Star Manager (1)
"My god, look at this. Look how dry your skin is. In winter you really ought to keep up with moisture and nutrients. Still, not a blemish on you. I'll keep the base light—just even out the texture and we're done."
"……Please just finish."
The moment I sat down at the vanity, I had already emptied my mind of hope.
The salon artist, mustache and all, smiled with an oily ease. A flat makeup brush rested in his hand. He loaded it with flesh-toned cream instead of paint and swept it across my face in broad strokes.
"Oppa."
Lim Seoyoung poked my shoulder from behind.
"What?"
"Just felt like calling you."
Her face showed in the mirror. Those big round eyes narrowed into crescents. She put on a smile that could have melted ice, then laughed a completely mismatched heh heh heh.
"Oppa, oppa, oppa."
"What, what, what."
"Since I was calling you anyway, I called you three more times."
Then she started circling me as if I were some tremendous spectacle, and something about it clicked. Hair curled just at the tips—fur. The fluttering hem of a flare skirt—a tail. She was practically a dog tearing across a snowfield. No. More a puppy than a dog.
"I know you've been waiting for this day like it couldn't come fast enough, but get a grip."
"Oppa. How does it feel, sitting there?"
"How do you think? Like I'm serving a penalty."
Honestly, I would have been more at ease if they were doodling on me with a permanent marker. Thank god neither Kim Hyunjo nor that traitor was here.
"Come on, how is this a penalty? Do a full face and the glow-up would be criminal! Want to try a little blush? This year's spring/summer color is a pale coral. This one, this one—it's my lipstick color!"
"Quit talking nonsense and sit down. Why are you this wound up? Keep it up and you'll be running on empty before we even start recording."
"I'm fine! My condition today is incredible!"
She balled both fists and shouted, brimming with confidence.
"Stop making a racket and go eat your lunch box, dummy."
LJ had come up close and smacked Seoyoung square across the back.
The long glossy fall of blonde, the makeup that drew the outer corners of her eyes out sharp—today she looked especially feline. A stray cat wearing the face of a pedigreed breed. A two-shot with Seoyoung would come out nicely. The fan cafe already called the pair a dog and a cat and churned out composite photos; this would make prime fodder.
I was thinking exactly that when LJ thrust her phone forward and took my picture.
"What are you doing? Why are you photographing me?"
"Figured if I kept it, I'd find plenty of uses for it later?"
"……Don't take it, and don't use it."
"Hate it that much and I only want to shoot more. I'll put it to good use."
She smiled, just slightly. A crooked, contrary little smile.
Seoyoung craned in at LJ's phone.
"Na-na-na, send me what you took!"
"Don't want to."
"Ugh, you broken personality! Fine, I'll just shoot it on mine!"
She fetched her phone, and then Seoyoung was snapping pictures too. Sighing, I looked toward Lee Taehee and Lee Songha, hoping those two might be a little more civilized.
Mm. Quieter than ever. They had no choice but to be.
Songha was eating a lunch box on the sofa, and Taehee was asleep with her head pillowed on Songha's thigh.
"What you're recording today—when does it air?"
The artist's assistant asked, all smiles.
"Lunar New Year's Day."
"I'll definitely watch. The show looks like it'll be so fun. You and the Neptune members—if you just showed this, no extra seasoning, exactly as you are in front of the camera, wouldn't that already be entertaining?"
"This?"
"Yes. We see celebrities and managers all the time. Plenty of teams have such a bad atmosphere you can't even crack a joke. But you all really look like you get along."
"I hope it reads that way on air, too."
I meant it.
It was a terrestrial variety show, and Kim Hyunjo and Team Leader Park had readily locked in my appearance, saying I was the best fit—but even now I wasn't sure it would work. I didn't have the comic sense to set a variety show on fire, and more than anything, I wasn't the sort who watched variety for fun. Still, if I was going on, it had to help the kids.
Maybe she caught the grave look on my face. Seoyoung patted my shoulder with her fingertips.
"Don't worry, Oppa! Just stick right beside me! My talent bit is perfect, and I drilled a mountain of predicted questions for the trivia quiz! I memorized every country's capital cold!"
"She stayed up all night memorizing that. It's not like she's sitting the college entrance exam."
LJ clicked her tongue. Seoyoung whipped a glare her way.
"We have to be ready for everything if we're going to get our screen time! Variety is a jungle—a jungle! Go in unprepared and the other cast will walk all over you. You could get edited out completely!"
She machine-gunned the lecture, then added, eyes shining:
"Do you know how good an opportunity this is? I'm going to show them everything!"
The special was titled Star Manager.
The concept looked simple enough: chemistry between a celebrity and their manager. Talk show crossed with variety—gather a batch of celebrities and managers, do talk and games, and at the end give a prize to the team judged the most perfect match. A gift set of premium Korean hanwoo beef. Even Songha's eyes had gone bright at that, motivation welling up.
The talk portion was about drawing funny anecdotes from the managers who knew the celebrities' private lives best. That part would probably be all right somehow. The game was the problem. Its name was Don't Tell Me What to Do—You Try It. They said it swapped celebrities and managers so each could feel what it was like to walk in the other's shoes, but the shooting outline was so thin that no matter how many times I read it, I couldn't tell what they actually intended to do.
"Not a bad look. Pretty convincing."
Kim Hyunjo, late into the waiting room, looked me over as he spoke. For some reason he was alone.
"Where's Geonyoung?"
"Left him with another job and came by myself. How are the kids? First time on a full terrestrial variety special, and all four of them together. They've got to be nervous."
"Of everyone recording today, I think I'm the most nervous."
At that, Kim Hyunjo let out a short laugh.
"Even when you're nervous, it barely shows. You already win on face and atmosphere. Just do it the way you always do."
Lately I'd been taking the kids to shoots just fine without him, but today I was a cast member rather than a manager, and having Kim Hyunjo there felt oddly steadying.
"Well. I'll do my best as far as it goes."
"Good. And when you talk, don't forget you agreed to tell Songha's backstory. That part is guaranteed to air, so have your lines ready."
"That goes without saying. But, Chief."
I licked my dry lips.
"It really is all right to bring it up on air?"
"Came down from upstairs. The president signed off himself. The company's putting out a press release before the broadcast airs, too."
Kim Hyunjo nodded, certain.
"So don't worry about the cleanup. Just say it. That man ought to choke on it a little. Shame we can't drop his real name outright, but this should still smear shit across that smug face of his."
"You think so?"
"Obviously."
Kim Hyunjo smiled, bleak and mean. As if it were catching, the same bleak smile rose at the corner of my mouth.
After several months of manager work, I'd thought I was fairly used to celebrities. Today the air was different. Most of the entertainers I'd seen until now had been singers or actors; today's cast was thick with comedians and career broadcasters. Making the rounds of the dressing rooms to say hello, I felt the life drain straight out of me. It was less a greeting than reconnaissance. Next K-Star was variety too, but that world and this one had nothing in common. I understood why Seoyoung called variety a jungle.
About thirty minutes remained until standby. I sent Kim Hyunjo into the studio set first and waited outside for the kids to change and come out. Before long they approached in their sponsored outfits. One of them was missing.
"Where's Seoyoung?"
LJ clicked her tongue, exasperated.
"She's in the waiting room. Said she's doing one last run-through of her talent bit before we go in."
"She's practicing the bit again?"
This time Songha answered.
"She said she can't concentrate if we're there, so we came out first."
"Go stay with the Chief. I'll bring Seoyoung."
I was heading for the waiting room when Taehee caught my step.
"I think the pressure's weighing on her."
"Pressure?"
Worry surfaced in eyes that were usually as still as a lake.
"From the time we were complete unknowns, Seoyoung kept doing variety to get our name out. Maybe that's why she thinks she has to handle today on her own, somehow. It looks like a lot of weight, but she won't say anything to us."
LJ and Songha each put in a word.
"She was extra at the salon earlier, too. Pacing back and forth like a puppy that needed to poop. She was up all night, so her condition has to be wrecked, and her insisting she felt great bothered me."
"And she only ate a few bites of breakfast. She didn't even touch the lunch box."
"Mm. Got it. Go in and tell the Chief."
I left them and hurried toward the waiting room. I should have watched her more carefully. I'd thought she seemed more excited than usual, but she'd always been desperate to get on variety, so I assumed she was just wound up. Had she been wearing that cheerful smile while crushing herself under the weight alone?
I threw the waiting-room door open in one motion.
No—I stopped on the way in. Seoyoung was standing stock-still in front of the door.
"Seoyoung."
"Oh, Oppa! I was just about to head out?"
She tilted her head. Her voice was as bright as ever. But something was clearly different. A faint redness around the eyes, and inside them, pupils that jittered and creaked.
"Are you that nervous?"
She shook her head hard.
"No? I'm fine!"
"You're not. From where I'm standing, you're not fine."
"I really am fine. Let's go, Oppa!"
But contrary to her words, she couldn't take a single step past the threshold. The feet in round sneakers shuffled, faltered, and returned to where they had been.
"Ugh, I'm gonna lose my mind. Why am I like this……?"
She dropped into a crouch and clutched her head in both hands. The muttering came out wet. I stepped inside and shut the door. Seoyoung, face lowered, lifted it a little. Sure enough, tears brimmed in those large eyes.
"No, I can't cry. My mascara might run!"
"Come on—is that what you should be worrying about right now? There's still time to fix the makeup. It's fine."
I'd said it as lightly as I could, hoping it might take the edge off, but it didn't seem to help. She was flustered, at a loss. I sat down in front of her and met her eyes.
"If it's this heavy, tell me. You haven't done anything wrong. Why are you staying behind in the waiting room, agonizing by yourself?"
"I was definitely fine. I really was fine. But……."
She chewed her lip.
"This is a really good opportunity. Terrestrial, a Lunar New Year special, a full hour as guests. I used to think I just wanted a chance—that if a chance came, I'd do really well. So I practiced every single day…… and then all of a sudden I'm just scared."
"Why?"
"……What if the chance is here, and I can't pull it off?"
Her voice trembled, and a tear fell from eyes twisted tight. The dam she'd been holding by a thread gave way, and after that it was instant. A second tear gathered. A third.
"Aaaah, I'm crying, what do I do! Something to wipe with, something to wipe!"
Afraid the tears running down her cheeks would take the makeup with them, she had her face shoved toward the floor, hands flailing. I pulled a few tissues from the box in the waiting room and held them out. She took them and dabbed, carefully, only where the tears had pooled. I kept pulling tissues and wondered how I was supposed to soothe her. I patted her shoulder. She flinched hard.
"Ah, don't! That makes me cry more! Right now, even just hearing your voice, the tears pour out!"
I had no choice but to take my hand away.
"If you don't do great this once, does the world end? Do better next time. The next album's coming soon, and there'll be plenty of variety ahead. I'll work myself to the bone and keep landing you shows."
"I have to do well this time, too. I'm the one who's done the most variety. Hyunjo oppa, Taehee unnie, LJ, Songha—they're all going to think I'll do well."
"What?"
"I'm a total idiot……!"
Seoyoung slammed her head against the door.