A Three-Inch Tongue Proves a Man Worth a Thousand Gold
Guan Yu was gone.
What he received was not quite a promotion—from Commander of the Tiger-Brave Imperial Guards to Lieutenant General—and with it he cut through the encirclement of Cao Cao's vast host and left Xudu in silence. A good number of the Tiger-Brave Guards went with him.
Those who stayed might die. Those who left might be run down and die all the same. They were resolute nonetheless: loyal men, determined to cling to Guan Yu's side and follow him to the very end.
"Your Majesty. First, I will save Her Majesty the Empress."
"!"
"Her Majesty will surely know something of the plot you and Her Ladyship the Noble Consort laid against the Minister of Works, and Imperial In-Law Fu will likewise have letters that passed between you."
"Th-that is—!"
"Bring them all out. Hold nothing back."
Empress Fu trembled with fear.
The Emperor took her hand in quiet, and she seemed to reach a decision. She searched within her robes and drew out a tube no larger than a finger. When it was unsealed, a secret letter lay inside, written on a scrap of silk rolled tight upon itself.
"Is this all?"
At that, Empress Fu abruptly undid her hair ornaments. Long, lustrous hair spilled down like silk, and a small tube dropped from it with a soft tap. When she loosened her sash a sliver of skin showed, but she drew out the scrap of a secret letter fastened within, and not one person in the room looked upon that glimpse with desire.
"This... is everything."
"And Imperial In-Law Fu?"
"The moment my father receives a letter, he commits every word to memory and burns it. Any letter at all."
"Deputy Imperial Censor, what do you mean to do with these? Surely not as leverage in a negotiation..."
"You look cold. They will do for kindling."
"!"
There was nothing left in Fu Wan's house, so I gathered the secret letters and cast them straight into the brazier.
"With this, Her Majesty the Empress becomes a victim who truly knew nothing at all."
"!?"
"When this turmoil is over, do not have them burn the letter at the family estate. Send one asking them to keep it instead. Write only what is sincere, and only what concerns survival: 'What happened in the imperial house was too terrifying. Speak carelessly before Minister Cao, and how is our clan to go on living?'"
"How could we write such a thing..."
"I have heard that the way of the imperial house is to see and pretend one has not seen, to hear and pretend one has not heard. If you wish to live, you must do exactly that before Cao Cao."
In the original history, how relentless had Cao Cao been? For fourteen years after the Girdle Edict, he had still hunted down the letters the Fu clan had hidden and exchanged, used them to press his charges, and killed Empress Fu.
This time, I would shake out every root of future ruin and burn it. I would have them send Imperial In-Law Fu a letter begging him, under the mask of ignorance, to mediate between himself and the Minister of Works—so that Cao Cao might see it, even later. Empress Fu could live another ten years at least. That meant more chances, and that was why I was warning them now.
There was also the debt I owed Imperial In-Law Fu for saving my life a little while ago. Filthy and shameful as it might feel, they were to disguise themselves as well-disposed toward Cao Cao for the time being.
"Next. Her Ladyship the Noble Consort."
"Hic—hic—!"
"Can you endure all of it? For the sake of the imperial child."
Noble Consort Dong listened through her sobs and nodded. Even now, outside, her father would be tortured until his body was a ruin, then beheaded and his head hung for display. She would have to bear every bit of it.
"I will! But what becomes of me? Am I to be reduced to a commoner?"
"Yes. Your Majesty, write with your own hand the edict stripping the Noble Consort of her rank."
"!?"
"And I will send her somewhere she can be kept safe. Not only the warlord of that land, but Cao Cao himself, will not dare think of pursuing her there to kill her."
"Deputy Imperial Censor, if we do that..."
"It will be Your Majesty who reduces her to a commoner, and Your Majesty who restores her. Many years will pass between the two, of course. But if you truly cherish Her Ladyship, the day of reunion will surely come."
The Emperor nodded, his face set. Then, before my eyes, he drew Noble Consort Dong into his arms, stroked the child wavering in terror within her womb, and wept.
"Last of all, write the Son of Heaven's edict here and now. From this moment I will take it and negotiate with Cao Cao."
"You... may die."
I rose before the Emperor and lifted a fist-and-palm salute.
"You have trusted me. Now I will truly settle this crisis and return."
I was all resolve. To say I felt no fear would have been a lie, but I had prepared more than one road by which I might live.
"I will return before long, Your Majesty."
"Deputy Imperial Censor—no. Zhang Qian!"
"?"
"Even a wretched, benighted ruler such as I would wish you fortune in battle..."
A fist-and-palm salute, offered with blood-soaked hands pressed together. His awakening had come late. But I knew now that he truly wished to lose no more of his family, and so I would help him gladly.
"Minister! Someone is coming out!"
"Isn't that Deputy Imperial Censor Zhang Baijin?"
"Heh heh... heheheheh. So the fellow has come out at last?"
Thousands of soldiers of the Ministry of Works leveled their cold spearheads and blades at me. A chill ran down my spine, but before the smiling Cao Cao I drew a handkerchief from my breast and waved it.
"Minister, let us negotiate boldly!"
"Negotiate? You look upon this and still say such a thing to me?"
"Did you not give me a token? A token that you would spare my life!"
"!"
I still had the handkerchief Cao Cao had given me before.
"Minister, how badly did you wish to keep me alive, that you would give me a pledge in your own hand like this?"
In an instant Xun You, Xun Yu, and Guo Jia—and Cao Hong and Dian Wei as well—started in surprise and turned as one to stare at Cao Cao. Cao Cao himself looked briefly flustered, but he soon scratched at his cheek and spoke.
"What do you mean by that? Have you turned tale-spinner, inventing stories that never happened because you want to live?"
"The character huan—exchange—embroidered here means that no matter the danger, if I bring this, you will trade it for my life!"
In truth I still did not know why Cao Cao had given me a handkerchief bearing that character, but it no longer mattered. I took it to mean he would trade once for my life, and I shouted as much to everyone there. Common soldiers who knew nothing might not grasp it, but before Xun Yu, Guo Jia, and Xun You, Cao Cao could not play the fool.
"Minister, withdraw the soldiers from the inner palace, and let the two of us speak boldly! This will be a meeting of the court's Ministry of Works and the Censorate, and I am ready."
"Heh heh heh. Did you hear him? He tells me to pull the army back from here."
"If you wish to station troops in the imperial palace, confine them to the outer palace. His Majesty, Her Majesty the Empress, and Her Ladyship the Noble Consort are unharmed! Then let us drink a cup at my family's banquet house and talk. If the food is not to your taste, you may kill me then."
"Ha—hahahahaha!"
Cao Cao laughed like a madman and raised a hand.
"And why would I?"
"Then kill me here."
I dropped to the ground where I stood and beckoned the soldiers with both hands. Come on, then.
The soldiers of the Ministry of Works—demons who had bathed in blood and slaughtered the great ministers of the court without mercy—truly wavered. They did not know what to do, and only watched Cao Cao's eyes.
"All of you, fall back to the outer palace. From this hour, until I give the order, no one may enter the inner palace save the Tiger-Brave Guards, the eunuchs, and the palace women. Wait outside."
"Yes, Minister!"
For the moment, it had taken.
Cao Cao rose, came toward me, and offered his hand.
"I can stand on my own."
"I have a sensitive palate. If it tastes foul, I'll take the cook's head."
"The cooking of my house will be different."
"Will it? A servant of my household ate the Imperial Physician's poison earlier and died. I ought to drink a mourning cup."
So the poison Ji Ping had prepared was swallowed by the servant disguised as Cao Cao. And Cao Cao had been beside Dong Cheng from the very start, waiting for his moment to cut him down in a single stroke.
In any case, Cao Cao truly withdrew his army as far as the outer palace, set a bristling force at my side, and made for the place where my restaurant stood. In a Xudu scorched hollow by terror, the doors of the banquet house opened, and Cao Cao and I took seats as equals.
The cooks, staking their lives on every dish, brought the food in one plate after another, and I was the first to bite into the meat.
"Please, eat. It truly is delicious."
Cao Cao only watched me, endlessly intrigued. Interest and mockery both clung to that look, as if to say, Let's see just how far this bastard means to strut.
Since ancient times, a fight is momentum. A negotiation is momentum too.
"I have brought His Majesty the Emperor's final imperial command."
"Final, you said?"
"How should I know whether it will be the last for me, or the last for him?"
"You speak words that deserve death."
"Shall I deliver it? You may listen at your ease while you eat."
Courtesy no longer meant anything here. Was there anyone present who would rebuke Cao Cao for receiving an imperial command without kneeling, in blasphemous ease?
"What did His Majesty say? Spare the traitor Dong Cheng's palace lady, the one with child—don't kill her?"
"He said he would strip her of rank and send her into exile."
"Where? If it is hell, I'll be glad to show her the road."
"To Jizhou, north of the Yellow River."
"!?"
The first jab, driven straight into Cao Cao's gut.
At the look that demanded what madness this was, I unfolded the edict and showed it as it stood.
Dong, reduced to commoner status, is by origin the daughter of a man of the Kingdom of Hejian in Jizhou, and there she shall be exiled. By rights she ought to be bound in the guilt of collective punishment; yet to punish a pregnant woman only after she has given birth is custom, even before it is the law of Han. See the commoner safely escorted, and look to Grand General Yuan Shao to render a fitting punishment. Thereafter, We shall pay the matter no further mind.
"...so he said."
Cao Cao seized his wine cup at once and drained it in great gulps. Then he tore ravenously into the honey-glazed chicken ribs, fragrant and rich, which he was known to love, and glared at me with the eyes of a beast.
Chancellor Cao. This is a choice between two roads.
Edict or no edict, curse it all you like—if you simply must kill her, then kill her. Yuan Shao and Liu Bei alike may brand you a traitor, and it may come to a two-against-one pincer. But suppose Noble Consort Dong really does go to Yuan Shao and bear a child there, and suppose that child is a son? Will Yuan Shao leave alive even a cast-off prince born of a woman reduced to a commoner? You will be the one holding the Son of Heaven, so you can fasten any pretext you please upon Yuan Shao and make politics of the question: what became of that commoner?
And with that, Yuan Shao will not be able to issue his Proclamation Denouncing Cao Cao either. From that moment, even he will have no words for the greatest justification of the Battle of Guandu—that he has looked upon the blood of the imperial house.
"Ha—hahahaha!"
"What will you do?"
"I have heard it. Whether I have only heard it, or heard it and mean to obey, I hold in reserve."
"I will recite the second imperial command."
We hereby grant leave to execute the traitors Dong Cheng, Wang Zifu, Wu Zilan, Chong Ji, Ji Ping, and the rest. Yet among their children, the young boys and girls who have not yet learned their letters ought, by right, to be spared, even should it mean changing their surnames and selling them as slaves. Long ago Bai Qi, great general of Qin, who buried alive the four hundred thousand soldiers of Zhao at Changping, at least showed the mercy of sparing the boy soldiers who had not yet come of age. The Minister of Works is a man of talent surpassing Bai Qi, and We trust his mercy will surpass Bai Qi's as well.
"Among those whose nine clans ought to be exterminated, you would have me leave some alive?"
"I only deliver it. This is His Majesty's imperial command."
"Did the Son of Heaven truly write this?"
Cao Cao's face said, plain as day, You wrote this, didn't you, you bastard? His hand stole toward his sword.
Lastly, We are foolish and unworthy, and henceforth the whole court shall follow as the Minister of Works desires. We wish only to protect the Empress and the imperial heir. All of your reforms We shall endorse. Let this misunderstanding be laid to rest, and let the concord between court and imperial house be forged anew.
A declaration of alliance between the Emperor and his powerful minister.
Cao Cao read it all and laughed, a hollow heh heh heh.
"Three, is it? Then you have three as well."
"Three of what?"
"Nothing else matters. Three reasons you ought to leave this place alive."
Cao Cao spread three fingers, took up his sword, and came slowly toward me. He sat before me, eyes rolling white as they searched every corner, ready at any moment to draw and take my head.
"What should I, Cao Cao, Minister of Works, do with Baijin?"
"..."
"If he became my man, I would grant him office equal to the Three Excellencies. He is a man who could cut in half the years I have set for the great enterprise of all under heaven. And yet, in my heart, I feel it. This is a root of disaster that will stand in my way."
"...You said three? I could give you ten, here and now."
"Speak, then. Long-tongued merchant."
Now I would speak in earnest, to save my own life.
"Your eldest son, the young master of the Cao clan, who departed as Grand Administrator of Shanyang in Yanzhou—he received the gift of the Lüshi Chunqiu gladly, and before long your son will send his father a letter of thanks. He has taken me for a friend, so he will speak of it to the father he reveres. He will ask you to look after me."
"!"
"Even if I leave now and return to Imperial Uncle Liu, there is no knowing when I might come back here. Gather the entire army of the Left General, gone now to chastise Yuan Shu, and would it amount to six-tenths of yours? It would be a near thing."
"You could say a hundred things of that sort."
"Then what will you do about the Imperial Seal?"
"!!!"
Cao Cao's eyes flew wide once more.
"That Sun Jian, Grand Administrator of Changsha, took the Imperial Seal of Han from beside a well in the ruined palace of Luoyang during the coalition against Dong Zhuo—even the children in the marketplace know it. When Sun Jian died, Yuan Shu seized that seal and usurped the imperial title as he pleased. That the seal rests with Yuan Shu is a fact known to every scholar of any name."
"And so? You mean to trade the Imperial Seal for your life?"
"If I leave here alive, Zhou Wenbo and Zhao Wenlie, whom I sent out, will rejoice that they have brought back the seal of the realm. If they learn that I am dead... no one can know what Imperial Uncle Liu—a Liu of Han, acknowledged as a descendant of Emperor Gaozu, founder of the dynasty, and as a legitimate son of the imperial house—might think to do with that seal in his hands."
For the first time, the steel of Cao Cao's expression loosened, and both his eyes began to waver.
The Imperial Seal. A righteous cause. The imperial house of Han. The surname Liu. A reform that would hand him the whole authority of the court. A gift to his own son. Yuan Shao. A monopoly on the Central Plains...
There is far too much tangled around a single neck for you to cut it in a fit of anger, Minister Cao!
"Ha... hahahaha... haha..."
Cao Cao rose from his seat.
"It has grown a little warm. I ought to change my robes."
"Go at your ease."
As Cao Cao slowly left the room, I cooled the spine already sticky with cold sweat and drank wine as if I had gone mad.
CRASH!
In the room where his strategists waited, Cao Cao clutched the sword he had reached for again and again and never drawn, and he shook.
"Minister, his tongue is a dazzling thing, true—but still you ought to endure, and think once more upon what follows!"
"The Imperial Seal! Hebei! The court! Liu Bei! The Son of Heaven! Reform! All of it is tangled together! In my chest there is an instinct that he must die, and in my head there are so many thoughts that the way is blocked—do you know what that means?!"
Cao Cao had lost his composure. He was shaking. As his excitement mounted, the headache returned; he clutched his head and sank down.
"Minister!"
"Minister! Come to your senses!"
"Xu Chu... what has become of Xu Chu?"
"He was rushed to a physician in Xudu. Fortunately, they say his life is not in danger."
He had thought that sending Guan Yu alone back to Liu Bei would settle everything. There had been a more troublesome man still—one who scraped him raw down to the bone.
"All of you, listen. Zhang Baijin, who sits in this place now..."
At last Cao Cao reached his decision, and the eyes of his advisors—Xun You, Xun Yu, Guo Jia, and the rest—flew wide as well.