Arriving at the Motel
Sooin really did just say he wants to have sex with me, right? Flustered, I could only roll my eyes this way and that, and before long he picked up where he'd left off.
"You asked me earlier why I bought this leather, remember?"
"Yes..."
What did that have to do with any of this?
"I've always been curious about what pleasure feels like for a man. What it's like to thrust into a woman, whether fellatio is really as satisfying as everyone makes it out to be. Especially since, unlike a woman's orgasm, a man supposedly feels this overwhelming rush all at once when he comes—I wanted so badly to experience that."
Oh. So it was relevant. This was even more perverted than I'd imagined. Perverted, sure... but I understood. My own first act after putting on the leather had been to masturbate, after all. I figured anyone whose sex suddenly changed would want to check their new erogenous zones.
"So after buying this leather, I made it my goal to sleep with as many women as I could. How many has it been so far... hmm, I honestly can't remember."
One, two—in a flash, all ten of his fingers were spread wide. Watching him hold up his open hand and laugh out a "haha," a deep self-loathing began welling up from the bottom of my heart. Sooin had bought his leather roughly a year ago, and he'd done it so many times he couldn't even keep count? Looking at that face of his, I could see how... but was this what the so-called "in-crowd" lived like? Then what on earth had my twenty-some years of living as a man been?
"So you can put aside any worries about not feeling anything. I guarantee it'll feel good—"
"No, no no no, that's not the part I'm worried about!"
"Then which part exactly are you worried about?"
"I... I was originally a man! This is a woman's body now, sure, but having a man thrust into me feels like a lot, I don't know, it's just..."
"Hmm... but I was originally a woman too, so wouldn't that make it no different from ordinary sex?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
I had never once thought about it that way. Sex between a man and a woman—and then sex between a woman wearing a man's leather and a man wearing a woman's leather. The plus and the minus had simply flipped to minus and plus, so the end result was identical... was it? Huh? Something felt off about that, but no rebuttal would come.
"Then what if, hypothetically, one of us accidentally got pregnant..."
"There's no need to worry about pregnancy—this body is leather. Leather is sold with reproductive function removed as standard. Did you not know that?"
Uh, no, I had no idea. But wait—did "as standard" mean you could adjust the options and make pregnancy possible?
"Besides, I—I have no intention of ending up in that kind of relationship with you, Sooin."
"This is just a one-night stand. We each enjoy ourselves once and we're done. I won't ask anything more of you than that, Yerim."
I was losing. Every objection I raised was being logically shut down. I racked my brain desperately, but no new ideas came.
"Aren't you curious too, Yerim? About how good sex as a woman feels."
Honestly, I was. It would be a lie to say I had no interest in sex. But...
"You told me earlier, didn't you? That you bought the leather because you 'wanted to try performing as someone else.' I think you ought to be a little more honest with that feeling. Wouldn't you like to experience a woman's pleasure, for the sake of an even more convincing performance?"
I fell silent. The scales in my heart were slowly tipping. Just once—surely once couldn't hurt? I was curious what it would feel like, and I felt a little guilty toward Sooin, who was pleading his case with such passion...
"Yerim."
"Y-yes?!"
As I hemmed and hawed, he took hold of my hand. Startled, I looked up, and a pair of dead-serious eyes filled my vision.
"Please."
...Haah, fine. There was no helping it. I had nothing left to argue, and with him making that kind of face, how was anyone supposed to say no...
"Okay... fine."
"Hm?"
"I said okay! I'll, um, have sex with you. I will, so..."
I couldn't get another word out. He had bowed his head and kissed me.
"Mmph?"
It wasn't one of those passionate kisses. Just a peck—lips meeting for a moment, then parting. But for someone who had never once been kissed (family aside), it was a colossal shock. My face flared hot, and I cupped my burning cheeks in my hands, able to produce nothing but pathetic little sounds—Eh? Whuh? Whaaat?
"Shall we go, then?"
"...Yes..."
The man himself, acting as if nothing had happened, started leading the way toward the motel. So annoying! Annoying, and yet... it didn't feel bad, exactly. His face had come so close, and those lips...
"Yerim."
"Ah, ah... yes? What is it?"
"It's dangerous to walk around with your head in the clouds like that. The road is right there beside you."
And whose fault is it that I'm like this? The words climbed all the way to my throat and I swallowed them back down. No, he knew exactly what he was doing. Look at him right now—smirking at me while looking straight at me.
"...Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Because you're cute."
Fuck, another clean hit. How could he drop a line like that without so much as a flicker in his expression? I hastily turned my head the other way, struggling to steady my pounding heart. Was this what women felt when they looked at a handsome man? Something seemed to be seeping out from the center of my chest, entirely of its own accord.
"Yerim."
"...What."
"May I hold your hand?"
"...Do as you like."
His left hand slipped into my right, lacing our fingers together and squeezing tight, as if he would never let go. Neither of us said another word until we reached the motel. But that silence carried more feeling than our entire conversation at the café had. That stillness—God, the way it set my heart racing.
I had never been to a motel before. Not the family-trip condo kind of stay—I mean the kind where you go with a woman. And so motels had always carried a vaguely seedy image in my mind. The interior that met me as I stepped, tense, through the entrance was...
"...Completely normal."
"What were you expecting?"
"Well, isn't a motel supposed to feel a certain way? Kind of pink and dim and sleazy?"
"What on earth are you talking about..."
Ignoring his look of disbelief, I glanced this way and that. Walls and floors finished in clean, upscale materials, elegant lighting softly bathing the lobby. I'd noticed the building was on the large side before we even went in, but wasn't this a bit too classy?
"Is this actually a hotel and not a motel? Isn't it expensive?"
"It's definitely one of the nicer places, yes. But even factoring that in, there's no reason to be this surprised. Yerim, I thought you were joking about having no experience, but you really were a virgin—"
"Stop. Say that one more time and I'm turning around and walking straight out."
"Okay, okay. My apologies."
We approached the counter. A woman with a neatly kept bob was working on something at the computer. Mid-twenties, maybe? Sensing our presence, she lifted her head and looked us over.
"Got rooms open? No way you're booked solid already, not at this hour."
I was thrown by how abruptly he'd switched to casual speech. Could you really talk to motel staff like that?
"Of course we do. You're here earlier than usual today?"
"It just worked out that way. For the time... let's make it an overnight. A short stay probably wouldn't cut it. Here's my card."
"Sure. Here's your key—room 403."
"Thanks."
Huh? Listening to them, it sounded like they knew each other.
"You two... know each other?"
"Ah, I should have explained beforehand. This is a friend of mine. She works here, so I've leaned on her now and then."
"'Now and then' my ass—you were in here with two women just a few days ago."
"Let's keep the language civil, hm? You're making Yerim uncomfortable."
"Yerim? Ah... it's nice to meet you. I'm Kang Soyeon."
"Ah, ah, yes! Nice to meet you too!"
Caught off guard by the sudden introduction, I fumbled a hurried bow. A friend, huh. So had she met Sooin while he was wearing the leather? She probably didn't know about it, though...
"This one's got unusual eyes, you know. Same as yours—what was it again, that thing?"
"Uh."
"I'm sorry—same as what? What... what thing?"
"There's no need to hide the leather from her. We've known each other for ages—she knows I'm a woman, and she knows I wear it."
"Oh right, 'leather.' Never could get used to saying that word. So you were originally a man, then?"
"Ah, yes! Yes..."
Whoa. This was mortifying. I hadn't expected to be found out so easily. More than that—did she think I was a pervert? A man wearing a woman's leather—anyone would be shocked...
"Lee Sooin—that little shit's got a bit of a screw loose, but he grows on you. You two share the same hobby, so I figure you'll get along just fine."
Huh? That was it? She wasn't going to ask me anything else? I turned to Sooin with a bewildered look, but he only smiled.
"Anyway, take good care of Sooin tonight. He's secretly pretty skilled, so I doubt you'll regret it."
"'Secretly'? What a strange thing to say. Last Christmas, you were screaming so—"
"You wanna die?"
Wow. So a person's face really could turn that frightening. At that look, Sooin gave a wry smile and let it drop with an "Okay, okay, I won't bring it up again." Judging by the reaction, those two had... done it too, right?
"Anyway, we're heading up. Don't you have work to do?"
"I'm not busy, so hurry up and get lost."
The words were curt, but the mood was nothing of the sort. Just as you'd expect from friends who'd known each other forever, an easy familiarity flowed between them. As we passed the counter and headed for the room, I tossed him a question.
"You two seem really close."
"We've known each other since elementary school. Even knowing about this hobby of mine, she treats me exactly the same... She's a good friend."
A good friend, huh. Baek Chiwon's face drifted into my mind. Chiwon was, without question, a good guy. But if my leather were ever discovered—if he learned that "Park Yerim," the girlfriend I'd claimed to have, was actually me—would he still stay my friend after that? I had no way of knowing.
"There's something I'd like to ask..."
"What is it?"
"Would it be all right if I spoke casually once we're in the room?"
Somehow we had already arrived at the door. Sliding the keycard between his fingers, he went on.
"You could call it a preference of mine... I have this thing. I'm not saying we should drop all formality—just while we have sex. If it would make you uncomfortable, please tell me."
I hesitated for a moment. It wasn't that casual speech bothered me. It was just that the word "preference" snagged on something. Maybe the real reason he'd bought the leather wasn't lust, but...
"That's fine. It'd be weird to back out now anyway. In exchange, I'm speaking casually from here on too, deal?"
He blinked at me wide-eyed for a beat, then burst out laughing—pfft.
"Sure. You're all mentally prepared, right?"
"Did that ages ago. Now open the door already."
Beep—the lock clicked as he pressed the keycard to the door, and it swung open. As I stepped over the threshold, my heart was brimming with anticipation. What kind of experience awaited me here today?