Po Sanniang (2)
The next day, I set out with Po Sanniang for an inn along the marketplace street.
Guan Yinping had thrown a childish tantrum, insisting she come along, but I left her at home—another quarrel like yesterday's was the last thing we needed.
I took a sip of tea and asked Po Sanniang,
"Where has the Po Family Manor decided to relocate?"
The manor had sat on the border between Yi and Jing provinces. Now that Wu had tightened its grip on Jing, moving the main household was no longer optional.
"I received a letter two days ago saying the preparations were finished. By now they should be on their way to Chengdu."
"That's a relief."
If a family fell into enemy hands as hostages, they could be forced into betrayal. They might even be pressed into spy work—stealing state secrets and intelligence. The danger was real.
Liu Shan nearly got dragged off to Wu as a hostage by Lady Sun, too.
Of course, that would have been a tremendous stroke of luck—until Zhao Yun intervened and spoiled it, more's the pity.
Another example was Xu Shu, who had remained loyal to Liu Bei until his mother, held captive in Wei, forced him to leave. Given how desperately Shu needed talent, that one still stung—unlike the near-miss with Liu Shan.
Family, for anyone, was a weakness that could be exploited.
"If there's anything I can do to help, just say the word."
The Po family had moved into Jing because of Guan Suo—because of me. Even setting that aside, she had been an enormous help at Yiling, and I felt well-disposed toward her for it.
At those words, Po Sanniang looked straight at me.
"Ever since you rose from that sickbed, you've seemed like a different person. It's a little strange."
"…Is that so?"
Guan Suo's opinion of the people of this world had never been particularly kind. So what, exactly, had made Po Sanniang fall for him?
"Why did you ask me here, Nanggun?"
"There's something I wanted to ask."
When I had first opened my eyes at the Po Family Manor, she had stayed at my side more anxiously than anyone. At Yiling she had gone along with my false reports and granted every unreasonable request I made. That was why I was curious. What kind of bond had Guan Suo and Po Sanniang shared, for her to go so far?
"I want to know how you and I met—and how we ended up betrothed."
At my words, Po Sanniang closed her eyes for a moment, as if sinking into memory.
"If you'd rather not talk about it, that's fine."
"No. You said there are gaps in your memory, Nanggun. Of course you'd be curious."
She did not seem offended. If anything, she looked lost in fond recollection.
"…Shall I start from the very first time we met, then?"
And so Po Sanniang began to tell me the story of the past.
She had been the third daughter of the Po family, a wealthy household in Ji Province. Born the youngest girl of a prosperous clan, she had grown up wanting for nothing—her father, Po Yuanwai, doted on her without measure.
Po Sanniang possessed more spirit than most young men. She neglected her books and poured herself into martial arts and the study of war. As a child she played at soldiers with the boys and swung wooden swords until her arms burned. Day after day she trained, and she was happy.
But once she came of age, the household began to force other pastimes and duties upon her. A daughter of a powerful clan was expected to master elegant etiquette and refined accomplishments; she was to cultivate friendships among other great houses and study poetry and music as well. When she spoke with the young ladies of renowned families, she behaved as if she were wearing a mask.
Suffocating.
Everything she did felt like clothes that did not fit. The days grew so full that finding time to practice the martial arts became harder and harder.
I suppose I have to cut back.
At first she threw herself into it wholeheartedly, mindful of all her father and the family had given her. But as every action tightened around her like a snare, the anguish only deepened.
Could she go on like this?
After long deliberation, Po Sanniang stood before her family and declared her ambition.
"I want to become a general of the realm and stand upon the battlefield."
She admired the warriors who devoted their loyalty and their lives to their lords, and she envied the heroes whose names shook the land. But the family's reaction was almost uniformly hostile. No matter how hard a woman honed her skill at arms, she could never be a general. Such was the social order of the Han.
Even so, she would not give up. She refused to abandon her true self and live forever behind a mask.
"I want to be a general! I want to burn this body of mine for the sake of the realm!"
"Don't talk like a child! Do you have any idea how dangerous a battlefield is?!"
Po Yuanwai rose at once in fierce opposition. Had she aspired to greatness as a civil official, he might have respected it—but as a general, never. The battlefield was a place where a stray arrow could snuff out a life for nothing. He could not bear to imagine what might befall his beautiful daughter if she marched to war.
From a father's point of view, the fear was only natural. Yet Po Sanniang remained stubborn, and when neither would yield, Po Yuanwai played his trump card: he began looking for a marriage match. She was still young for it, he knew—but once she had a child, he reasoned, she would abandon all thoughts of the field.
When her father arranged a formal meeting for a political marriage, Po Sanniang slipped out of the house in the dead of night while the family slept.
"Once I become a military officer, Father will change his mind."
She knew perfectly well how childish it was. A young lady who knew nothing of the world, defying her household and running away. But she had no desire to become someone's wife and spend her days managing a home.
Po Sanniang wandered the land as a wandering knight-errant, hunting bandits. She believed that if she built a name for herself, one of the warlords would summon her. Of course there was no shortage of men who, dazzled by her looks, pressed her with lewd intentions or picked fights for sport.
"Haha! How is a woman supposed to become a general?"
"Find yourself a decent husband and learn to keep a house!"
But her martial skill surpassed that of most able-bodied men. The gangs who had scorned her found themselves beaten into the dirt instead.
I'll rise above this contempt and become a general. I swear it.
She cleared out packs that preyed on the common people and slowly built a reputation. The prejudiced stares sometimes made her wish she had been born a man. Her name began to spread, yet no one took interest—because she was a woman. Not a single lord under heaven sought her out.
The bias cut so deep that, more than once, she thought how much better it would have been to be born male.
After one rejection after another, Po Sanniang was wandering alone through Jing Province when a bandit named Yan Gang, who operated in the region, appeared before her.
"Hahaha! What a beautiful face! You alone are fit to be the wife of Yan Gang!"
He meant to overpower her and force a marriage. Sensing he would lose in a direct fight, he sent his men in first.
"I don't care for men weaker than I am. If you want me, come at me yourself like a man."
"Hmph. I won't fall for a taunt like that!"
She tried to goad him, but Yan Gang only smiled with ugly cunning. He meant to wear her down with sheer numbers. Exhausted and driven into a corner, Po Sanniang was about to fall—when
—Shhk!
Someone burst in and, in a single stroke, took Yan Gang's head. The moment their chief dropped, the bandits fled with their tails between their legs.
…What terrifying skill.
Witnessing martial prowess of that caliber, Po Sanniang knew at once that this was no ordinary man.
"Thank you for saving me, my benefactor."
She clasped her fists in a formal salute and offered her gratitude. He was a handsome young man with hair the color of deep cyan and a bearing of rare elegance—a figure who looked every inch the hero.
"I was only passing through. No need for thanks."
His casual way of speaking to a stranger sat oddly with her, but he had saved her life, so she let it pass.
"I am Po Sanniang. May I ask my benefactor's honored name?"
"Guan Suo. Courtesy name Yuji."
For a martial artist of such skill, his manner was surprisingly light. Warriors, she had always thought, carried a heavy, solemn air about them—yet this one did not.
By way of thanks she offered to buy him a meal, and he did not refuse. As they talked, she learned that he was the son of Guan Yu, the greatest warrior of the age.
"So you are the son of the Lord of the Beautiful Beard…"
But a question rose at once.
"Why is General Guan Yu's son in a place like this?"
Jing was Guan Yu's domain, so meeting him was not strange in itself. What struck her as odd was finding him dressed as a light traveler in some remote backwater.
"I used martial pilgrimage as an excuse and left home."
"Why?"
Po Sanniang had envied him his birth. Was Guan Yu not ranked first among the heroes of the age?
"The expectations around me were too much."
Guan Suo had been adrift. Son of Guan Yu—the man whose martial might was said to equal ten thousand, the living embodiment of loyalty and righteousness—the weight of surrounding expectation was crushing. Guan Suo surpassed his brothers in raw martial talent, yet he hated stifling atmospheres and longed for freedom.
His eldest brother, Guan Ping, rode at their father's side and earned great merit. The second son, Guan Xing, showed brilliance in more than arms alone and was already praised as a prodigy. Guan Suo himself excelled at nothing but the martial arts.
Of course martial talent was a gift—but everyone wanted him to hone that gift, and their father imposed a strict education. The expectations of those around him closed on him like shackles. Mentally exhausted, he had taken to wandering Jing under the pretense of a warrior's pilgrimage.
Po Sanniang felt a kinship of shared suffering. Sensing that common ground, she proposed they work as knight-errants together.
For a month the two of them hunted bandits and built a friendship. He never pried too deeply into her past and treated her with kindness—and that kindness won her favor.
He treats every other woman the same way, though.
The way he was indiscriminately kind to every woman he met—classic womanizer behavior—did make her a little weary.
That same nature is probably why he helped me when I was in danger.
In time they grew close enough to trust each other with their backs. Po Sanniang told him of her birth and her dream, curious in spite of herself how he would respond.
"Your dream is to become a general?"
"Yes. I want to command troops as a general of the army."
"…Does Master Yuji think it impossible as well?"
From Ji Province to Jing, everyone who heard her ambition had laughed and called it impossible. Mocked for a delusion that would never come true, her confidence had already taken a hard blow.
"No. I think it's possible."
"What?"
Po Sanniang stared at him in open astonishment.
"Your martial skill is better than most able-bodied men, Po Sanniang. When we cleared out those bandits, your eye for where to strike and your judgment were excellent. You study the art of war whenever you have a spare moment—how could anyone say you lack the talent for command?"
It was the first time. The first person who had ever affirmed her dream.
"I was planning to head back soon anyway. Shall I speak to my father? If you have the aptitude, he'll put you to use as an officer. I can't promise anything, of course."
Until that moment, no one had even granted her a chance—simply because she was a woman. Her heart was deeply moved.
"Th-thank you so much—!!"
From that day, the two of them set aside their knight-errant wanderings. When Guan Suo ended his martial pilgrimage and set out for Jiangling, Po Sanniang went with him.
His kindness—offhand, yet always mindful of her—began to draw her heart, little by little.