Let's Keep It Quiet
“The troops... currently number exactly 382 men.”
Yeon So-yeon said as she closed the ledger. I chewed and swallowed the piece of cooked meat in my hand before turning my head.
“We haven’t even had any kids yet, so why the hell are the numbers going up?”
Yu Byeok cleared his throat beside me. Just a month ago, there weren’t even a hundred people in this valley. Now tents were lined up in rows, four watchtowers had been built, and there were scattered huts and earthen houses going up everywhere. The men were swinging swords and spears, children were running around between the cooking fires, and the women were drawing water and drying bundles of straw. It was no longer just a bandit group—it had become a bandit village.
“That path was the deciding factor,” So-yeon said quietly. “The northeast trade route… the one connecting both Qing Province and Xuzhou to Yanzhou. It may not be large, but it’s frequently used by mid-sized merchant caravans. Ever since we took control of it, the number of merchants and travelers using it has increased, and so have the tolls we collect.”
I nodded slowly and cleared my mouth. “Hoo, fuck. So that’s why even though we’ve got two hundred more mouths to feed, not a single one is starving.”
So-yeon flipped through the ledger with a small smile. At that moment, one of the men carrying supplies past the fire glanced at me.
“By the way, this is Qing Province, right?”
I asked, placing my hand on a crudely drawn map. So-yeon’s eyebrows twitched ever so slightly.
“You mean Taishan is in Qing Province?”
“…Yeah.”
“That doesn’t make much sense. The southern part of Taishan where we are is the heart of Yanzhou. It borders both Qing Province and Xuzhou, but administratively, this is clearly Yanzhou.”
I frowned. “Fuck, so I’ve been talking complete bullshit this whole time.”
Yu Byeok nodded and added, “Yes. Since you called it Qing Province, everyone believed it.”
I tapped my scabbard and spat. “From now on, anyone who calls this place Qing Province gets starved for two days. And don’t even think about getting any broth with it.”
Watching me talk with Yu Byeok, So-yeon smiled quietly. The smile on her lips was soft, but her words remained sharp and clear.
“Lord Jang Yeon, it’s time we established proper organization and rules.”
“Organization and rules?”
“Structuring the troops, patrols, guard duty, scouting, supplies, and so on. If we keep lumping everything together like this, conflicts will arise. Especially—over women.”
I nodded slowly at her words. Just as So-yeon predicted, the problem erupted sooner than expected. From beneath the southern watchtower came shouts of “You fucking bastard!” and “I told you that bitch was mine!”—followed by the sounds of a brawl.
-Thud! Thwack!
Two bandits were rolling around in the mud, grabbing each other by the neck. Sword hilts clattered as they scraped the ground, and the one whose pants had torn swung a fist before tumbling over.
“She’s my woman, you son of a bitch!”
“Fuck off! You were just keeping her without using her, so I took her!”
The woman beside them sat crouched on the ground with a bruise on her face, while the surrounding men watched nervously, unsure whether they should intervene or just enjoy the show.
I watched the scene from a distance, spat out the meat I’d been chewing, and shot to my feet.
“What the fuck… No matter how nicely you set the table, there’s always some bastard who has to shit right on it.”
Yu Byeok rushed in first and pulled them apart. I slowly drew my sword.
-Shing.
The moment the blade left its sheath, the entire valley fell deathly silent. The two men who had been slammed into the mud whimpered as they lay face-down on their stomachs. I planted my foot on their heads and spoke quietly.
“Fighting over something as pathetic as this… You can’t even control your own bitch properly, yet your mouths sure run fast.”
Silence. In the heavy quiet, I slowly stabbed my sword into the mud.
Squelch.
“Bring in as many women as you want. Kidnap them, seduce them, whatever. But if she goes hungry, cries, runs away, or ends up clinging to another man’s cock—”
-Thud.
I kicked the men lying prone.
“That means you’re pathetic, you stupid fucks. If you can’t even use your dick right, don’t bring women here in the first place.”
The faces of the bandits gathered in the valley twisted. “I’ll let it slide today. But if I see this kind of shit again,” I said, glaring at each man around me one by one, “I’ll cut off your head instead of your dick. Remember that.”
So-yeon, who had been quietly watching, approached me and spoke in a gentle voice.
“Now… we have rules.”
“Took long enough.”
“It’s not too late. We need to rein them in before things rot from the inside.”
Her tone was still neat and proper, but every word was as sharp as a blade. I shook the mud off my sword and muttered, “When men start fighting over women, it means the table’s been set. The real question is who’s going to shit on it now.”
So-yeon flipped through her ledger for a moment, then laid several bamboo slips before me one by one.
“This is a proposed organizational structure. We’ll reorganize the troops, separate supply, guard duty, and scouting units.”
I frowned as I looked down at the papers. “What the fuck… Are you saying we should build an actual army?”
“We already have over three hundred men. We can no longer call ourselves a mere small bandit group.”
I stared intently at the characters written in charcoal on the bamboo slips. The rounded handwriting listed things like ‘Supply,’ ‘Weapon Management,’ and ‘Food Transport.’
“Who came up with this?”
“I did,” So-yeon said calmly. “You hold the sword, my lord. I simply hold the brush.”
I snorted and tapped the bamboo slips. “Fine. I’ve gotten used to watching people fight with brushes now. Let’s give it a shot, damn it.”
Hearing that, Yu Byeok cautiously continued, “Then I will formally organize a proper patrol unit as well.”
“Didn’t we already have one? You and a few others have been going around.”
“That was only at the level of reconnaissance. With more paths and more people now… we need to subdivide and separate things properly.”
“Ha, fuck. We really are turning into an army.”
I scratched my chin. “Alright. Before we step in shit, let’s get the ones who can smell it first organized. If we get hit without any preparation, we’re done for.”
So-yeon turned over another bamboo slip. “And the final organization is intelligence.”
“Intelligence?”
“So far, we’ve only seen the world with our own two eyes. But now… we also need to know who is watching us.”
I stared quietly at So-yeon’s face. “You’re dragging this out. So what are you saying?”
“One merchant group. We need to recruit someone with decent connections in the area to our side. If they compile information once a week—changes in the surrounding regions, rumors, troop movements—we can detect threats in advance.”
“Hmm…”
I gathered saliva in my mouth and spat it out. “If I get stabbed in the back by some merchant bastard, can I hold you responsible? And I mean really responsible, not just with your body.”
“Lord Jang Yeon. Intelligence may feel slower than a blade, but the blade that arrives late strikes the deepest.”
I chuckled. “Fine. Pick out one merchant group with a decent mouth. Since you’ve learned to wield a brush now, you can even write them free passage permits yourself.”
A few days later, Yu Byeok walked into the hut. His expression was blank, but his eyes were trembling with tension.
“Boss.”
“What is it this time?”
“There’s been an incident on the southern main road. A group of refugees—about forty of them. Half are dead.”
I spat out the rice I’d been chewing. “Dead?”
“Yes. The condition of the bodies is horrific. Slashed by blades, beaten with clubs. Some even had their necks cut and were hung from trees.”
I rose slowly to my feet. “Any traces?”
“They left them in plain sight. Burned luggage, shattered carriage wheels, footprints all over the corpses. But there were no banners.”
I placed my hand on my sword hilt. “They didn’t hide the traces?”
Yu Byeok nodded. “They left them deliberately, almost as if showing off.”
I curled the corner of my mouth. “…Fuck, this smells exactly like us, doesn’t it?”
So-yeon quietly added, “The fact that they didn’t bother hiding that they’re bandits and left such obvious traces is practically a declaration of war.”
“Ha, but they didn’t reveal their name or carry any banners?”
Yu Byeok added one more thing. “They must have brought proper weapons to kill us with.”
I let out a dry laugh. “No words, just weapons? Then we’ll have to give them the same answer.”
At dusk, the scouting party returned to the valley. The men, reeking of dust and blood, knelt before me, panting.
“Boss. Strange bastards have appeared near the southern main road.”
“Where and how many?”
“They’re at the fork in the forest… There were traces of several tents pitched and fires lit. We also found signs of roasted meat and one torn-up merchant banner nearby.”
“What about the bastards themselves?”
“We didn’t see them. But…”
The reporting man trailed off, repeatedly clenching and unclenching his fists. “There were a shit-ton of footprints. Just from the marks in the dirt, there were at least four hundred. Maybe… even over five hundred.”
The surroundings fell silent. I gripped my sword hilt out of habit.
“Fuck, they brought a whole crowd. As the owner of this valley, I can’t just sit still.”
Yu Byeok spoke up beside me. “It doesn’t look like they’re looking for a direct clash. Their current position seems deliberately exposed and sloppy, and their guards appear lax.”
“So they’re waiting for us to come?”
“Yes. Or it could be a lure.”
I stood up and tapped my scabbard. “Fine. If it’s a lure, we’ll bite once. But I have no intention of getting my ankles caught. Let’s go take a quiet look.”
So-yeon said softly, “We lack information. It could be dangerous to go now.”
“That’s exactly why I’m going.”
I grinned. “Going now doesn’t mean I’m running away out of fear. It means the owner of the house is giving them a proper fucking welcome.”
I gripped my sword and turned to Yu Byeok. “Pick twenty men who can move quietly. Guys who don’t talk with their mouths but speak with their blades. Not the soft ones—pick the ones who’ll grab their swords the moment they wake up.”
“I’ll select them immediately.”
As I headed outside, I muttered, “Let’s go see the faces of these so-called fancy guests.”
-Swish!
The underbrush tore apart as a blade sliced through a throat. Jang Yeon moved without a sound, cutting the life from the lead sentry.
-Thud!
-Crash!
-Gack!
The bandits belatedly opened their eyes wide. Men who hadn’t even changed out of their sleep clothes burst out of the tents.
“Wh-what the—”
“Let’s keep it quiet, you fuck.”
Jang Yeon muttered as he drove the tip of his blade into one man’s forehead.
A surprise attack carried out by twenty men. In that short time, nearly forty enemies lay dead on the ground.
“Don’t light any fires. Leave traces, but don’t leave a scent.”
At those words, the bandits nodded and quickly withdrew. Jang Yeon stayed behind until the end, quietly looking down at the enemy camp.
And then, at the far edge, a single faint silhouette moved. A woman with long hair tied back stood beside a tent, sword resting on her shoulder as she scanned the surroundings. She was quiet, but her movements were nimble. Her clothes weren’t flashy, but they weren’t shabby either. Pants that reached her knees, a neat waistband, and those eyes—
“Fuck, that gaze is pretty damn defiant.”
Jang Yeon let out a short laugh. “Looks like she’s got a bit of meat on her bones too, and her tits are pretty big? Not bad at all. Just wait a little, you bitch.”
Jang Yeon tapped his sword hilt and silently vanished into the forest.