The Red Spots
The life of a sucker. I don't know what kind of DNA is soaked into my body, but apparently I take it as a given that throwing this whole body of mine for a woman—or for the sake of a woman—is just the natural thing to do. Maybe the reason I get that vicarious thrill watching porn is because I want to deny that instinct. Something indescribable surges up inside me at the sight of a woman surrounded by men, looking like she's taking it.
Anyway, I succeeded in fishing the woman out. I newly realized just how hard it is to drag a single person onto dry land when your own body is completely soaked and heavy as hell. I was gasping for breath, drenched in sweat and river water.
But this woman wasn't moving an inch—dead or unconscious, I couldn't tell.
I groped for my smartphone to call an ambulance. The phone that should have been in my pocket was gone. Looks like I dropped it in the Han River when I fell in.
"Crazy. Crazy. Crazy!"
The real problem was that I couldn't perform any proper rescue measures. I remembered watching CPR videos and getting the training back in the military, but fuck, how many people actually pay attention to that shit? And from what I recalled, if you do artificial respiration wrong you can end up crushing someone's ribs.
Still, I had to do something. I couldn't just leave a person to die like this.
I first stripped off the woman's top. Stacking both hands between the breasts of the woman still wearing her bra, I placed them firmly.
Alright, even a passing shit-dog knows this much. Remember. Remember. Remember.
With both arms fully extended I started pumping, using the rebound. Not too hard, not too soft either.
I don't know if it was instinct or some other feeling, but the moment my hands touched her, I started seeing a hemispherical red energy flowing through her entire body.
Suddenly I realized this wasn't the first time. When I watched porn or bare models on TV, I had occasionally seen these same hemispherical red dots drifting around. Whenever I asked the people next to me, they said they couldn't see a thing. So I figured I was just seeing things—yet the symptoms kept happening, and every time I just kept quiet and moved on.
What the hell is this? I wondered, but when I saw the red spot lingering slightly above where my hands were, I unconsciously shifted a little higher. The moment I applied gentle pressure and pressed, her whole body shuddered as if convulsing. Then she bolted upright and spewed water from her mouth.
"Keheuk. Heuk!"
I saved her. I actually brought her back. Letting out a long sigh of relief and not knowing what else to do, I patted the spot on her back where the red mark still glowed. Vitality that hadn't been there before. Red spots bloomed densely all over her pale skin, and she started shivering hard, as if the cold had finally hit her.
I gently rubbed those red spots with my hands, and each time they slowly faded away.
"Are you okay?"
When I spoke she looked up at me with resentful eyes. Hair plastered to her face made it hard to see clearly, but overall it was a pretty face. Big eyes, thick double eyelids. Looking at the somewhat fierce pointed bridge of her nose and that unnaturally sharp jawline, I knew right away it was a surgically enhanced face.
"You should have just left me to die."
Absurd words. I frowned as she coughed and spat out whatever she felt like saying.
"You can jump again or do whatever the hell you want—just don't do it in front of me. I'm scared I might lose my own life too."
I stood up and tried to shake the water off my body, but it was useless. At best I managed to knock off a little of the mud that had stuck because of the wetness.
Maybe my words pricked her conscience; she nodded and apologized. Still seemed like a decent person at heart. She looked sorry for having caused trouble for someone else.
"Where do you live? It has to be at least three in the morning by now."
"..."
Since she stayed silent I handed her the top I had stripped off. She stood to put it on, and as if being in nothing but her underwear was no big deal she calmly met my eyes while dressing.
"Want me to take you home? Or should I just leave? Stay like this and you'll die of a cold without even managing to kill yourself."
She seemed to find my words absurdly funny and smirked, flipping her seaweed-wet hair back. Having thrown her first life into the Han River, she looked a little more alive now. Maybe she had just been in such a shitty mood she only wanted to dip her feet in the water.
When she still didn't answer I dug in my pocket for cigarettes. Smartphone gone, but the smokes were still there. Even those, though, were already useless—soaked like wet matches.
"Ah, they're all wet. Fuck."
I stuck the least-soaked one between my lips and flicked the lighter; of course it was futile. While I was still wrestling with the cigarette the woman suddenly burst out laughing, loud and free.
You crazy? I stared at her with that question written all over my face. She got embarrassed, cut the laughter short, and finally opened the mouth she had kept shut.
"Want me to buy you a cigarette?"
"... While you're at it, buy me a smartphone too. Pretty sure I dropped it in the Han River saving your ass."
"Come on. Who asked you to save me?"
"You... Ha, forget it."
Cigarettes are fine but a phone doesn't make economic sense? Fuck, so the price of that life was about forty-five hundred won. Even as I flung the cigarette to the ground with a sour face she kept smiling with that pretty face, finding something endlessly funny.
"Then I'll be going."
Three in the morning. The world around us was dead quiet.
I would have to climb around the steep embankment along the Han River before any real path appeared. This stretch was never meant for people to come and go. As I made a trail wherever my feet landed, the woman trailed after me like a little duckling.
"Don't I need to buy you that cigarette?"
"Ah, forget it. If you're buying smokes, buy a phone with them."
"Okay. I'll buy a smartphone too."
I stopped and looked back. This woman—was she sucking up now because I saved her or what? Suddenly the fox-like Kim Seoa who wiggles her ass came to mind. I've been played once or twice already. Wait—but this isn't even a loss for me.
I started walking again and said,
"I asked where you live."
"I'm not telling. And I'm not planning to go home right now either."
"Then want to come to my place? I live alone."
"Puhup. What does living alone have to do with anything? Like you'll try something just because your parents aren't around."
"No. I mean at this hour it's awkward to walk into a family house, and if parents are there they might get suspicious."
"You don't have to explain every little detail."
"Because I'm a loser."
"Do losers jump into the Han River to save other people's lives?"
"Originally, losers are scarier because they have nothing left to lose."
"Ah, I see. Then let's go with that. Is your place far from here?"
She had already drawn up beside me and was walking together. I glanced at her profile, puzzled.
"You're really coming to my place? We've never met and don't even know each other's names."
"Then why did you save a complete stranger?"
"Ah, thinking about it now I suddenly regret it. Why the hell did I do that?"
Anyone listening would have heard the playfulness in those words. I newly felt a strange emotion rising at the simple fact that I was walking alone with a woman.
That was when it happened. Walking barefoot she stepped wrong on a stone and staggered. I shot out a hand and caught her arm.
"Aigoo, seriously. Be careful."
"... Sorry."
"You okay? Can you walk?"
"I think I sprained my foot a little."
She spoke with difficulty and limped. I thought she was really something else, yet at the same time a tender feeling welled up inside. The arm I held was delicate and thin. Because of the wetness her clothes clung tight to her body and turned completely see-through, looking lewd as hell. Of course that didn't mean I got hard in the middle of all this.
"Get on my back."
"Huh?"
I turned and showed my back to the flustered woman.
"I said get on."
"Ah, I can still walk though."
"No more talk—get on."
She climbed onto my back and I carried her toward the road like that. Until a moment ago I had seen even her bra, yet the instant her chest crushed against my back a completely different feeling rose up.
Before long cars started passing here and there; luckily a taxi came by and I flagged it down. The distance only cost the base fare, so we arrived soon. I pulled a card from my soaked wallet and paid the fare with tears in my eyes.
The second we got out I hoisted her onto my back again and climbed up to the building that held my studio.
A shabby place on a hill you could never proudly show anyone. Redevelopment still hadn't reached this neighborhood, so the surrounding terrain was ugly as sin and made the already rundown building look even more pathetic.
"Would've been nice if I lived in a decent place, huh? Too bad."
"No. I'm the one imposing—why would I care about that?"
"First take a warm shower. You have to wait a while after turning the water on before it gets hot, so dry yourself with the dryer until then or something."
When I opened the door and stepped inside she grinned wide.
"Hehe. Bachelor smell. No girlfriend, right?"
"Ahssi. Want to get kicked out?"
At my words she smiled sweetly and went straight into the bathroom right next to the entrance. That's how these studios are built—the bathroom sits right beside the shoe-off spot the moment you walk in. Some architect must have been dying to take a shit when he designed this layout. Inside: one bed, one computer desk, one closet. End of tour.
I just grabbed a towel from the bathroom, roughly wiped my wet body, and sat on the chair.
What a spectacular day. Until Kim Seoa's call it had been ordinary to the point of boredom. Eating dakgalbi like a king, signing up for insurance, walking all the way to the Han River and then risking my life to save someone. One of the few truly rare days of my life, I guess. If my life was going to throw a panorama like this I should have kept a diary.
By the way—am I going to sleep with this woman tonight? As you can see, there's only one bed. It's late; I figured she would stay over. Suddenly my heart started hammering. Way too much for a lifelong virgin.
The whirring of the dryer. Then the sound of water pouring, hitting something, and cascading down smooth tiles. In that moment strange imaginations bloomed. Both Kim Seoa and this woman had good bodies. Even with the bra on, those prominent breasts and the coke-bottle figure revealed by clinging wet clothes. Warm water would be running over a body made of soft white mounds right now.
!
I felt it instinctively. I'm sleeping with this woman today! Recalling scenes I had only ever seen in porn, I let my imagination run wild. Grabbing her slender waist and thrusting from below; my rough fingers sliding between her delicate ones, interlocking; heating the atmosphere with the right positions and the right words.
So this is how things end up today.
My dick that held out for twenty-nine years—finally you have a use, you bastard!
I thought again. What if it shows that I'm a virgin forever? I watched enough porn; if I just copy exactly what they do... I heard first-timers can't even find the hole properly.
While I was thinking every ridiculous thing under the sun, quite some time must have passed; the woman opened the door and peeked her head out.
"Um... can you give me something to change into? Anything. Shorts or a T-shirt..."
"Ah, yes!"
I rummaged through the closet for something decent. But sexual fantasy kicked in mid-search and I ended up handing her a large dress shirt and the shorts I usually wear around the house.
Huff, huff. Yeah—an oversized dress shirt. The kind so big the sleeves cover your hands and you have to grip the cuffs with your fingers. I felt myself getting activated little by little. Imagination really is that stimulating.
First thing to do after losing virginity: delete every last porn file on the computer. After that, whenever the urge hits, just recall the first night as fap material, crank the imagination to max, stage the most stimulating scenes possible, and take care of business happily.
Even better if I could do it with this woman every single night!
Before long she came out wearing the dress shirt that was way too big for her. The hem hung so low I couldn't even tell whether she had put the shorts on. Naturally those long, slender legs were fully exposed, and the sight was filthy sexy.
"I brought the dryer out. Going to dry my hair. You must be cold—hurry and wash."
"Ah, yes."
I bolted into the bathroom. Outside I could hear the low wooong of the dryer. Listening to that sound I washed myself happily under the warm water. So this is the real-life scene I had only ever heard about, the one only I never knew. I used to imagine that when people entered a motel the conversation went, "Oppa, I'll wash first." "Yeah, hurry up and come out. I can't hold it." "Aing. Beast." Right now it wasn't all that different. The only difference was that she and I weren't dating.
Come to think of it, I don't even know her name. No—maybe not knowing the name makes it even more exciting. Getting excited makes me impatient. Ah, is washing really that important? Let's get outside already.
I scrubbed quickly with body wash, toweled off, and put on the clothes I had set aside. If I walked out naked I might get slapped.
When I stepped out she was lying on the bed as quiet as a dead mouse. Under the fluorescent light her face was flushed deep red. She noticed belatedly that I had come out and cast a glance my way.
"You're out?"
Haa... haa...
She was breathing hard. But it was nothing like the lewd kind of panting. The air around her, the red spots blooming on her skin—everything felt different.
"... I think I have a fever. Ha... It was fine earlier."
I laid my hand on her burning forehead. Definitely feverish. Maybe the tension had finally let go.
I settled her as comfortably as I could. Then, murmuring a short "sorry," I undid the buttons of the dress shirt.
I didn't have any other thoughts. I was simply bothered by the red spots that had appeared all over her body.
She probably took it as me meaning to wipe away her sweat because she was so hot.
The spots were scattered intermittently across her skin. And above all, the ankle she claimed she had sprained earlier was burning an especially vivid red.
Could this be...?