Swallowing the Sorrow
“What? A prophecy?”
“Yes. It wasn’t told to me directly, but through our parents. The shocking tale was that a dragon would descend upon our ducal estate around late summer next year.”
“Ah…”
A sigh escaped like a lament.
From that brief reaction alone, Cassel sensed that Pay knew something about the matter. Yet he did not press her.
“It was so hard to believe that I requested the Magic Tower’s Truth-Reading Statue. I brought one of Dot’s belongings and asked about it, and the statue spoke of ‘the forgotten legacy of the past.’ It was truly strange. And then…”
At the end of his tale, Cassel recounted the vision he had witnessed amid his suffering.
“I had clearly never experienced it before, yet I was reading a letter Father had sent. The contents were odd as well. Everything was unfolding completely differently from how things are now.”
“……”
“The letter said that ‘that child Eina’ was returning to the monastery. But if the Dot you speak of is not Eina in reality, then Pay, Tiana… does that mean you were once Eina?”
Pay did not readily answer yes or no. She merely met his gaze and offered a sorrowful smile, and the perceptive Cassel caught on.
The forgotten legacy of the past meant events that had occurred, yet everyone had forgotten.
‘Good heavens…’
Pay tightly shut her eyes, then hesitated before addressing him as she slowly opened them again.
“…What should I call you?”
“Whatever you wish. Anything is fine.”
“Then, when we’re alone, I’ll call you Brother Cassel. Cassel… Brother.”
Cassel’s large hand reached out to gently stroke her cheek. His touch was cautious yet warm and reassuring.
In that moment, Pay understood why Momo, despite being such a powerful being, clung to her and yearned for her affection.
Intelligent creatures find it difficult to endure life alone with steadfast resolve. More precisely, because they know what loneliness is, they long for a pillar they can lean on.
I suppose I am the same.
That is why we are born and live as humans.
Now that Pay had completely erased all traces of her past life, she opened her lips and began a story far longer than the one he had shared.
“We traveled back in time. About two years ago…”
By the time she finished briefly explaining why she had come to this place from the past, it was already well past noon.
Even though she had kept her explanation concise, recounting events from her earliest years made the tale stretch on.
Insisting that even important matters could wait and that she must eat first, Cassel had a “simple lunch” brought up.
It was simple by his standards, and perhaps because it was the first meal he was sharing with the sister he had finally found, the table was laden with nearly dozens of dishes.
He had personally selected every single item, and there was an abundance of meat. It seemed as though every animal rumored to have delicious legs had been slaughtered and served.
Pay inwardly groaned at the sight of the enormous table.
‘Well, when eating, it would be better to sit a little closer…’
Nevertheless, they began their tremendous feast.
Though he had no appetite, Cassel forced himself to eat for her sake, his voice low as he voiced his anger.
“Hearing all you have endured makes my teeth grind.”
Pay set down her salad fork and quickly soothed him.
“But Brother, Brother Cassel bears no guilt at all. Truly none. So please don’t wear that expression, as if you carry some original sin.”
“I have been far too indifferent in all things. Even after returning to the capital, I devoted myself only to my duties as a knight and missed so much that I am disappointed in myself. I never imagined the price of merely guarding the borders would be something like this.”
“There is something more important we need to discuss.”
“Tell me anything.”
Cassel set down his fork as well and asked earnestly.
Pay swallowed hard.
“In her previous life… to hide her origins, Dot committed many atrocities. On the day she tried to kill me, she confessed that she had even killed her own family.”
“You mean the horrific scene we witnessed in the Sionel territory.”
“Yes. Yet until a few months ago, I never imagined Dot had become entangled with the Holy Temple in such a strange way. After all, who could have guessed she was an unwitting accomplice who knew nothing? Usually, one assumes accomplices conspired from the start.”
“Then…”
Pay’s light-green eyes flashed with deduction.
“It was probably similar to now. Except back then, she eliminated the people who knew the past one by one—the Caris viscount’s family, the abbess, Priest Cheryl—and saved me for last.”
Cassel furrowed his brow.
“Even while knowing the ducal house’s movements, the Holy Temple remained silent until they announced they were searching for a saintess externally. They must have had their own agenda.”
“Yes. There was a gap between when Dot was recognized as the saintess and when it was officially announced in the capital, so the Holy Temple stayed quiet for nearly two months. Now that the course of events and the timeline have changed, everything has diverged from the past.”
“Even if the appearances differ, what must happen will happen in the end.”
Cassel’s sigh mirrored Pay’s own subdued heart.
“Yes. If time had not been turned back, Saintess Capia would have appeared at the imperial palace, just as she has now.”
He struggled to suppress the rage surging within him.
“…I cannot believe it. The Holy Temple, of all places, would drive a person into the abyss for their own selfish desires? To toy with my sister, the empire’s one and only daughter of a duke, and push her toward death…!”
Hesitating, she held out the ruby pendant she had brought.
“I mentioned it earlier. In the past, it was switched, but now it is this item that Dot failed to take.”
“The one the saintess supposedly gave you?”
“Yes. The Magic Tower researchers have proven something new. My hair… it was probably never this color. I do not know whom I inherited it from—Mother or Father, or perhaps an earlier generation—but Saintess Capia likely knows what color my hair was after I was born.”
Cassel gripped the broken ruby pendant tightly and swore silently, careful not to startle the pitiful sister before him.
‘Capia! You are neither saintess nor human. You are nothing but a mad demon! I will tear you apart and kill you. I will make you suffer every torment you inflicted and writhe in eternal agony. Without fail… without fail!’
Pay drained her glass of water and smiled weakly.
“Whew, this morning I was still wondering what to do, but the story has more or less wrapped up. Really… it was far too long. I do not think I could tell it twice, ugh.”
Even so, her throat seemed parched as she touched her collarbone and panted.
For a brief moment, Cassel understood why she did not wish to reveal every detail of her past to his family.
He had never done anything truly wrong to Pay, neither now nor in the past. Of course, he could not forgive himself, but objectively speaking, that was the case.
But Father… and Mother. And Maurice’s dangerous ‘Eina-shaking’ behavior that no one could have predicted.
To return to the family where she was born, only to have Morgana—who had suffered for two full years—expelled back to the burned monastery on a single word from the fake daughter.
If one added it all up, was it not excessive even for an entire family to inflict upon a single girl?
To summon her for their own needs, use her thoroughly, and then repay her with death!
‘Even if Pay were to weep and say she was truly wronged and suffered, would they remember events they cannot recall? Would they repent? Even I cannot be certain.’
Asking her to repeat today’s long and painful confession two or three times would be too great a torment. Especially when there was no expectation that they would reflect or repent, how could he force her to relive it?
Pay had already returned to her curious and lively mage’s demeanor as she spoke.
“More importantly, are you still keeping the Portyan I gave you before?”
“Of course. I am drying it in a place without sunlight.”
“Hehe, if it had been lost, I brought some more to give you again. We will need it soon.”
“For what?”
After having the lunch table cleared, Pay explained simply while sipping tea.
Cassel wore an incredulous expression.
“You mean the physician prescribed the wrong thing?”
“More precisely, he brought the wrong ingredients, but since he personally selected the herbs, one could say that. Well… even if we leave it alone without interfering, the matter will resolve itself, but because of this, Marquis Whiante missed the proper treatment window and will suffer some aftereffects.”
“It does not sound life-threatening.”
“No. No matter why he quarrels with the Orleans ducal house, it is a pity for him to suffer unjustly, is it not?”
“Hmm.”
“Brother, please handle it as you see fit. And Dot probably remembers this incident as well. It was a topic that circulated widely in high society for several months afterward, so there is no way she would not know.”
“As far as I know, she has never mentioned it.”
“Judging by her silence so far, once the matter breaks, she will try to seize the herb issue herself and gain a foothold with the Whiante marquisate.”
Cassel’s perpetually cool gaze softened slightly.
“You said that if we do not take other medicines and just drink the dried Portyan in water, it would be fine?”
“Yes. Because it was harvested in season, its medicinal effect is especially potent. Given the marquis’s age, it would be good for him to take it this year and once more in about two years.”
“Understood. He will owe you a great debt.”
“What debt?”
Knowing Cassel intended to save Marquis Whiante, Pay smiled faintly.
Because she could make Dot—who sought to strengthen ties with the Whiante marquisate without lifting a finger—suffer a setback?
No… that was not it.
It was simply good that Cassel, with whom she had finally connected, remained an upright person.
Pay let out a languid sigh.
“I am a little tired.”
The past, when she had hidden her emotions and endured fatigue out of courtesy in his presence, now felt impossibly distant.
“Take a nap. This hotel is one I frequent when in the capital, and the manager’s lips are quite sealed. Since you seem comfortable on this floor, you may come here anytime.”
“Really? That would be nice, but…”
“Even when I am here, do not hesitate to come in and rest.”
For the first time, a boyish mischief appeared in Cassel’s red eyes.
“You were playing the piano so enthusiastically that…”
“You are too much! You told me to keep quiet back then!”
Aaaah! Forget that performance!
It was Pay’s embarrassment and silent scream that she could not voice aloud.
“Of course I will not tell anyone. That memory is truly precious to me. Whether it was when I took you to the Magic Tower or even recently when we went to the Sionel territory…”
“Me too…”
“Since returning to the capital, there has not been a single day without dark clouds over my head, but it was different only when I was with you. You are like a white cloud that makes people smile.”