Even if I abandon the world...
Even if I abandon the world...
In all things, the path others walk has its limits.
And so she sought to forge a path entirely her own.
It was no different this time.
However.
"Find her! We must have Cao Cao, no matter what!"
"The traitor who dared attempt the assassination of General-in-Chief Ding Yuan! A handsome reward has been offered for the wretch!"
In the end, it ended in failure.
The price it exacted plunged her into a hell unlike anything she had ever known.
She could trust no one. A stretch of days began in which she could not drink a mouthful of water, could not close her eyes for a moment's sleep, without dread.
Though she had begun the undertaking brimming with confidence,
the bitter failure it delivered struck her heart with a pain far beyond anything she had imagined.
The vivid terror of death, experienced for the first time in her life.
In the midst of bitter failure and the harrowing days that followed,
she thrashed without end, struggling to survive.
Like a beast gnawing through the closing net with its teeth...
Without the faintest composure left,
without a shred of pretense remaining.
And then.
Now, at the moment she believed she had been driven to the end of the road,
she at last
steeled herself to become that beast.
—Shrrring... Shrrring...
The sound of a blade being whetted reached her ears.
Eerie and chilling, it bored in through the closed door.
Listening to that sound—the sound of people hunting the price on her head—
she slowly... drew her sword.
"Meng... Mengde? What are you doing?"
The brown-haired woman's voice trembled as she asked.
Fear had begun to seep into her spectacled eyes,
but the red-haired woman—
Cao Cao—wore a cold expression as she gazed at the drawn sword and spoke.
"I will not sit and wait to die. Before they can kill us... we strike first."
"Strike... strike them? You... you cannot mean...? Calm yourself, Mengde. It may be a simple misunderstanding. First we ought to observe the situation, and then..."
"And if they catch on while we wait? If a dozen of them rush us all at once—do you imagine the two of us could hold them off then?"
"Th... that is..."
"Right now, while their guard is down—this is our chance. If we do not act now... there is no way for me... for us to survive."
"B... but!"
The woman hesitated to the very last, her voice earnest.
Staring at her face,
Cao Cao let an icy light seep into her gaze and said:
"Though I may forsake the world... I will not let the world forsake me. If the world points its blade at me, then with my own hands... I will cut that world down!"
"Meng... de..."
A menacing presence, less like a person than a wild beast.
At the sheer ferocity of it, the brown-haired woman recoiled a step, gripped by instinctive dread.
Leaving her behind, Cao Cao faced the closed door and adjusted her grip on the hilt.
'It cannot... cannot end like this... I cannot die here, so futilely...!'
Rage,
confusion,
and madness.
Chewing those emotions and swallowing them down,
Cao Cao hurled herself forward.
And then.
—CRASH!
The door shattered in a single blow.
At the same instant, Cao Cao drove her sword straight into the human shape before her eyes.
A single thrust, so resolute it betrayed not even a flicker of hesitation.
Like a predator sinking its fangs into the nape of its quarry, her attack bit deep into the person's body.
Except.
"... Huh?"
She perceived the reality a beat too late.
The searing heat of Cao Cao's emotions cooled with the shock of ice water thrown over her.
In this moment, the person impaled upon her sword, blood flowing—
wearing familiar armor,
bearing a face she knew well—
"Gonglu...?"
Staring at the man's face, encountered here where she had never expected it,
awareness of what she had just done crashed down upon her,
and all strength seemed to drain from Cao Cao's body.
"N... no... this... this is..."
Gripping the sword from which blood still dripped, Cao Cao stood utterly at a loss.
Then.
"!"
Gently, he stroked Cao Cao's head.
The man—
Yuan Shu—wore a smile on his bloodless face as he spoke.
"It is all... right. Aman... Sister."
"Go... Gonglu... I... I..."
She let the sword clatter to the floor,
her voice trembling as she struggled toward some excuse.
Leaning close to her ear,
the man said in a measured voice—
a tone like a father soothing his daughter who shook with fear:
"You were frightened, were you not?... Frightened of being abandoned by people. Of the knowledge that, in this world... you might be cast aside."
"!..."
"I know... that you are not such a strong person. Not sturdy enough... to conquer that kind of fear."
The true feelings she had hidden in her heart.
His words, seeing straight through them,
pierced to Cao Cao's very core like a flying dagger.
And then.
"But... but even so. Please... do not abandon yourself. To the last, do not stop being... a person. That kind of face... does not suit you, Sister..."
—Thud.
"! Go... Gonglu!"
He could not finish. Yuan Shu collapsed to the floor just as he was.
Seeing it, Cao Cao frantically pulled his body into her arms.
A part of her heart felt like it was tearing away as pain surged through her...
and she regretted the rash act she had committed with all her soul.
*
Cao Cao.
Another protagonist of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, considered by some its true protagonist. She undeniably possessed the ability to seize the realm.
Outstanding intellect, a charisma that drew people to her, and moreover the deft political instinct to bow her head whenever the situation demanded.
Yet alongside these abilities of Cao Cao's
there is a decisive flaw—and an episode that ultimately leaves the figure of Cao Cao appraised as a ruthless hero, a villain.
In the original history, Luoyang and the Imperial Family had been seized by Dong Zhuo.
In this situation, Yuan Shao fled Luoyang and summoned lords from every region to prepare for war,
while the court ministers merely watched Dong Zhuo's moods, dithering helplessly.
And amid that situation,
Cao Cao pursued another kind of solution to break the deadlock.
Was there any need to go the long way around? Assassinate Dong Zhuo, and that would settle the matter.
True, the mightiest warrior under heaven, Lü Bu, guarded her side—but Lü Bu was not always at her side.
Dong Zhuo also took precautions, such as wearing armor everywhere, but she was still human, and there were bound to be gaps.
Worm through those gaps, assassinate Dong Zhuo, and the situation could be overturned in an instant.
And so Cao Cao spent a long period abasing herself before Dong Zhuo, striving to win her favor.
Dong Zhuo, who had received nothing but hostile looks from most of the court ministers, warmed to her conduct.
At last, Cao Cao succeeded in earning enough trust that Dong Zhuo fell asleep defenseless before her.
With the aid of Minister Wang, she even obtained the Seven Star Precious Sword, capable of piercing Dong Zhuo's armor in a single blow,
and at last resolved to carry out the deed.
However.
As though heaven itself refused to aid her,
the Seven Star Precious Sword she raised to stab the reclining Dong Zhuo caught the light of a mirror, and the assassination attempt ended in hollow failure.
She managed to slip away by fumbling through a bluff, but soon Cao Cao became a fugitive, hunted by Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu, who had seen through the attempt.
Wanted posters were scattered in all directions in an instant, and people hounded after Cao Cao.
Having barely survived several brushes with death, she fled to the home of Lü Boshe—her father's sworn brother (in Records of the Three Kingdoms, a friend)—who lived in Zhongmu County.
After days of flight, Cao Cao had at last reached a place where she could feel safe.
But.
Having fallen asleep, Cao Cao started awake at the sound of a blade being sharpened at her ear.
Overhearing an unsettling exchange, she concluded that Lü Boshe had betrayed her, and drew her sword without hesitation.
Cao Cao massacred Lü Boshe's entire family in a sudden assault.
Yet immediately afterward,
she realized that what they had intended to slaughter was a pig meant to host her.
And as she fled, to eliminate any future trouble she killed even Lü Boshe himself, who had been returning with wine knowing nothing of what had happened.
Afterward, she left these words:
—Though I may forsake the world, I will not let the world forsake me.
Cao Cao, who had abased herself for the sake of assassinating Dong Zhuo, at last drew her sword,
yet failed, and in the course of her flight slaughtered the innocent.
This dual nature of Cao Cao shows that though she may appear a rational and righteous person, in truth she is deeply emotional and cruel.
The Xu Province Massacre that would occur later, and the Deadly True-or-False Quiz, could also be said to display this side of her.
And, knowing the course of this person called Cao Cao...
and at the same time, as someone who knew the woman Cao Cao in this world,
I could feel that this twisted facet of her
did not stem merely from a cruel disposition.
She, who would be called an able minister in times of peace and a ruthless hero in times of chaos—
inside her, there was simply
a woman who carried a little more fear than most.
Being abandoned by other people.
Losing those precious to her.
Seeing everything she had built begin to crumble...
She feared those things more keenly than others.
And precisely because of that...
she could reveal a face like a beast and draw her sword without hesitation.
To protect herself,
to protect what she had achieved,
and to avenge those she had been unable to protect.
And now,
having finished treating my wound, she lay before me.
That same Cao Cao was shedding tears.
"Hic... hic... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Gonglu... I... I went and..."
"It is all right... this much is..."
Cao Cao's remorse was genuine.
A blade swung in the grip of terror—
the knowledge that her sword had shed the blood of someone precious to her was carving a deep pain into her heart.
She must have been severely shaken, but seeing it, I allowed myself a quiet sigh of relief.
'I didn't exactly plan it, but... maybe it served as medicine of a sort?'
Thanks to wearing armor... no, to be precise, even while wearing armor my luck was so abysmal that I suffered a wound, but the injury itself was quite shallow.
There had been bleeding, but it was genuinely a light contusion-level wound.
Of course, regardless of depth, given that it was a stab into living flesh, it hurt like hell—enough to make my mind go white for a moment. Still, looking at it this way, the outcome seemed decent enough.
Because through this incident, I could hope that Cao Cao's cruelty might be blunted somewhat.
And, above all...
Lü Boshe and his family were even now gathered around checking my condition.
These kind people, who had meant only to extend their hospitality—because I had been here, I had prevented the future in which they were massacred over a misunderstanding.
*
Once the situation was somewhat settled and calm restored,
Cao Cao related to Yuan Shu everything that had happened up to now.
"So... in the end, you failed to assassinate Ding Yuan."
"Yes. Of all the luck, the moonlight caught my sword at that moment."
The attempt had carried enormous risk, and Cao Cao had carried it out with the utmost secrecy.
She had given only the barest hints, not only to Dong Zhuo and Yuan Shao but even to Yuan Shu.
Proceeding alone and in secret, Cao Cao had worked to win Ding Yuan's trust, and at last she had seized the opportunity.
The timing was when Dong Zhuo and Yuan Shu had left Luoyang, and Ding Yuan's wariness was at its lowest.
However.
Despite such thorough preparation,
her attempt ended in failure.
Because as she raised the Seven Star Precious Sword to stab the reclining Ding Yuan, moonlight struck the blade and roused him from sleep.
She had barely managed to escape the place by bluffing through it,
but afterward Cao Cao had become a fugitive, hunted by Ding Yuan, who had seen through the assassination attempt.
"I very nearly came to real harm. I was even thrown into prison, in fact. If not for this person, I would never have made it this far."
"! This person is... coul— ...ahem... And who might this be?"
For a moment, for some reason, Yuan Shu's eyes sparkled as he asked.
Sensing something odd in his reaction,
Cao Cao nevertheless proceeded to introduce the spectacled woman beside her—
the woman whose eyes, for some reason, were sparkling no less than Yuan Shu's.
"The person who served as the County Magistrate of this place, Zhongmu County. Her name is..."
"I am honored to meet you for the first time, General Yuan Shu. I am Chen Gong."