To Seize the Pack of Dogs and Swine, Liu Bei and Cao Cao Charge Hand in Hand
"I... I'm not drunk yet. Hic—"
"You've all worked hard today. Lord Mi, you may go in and rest now."
They had matched cups with Cao Cao's men and drunk that vicious liquor down, and none of them looked the better for it. Mi Zhu and Chen Deng were truly drunk, staggering on their feet, and though Lu Su and Zhang He kept solemn faces, they had to be worn to the bone.
"Still, it was a meaningful gathering. I see now that the Governor of Yanzhou truly has an astonishing number of men of talent beneath him."
It was Sun Qian's debut, and of all people he had run into Xun Yu. They said he spent the whole time slipping past Xun Yu's questions—the man never stopped probing for the state of Liu Bei's army—and dragging the hour out.
"This is only the first day. After this they'll keep trying to drown us in pleasure. Look after yourselves, and remember: words spoken in drink are not the truth."
I left them with that warning and went into my quarters. Lying on the bed, I had the distinct feeling that, somewhere out there, Cao Cao's camp was already going over us piece by piece.
Late that night Cao Cao had a fresh wine table laid and summoned exactly one man.
"I took in my Zhang Zifang, and Liu Bei has taken in his Lü Buwei. Hahahaha!"
The man was Xun Yu, and he too listened quietly to his lord before he answered.
"Baijin, who met with you, and the rest of them—sending as negotiators only men too awkward to handle carelessly was a rather fine stratagem."
"And the terms they brought are not something we can simply let pass."
Cao Cao savored the wine of his homeland at his leisure, turning the cup round and round in his hand.
"That Guo Jia grabbed me by the collar and said, 'Accept the proposal from those bastards in Liu Bei's army, and I'll be in for a terrible loss.' Impudent wretch."
"When Fengxiao is drunk, he cannot tell one man from another. I beg you to show him your generous forbearance."
"No. That one would have done it stone sober."
"Then what will you choose, my lord?"
"Wenruo, what do you think?"
Cao Cao had answered a question with a question. Xun Yu smiled, mild and kindly, and inclined his head.
"Settling on a ten-to-one arrangement was a sound decision. The initiative stays in your hands at every turn, and you can keep a collar on Liu Bei's army besides."
"They said three thousand outright."
"Prepare thirty thousand soldiers, and partway through, speak of how the rebel suppression is going and reinforce by degrees. It is a fight in your own front yard in any case, and Yuan Shao and Lü Bu will be utterly unable to move."
"You think so?"
"After that, Liu Bei, Governor of Xuzhou, has put forward the claim that he is a descendant of the Liu clan of the Han imperial house. Let him fight bravely on the field, just as he wishes."
Xun Yu knew it as well as anyone: if Liu Bei kept growing like this, he would one day become a threat to Cao Cao, his own lord. But he was opposed to Guo Jia's way—luring Liu Bei in without a question asked and striking him on the spot.
"My lord, the reports say that while the 'dog' and the 'swine,' Li Jue and Guo Si, fight each other for mastery of Chang'an, the Son of Heaven, who has taken refuge in Hongnong, is escaping toward Sizhou. The elder ministers of the court have also made contact with the White Wave bandits."
Dong Zhuo had burned Luoyang and made Chang'an the capital, and after his death the survivors had left the emperor out in the cold and fallen into a filthy mud-brawl over who would devour the city. But let the emperor they treated like a comfort doll slip away, and they would gather their strength and come running as if none of it had ever happened. The emperor would have to be saved from between the White Wave bandits, Li Jue's army, and Guo Si's army.
"If Liu Bei truly claims to be heir to the Liu clan of the Han imperial house, he need only go bravely to the front and face them."
"You mean leave all the hard fighting to my brother Liu Bei!"
"Of course. Should he truly fall into crisis, whether to save him—or to mourn Liu Bei, who died fighting bravely as a loyal subject of Han—that decision rests with you, my lord."
Use Liu Bei to the utmost, Xun Yu was saying, and then leave the power of life and death over him to Cao Cao's judgment.
"He rises full of spirit and, unfortunately, dies in the fighting. Or else the elite he spoke of, those three thousand, are wiped out, and only the body of the man is left to work the court beside me. Either way, that friend ends up beneath me."
"My lord, there is one thing more."
"Oh? What?"
"Liu Bei will surely form this elite of three thousand and bring every one of the brothers they call matchless warriors, and every hand and foot that follows him. Including that Zhang Baijin who so boldly settled terms with you."
"Oho! So in the end there'll be too few left to hold Xuzhou's rear?"
"Sounding out the country around Xuzhou on the quiet would not be a bad thing either. Once is enough for them to travel the roads of Yanzhou. The head of Xuzhou will be empty, while the Governor of Xuzhou himself is with you, for His Majesty the Emperor."
"Hahahaha!"
Cao Cao heard him out and made his decision. For the two days that remained he did no particular probing; he treated Liu Bei's envoys with punctilious courtesy and sent them on their way, together with a word that, when next they returned, he very much wished to see the army of three thousand, and the generals, of which Baijin had spoken....
"Brothers! From this moment, we set out to rescue His Majesty the Emperor, held captive by a pack of villains!"
Liu Bei had gathered every general of Xuzhou and a death-sworn company of three thousand, and he shouted it to the sky.
"In days past we fought the Yellow Turbans, we fought Dong Zhuo, we fought Lü Bu! And the reason for all of it? For the altars of Han!"
Guan Yu and Zhang Fei clenched their fists and nodded, and Liu Bei roared louder still.
"From this day we join the army of Yanzhou, and we will smash every traitor who blocks the road to saving His Majesty! I will stand at the fore, and I will go with you to the very end!"
Spear-shafts beat the ground—thud, thud, thud, thud—a sound to shake the axis of the earth. Liu Bei drew his twin swords and gave the order to march.
"Brothers—we go!"
In the year the era name would change from Chuping to Jian'an, Liu Bei at last set out at the head of three thousand elite. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei followed; Zhang He and Zhao Yun came as staff officers, and Lu Su, Chen Deng, and Mi Zhu as strategists.
And me... I suppose you could say I was joining as the wild card.
"Baijin, if we rescue His Majesty in this battle, I will certainly make your merit known and stand as your recommender."
"I am grateful just to hear the words. But before we can save His Majesty, a great many crises will come."
We had prepared three thousand, so Cao Cao would have prepared a host of thirty thousand. But Cao Cao, in his own front yard, fielding exactly thirty thousand? Not a chance. With the supplies Yuan Shao had been feeding him all this while, he would scrape together everything down to his soul and raise still more men, once he had set aside the lines watching Lü Bu and Yuan Shu.
"Baijin, what do you make of this battle?"
"The dangerous fighting will all fall to us."
"Elder brother Mengde keeps his main force whole, and we take the most dangerous ground?"
"It will surely be so."
Even hearing that, Liu Bei laughed aloud and pointed at me.
"Baijin, didn't you say it yourself, back then? That the dangerous trade is the one that leaves the most behind."
"The principle still holds. But lives are on the line."
"Didn't I tell you? This Liu Xuande can offer up a life like this for Han at any time!"
The will was more than enough. Whether that will could change the world depended on Liu Bei.
"But Baijin—that field kit of yours. Is there really a need to pack the supplies in two and three times over, crammed down tight? Supply shouldn't be a problem."
"Youbei wuhuan—where there is preparation, there is no disaster. Ready yourself beforehand, and there is nothing left to fear."
"You trotted out that old saying on purpose, didn't you?"
The banter with Liu Bei ended there. Once we reached Yanzhou, we followed the waiting guides of Cao Cao's army toward Shanyang.
"Xuande! How long has it been?"
"Elder brother Mengde, it has been a long time. Is this the second, since we allied to take the traitor Dong Zhuo?"
"Hahaha, what's all this? Didn't we meet as well when I was under General Huangfu, hunting the Yellow Turbans?"
Two heroes met at Shanyang: Liu Bei and Cao Cao. And the thirty thousand Cao Cao had prepared were tremendous in momentum alone.
"Shall we go?"
"Without a council of war?"
"The situation has changed. Word has come that His Majesty has escaped Hongnong Commandery and is making for Hangu Pass."
"I-is that true?"
"Your information is slow. We'll talk on the way."
He knew, and he's marching out at once on purpose. That's my vote.
We had barely arrived at Shanyang, with no time even to rest, before we advanced on Guanzhong together with Cao Cao's army. Unusually, Cao Cao rode not a horse but a carriage, running abreast of Liu Bei.
"Brother Xuande, by now those two curs, Li Jue and Guo Si, who were dog-fighting in Chang'an, will be pursuing the Son of Heaven. Rumor says they're even borrowing the Xiongnu's army to come."
"I don't care who the enemy is. If they stand in the way of saving His Majesty, I'll cut them down without mercy!"
At Liu Bei's words, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei took up their gleaming weapons and burned with resolve.
"Dongjian County, in Hongnong Commandery. Reckon it out, and that's about where we ought to be able to see His Majesty."
In the historical Turmoil of the Three Adjuncts it was a famous tale. The emperor, fleeing Zhang Ji of Hongnong, was pursued by the allied army of Li Jue, Guo Si, and Zhang Ji; the Tiger Guard was annihilated, and he threw himself into the Yellow River and barely escaped on a single skiff. When the palace ladies, eunuchs, and high ministers fleeing with him tried to climb aboard that little boat, Dong Cheng and Yang Feng swung their blades, severed countless wrists, and only just got clear of a Yellow River dyed with blood.
"Xuande, will you go to Dongjian?"
"Big brother, the Governor of Yanzhou's tellin' us to bag all three o' them western-road bastards ourselves, ain't he?"
Zhang Fei bellowed it loud enough to be heard on purpose, and Liu Bei raised a hand to stop him.
"I'll go. I wanted to cut down those rebel ringleaders—worse than dogs and swine—with my own hands anyway."
"Good. Everyone blocking the roads through Henei and Hedong—I'll take them all."
That was when I called out.
"Governor of Yanzhou! A moment ago you said the Xiongnu army is moving as mercenaries. If they come down, will you take them yourself?"
For an instant Cao Cao checked, then nodded toward me.
"If they truly come down, we'll have to see how it stands! If the Xiongnu Chanyu Yufuluo dares come at me, that is!"
"Elder brother Mengde, I'll trust those words!"
"One word from Cao Cao is worth a thousand gold!"
Throw us in as the vanguard, then crash the fight once he's seen how it goes—that's how it sounds. Fine. Since it's come to this, if we find the fleeing emperor's carriage, I'll give them a wilder show still. When the emperor looks out, whose sight will catch him more: Liu Bei's army charging in before his eyes, staking their lives against the bandit swarm come to violate him, or Cao Cao's army slinking up after they've watched which way the wind blows? He'd better think on that.
From Yanzhou to Guanzhong, a road of more than a thousand li, the allied army of Liu Bei and Cao Cao ran at a maddening pace.
In Dongjian County of Hongnong Commandery, a horrific slaughter was underway!
"My lord! You must flee!"
"Th-this can't be..."
Li Jue and Guo Si, who had fallen to infighting in Chang'an, had allied again and come here. They butchered the Tiger Guard protecting the Son of Heaven, plundered the supplies, seized the emperor's robes and patents of appointment, and abducted the palace ladies and the women of the high officials. Whenever they found a lustrous head of hair, they cut it off and took it. In a scene of slaughter worse than the living hell inside the walls of Chang'an, everyone despaired, fated to be torn apart in misery.
"We have to finish this before the Grand General arrives!"
Li Li, Li Jue's nephew, trampled the emperor's army without mercy, and ordered a massacre with no thought of leaving alive man or woman, young or old—not even a single horse.
And three chivalrous knights saw that vision of hell.
"Governor of Xuzhou! We've found them!"
"The situation... is not good!"
Liu Bei drew his twin swords on the spot.
"Even a rough count, the enemy looks to be double our number."
A thin metallic ring.
"Baijin, when have we ever fought by counting heads?"
Guan Yu held the Green Dragon Crescent Blade. Zhang Fei leveled the Serpent Spear. And Liu Bei, twin swords in hand, looked on the demons before his eyes and shouted in fury.
"All of you, charge! Cut down that beastlike pack of bandits before our eyes!"
Liu Bei swung his twin swords and charged Li Jue's army. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei ran abreast of him, and I shouted at once to the soldiers who had come this far.
"Prepare to cover them!"
Clack— clack— clack—
At my order they shed their packs at once, readied their short bows, drew arrows, and took aim. Li Jue's men had spotted us. When they rushed the three brothers of Liu Bei, charging in a fury, I aimed for those bastards' heads and roared.
"Loose!!!"
In Hongnong, the bowstring of the opening battle was drawn.