The Price of a Secret
In my entire life I had never seen—or even heard of—a woman who talked that bluntly. She wasn't some porn actress who'd torn her way out of an adult video; she wasn't a "ya-jjin-nyeo." But when a face like hers said things like that, there was no holding out. Under the towel my lower half had thickened into something thick and heavy, and I had to fire off the national anthem at machine-gun speed inside my head just to keep it together.
Poke, poke, poke.
Lee Yeondo must have spotted the tent I was pitching. She giggled, waving a hand as she spoke.
"Just kidding. Ah, your reactions are seriously too fun. By the way, you're in great shape."
She was playing me completely.
Then, with that same innocent face, she went right back to teaching. The fine details of hand shapes, how to turn the body for back and waist massage, the palpation techniques for calves and lower back—I learned every last bit of it.
Shuttling back and forth between cold water and hot water had put me through full erection, half erection, and weak erection in turn, so my groin ached with a dull, heavy throb. I'd watched enough porn that ordinary stimulation barely registered anymore, but this time it hit hard. Those pretty eyes that looked ready to swallow a man whole, plus the constant touching, did their share of the damage.
"We're done. Anything else you're curious about?"
"No, nothing."
I sat on the edge of the bed with a bitter expression. Yeondo settled a handspan away and tilted her head, studying my face.
"Are you mad because I teased you?"
"No. I'm not mad."
"Puhaha. Ever since earlier it's been nothing but 'No!' and 'I'm not!' You're mad. You're totally mad. Is there really nothing you're curious about? I'm completely free right now. Opportunities like this don't come around often."
"You looked pretty free to me already."
My counter made her brow twitch just a little.
"Even when you're free, skill doesn't rust. Sorry. I honestly wasn't trying to make you angry."
She gave a sly little smile and leaned toward the bed in a languid, seductive pose. Looking properly now, her chest was fairly small. I stole a glance; our eyes met. I jerked my gaze away at once, but there was no hiding the awkwardness.
After a round of laughter faded, Yeondo cleared her throat and spoke again.
"I hear you're pretty skilled."
"Excuse me?"
"I overheard you talking with the director earlier. Sounds like you already won over a VIP regular."
"Ah, well… I got lucky, I guess?"
"What's the secret?"
"There isn't any secret."
"Hmm. So it's a secret, then. I just finished teaching you all my hidden techniques, and now you're calling it a secret. Wow, my heart feels so grand. So rewarding."
"How am I supposed to tell you something that doesn't exist?"
"Sure, sure."
"Could you turn around so I can get dressed?"
"Alrighty~"
She flopped face-down on the bed and started scrolling on her phone, legs swinging and thumping against the mattress as if she had zero interest in me changing clothes.
While I dressed I snuck a look at her screen, curious what all that famous social-butterfly energy actually looked like. Surprisingly ordinary: she was just chatting with her girlfriends. Reading the conversation, though, made my face heat up.
I must have stared too long. When I turned my head, sat back down, and cleared my throat, Yeondo finally reacted.
"All dressed?"
"Yeah…"
There was no way I could look straight at the face of a woman who, moments ago, had been telling her friends she wanted to fuck me. Sigh. For a guy who'd only had his first time the other day, this trial was a massive gate to pass through.
So that was why she'd acted that way toward me. Men get horny, sure, but I'd heard women can get just as hungry for it. Especially the stretch from the twenties into the thirties—apparently the drive goes nuclear. Of course that was just random internet knowledge I'd picked up from some stranger's post.
"So… still no change of heart?"
"About what?"
"Heavenly secrets. Spill a little, please."
"I keep telling you, there isn't anything."
"Hmm~ You don't even realize you're the type who can't lie."
This really was a world of eat or be eaten. The same way I'd seen through that married woman, she was sitting on top of my head and seeing straight through me. But I wasn't going to stay the one getting eaten forever. I really was hiding something, and that something had jacked up my confidence. Plus, after reading her texts, I could afford to be a little bolder.
I leaned in close, head bowed toward her half-reclining form. She startled at the sudden move but held perfectly still, refusing to show it.
"You really want to know? The price is pretty steep."
"Steeper than what I taught you? Too expensive to call it even?"
"Yeah, way steeper. With those techniques of yours you don't even have one regular. I've already got two."
"…"
I'd said something so accurate it left Yeondo speechless. She studied my face up close; the look in her eyes was completely different from before.
"Think it'll stop at two? I'm going to make dozens—hundreds—more."
"Heh. Confidence looks good on you. So what is it?"
"Not for free."
"What do you want, then?"
I let the silence hang a beat, then dragged my gaze slowly down her body all the way to her toes. At that intense look her body gave a little shiver. The second I caught it, I spoke.
"Sex."
"What? Wh-what did you say?"
Yeondo went scarlet all the way to her ears. Even though she was close enough that our breath mixed, she kept drawing deep, shaky breaths. Something fruity drifted from between her lips. Her eyes flicked back and forth between my mouth and my eyes, like she was timing a kiss. Was she really this easy? If I just tilted forward a little, our lips would meet. After that it would be pure free-fall into each other. I painted the filthy picture in my head.
But right then I pulled back and laughed loud and free.
"Hahahaha. I just did exactly what you did to me earlier. How does it feel getting it back?"
"…What?"
Her brain must have short-circuited. Yeondo flailed in pure fluster—then actually got irritated.
"Ah, what the hell. So childish."
"It's fun when you do it, not fun when it happens to you, right?"
"…"
"Lee Yeondo."
"What, what."
"This is my secret. My expensive trade secret."
She sat up properly now, staring blankly up at me—half stunned, half impressed. She wouldn't be treating me carelessly anymore.
I looked down at her with my arms crossed; she dropped her head like a woman who'd just been cruelly dumped.
And she must have understood exactly what I meant, because she stuck her tongue out in defeat.
"The director was right after all. You're good. Really good at reeling people in and letting them go."
"Did your heart skip a beat for a second?"
"Hah. It did, without me even realizing. But so…"
What, it skipped a beat? Look at her still wagging her tail till the end.
Yeondo twisted the tip of her hair shyly and continued.
"Payment for the secret. You called it expensive, so I should treat you to something. Doesn't look like I'll ever use it myself, so let's just settle it with a meal."
We both knew perfectly well that what she'd heard was meaningless to her. Yet she was offering to buy me dinner—now who was supposed to be the cute one here?
I grinned slyly and shot back.
"A meal won't cut it."
"Ah, come on, you're driving a hard bargain."
"Make it drinks."
"…"
"And expensive side dishes."
Yeondo's big eyes lowered; she seemed to sink into thought for a moment. Her lips looked dry—she flicked her tongue out to wet them. After mulling it over she finally spoke.
"…When."
The night of my second day at work arrived. I spent the last slot watching Choi Wonjae's VIP massage, but other thoughts kept blooming fresh in my head.
The phone I'd just activated under a new number was already filled with the names of pretty women.
Jin Ayoung. Shin Iseol. Lee Yeondo.
Only a few days ago my smartphone had been nothing but guys. Losing that phone had been practically a divine revelation. The new one—both in looks and in content—was impossible not to love.
During a short break I got the director's permission and checked the messages that needed reading receipts.
I didn't bother opening them. My mood lifted for no good reason and the corners of my mouth climbed vertically.
Jin Ayoung was someone I couldn't thank enough. Sure, I'd saved her life, but thanks to her I'd also had my first time and found a real reason for my confidence to rise.
Shin Iseol was a hilarious woman. She'd already posted the schedule warning in the group chat, yet still sent me a private message. She was clearly straining every muscle to get tangled up with me somehow.
But of the three, Lee Yeondo was the prettiest. Two years younger than me—twenty-seven. Those big eyes and small face looked just like the top-tier AV actresses I'd always liked. The only difference was the modest chest.
I pressed the power button and blacked out the screen.
There was no need to rush anything. The single biggest lesson twenty-nine years of life had hammered into me was this: never let a woman make a sucker out of you. Now it was time to hand back all the frustration and pain I'd taken. Physical relationships—bodies colliding under mutual need and trust, nothing more, nothing less. Keep them long-term, savor them slowly.
Even if I succeeded and then went looking for a woman who matched that success, it wouldn't be too late.
Of the three women I only replied to Jin Ayoung.
A few seconds later another reply landed. I checked it with a warm feeling.
Looking at the photo sent a sweet jolt through my chest. In the picture she was wearing a bunny-girl outfit. Was this real life? It felt like compensation for every year I'd lived so far.
On the way home after work I traded cheerful texts with Jin Ayoung. How long had it been since I'd felt like this? It was almost exactly the same flutter I'd had texting a campus crush back in university. Of course, in the end it turned out only I thought it was a mutual crush—but still, the thump-thump, the racing heart. I was only twenty-nine, yet flower-scented blood seemed to be flowing through my veins; I felt like I was getting younger again.
Then the elevator carried me up to my floor and someone was standing in front of my door. The sensor light was on where I stood, so it was bright, while that side was dark and hard to make out—but from the height and the long hair it was definitely a woman.
Someone who would come to my place… it couldn't be Mom coming up from the countryside. Even before I lost my phone we barely talked.
Who is it…?