The Man Who Used His Head Under the Dinner Table
A few days had passed. More footprints marked the road, and the number of bandits had slowly grown. Yellow Turban remnants, displaced refugees, wandering thugs—outcasts with nowhere else to belong began to trickle in one by one. What had started as a band of five, including me, had swelled to fifteen. The valley just off the road had solidified into our permanent stronghold.
They were a pathetic bunch for bandits, their equipment still laughable. Bamboo spears, wooden clubs, blades of dubious quality. But numbers themselves were a kind of strength. And above all, what pleased me most was that this road was putting food on the table.
“It’s strange. Lately, the travelers pay the toll without a single complaint,” one of my subordinates said with a grin.
“It’s all thanks to you, Boss. ‘No round-trip toll,’ ‘We only take the toll and leave you alone,’ ‘Safety guaranteed.’ Those three lines have merchants seeking out this route on their own.”
“Yeah, yeah. If you don’t shit on the dinner table, they keep coming back,” I laughed, gazing at the road beside the valley. Several sacks of dried meat and provisions. Today’s haul was decent enough.
“But Boss,” another man who had approached from behind spoke up cautiously. A familiar face—one of the Yellow Turban remnants we’d taken in a few days ago. From the start, he’d known the terrain around Mount Tai well, never spoke recklessly, and always read the room before opening his mouth.
“It looks like other groups will start eyeing this road soon.”
“Why?”
“There are still three or four small merchant caravans passing through every day, aren’t there? Even if we robbed just one or two of them, it would be quite profitable. But we’re playing the long game. Rumors spread fast, so I suspect the smaller outfits nearby have already caught wind of it.”
I nodded. He was right. This road wasn’t large enough to attract warlords or officials, making it a true lawless zone.
“When the food increases, the flies come swarming.”
At those words, the man lowered his head. This bastard’s got a decent head on his shoulders.
“You. What’s your name?”
“...Yu Byeok, sir.”
I frowned for a moment. Yu Byeok? I’d heard that name somewhere before. Yu Byeok... Wait, that Yu Byeok?
Reality snapped back into focus. Thanks to all the Three Kingdoms lore I’d absorbed from books and games, the name had been tucked away in some corner of my mind. The guy who’d thrown in with Yuan Shu and Sun Jian, only to later get attacked by Cao Cao and beheaded.
“...Hah.”
I turned my head slightly and fell into thought. Up until now, I’d just seen him as ‘a guy who talks well’ and ‘someone with a bit of a brain.’ Well, there was always the chance he was just a namesake, but even if he wasn’t the real Yu Byeok, a mind like this was incredibly useful.
“Alright. From now on, you stick by my side.”
“Pardon?”
“Do you think any of these other idiots have brains like yours? I need at least one or two sharp ones close by.”
This time, he simply nodded without another word. I turned my gaze back toward the road. Another cart had appeared in the distance.
Good. It’s still small, but the board is finally set.
And I muttered under my breath, “Time to start making some preparations.”
I stood on the hill, looking down at the road, and murmured, “This was never a route armies used to travel, was it?”
South of Mount Tai in Qing Province. It was a remote path branching off the main road, but it served as a narrow shortcut connecting villages and markets. Too tight for military forces to pass through comfortably, wide enough for a single cart. If the Yellow Turban Rebellion had never happened, it might have fallen under local administration even if the central army ignored it. What traveled here were small merchant groups, herb gatherers, or peddlers buying and selling goods on market days.
Because it lay off the regular routes, those who used this path cared more about practicality than money. And what those types reacted to most sensitively were safety and value for their coin.
“We don’t charge round-trip tolls, we don’t overcharge, and we don’t rob them even if they’re carrying a lot of goods.” I counted the points off on my fingers. “With conditions like these, it wouldn’t be strange if they lined up to use this road.”
In fact, the number of small caravans using this path had recently settled at two or three per day. Some had even begun using it as their regular route. For bandits, this was an ideal, stable source of income. Those who had tasted it once now paid the toll without complaint. Even those who had initially planned to avoid paying had started choosing to ‘pay the reasonable toll and pass safely’ rather than risk trouble. The rumors spread naturally.
In the narrow pass south of Mount Tai in Qing Province, there are bandits. But they don’t overcharge the toll, and they don’t covet your goods.
Paying the toll is annoying, but at least they don’t rob you.
If they don’t take a round-trip fee and even guarantee the safety of your life and cargo…
When rumors like these spread, people naturally flocked in greater numbers.
“But the problem is…” I looked down at the valley beneath the hill. It wouldn’t be strange if others started eyeing this place soon. Just as Yu Byeok had said. This road was remote enough to be essentially a lawless zone, and the terrain between villages made it perfect for bandits to hide in. If someone had already set their sights on it, they were probably sharpening their blades right now.
“It wouldn’t be strange if another bastard like me showed up soon.”
The moment I finished speaking, Yu Byeok, who had been standing silently beside me, spoke in a low voice.
“...It will happen soon.”
I didn’t even turn my head. I simply kept my gaze forward and continued.
“You said the same thing last time. Why do you think so?”
“Where people gather, profit appears. Where profit appears, those who seek it follow. This road is quickly becoming such a place.”
His tone was short and decisive. As expected, this guy’s head worked well. It wasn’t for nothing that I’d ordered him to stay by my side. He didn’t talk much, didn’t push himself forward unnecessarily. When given an order, he followed without complaint, yet he always dropped exactly the right words when needed.
Damn. He really does understand orders perfectly. No wonder this bastard left at least one line in the history books.
I exhaled through my nose. “Is that so? Then what’s our countermeasure?”
“First, surveillance. As the number of caravans has increased, so will the number of people approaching. We should have patrols around the area several times a day.”
“If we look lax, someone will definitely come knocking.”
At my words, Yu Byeok nodded. “Yes. And besides surveillance, the ‘visible numbers’ are important. Even inflating our apparent size has an effect.”
“Are you telling me to set up scarecrows?”
“...That is also a method.”
I let out a small chuckle. The idea that we had to set up scarecrows to hold this narrow road between the southern valley and hills of Mount Tai… strangely, it didn’t sound bad at all.
“Alright, Yu Byeok.” I turned my head slightly. “You take the lead on this. Let’s see what a guy who uses his head can actually do.”
Yu Byeok silently bowed his head. Once I gave the order, he asked no further questions. He simply lowered his head and quietly began to move.
From that afternoon onward, several bandits were sent out to patrol the surroundings.
“Hey, why do we have to go out?”
“Fuck, if we’re out patrolling, that means fewer people to collect tolls.”
“We’re supposed to just wander around for nothing?”
Complaints rose from every direction. A few even openly sat down nearby in outright defiance. And it wasn’t just the patrollers.
“Yo, why the hell are we setting these up?”
“We’re bandits, not farmers. What’s with the scarecrows? Shit.”
As the grumbling grew louder and rougher, I descended from the hill. I slowly approached Yu Byeok, who was quietly giving instructions.
“Hey, Yu Byeok.”
“Yes.”
“It’s getting pretty noisy.”
Yu Byeok took a short breath. “My apologies. I assigned six men to patrol and ordered scarecrows to be placed at the entrance as a visual deterrent, but there is still some resistance.”
I glanced at the gathered men. Some were dragging bamboo spears behind them, others sat beside half-finished scarecrows. I deliberately raised my voice so everyone nearby could hear.
“Is that so? Then why exactly are we doing this?”
Yu Byeok answered without the slightest hesitation. “Right now, patrolling and setting up scarecrows may feel like a hassle. But what will happen when even more caravans gather in the future? Won’t other groups start interfering?”
At those words, some of the men turned their heads. But I didn’t even look in their direction.
“For now, there isn’t much food on the table, so it’s fine. But listen.” I slowly walked over and stood beside Yu Byeok. “When more dishes start appearing on the table, you have to guard the bowls properly. So what’s the first thing you have to do then?”
“...Clean up.”
“That’s right. Cleanup. Is there anyone among you who can properly guard the table and clean up? You bastards who would starve to death if I didn’t give the orders.”
One of them flinched. I narrowed my eyes. “And what’s this about patrols being useless? You idiots… do you want to wake up with a knife in the back of your head?”
“Even while sleeping, you must always stay vigilant of your surroundings,” Yu Byeok quietly added.
I nodded at his words. “Exactly. This narrow pass we’re guarding may seem insignificant, but we never know when someone who wants it will appear. If that someone has more men than us and better equipment, will you still whine that patrols are too much trouble?”
Silence fell over the bandits. A few lowered their heads in shame, while another began setting up a scarecrow again.
“Good. Continue. Yu Byeok, split them up as you see fit for patrols and setting up the scarecrows at the entrance. This is my order, and it is law.”
“Understood.”
When Yu Byeok bowed once more, I slowly climbed back up the hill. Beneath my feet was a path firmly packed by the passage of many people. On clear days, carts would raise dust; when it rained, it would turn to mud. But this narrow mountain path was currently my lifeline and their source of food.
I have to protect this.
I tapped my scabbard lightly and muttered, “We’re still just laying the board. It may look shabby for now…”
The corner of my mouth rose on its own.
“But since it’s a dinner table, I have to manage it properly so that the food can be served right.”