I've Definitely Lost My Mind

I'd definitely lost my mind.

Had I seriously spent the entire day doing nothing but jerking off?

There was no other explanation. I'd gone completely insane.

Floating right in front of my eyes was something I'd only ever seen in novels… a Status Window. More precisely, a quest window.

"I was just beating it and dropped my phone on my face… did I actually knock myself stupid?"

Everyone's dropped a phone on their face at least once, right? I clutched my nose — it hurt like hell — and squinted through the pain, and that's when this bizarre thing I'd never seen in my life materialized in front of me.

At first I figured it was a hallucination. But the way it hung there in midair, holding my gaze hostage, I couldn't write it off as a trick of the light. I could even touch it. When I pressed down with my finger, the page flipped — it was a Status Window, no question about it.

"No way… you're kidding, right?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

It looked like hologram tech you'd only ever see in a movie. Or maybe it was closer to something out of a video game. My name sat at the very top, with my level and stats listed underneath. That kind of window.

"Maybe I pulled too many all-nighters jerking it. Am I actually seeing things?"

I tried to ignore it, grabbing my phone again to get back to the Twingter account I'd been looking at.

That's when it happened.

Ding!

"...The fuck?"

A quest, dropped on me out of nowhere with zero warning and zero context. And putting aside how it showed up — was it even remotely reasonable to tell me I had one week to grope the chest of some Twingter girl I had absolutely no connection to?

I unlocked my phone and opened the Twingter account I'd been looking at.

The account I'd been browsing was the alt account of someone named JINI. Big tits, a killer body, and nothing but suggestive photos — that was the whole pitch. For a guy like me, it was a genuine public service.

The post I'd been staring at looked like it had been taken at the beach. She was stunning in a black bikini.

I'd been following this alt since the very beginning, back when she barely had any followers at all. Not that it changed anything, which was a painful truth in its own right.

"I wanna fuck a girl this hot too. Fuuuck!!"

If that ridiculous quest was telling the truth — if I could actually grab a girl like this by the chest and grope her however I wanted — how amazing would that be? I wanted to know how soft she'd feel. I wanted to look at her and just squeeze. It was the same fantasy I always ran. Groping a girl with an ass and tits that huge while I fucked her — just thinking about it was enough to make my head spin.

Of course, that was the kind of thing that only happened in my imagination. Reality was that I wasn't stupid, which was the only reason I'd scraped my way into a university on the outskirts of Seoul… a perfectly ordinary twenty-year-old guy. Average face. Average body. Average height.

A girl like that, on the other hand — even with her face blurred out, she looked gorgeous, and her body was incredible. Which was another way ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of saying she would never, in a million years, have anything to do with someone like me.

I was just resigning myself to that sad little fact and reaching for my dick with my right hand when a sharp electric jolt shot through me, and a warning flared across the quest window.

"...Fuck...?"

This was looking less and less like a dream. I slapped myself hard enough to make a loud smack, and the pain came through perfectly. Not a dream.

Which meant… I actually had to grope the girl behind that Twingter alt?

Finding her was a problem all by itself. And if I actually found her and started grabbing her chest, wouldn't that be an even bigger disaster? I could end up splashed across the nine o'clock news.

I reached for my dick again. Another electric jolt, and the quest window shoved itself in front of my eyes once more. Whatever this was, it hurt too much to write off as a hallucination. This was real. Some stubborn corner of my mind still wanted to believe it was just an extremely vivid dream, but—

If it turned out to be real, the penalty was unspeakably cruel. Permanent erectile dysfunction, for a twenty-year-old virgin in the prime of his life. That was a straight-up I've been castrated situation.

On top of that, the timer was ticking down in real time. It had started at one week. Sometime while I wasn't looking, it had already dropped to six days, twenty-three hours, and forty-eight minutes.

So what the hell could I even do to find this girl?

Send her a Twingter message?

"Fuck. The second I ask where she lives, I'd be lucky not to get blocked."

And it wasn't like I had some magic trick for tracking her location myself. My eyes squeezed shut under the sheer hopelessness of it — and then a thought flashed through my mind.

"There was a shop earlier, wasn't there...?"

If the thing was going to dump a quest like this on me, the least it could do was sell me something useful. That was just common sense, right? I hurried back to the quest window. A tiny Shop button sat underneath it. I jammed it.

A list of items and prices filled the air in front of me.

I sorted the list by lowest price, and there it was — the exact thing I'd been hoping for.

"It's actually there...?"

Honestly, I'd been ready to call the whole thing bullshit. But seeing this sealed it. The situation in front of me was unmistakably real. I hadn't done a thing, and yet a single Coin had been sitting there as a freebie, like it had been deposited for exactly this purpose.

"Sudden Hint, purchase."

A chime rang out, and the Sudden Hint dropped into my inventory.

I used the Sudden Hint, and information on the owner of the Twingter alt account appeared.

"N-next doooor?!"

I came this close to screaming out loud.

"So that means the owner of the Twingter account I've been looking at is the girl next door?"

For the record, I was living on my own in a studio near campus because of university classes. As far as I remembered, two other people lived on my floor. Room 201 and Room 202.

I'd barely ever seen whoever was in 201. Room 202, I'd heard, belonged to a girl older than me.

And that girl was JINI from Twingter?

This was… completely insane.

In which case, there was only one correct next step. Obviously, I had to go next door.

I hurried through a face-wash, even finished a shave, and threw on the clothes that had been scattered across the floor. I looked relatively like a human being.

"So now I just… touch the girl next door's chest...?"

No matter how I turned it over, I was a lunatic. I at least needed a decent excuse.

"Right… 'Hi? A quest just popped up telling me to touch your chest, so if I could have a moment?' Yeah, that's just being a psycho."

"Or, 'You're the owner of this Twingter account, right? Be a good girl and let me grope you.' That's a one-way ticket to getting arrested for blackmail..."

I turned it over and over, but a brain that had spent all day ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠jerking off was in no condition to spit out a single normal thought.

"Ah, fuck it… frontal assault it is."

With a grim, determined look on my face and my phone still open to Twingter in one hand, I stepped out the front door.

The chilly March wind brushed my face, and apparently that was enough to snap me back to my senses, because I turned right around, shut the door, and came back inside.

"This… this actually makes no sense..."

"Dad… if you can see me right now… please tell me the right answer..."

I sat there with a look of utter despair, scrolling back up through JINI's Twingter. Older photos of her slid past — and then I stopped.

"Wait a second… this is...?"

Something caught my eye even more than JINI in her obscene lingerie. The floorboards in the background of the photo. The color, the grain of the wood — it was identical to the floor of the studio I was standing in right now.

The second I had that one piece of information, I tore through the rest of JINI's Twingter. The chair she sat in with her legs crossed was the same as the one in my room. The dingy wallpaper was the same color as mine. The bed she was lying on with her tongue sticking out looked exactly like the one I slept in.

My eyes lit up. In that moment, I had the eye of a detective. Every single detail overlapped with my own room.

"So she really is… the girl next door?"

That fact alone was enough to make my crotch swell.

It was time to confirm it in person. I shoved my feet into my slippers, stepped out the front door, and headed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for Room 202.

Room 202 — a door I'd always walked past without a second thought — might be JINI's place. The second that idea landed, my heart started hammering.

"...I can ring the doorbell, right?"

Part of me wanted to turn around and leave right then. But my brain was already running on instinct, and my hand was moving.

Ding-dong.

The doorbell rang, and a flurry of rustling started up from inside, followed by a voice.

"...Who is it?"

"Uh, um… delivery."

It was the only excuse I could come up with.

Luckily, the word "delivery" didn't seem to make the girl next door particularly suspicious, because she opened the front door. And the neighbor who appeared… something about her was off.