Lü Bu Seizes Xiaopei
Here sat a man downing an entire jar of liquor by himself.
"Cao Cao's risen to Rear Army General, and Yuan Shao's become Grand General."
This was a man who couldn't stand watching others succeed—not with his eyes wide open. And it stung all the more because he'd once been in line for Grand General himself.
"Liu Bei, that big-eared bastard, has become Governor of Xuzhou. Took the seal straight from Cao Cao, the one he hated so damn much."
Another cup.
"But me? What about me?"
The man stared at his reflection in the razor-sharp blade. His face was still handsome, his body still solid—strong enough to drop anyone in a single blow. Yet that strength went to waste, spent only on passing time with his wives.
Ever since his defeat at Cao Cao's hands, he'd spent nearly a year playing guard dog in the courtyard. Everyone else reveled in power, while he rotted away in this cramped Xiaopei, drowning in drink.
This man's name was Lü Bu, courtesy name Fengxian.
"What the hell am I even doing here?"
"My lord."
A woman's voice rang out from beyond the door. Lü Bu scrambled to hide the cup he'd been about to drain, then froze solid.
"...What is it?"
"You've been drinking."
"Why the hell not? Can't this Lü Bu have a damn drink?!"
"Of course. Not when you need to mount up and swing the Sky Piercer any moment now."
"...What?"
Lü Bu's buzz vanished in an instant at the woman's words.
"Explain."
"First, a question. Liu Bei got his Xuzhou Governor seal from the Emperor, right?"
"Yeah! Emperor my ass—it was Cao Cao who handed it over!"
"Then that's... betrayal, isn't it?"
"......"
Lü Bu drifted slowly toward the wall where the Sky Piercer hung.
"If he truly valued our alliance, he'd have turned down the governorship. But he took it. Who knows—maybe he's cozying up to Cao Cao already."
"So what do we do?"
"Attack Xuzhou Castle. Now."
"...Oh."
Lü Bu swallowed hard without thinking.
"Xuzhou Castle?"
"Yes. Liu Bei's off marching his army against Yuan Shu. The castle might as well be empty."
"He'd leave at least one general behind."
"How many under Liu Bei would die for him?"
"Two louts. The fat chub, and the bandit."
Clink. Lü Bu seized the Sky Piercer.
"Liu Bei took the bare minimum, at least. No way he dragged both along."
"Left the bandit."
"Hmph..."
Lü Bu shook his head.
"That one's no good unless he's stone sober."
"What if the terms were equal?"
"Equal?"
"Yes. If he's drunk too."
"...Then I win."
Lü Bu strode out with the Sky Piercer in hand. Outside, nimble soldiers Chen Gong had mustered were already mounted, chafing to charge from Xiaopei.
"Teacher Chen, details."
"Won over a Xiapi man named Zhang Pi. He resents Liu Bei deeply—especially since Liu Bei's brother Zhang Fei got Xuzhou's defenses. Word is, Zhang Fei got hammered and beat Zhang Pi bloody."
"Kahaha! Knew that horse-thief runt would screw up."
Lü Bu swung onto Red Hare with a feral grin.
"Boot the bandit out and show the big-ears who really owns Xuzhou."
Lü Bu marches from Xiaopei on Xuzhou.
After Heohyeon became the new capital Heodo, I lingered at Sukyung Hall, still trading letters with Sun Uk—now perched in quite the lofty post.
We wrote to keep our personal bond alive, sure. But mostly so I could mine her intel for high-grade info and act on it before the crowd.
Letters had grown... restrained, though.
As a Han court official, she couldn't casually swap state secrets via post with an outsider. Risked ugly rumors.
'Got it. No leaking official work.'
So the info flowed thinner now. But it sufficed.
"Rumor says Cao Cao got Rear Army General—not Grand—thanks to his spat with Yuan Shao."
Bits from Sun Uk, Cai family whispers, street talk—I wove them into solid lectures.
"...Boil it down: Cao Cao flinched at Yuan Shao's fist."
Brew it with Sima Yi, and boom—flawless class.
"Cao Cao failed to buy Yuan Shao with scraps of power. Had to cough up the big prize. Now Yuan Shao's king of Hebei."
King. Emperor or no, it meant power second only to heaven. Faces stiffened across the room.
"Teacher, 'king'..."
"Metaphor. Overdid it? He's got Grand General and corner fiefs already. Make that 'could spark rebel talk.' Hm."
Words out, no take-backs. Dropped it deliberate-like—no regrets.
Yuan Shao ruled Hebei. None dared bark at him now.
"Dreaming of Yuan Shao's service someday? Note this: three sons."
Prime intel. Eyes lit—especially the elders job-hunting.
"Three sons. Dotes hardest on the third. Skipped the Yellow River descent nursing the boy's illness—never reached Chenliu."
"No way Yuan Shao baby-sits like that?"
"That's the love. Serve him? Backing the youngest ain't dumb. For Yuan Shao."
He might hand it all to the baby. And muscle through any squabbles.
"Other cases?"
"Other?"
"Yes. Legitimate son versus concubine's? Or brothers with a huge age gap."
"Hm..."
Question from a Jiangling Ho clan kid—looks down his nose at me. Loaded query.
"Confucius says eldest son does the rites. Yuan Shao—concubine-born—did full three-year mourning as grown man."
No need to spell it: his dad's a Liu Qi backer, Liu Biao's legit heir.
"Eldest inherits. Always safest."
Eldest? Nah. Probing Liu Biao. If he drops, Qi takes over, right? Our clan's bet.
'Trick question? Dream on.'
Sima Yi and I had hashed this already.
"Eldest usually smoothest. But not always brightest. Late Shao Emperor, prior one, current Emperor—brothers, no? Couldn't seize throne, but whispers say the Emperor's sharper."
Emperor shield, à la Cao Cao's puppet play. Dodged the trap.
"Alright, questions done—"
"Teacher. One here."
The white-haired girl—Zhuge Liang—raised her hand.
Sima Yi and I mulled her queries deep each time. Zilch. A year older, she outgrew us fast.
"Yes?"
"How do we read Lü Bu's moves?"
"......"
Lü Bu. Jingzhou's scholars sighed and raged over him.
Tough one. But I knew flexible answers best.
"Liang. My field: human survival. How to thrive in chaos."
I shook my head firm.
"Beast cubs? No clue."
She nodded deep. Good.
"How's an ingrate even human?"
Rebuke? Nah—pure lament.
"Life's brag: slaying Dong Zhuo. Boiled those words to broth? Tasteless dishwater now."
Lü Bu, Dong Zhuo's killer, restored Han rites.
"Beast. No reading needed."
"Haha, you bandit scum! Tell your brothers—as promised, this Lü Fengxian guards Xuzhou!"
Lü Bu claims Xuzhou while Liu Bei hunts Yuan Shu.