Like a Comet Into Your Heart (9)
Like a Comet Into Your Heart (9)
Han Jae-jung laughed, hollow. He dragged a hand dripping with blood up over his face. The motion was more of a wet wash than a dry one.
“I’m sorry! Nothing you said was wrong! Right now, I’m weak. Right now, protecting you and myself at the same time is too much for me. And I’ll admit it now! The enemy is terrifying! I absolutely don’t want to die! I know running away is the right choice. I know what the rational decision is. I know that, but...!”
A bright light shone on her blood-smeared, reddened face.
“Even so, I couldn’t leave you alone and run away! It’s not because it’s my fault or my duty. Right now, I want that more than anyone else.”
The place she flew toward and finally reached was none other than this battlefield.
“If I run now, I feel like I’ll never reach the future I wanted. It might guarantee my immediate survival, but it can’t guarantee my dream. So... I came back!”
This was the place where her ideals existed.
“I told you, didn’t I? That I wouldn’t resent you?”
“Haah....”
Having ideals didn’t mean this was a place where those ideals could be achieved.
They both knew.
Although she had made a bold entrance, the situation hadn’t changed.
In the end, nothing was different from before.
Libra’s target was Han Jae-jung.
When Red Vega had run away alone, it had been confirmed that he would not pursue her.
Therefore, fleeing together with Han Jae-jung was impossible.
On the other hand, defeating Libra was impossible with both of them this severely injured.
One side was practically on the verge of death.
The threat of death still loomed right before them, nor was there any obvious way to break out of this situation.
This defied instinct and defied reason.
It was a foolish act.
And yet, she chose to challenge it, so she was a hero.
Red Vega’s eyes held earnestness.
She was searching for an ally who would support this stubbornness.
Everyone is frightened to set out on a path alone. Even more so if it’s their first time.
She wanted validation for her actions right now. She wanted the conviction that she was not wrong.
‘From my answer, no less.’
At Red Vega’s question of whether he resented her, Han Jae-jung gave a refreshing laugh and nodded.
“Yeah, I don’t resent you.”
He was both deflated and chagrined.
That didn’t give him a reason to reject her now that she had returned.
He didn’t know what the outcome would be.
Coming back here might have been the wrong choice.
It didn’t matter.
The resolve forged in fear was solid.
A decision that took priority over one’s life transcended all reason and rationality.
It deserved to be affirmed, of course.
‘What right do I have to deny her answer in the first place.’
No one has the arrogant right to force a specific action upon another person for the sake of their own fulfillment.
Forcing it on her all this time had been a stupid thing to do.
If sincere persuasion hadn’t worked, there was nothing more to be done.
‘I’ll just believe in her.’
This was her life, not anyone else’s. It was the answer she had arrived at after recognizing the value of her own life, a clear decision.
She wasn’t acting thoughtlessly, without knowing fear.
She had clearly recognized her fear and acted despite it.
Han Jae-jung had no right to rebuke someone like that and tell them to turn back, and he didn’t want to either.
‘Even if the entire world denies it, I alone will affirm it.’
Because that was what it meant to be the Guardian of Guardians.
“I will affirm every choice you make, and I will support them. If you didn’t run... if that’s truly what you want... then all I can do now is believe.”
And a Guardian deserved the respect befitting that role.
Protecting them wasn’t merely about their lives, but all of their honor and their dreams.
If her dream rested on him now, he would offer himself up.
“Just now, I was trying to throw my life away. Because my fear of you dying was stronger than my fear of my own death.”
Unlike before on the bridge, this was true rescue.
Salvation from suicide without a single misconception.
For her, who would save others and thereby save herself, he entrusted his life to her.
“Did you come back to waste your life in vain, or to stake your life? Did you come here to commit suicide, or to save yourself...? It’s definitely the latter, I suppose.”
The window for transformation had been missed.
The miraculous strength of a final rally was gradually draining away.
Now he couldn’t even grip the Belt or move his body.
“Suicide prevention... you’re showing it through direct action now, not just counseling.”
Red Vega’s eyes widened. The look in them gradually grew calm. The corners of her eyes curved beautifully.
Perhaps the joke had landed, or perhaps she was simply happy to have received any kind of affirmation.
“No taking it back later, okay?”
Having received his answer, Red Vega smiled softly.
Affirmation from another person always lifts the spirit.
“Good! I’m going to save you, so prepare yourself!”
The words she had delivered so faintly just before were now spoken with clear and resolute conviction.
Of course, the anxiety was still there.
Her legs trembled and the strength drained from her clenched fist.
Her heart pounded like mad. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Perhaps because of that, her breathing was ragged too.
She was shaking like someone with hypothermia, and she bit down hard to stop the trembling.
All of this was proof of her fear.
But that was no reason to back down.
After stealing a glance behind her, she carefully examined his body.
‘This is bad.’
It was a wonder he could speak and move at all.
He was drenched in blood as if he’d accidentally knocked over an inkwell, one leg twisted at an unnatural angle like a doll handled roughly, bruises everywhere, and his head was split, blood stinging his eyes.
That careful gaze lingered on one spot. Near his waist and stomach. The most severely wounded area, and...
“...”
“...”
She had so much she wanted to say, but there was no time for it now.
“Hey.”
Just then, Han Jae-jung’s body swayed. Balancing his body on steel beams or whatever was around was indeed quite a difficult task. Even more so when he had practically no strength left from excessive blood loss.
His body, having finally lost all strength to stand, was pulled downward by the laws of nature.
The Belt wrapped around his waist also came loose and returned to its spherical form.
Red Vega instantly rushed over and propped him up.
“...It’s fine. I can still move....”
“If you move any more, you’ll really die. Are you planning to make all my effort in coming back count for nothing?”
Han Jae-jung closed his mouth. She was right, so he had nothing to say.
Red Vega turned her gaze toward the enemy for a moment.
“Just as you said. Girl, your misguided choice will see you both throw your lives away in vain.”
Dusting himself off, Libra rose and glared, clearly displeased.
“In that case, as you wish, I shall kill you.”
A brilliant golden radiance shimmered and rose.
‘I’m the only one who can stop that right now.’
She wouldn’t be able to attend to Han Jae-jung for a while. She would have to leave him unattended.
Red Vega squeezed her eyes shut and placed a hand over his wound. He was currently bleeding out. If he moved, he’d die. If he didn’t move, he’d die. The most urgent priority was to stop the bleeding.
“I’m sorry. No resenting me for this either. Understood?”
“...? Uwaaaaagh!!!”
An ear-splitting scream tore from Han Jae-jung. It was a scream of such excruciating pain that it brought to mind a resistance fighter being tortured.
Because terrifying heat radiated from the hand Red Vega had raised.
She cauterized the bleeding wound with fire to stop it. It was an extreme emergency measure.
Thermal burn pain, said to be the most intense of human pains.
With it stimulating his nerves to the fullest, it was only natural for a scream to burst forth.
“I’ve actually practiced this a few times, you know? It was only in my imagination, but... it should be fine! Feel my delicate touch!”
“Is this your revenge... Aaaaaargh!!”
“Revenge? I have no idea what you mean!”
“This crafty fire vixen....”
He was at a loss for words at her brazenness.
Han Jae-jung, who had been screaming, soon fell silent.
The pain made it impossible for him to speak anymore.
Extreme pain does not rouse consciousness; instead, it paralyzes it. Han Jae-jung’s eyes gradually closed.
He began to lean his weight onto Red Vega’s body.
“So you’re a homicide counselor, goddamn it....”
“You meant ‘hang in there,’ right? Yes, I received your encouragement well. Rest for a bit now.”
Ultimately, his body lost its self-control and completely slumped into her hands. At the same time, the blood flowing from his stomach stopped.
“Discord within your ranks?”
“No, this is an act of protection and treatment.”
“How foolish. To reduce your own fighting strength.”
“As if I could ask a civilian to help me fight.”
“Are you pretending not to know?”
“Haha, I don’t know anything to begin with. I’m an uneducated idiot, so I’m not quite sure what you’re....”
Red Vega laid his body down carefully.
Her tone was calm, but within it existed a fierce anger.
It was like quietly boiling oil.
“I only know one thing right now.”
She raised her fractured left arm and clenched her fist. A stinging pain sent warning signals through her body several times, but she ignored them.
She raised her right arm to chest height and clenched it too. Both legs were positioned to lunge out at any moment.
“That I have to take you down.”
“...Heh heh.”
Libra laughed, annoyed.
He spread both arms, accepting her challenge.
“If that is so, then try me!”
Red Vega kicked off the ground. That single dash alone brought her right up against Libra in an instant.
Libra did not bother to defend himself. He intended to fully gauge her strength through this one strike.
Pow!
His jaw flew upward. Her fist had struck his chin.
At the end of his upward gaze toward the sky was a sense of puzzlement.
Even if he hadn’t taken a defensive stance, should a blow really deliver this much impact?
‘As expected.’
The puzzlement soon turned to certainty.
This was different from when they had traded punches days ago.
‘You’ve gotten stronger.’
Libra swung his brutish hand with great force. A violent gust arose from that single gesture alone, strong enough to gouge the earth. Overwhelming power matched only by overwhelming light.
The appearance of a Pseudo-Divinity State. Compared to what he had witnessed before, it was a lesser light.
‘Compared to what he had witnessed before.’
The fact remained that it was still fearsomely potent.
The instant she sensed his movement, Red Vega leaped upward. Once again, she expelled fire beneath her feet. It was closer to flight than a mere leap.
“Are you not overestimating your own growth too much?”
The problem was, it was a method Libra was capable of as well. With an explosive roar, Libra shot into the air.
A shadow fell over Red Vega.
“Guh!”
Immediately after, an impact like a lightning bolt drove into her. Red Vega quickly spun around to defend herself.
Bang!
A repeat of the scene from moments before. Red Vega plummeted to the ground. She smashed through the already ruined building once more, sending shards of debris and clouds of dust splashing up like droplets of water.
Amid the ripples of destruction spreading outward, the girl rose.
“So you’ve lost the use of your left arm.”
Her left arm was now practically unusable. The sight of it dangling limp beneath her like a doll missing its stuffing was even pitiful.
“Ha. A state no different from a moth to the flame.”
Red Vega did not particularly deny it.
A moth to the flame, was it.
An expression likening one who is captivated by something and burns their life away.
Fools who walk into their own destruction of their own accord are commonly called that.
‘How perfectly fitting for me.’
Ever since Watcher had appeared, Red Vega had met with frustration, defeat, and humiliation on several occasions.
Through these, she had realized a few facts.
One, monsters are terrifying.
They are far too powerful to handle with mere confidence.
Their massive builds evoke a primal, biological fear, and the power they wield is outright unreasonable.
What’s more, it’s unfair.
For magical girls, who must protect not only themselves but also civilians, stopping them is a very arduous task, and that task repeats itself daily.
The accumulated fatigue is heavier on this side, and the accumulated strength is greater on theirs.
‘I know.’
She had properly realized it. There were walls in the world that stubbornness and lingering attachment alone could not overcome.
Two, losing one’s life is terrifying.
It’s a simple fact.
But she kept averting her eyes from it. Now, however, she could no longer look away.
Just as a strong light reveals itself even within blackout curtains, an overwhelmingly powerful fear can break even a stubbornness as solid as an iron fortress.
Even for a hero, death is terrifying. It’s no different from anyone else.
The instinct inherent in all living beings acted upon her in the exact same way.
There was meaning beyond simple instinct as well.
If you die, that’s the end. There is no future.
Neither the ideals you dreamed of, nor the things you wanted to do, nor protecting anyone.
The denial of all possibility and the self.
That is why death is terrifying.
Three, not receiving recognition is terrifying.
They say humans are social creatures. Those words were definitely true.
Having no allies is frightening.
Not receiving affirmation from anyone is frightening.
If she thought that this action of hers might just be simple meddling and a nuisance, she trembled. If she got insulted, she’d feel wronged. She’d get angry too.
‘I’ve dedicated myself this much! Why won’t you acknowledge me and only curse me?! Praise me! Understand me! Forgive me!’ Even such slightly childish and vulgar thoughts would occur to her.
They say heroes should be lofty, but in the end, they too need compassion.
Red Vega was ultimately forced to acknowledge the fears she had denied three times over.
The conclusion she realized from that.
‘I am not Sky Polaris.’
From that very day she had descended onto the burning road, she had always admired her.
She respected her and dreamed of her.
She wanted to become like her. She trusted every word in her interviews and wished to follow them to the letter.
But admiration was not the same as being identical.
She and her idol were different people.
No matter how much she tried to emulate her, the same mindset wouldn’t arise, she couldn’t possess the same power, and she couldn’t stand in the same place.
‘A magical girl still young and immature.’
A fool who learned magic late and only charged in thoughtlessly.
“To practice justice, one requires power befitting that purpose. Whyever did you return? Could you not simply have built your strength in the future and challenged me again later?”
Libra’s words were not wrong.
She accepted them humbly.
“Is he your family?”
No.
“Is he your lover?”
No.
“Is he your friend?”
No.
“What is he to warrant protecting him this stubbornly? In such a wretched state, with your hands and legs trembling violently, your teeth chattering, dragging around your pitiful flames, while afraid.”
Red Vega clenched her fist again.
“Why did you return?”
Was it frightening? Of course. He was a monster, a being who threatened her life, and the one who had tarnished her honor. Of course he terrified her. Even then, she regretted returning, wondering whether she should have run away instead.
Fear is hope.
Because it is an act of self-defense.
If fear allows you to take a step backward, you can protect your body and mind.
A body and spirit thus protected will one day allow you to step forward toward the future once more.
Because it preserves the possibility of moving toward the future, fear, this terror, is hope.
But it is merely hope.
“Why did I return, you ask?”
Hope is nothing more than a possibility. Something that might happen in the future. A reality that has yet to be observed.
Just, a fantasy.
If hope is not actualized, it is no different from a hallucination seen through a drug.
A sweet possibility that offers momentary happiness but will one day leave you miserable.
Therefore, fear is hope, but at the same time, it is nothing at all.
“Do you really need to ask that to know?”
Thus, a step forward taken in awareness of fear is noble and precious.
A step of resolve, taken in awareness of hope.
The courage born within fear.
That single step, precisely that,
becomes not a mere possibility, but an actualization.
“Since when does protecting someone ever need a reason?”
Within her answer was not the duty of a magical girl she had imposed on herself all this time.
It was even less about guilt.
There was no compulsion or coercion.
She did not drive herself forward.
She simply gave voice to the heart that came out naturally.
She merely reaffirmed the ideal, purely and newly refined right here and now.
“I don’t need your understanding. I move for my own reasons.”
Because the man behind her had already affirmed her. Because there was someone who would answer her, more than this.
And so, Red Vega stepped forward.
Hearing her reply, Libra laughed.
“Is that so. Yes, that’s how heroes originally were. That is the justice you all have shown. I apologize. I have insulted you.”
Light filled both of his hands. A blinding golden glow spread everywhere, and the atmosphere churned.
Power to tear the sky and shake the earth converged at that spot.
The glory of the sun waned before it, and the earth’s embrace abandoned any attempt to hold him.
Soon, those two radiances gathered into one.
“If that is the case, then die without any reason at all.”
Heavenly Scales, Falling Chaos.
The light shot out in a straight line. It ground away everything in its path and reduced it to ash.
Red Vega raised the only hand she could still move.
She too fired her flames, refusing to lose.
It could not be called a technique. It was not something refined in such a way. It was not something produced by controlling brutal instinct with reason.
Desperately, recklessly, with everything she had, she simply squeezed out every drop of magical power she could muster and expelled flames.
It resembled a lost child finally bursting into tears.
It was like a great torrent of emotion.
‘I can’t lose.’
She must not be pushed back.
Red Vega’s step was forced one pace backward.
‘I can’t lose.’
There is someone behind her.
The person who had worried about her so deeply, and yet smiled and affirmed her when she returned.
The person with whom she still had a mountain of things left to say.
Red Vega was pushed back, keeping her silence.
“Such pathetic starlight! Be erased from here! Begone! Be sacrificed for the greatness of this light!”
What blocks light is not darkness, but a light stronger than it.
Red Vega was pushed back again.
Pushed back again, and again.
Then.
*Thud.* Her rear heel touched something.
“As if it could ever be erased.”
Someone’s right hand was placed over her right hand, the one breathing fire. Even though it must be burning hot, even though it must hurt, they placed it there regardless.
It was the actualization of affirmation.
He affirmed the girl’s struggle right here, right now.
“Because I am here watching. If I have seen it, I will know it. If I know it, I will remember it. No matter how much you deny it, I will affirm it here. I affirm that her light shines brightly in this place.”
Monsters grow stronger through the Negativity of people.
Magical girls are the opposite.
They grow stronger through the affirmation of people.
Love.
The affirmation of oneself gained through another.
“Here, I have seen a star.”
Peace.
The affirmation of another gained through oneself.
Red Vega’s light intensified.
The flame gathered in the girl’s hand was no longer pitiful.
It surged up powerfully, as if it could embrace everything.
It was the Sign of Divinity.