The Age of Absurdity (5): Jingzhou's Marriageable Age
In Jingzhou, reaching marriageable age was much the same as saying one's prime had arrived. Boys turned to scholarship at fifteen, while girls were wed at sixteen.
"Has so much time already passed?"
It felt like only yesterday that Sima Yi had taken Sima Hui's hand and come here, yet already she had matured to rival any adult. A touch of baby fat still lingered on her cheeks, but once that faded, calling her a full-grown woman wouldn't be an exaggeration.
"So, any thoughts on marriage?"
"Yes."
Unexpected. I'd pegged Sima Yi as the type to live and die alone like Zhang Liang, but surprisingly, she had marriage on her mind.
"With whom?"
"You know."
"...Yi'ya."
I faced Sima Yi squarely, our gazes locking in earnest.
"Are you serious?"
"I've never been anything but serious with you, Master."
"You've made things difficult for me since you were a child."
It wasn't anger so much as the realization that the inevitable had arrived.
"Why?"
"I can't help where my heart leads. It's like a thrown object falling downward—my feelings simply follow suit. Yes, it's only natural."
"Natural, you say."
Word was that girls gradually awakened to romance past marriageable age. But I'd never raised a child myself; all I knew came from hearsay and experience.
"This has me a bit flustered."
"You already knew, didn't you?"
"I didn't expect you'd bring it up so soon, so directly."
Truly unforeseen timing.
"Yi'ya, what did I say my dream was?"
"To make one of your disciples a high official, then live idly off their wealth. Eventually, break away from Suyeon Academy to open your own Sun Academy, collecting silk and grain from your students while barely lifting a finger day after day—that's what you called your dream, Master."
"Couldn't you make it sound a touch nobler, like 'contentment in poverty and ease'?"
"Isn't the reality just freeloading?"
Hearing it laid bare, it sounded utterly trashy. Shameless, despicable even. The kind of life that made you question if humans should sink so low.
But that was precisely my dream. The endpoint of my existence, the goal of my life.
"Right. Yi'ya, then let me ask you one thing."
This question mattered to her as much as it did to me.
"Do you think I'd abandon my dream for a woman's sake?"
"No."
Sima Yi's answer was firm. We knew each other too well by now; she understood my depths better than anyone.
"If a woman would complicate things, you simply wouldn't pursue her, Master."
"You know me well."
"That's why I've thought differently."
Sima Yi smiled slyly at me.
"What if a high-ranking official proposes to you?"
"How high?"
"Hmm, Grand Commandant level?"
"Too high. You've seen it yourself—even Grand Commandants lose their heads willy-nilly in these chaotic times. In peaceful eras, maybe, but climbing to such heights now is tantamount to gambling your life."
"I thought things might've changed after Xuzhou."
"People don't change that easily."
After the Xuzhou massacre, I'd started looking at people a bit more. But that hadn't turned my life dynamic. From caring only for myself, I'd merely shifted to looking after those around me when I had the spare capacity.
"If I made you choose between your inner ambition and desire, could you pick easily?"
"No, it would be hard."
"Exactly. You must choose. Life doesn't let you have it all."
"Yes. For ordinary folk."
Sima Yi unfurled her fan. Between its ebony ribs gleamed purple feathers, vivid as a captured sky.
"But I'll have everything. A little greed like that is allowed, isn't it? I'm Sima Yi, after all."
"It won't be easy."
"I've never planned to take the easy path. From the start, a mountain loomed before me. But now..."
Sima Yi stepped closer, resting a hand on my shoulder.
"...I've grown enough that just a short climb reaches the peak, haven't I?"
"You little rascal."
I flicked her forehead with my finger.
"Save the pranks for after you're truly grown."
"I'm an adult already. Next year, I'll be of marriageable age. Old enough to wed?"
"Fifteen's still fifteen. At least wait till you're twenty."
Adulthood was twenty. An ironclad rule, unyielding even if Confucius and Mencius themselves preached otherwise.
"But I promise you this: in five years, if your heart hasn't changed... then..."
The rest felt too embarrassing to voice.
"I'll just laze around the house."
"That's fine."
"Eating, sleeping, occasionally playing with the kids."
"More than enough."
"No opening an academy. Even if high officials visit, I won't show my face."
"Exactly what I want. Private gatherings are a hassle; I'd rather you stay home."
"If women acquaintances or disciples drop by, I won't turn them away easily."
"...That's not allowed."
Sima Yi glared, gripping my hand tightly.
"While I'm serving in court, I won't stand for anything strange happening at home. I'll plant eyes everywhere."
"Am I to be imprisoned?"
"Sounds good. Should I just kill off Geum Taeyang and have you reborn as someone new?"
"You're one scary girl! Erasing a man's life's work like that."
"If that's what it takes to have you."
Sima Yi looked up at me with a beaming smile. Though gazing from below, it felt like a serpent coiling slowly up my body from the shadows.
"Master, just stay put. Boast about having a General of the Gentlemen Remnant—or rather, Prime Minister—for a wife, and live large."
"No different from a wastrel."
"That's the life you crave, isn't it? Don't worry—no rebellion, no clan wiped out."
Sima Yi buried her face in my chest, hugging tight.
"I'll protect you so no one dares touch you."
Crunch. She nipped my collar.
"I'm a greedy woman, after all."
* * *
"Marriage, huh. Well, you're certainly old enough to consider it."
My adoptive mother, Cai Xuan, offered no real solution to my dilemma.
"Mother, I'm serious."
"Does seriousness conjure answers? My marriage, my sister's—neither was ordinary."
"...True enough."
Cai Xuan's "marriage" had essentially merged our clans. The Huangs already lived like a branch of the Cai family, and patriarch Huang Shengyan was off today, as always, living his eccentric life elsewhere.
"Father's out again?"
"Yes. Left some gold recently before vanishing. How does a man like that even exist? Spent ten straight days hounding one person for talks and camaraderie."
"That's how you make friends?"
"Right? And after being told flat-out, 'Talking to you brings me nothing'—he still went back for more. No ordinary weirdo."
"His counterpart seems formidable too."
"Exactly. Sigh. At least he leaves gold for the house... Though since you became his adopted son, he wanders even more."
"No way."
"It's true. Maybe he thinks I'll handle the household, and you can play nominal patriarch?"
"......"
In these bandit-plagued, chaotic times—what life did Huang Shengyan lead? Without the brigands, hiding out in southern Jingzhou, Yi Province, or Wu's east, doing as he pleased, wouldn't be so bad.
Problem was, it wasn't the act of a married family man.
"The weight of a patriarch's duty is immense. What even is marriage?"
"You want to say 'don't,' but if they insist, you won't stand in the way? I don't know, but my sister said as much."
"Lady Cai told you that?"
"No, Mo'ga. Set up a meeting sometime?"
"...Haha, I'll pass."
Mo'ga. Acquainted, but not close.
"Still, you seem ready to step up as family head."
"Pardon?"
"You're thinking seriously about marriage."
"......"
No trifling matter. Marriage was one of the great rites of human relations—no snap decisions.
"Mother, if I said, 'I want to marry just anyone!'—would you allow it?"
"Yes."
"Pardon?"
"You're the type who won't listen if I object. That's you."
Cai Xuan shook her head at me.
"The sort who goes blind with love, tosses everything aside, and devotes himself to a woman?"
"Me? No way."
"Who knows. Have you ever truly loved anyone passionately?"
"......"
No. Too busy surviving for such thoughts.
"My son knows everything—except love."
"And you, Mother? Do you know it?"
"Of course. How much I love my son."
"That's... different. Sigh, never mind."
Arguing further would just give me a headache.
"Son, I welcome whoever you marry. Ideally from a prestigious family—especially with high office. Heh, instead of leaning on Liu Biao's hill, maybe you'll build your own for us to lean on."
"More like my future wife will."
"Yes. The higher she rises, the better. How about someone enfeoffed as a king by the Emperor?"
"That's a bit..."
Worried someone might overhear. "Understood. It's late; I'll stay the night..."
"Oh, right—your sister's pregnant."
"......Pardon?"
Pregnant. Sister. Lady Cai.
"When?"
"...Three months ago?"
"......"
"Heh, your face fell. Why's that?"
"......Nothing."
Cai Xuan patted my shoulder with her fan.
"Don't worry. I'm still here. Or is that the worry?"
"Not for that reason."
"Really? I figured it was."
Cai Xuan covered her mouth, chuckling.
"Once your sister has the baby, let's three of us share a drink again. Heh heh heh."