A Happiness Once Forgotten
A Happiness Once Forgotten
"Wh... what? What do you mean... Say that again!"
"W-well... the young master and the young ladies, by Her Majesty the Emperor..."
The soldier stammered through his report.
The moment she heard that her three children had been taken to the emperor, Sun Jian felt as though a spike was being driven into her skull.
And who was the emperor?
A callow child, true, but still the supreme sovereign of this land, the ruler seated upon the highest throne.
No matter how much Sun Jian owed Yuan Shu, the emperor's authority and power could never be dismissed—a figure who could snap a neck or two at the slightest displeasure.
The fact that her own children had caught the emperor's eye was enough to send a chilling cold sweat down any mother's back.
"Damn it... I'll go first."
"Yes, General."
Sun Jian hurried off.
In that instant, a face suddenly surfaced in her mind.
'Perhaps... I ought to inform General Yuan Shu of this.'
The situation was fraught from many angles, yet he was a man she believed could somehow resolve it.
It was true that, as the actual commander of this army, he possessed commensurate strength and ability, but more than that, Sun Jian personally placed her trust in that man.
Thanks to her experience at their first meeting, she had become convinced that this man would not mistreat her. No, rather, it was because she had seen how he genuinely cherished his subordinates throughout her service as his vassal. She believed that even if a complicated issue arose, he would handle it well.
With the thought of seeking Yuan Shu's help should the need arise, Sun Jian rushed toward the tent where the emperor was staying.
But...
"Hm? You must be..."
'Ah, fuck...'
A woman standing there accompanied by a retinue of palace maids.
With that pink hair, Sun Jian recognized her at a single glance.
The person she least wanted to meet at this moment...
Empress Dowager He.
Of all the times to run into her while rushing to deal with a problem involving the emperor, the situation made Sun Jian want to curse inwardly...
Still, she could not let it show, so Sun Jian swallowed her curses and first lowered her head respectfully.
"I, Sun Jian, pay my respects to Your Majesty."
"Yes... That was your name. You took a turn guarding Her Majesty and me alongside the other generals the other day."
"I-I am honored, Your Highness."
"But what brings you here? As I recall, you were not assigned to guard Her Majesty today."
'Son of a...'
The Empress Dowager had the guard roster memorized down to the last detail.
With that single remark cutting off any half-baked excuse of being a guard on duty, Sun Jian's mind grew even more muddled.
'No... Would it be better to just tell her the truth here?'
As the very person who had mercilessly purged the late emperor's concubines, Empress Dowager He was the subject of thoroughly unsavory rumors.
That she was a demon who bathed in blood every night.
That she tossed officials who crossed her into a blazing brazier while they still lived.
That she collected the heads of concubines who flirted with the emperor as a hobby.
Even allowing for considerable exaggeration, the label of wicked woman meant her temper was surely far from gentle.
However,
after spending the last few days guarding the Empress Dowager at close quarters,
Sun Jian had come to think that she was, unexpectedly, not as bad a person as the rumors suggested.
She had made no complaint during the long march, and whenever she needed something, she simply spoke in a soft voice.
Looking at it this way, the ones whose behavior during the march had spoiled people's mood were not the famously wicked woman in the empire, but actually Sun Jian's own daughters...
In any case, for those reasons, Sun Jian concluded that she was better off speaking honestly here than piling up clumsy excuses.
She figured that, as a mother raising daughters herself, the Empress Dowager would understand to some degree.
"W-well... the thing is..."
It was then.
"Sis! You're here—H-heuk! The... the Empress Dowager."
'...'
Huang Gai had emerged from the tent at a truly awkward moment to greet her.
Before Sun Jian could say anything, Empress Dowager He voiced her suspicion first.
"Has something happened? Both you, General Sun Jian, and that one... the atmosphere feels somewhat strange."
"Erm... Well... that is..."
Huang Gai faltered, unable to answer.
The Empress Dowager, seeming to sense something amiss, began to harden her expression.
It was then.
—"Kyaaaa!!"
"!"
A piercing sound reached their ears.
At that noise emanating from inside the imperial tent, the Empress Dowager began heading that way without a moment's hesitation.
"Y-your Highness."
"Stand aside this instant! I must see Her Majesty."
"Erm..."
Huang Gai floundered, unable to bring himself to block the Empress Dowager.
Overwhelmed by her forcefulness, Sun Jian could also say nothing more and had no choice but to follow behind her.
'Goddamn...'
With a curse laden with deep foreboding, every kind of thought began to flood Sun Jian's mind.
But then...
"!"
Sun Jian, who had been about to enter the tent, could only halt when the Empress Dowager came to an abrupt stop in front of her.
And then, the scene inside glimpsed over the Empress Dowager's shoulder.
It was...
"Haha, how is that! This time, acting as Emperor Gaozu of Han, I have defeated the brutal Hegemon-King!"
"Defeated him!"
"Hmm... I-I still have five pieces remaining."
"Kyaaaak! Kyaaa!"
Curved jade pieces were strewn across the floor.
It was not difficult to tell what they were.
Xiangqi.
A game similar to what would later be called janggi across the sea on the peninsula,
it was a play depicting the Chu-Han Contention between Emperor Gaozu of Han and the Hegemon-King Xiang Yu...
but no matter how she looked at it, the game they were playing was not xiangqi. They were simply flicking pieces to knock them off the board—tanqi, or what was commonly known as the piece-flicking game.
The emperor and Sun Jian's three children were shouting, bursting into cheers and laughter, and enjoying tanqi.
Seeing the smiles drawn full upon their lips, a thread of relief began to flow through Sun Jian's heart—the dangerous situation she had feared had not come to pass.
'Well... say what you will, Her Majesty is still only an eight-year-old child...'
It was then.
"General Sun... those children are...?"
Empress Dowager He asked the question in a somewhat stiff voice.
Hearing it, Sun Jian felt the anxiety that still lingered stir within her and answered cautiously.
"I-I beg your pardon, Your Highness. Those children... are my own."
Sun Jian answered cautiously, worried that the sight might have displeased her and would draw punishment.
"How can this be..."
But.
"To see Her Majesty enjoying herself so... how long has it been since I last saw her like this..."
"..."
Emotion had seeped into the Empress Dowager's voice.
Recognizing the quiet longing it held, Sun Jian kept her silence for a moment.
*
Leaving the children to continue playing, Empress Dowager He Ha Eun returned to her own quarters.
She had dismissed the surrounding palace maids, and only Sun Jian, whom she had ordered to accompany her, sat with her now.
"Here, have some."
"I am honored, Your Highness."
"Honored, nonsense... I am the one who ought to be grateful. It was thanks to you that I could see Her Majesty's smiling face again after so long."
With those words, Empress Dowager He lifted her own tea.
Wearing a smile noticeably softer than before, she set down the half-emptied cup.
"I had been forgetting. For so very long... I had forgotten the things that were once so ordinary outside the Imperial Palace."
"Your Highness..."
Though she now held the lofty position of Empress Dowager, Ha Eun was at her roots a woman from a butcher's household who had once run wild in the market streets.
Looking back, the happiest time in her entire life had not been the days inside the Imperial Palace, but the time she had spent running around the hills and streams with her friends until she was breathless.
Swimming in the mud under the rising sunlight.
Roasting rabbits caught in snares and eating them.
The moment of heading home holding hands with friends while watching the glittering stars.
And in the smile she saw on her daughter today, Ha Eun had been able to catch a small glimpse of the happiness she herself had felt back then.
Although she could not give her daughter, the emperor, a true taste of that joy, as a mother, she now wished to offer her at least something akin to such happiness.
"If you are willing... I would like for them to continue playing like that from now on. Will you permit it?"
"What is there to permit or not permit? Let it be as Your Highness wishes."
"I am grateful that you say so. And... one more thing."
"Yes?"
Sun Jian expressed her puzzlement at Ha Eun's words.
Gazing at Sun Jian's face, Ha Eun asked in a careful voice.
"Are you not a mother with children, same as I? And I have heard that you also lost your husband—just like me."
"Yes. Regrettable though it is... that is so."
Sun Jian gave a bitter smile.
Ha Eun spoke to her in a voice filled with sympathy.
"In the end, the heart of a widow is something only another widow can truly understand... In that respect, I should like to talk with you often, General Sun. Will you do so?"
"If someone like me is acceptable... I would be glad."
Sun Jian responded, a touch bashful but not displeased.
Seeing her like that, Ha Eun painted a deep smile upon her lips.
Feeling joy that she had made a friend for the first time in an age.
Someone who was in a situation similar to her own.
And perhaps.
Someone who might share the 'same goal'...
*
"Really? Sun Jian and Her Highness the Empress Dowager?"
"Yeah. Lately the two of them seem to be getting rather close. Well... they're fellow moms, so I guess they connect over something."
"Hmm... That certainly makes sense."
At Ji Ling's words, I slowly nodded, thinking the situation was understandable.
I had also heard that Sun Jian's children played often with the emperor, and that too must have been related to the 'moms'' relationship.
Generally speaking, I viewed this development in a positive light, but on the other hand, I also began to think it might require a bit of caution.
Even though I was in a position of aiding them, there were limits to how close I could get to Empress Dowager He and the emperor.
For one thing, the Empress Dowager and I were, surprisingly, the same age, but the gender barrier and her status as Empress Dowager made it somewhat awkward for me to treat her casually from my position.
In that regard, the actions of my subordinate Sun Jian could serve as a good stepping-stone for me to build closer ties with the Imperial Family.
However,
alongside that advantage, this matter also had a concerning aspect.
No matter that she had become my subordinate, the other party was Sun Jian and the Sun clan.
They were the ones who, in the Original Timeline, had been under Yuan Shu's command yet ultimately walked their own independent path.
Of course, their moment of independence had come after Sun Jian's death, but when powerful symbols like the emperor and the Empress Dowager were involved as they were now, there was no telling which way the situation might bounce.
Moreover, back in the Original Timeline, Sun Jian had pulled that notorious stunt with the Imperial Seal.
While I was thus mulling it over,
Dong Zhuo, who was beside me and seemed to have noticed my thoughts, spoke in a level voice.
"If there is cause for concern, how about putting some distance between them under a suitable pretext? To prevent them from hatching anything strange..."
Her attitude said, just give the word and she would carry it out at once.
But at this, I slowly shook my head.
"No. For now, let us handle it by simply keeping an eye on them. There's no need to scratch a scab and make a wound based on mere possibility."
"... Is that so? If that is your will... then I understand."
She wore an expression that was somehow less than pleased.
Noticing the odd unease in it, I wondered if she was being a touch more sensitive than usual, and moved on to the next agenda item.
We had arrived in Ji Province and were restationing the troops while consolidating our internal foundations.
I was spending a hectic time on many fronts in order to match the timing of the denunciation letters soon to be scattered in all directions and the resulting raising of troops.
At a moment like this, it would be foolish to jump to conclusions and needlessly stir up conflict.
Having settled my thoughts thus,
my gaze returned to the map spread out before me...
To be precise, toward Luoyang, marked with a red dot.
Feeling a faint regret that I would not get to see their faces in person when they would soon clutch the napes of their necks and scream.