Killing the Beast (7)
"Since when have you been Lord Cao Cao's adopted daughter?"
"Since birth."
Shock, pure and simple!
"You're not... actually her biological daughter or anything, right?"
"No, nothing like that. If we go by my original status, you could say I'm Lord Cao Cao's niece. She had a younger sibling who passed away, and I was made her adopted daughter right from birth. Of course... it was never announced publicly."
Tears welled up in Cao Aman's eyes.
"My lady wanted to rise to the highest offices despite being a woman. For someone like that, who never married, having a daughter would be seen as a massive scandal. So I lived as both her adopted daughter and her niece."
"Oh..."
I felt pity for Cao Aman's life.
"The one person you needed most wasn't there when you needed her most."
"......"
For a moment, Cao Aman's eyes widened in surprise.
"I can't claim to fully understand or empathize with your pain, Aman, but I've been through a similar kind of sorrow. Since you've shared your personal story, I guess I should sell mine a bit too. Haha."
Laughing while spilling a tragic backstory. I had to sell my sob story to survive.
If I don't, she'll kill me for all the trash-talking I did about Cao Cao!
How much had I badmouthed Cao Cao to Cao Aman? Sure, I'd skirted around it, deflected, and couched it carefully, but she'd picked up on the resentment underneath.
At least I thought she was a distant relative like Cao Ang—turns out she's Cao Cao's foster daughter.
Sudden memories flooded back. Words I'd said while drinking with Cao Aman and Cao Ang:
—Whoa, so that rumor was true? That the realm can't betray Duke Cao. Whoa, truly grand.
—Some idiots even call her the female Dong Zhuo. Crazy bastards. As if she'd ever piggyback the Emperor and swing power around wildly? Loyalty to Han! That's why she propped up the puppet Emperor! Haha!
—Haha, what filial piety! Holding three years' mourning in Xuzhou for the dead. Haha!
I need to fix this.
The best way to smooth it over? Sell the sob story.
"I was frail as a child. My birth parents abandoned me. If not for a kind old man who picked me up and raised me, I'd have been just another starving kid by the roadside."
"Your parents abandoned you?"
"Yes. I'm healthy now, thankfully, but back then, they treated me like a freak."
My hair was golden. Not just any gold, but like the yellow dragon itself.
My parents feared I'd be dragged off to the capital. With hair symbolizing the imperial house, they must've bought into superstitions about me being a hero born to topple this chaotic dynasty and found a new one.
Of course, telling the real story would just make them suspicious...
Time to commit a little filial impiety.
"My father suspected my mother. He said no child of his blood could turn out like this. My mother came from a respectable family, but once the baby was born like that, getting divorced was inevitable, in a way."
"Heavens, what could the child have been like...?"
"...Hmm."
It was golden. But I needed to embellish it appropriately.
"It's not something I should say to a lady..."
"It's fine, tell me."
"Do you know the tale of Lady No?"
"Ah."
Cao Aman's face, serious and teary moments ago, suddenly flushed bright red.
"That's the sort of thing."
"Th-that, I see."
Cao Aman fanned herself as if the alcohol had gone to her head. Embarrassed for no reason, I sipped my tea...
Damn. Bellflower wine tea.
Tea infused with liquor aroma—someone must be filling their canteen with this stuff and nursing it slowly. If you ignored how it made you feel good, loosened you up, quickened your breath, and heated your body excessively, it was tea you could drink every day without tiring of it.
"Aman. Listen."
Maybe that's why. It felt like I could say a little more.
"...Every child needs someone at some point. Someone to explain how the world turns, why things are the way they are. Or even before that."
Another sip.
"Until a child can stand on their own, someone has to be their shade. Especially in these chaotic times—they need help to find their footing and become proper adults."
Like the old man who raised me, abandoned at three, until I left to teach at the academy. With nothing to my name, no connections, he left me an inheritance just to help me get the bare minimum to survive.
"I'm not someone who can reach far and wide. But if I have the means, I want to do my utmost to help the weak like me. That's... kids, to me."
I didn't want to live like my first father. I wanted to live like my second, third fathers.
"Haha, look at me, turning this into a pity party. Embarrassing."
"No, Lord Golden."
Cao Aman shook her head seriously. "I felt your sincerity. It resonated with me too. The person you needed most wasn't there when you needed them... It really hits home."
I don't know what it was, but seeing her dab tears with her sleeve, it seemed I'd said the right thing.
So forget it. Forget how I'd trashed Cao Cao. Change the subject—make sure it never circles back to her.
Damn alcohol, always the enemy.
Why couldn't I quit drinking when I knew it always turned me into a beast? Would I only learn after some huge screw-up?
Still...
Drinking alone with the daughter of the Commander-in-Chief? Can't pass that up.
Even boozing with someone from a power family in court was good—but alone with Cao Cao's foster daughter? Definite good omen.
Cao Aman didn't come just to chat. She had something to say. If not...
Nah.
She'd come for wisdom, she said. Whatever wisdom she sought from me, now that I'd made her tear up with my sob story, it was perfect to get to the point.
"Hehe, I got all sentimental there, unlike me. Can't keep hogging your time, Lord Golden."
"Not at all. For you, Aman, I could talk till dawn."
"Oh? Sorry. Even if late, I have to head back by my curfew."
Disappointing... You idiot.
Touch the general all you want, but not his daughter!
Gaining favor by selling wisdom to officials. Or cozying up to a powerful family's lady sans office, for future gains.
The latter had more variables to watch. Especially if this young-looking woman entered service—she could rise high in Cao Cao's wake, maybe even to Grand Commandant.
"Then I'll lend you that wisdom right now. What do you need?"
"How to kill the beast."
"......"
Blunter than expected.
"The beast?"
"Yes. To catch the beast rampaging in the east."
"......"
One beast in the east. One man—or one animal.
"You mean the one with all those supposed fathers?"
"Oh dear. It's a bit awkward for me to say, but if you put it like that, Lord Golden, I'm in a tough spot."
"Haha, my case is different."
Sure, I honor Huang Shengyan as my fourth father now as Hwang Wol-yeong, but it's not like Lü Bu.
"He chooses fathers himself. I honor those who truly love me as fathers."
I respect Huang Shengyan more as a foster son than as a blood son, and serve my foster mother with all my heart as a man of the Huang clan in his stead.
"He'll be reviled later for choosing his own fathers. If Duke Cao subdues Lü Bu, he'll probably say something like this."
If I were Lü Bu. If I knelt before Cao Cao on the execution ground...
"Mother!!"
I dropped to my knees before Cao Aman.
"...Pardon?"
"This humble one has changed fathers all his life, but only one mother! Now that she's gone, let me honor Duke Cao as my mother!"
"Eek..."
Cao Aman shook her head in disgust. I straightened up and returned to my seat.
"He'll beg for his life like that."
"Ha. The unparalleled Lü Bu, doing that?"
"Everyone's will to live is different. A hero like him might cling even harder."
If I were Lü Bu, that's what I'd do. Though I wouldn't stoop to his shameless, beastly level.
"So Duke Cao seeks ways to subdue Lü Bu, and you're asking me for wisdom on that?"
"Yes. Any ideas?"
"Two paths come to mind."
Her eyes lit up the moment I mentioned them.
"One: kill Liu Bei and drive Lü Bu from Xuzhou. The other: spare Liu Bei and kill Lü Bu."
"...So one of them always survives?"
"Yes."
"Setting aside the details, how did you come up with an answer to my question so quickly?"
"...Hehe."
Truth was, on the way to Heodo, I'd debated the realm's situation with Zhuge Liang. If Sima Yi saw the battlefield board best, Zhuge Liang grasped the entire central plains—and the world—from her seat.
Zhuge Liang favored killing Lü Bu and sparing Liu Bei. I favored killing Liu Bei and letting Lü Bu go.
We debated which was wiser all the way to Heodo.
"Hoping to join Cao Cao's army...?"
"N-not particularly."
Zhuge Liang would kill me if she heard.
"Not that I care about saving Lü Bu or Liu Bei."
If I had to save one, better a rational man than a beast.
"Just wondering what I'd choose if I were Cao Cao. Of course..."
The buzz was kicking in.
"Which path she takes is entirely up to her."
I just didn't want the responsibility.
"The advisors offer countless schemes."
Smirk.
"But the choice is ultimately Duke Cao's."
Cao Cao smacked her lips, eyeing the young man before her.
"Why not join us? My lady truly likes someone like you, Lord Golden."
"Haha, honored that Han's Grand General favors a nobody like me."
"Yes, really. She'd even arrange a marriage."
"Pardon?"
"Hehe."
Cao Cao tapped the table with her finger.
"Any woman among my subordinates you're interested in marrying? Seriously."