Baek A-hee’s social maneuvering, the way she politically weaponized her status as a victim to seize the upper hand in their relationship.
People were so crafty. Even knowing that using the past like that was the victim’s right, he couldn’t help but find her a little infuriating.
Still, as long as that incident existed, Han Jae-jung couldn’t mouth off to her carelessly.
He watched Baek A-hee with complicated nerves. She was smiling brightly, hiding her cold sweat.
It was partly due to tension, and partly due to sheepishness.
She felt uncomfortable in her own way.
“Oh, right. Jae-jung.”
Baek A-hee once again laid her hand over his.
“Isn’t it awkward to still be using formal speech at this point?”
“Please don’t say things like that. I’m a civilized person who knows how to be polite.”
Another probe, was it. Probably a question aimed at Watcher’s arrogant and condescending tone.
Han Jae-jung once again sidestepped the question that had circled around to him.
“Polite... civilized....”
Baek A-hee murmured vacantly, then tilted her head. She pulled Han Jae-jung’s hand and made him touch her stomach.
Through the thin hospital gown, he felt the soft yet firm flesh unique to a trained person. And a body temperature hotter than most.
Letting him feel that quietly, Baek A-hee murmured.
“Polite... civilized...?”
‘Shit.’
Han Jae-jung squeezed his eyes shut.
He didn’t feel any particular scar, but the memories contained in that stomach felt vividly alive.
Red Vega ultimately moved that hand up and down, making him rub her stomach.
“Here... it hurt... and without a word....”
She probably found it ridiculous that the guy who’d acted like such a barbarian was now bringing up politeness and being civilized.
He had nothing to say.
Baek A-hee let go of his hand. He quickly retrieved his hand and hid it under the blanket.
Baek A-hee, who had been vacantly stroking her own stomach, suddenly snapped back to her senses.
“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. Pff, ack, not what I meant!”
She laughed awkwardly and slapped his leg under the blanket. Thanks to the cast, it didn’t hurt.
Why do some people resolve their awkwardness by hitting others? Han Jae-jung still didn’t understand that human habit.
“Yes, I’m a sinner.”
“No, that’s really not it. The reason I brought up formal speech wasn’t that, it’s... Back then, when I fought Libra, you spoke to me casually.”
Baek A-hee covered her mouth and timidly hunched her shoulders. She moved her eyes around before meeting Han Jae-jung’s gaze.
“If... if you’re comfortable with it, you can speak casually. And my name... you can just use my real name.”
She shifted her eyes again, avoiding his gaze, then murmured in a trembling voice.
“Uh, um... ah, you can even call me... A-hee-ya~.”
Her ears were red, likely finding her own suggestion embarrassing.
Han Jae-jung chuckled hollowly.
“No.”
“Wha?! Why! This is a precious opportunity to break down the wall of formality and honorifics drawn between us and form a new friendship!”
That was exactly the problem.
“Isn’t this a rare chance to be secret friends with a magical girl? It’s something I used to dream about back in the day! That I’m close to a magical girl while everyone else has no idea!”
“Your private thoughts are surprisingly shady.”
“Sh-shady!”
She probably never imagined hearing that word. Baek A-hee’s expression froze solid.
‘Knowing the hidden side of a celebrity everyone adores and having a secret friendship with her... me.’ It’s a pretty attractive fantasy.
But the problem is that said appeal comes from a form of superiority—the feeling that ‘I have a secret you people don’t know.’
A secret relationship is immoral, and that’s precisely what makes it attractive.
“Vega, it seems to me you still want that kind of relationship even now, not just back in the day.”
Baek A-hee’s body flinched.
“Be honest, Vega. That’s not a relationship that benefits me. It’s a relationship you want.”
Hit the nail on the head. Han Jae-jung shook his head as he watched Baek A-hee tremble with embarrassment.
‘An unknown side of the everyday, and the identity of my handsome client is actually the monster who beat the crap out of me?!...She’s probably imagining something along those lines.’
The reason the descriptor “handsome” was attached was simple. Han Jae-jung had surprisingly high self-esteem. Especially when it came to his looks.
He had no memories, but his self-regard, once gained from dating a magical girl in the past, had carried over to the present.
‘She has another motive for wanting to get close, too. She wants a relationship where we don’t have to ask about the truth.’
A relationship where a tacit agreement is enough.
He gazed seriously at Baek A-hee. Baek A-hee turned her head, avoiding his eyes.
“Look at my eyes.”
But she denied him. Squeezing her eyes shut, she turned her head with a stiff motion.
“Hooo... haaa....”
She took a deep breath, then snapped her eyes open.
“There! I looked!”
“Now, ask me what you really want to know.”
Once again, he heard her inhale. Han Jae-jung conveyed his thoughts in a low, serious voice.
“You have the right to ask me for the truth. It is legitimate curiosity and inquiry without a trace of rudeness. Conversely, I have the duty to sincerely answer your doubts. It’s a responsibility imposed upon me for the crime of concealing the truth and deceiving you.”
His calm, measured voice shook Baek A-hee’s eardrums.
“What is it you wish to ask me?”
The sound of a heartbeat shook her eardrums along with his voice. A sound as immense as a drum—that pounding resonated through her mind. It was excitement and tension.
“Th-then....”
Han Jae-jung waited quietly, not taking his eyes off her. Whatever came out of those lips, he was prepared to humbly accept it.
He had long since braced himself to reveal the truth. From the very moment he’d prepared to die that day.
“Then....”
The girl’s lips wavered a few times, her tongue wetted her trembling lips, and after she briefly closed her mouth.
Once more, those lips parted.
“...Really, do you have no intention of calling me A-hee? Of getting closer to me...?”
“....”
“....”
“I’m sorry. C-could you give me another chance to ask...?”
In the end, what came back was yet another question that talked around the point. Han Jae-jung heaved another deep sigh.
“Vega.”
“Y-yes!”
Ultimately, Han Jae-jung made up his mind about what to do.
“In one hour, a monster is going to appear on the hospital rooftop.”
“What? Ribbon didn’t say anything about... oh.”
Baek A-hee had turned to look at the mascot beside her, but then she repositioned her gaze back toward him as if she’d realized something.
Han Jae-jung simply nodded silently.
If she was reluctant to ask him for the truth.
Then he just needed to create an opportunity for her to ask another entity.
“I thought it best to prepare in advance, so I’m letting you know.”
“...Got it.”
Baek A-hee rose from her seat. Her expression was more resolute.
“I’ll be ready. Be careful not to get hurt too, Jae-jung.”
“You too, Vega.”
She nodded, then left the hospital room. Han Jae-jung stared at her empty spot for a long time.
“I’m going crazy....”
A sigh filled the empty space.
The hand, where her body heat still lingered, grasped a cold metal object.
The mechanical device that was the cause of all this strife.