Something for the Children
Something for the Children
Life rarely goes according to plan.
That truth... she, the woman who bore the name Sun Jian, was feeling it cut to the bone.
"H-How can this..."
"Forgive... me, Mother... If I had just... done a little better, this wouldn't have..."
"Kh..."
The Yellow Turbans had been dealt with more easily than expected, thanks to the force Yuan Shu had lent her.
Yet the outcome was far worse than Sun Jian had imagined.
She had taken the head of her enemy Zhao Hong with her own hands. Rescuing her eldest son, Sun Ce — that much had gone well.
But her other children...
Sun Quan and Sun Shangxiang remained missing.
And not without a deeply disturbing detail.
According to a prisoner's testimony, someone had deliberately created an opening for Sun Ce's party to escape, then slipped away under the pretext of pursuing the other two children.
A man named Byeon Toe, said to possess a truly vile disposition.
A loathsome creature who felt desire only for little girls under the age of seven.
Though his leader Zhao Hong had been unaware of it, Byeon Toe had apparently been snatching children in secret all this time, satisfying his repulsive urges while hiding it from the chieftain.
Sun Quan and Sun Shangxiang, pursued by such a man.
As a mother, she could not bear even to imagine what might have befallen them.
"I cannot... I cannot simply wait. I will go myself and... ngh..."
"M-Mother!"
Sun Jian lost her balance and collapsed mid-rise.
Desperate though her heart might be, she had raced here without proper rest or sleep for days on end.
She had neglected even her meals, and on top of that, she had thrown everything into the battle. Her body had long since reached its limit.
In the instant before she struck the floor—
-thud!
A hand caught her.
Sun Jian looked up at the face of the person who had safely caught her, and for a moment her expression went blank.
"Are you all right?"
"Ah... Y-Yes. I am... all right. General."
Yuan Shu asked with a calm expression, and Sun Jian's voice quavered as she answered.
She quickly steadied herself and straightened up. And to her, the man—General Yuan Shu—spoke with a grave look.
"Take care. No matter how urgent the situation, charging ahead on emotion alone will not resolve it."
"... My apologies. But I must still..."
Even so, Sun Jian forced strength into her limbs and tried to rise again.
Yuan Shu stopped her.
"General?"
"I ask this as a favor. If you push yourself in that state, something truly terrible could happen. What good would it do to find your children, only for something to happen to you? Then your children would be the ones shedding tears of blood, not you."
"... Kh."
She could not argue the point and closed her mouth.
Gazing at Sun Jian, who finally sat back down, Yuan Shu spoke in a solemn voice.
"Rest for now. I give you my word: I will find your children, no matter what."
"Thank... you."
The man's words carried firm resolve.
Now, in a moment when her body and spirit were utterly spent, his words gave her something she could truly depend on. Sun Jian bowed deeply, expressing her gratitude.
"And... Sun Ce, was it?"
"Yes, General."
"You must still be feeling the strain, but look after your mother. At a time like this, having a son by her side is what gives her even a little strength."
"Yes! I, Sun Ce, will do my very best."
Sun Ce's reply was packed with fierce determination.
Yuan Shu gave his shoulder a light pat, then headed outside.
He strode from the room, his black war surcoat swirling behind him.
Until his receding figure vanished from sight,
Sun Jian and Sun Ce could not tear their eyes from him.
*
"What's the situation?"
"Haa... Still nothing. We've turned the place over like we're picking fleas, but we haven't found the children, let alone that Byeon Toe or whatever his name is. It looks like he's already slipped away from here."
"Hoo..."
"Ha..."
It had been about two days since Sun Ce was rescued.
Listening to Ji Ling's report — still no news at all —
Yuan Shu and Sun Jian could only furrow their brows.
In that time, they had mobilized a hundred-thousand-strong army and scoured the entire area as if they meant to turn the soil over.
They had even stationed soldiers at the bandits' dwellings in case the man doubled back, but not even that had yielded any sign.
It was an unfavorable turn. But as Ji Ling said, if they had searched this thoroughly and still found no sign of him, the man had most likely caught wind and fled. Sun Jian agreed that was the likeliest explanation.
"My lord, wouldn't it be best to head back for now? We came in such a hurry that our grain supplies are a bit tight unless we requisition more. And more than anything, if the man has already left this place, it would probably be more productive to search the nearby villages instead."
"True... At this point, that does seem more efficient."
"... We have no choice. For now... we must return."
There was no sense in continuing to cast a net where there were no fish.
They decided to return to the government office first, reorganize, and resume the search focused on the surrounding villages.
"I am sorry. It seems this will take more time than I expected."
"Not at all. I am grateful simply that you continue to help."
Though disappointment lingered, Sun Jian expressed her thanks with sincerity.
Over the past two days, Yuan Shu had commanded the soldiers and led the search in place of Sun Jian, who had lain unconscious from exhaustion.
The sight of him involving himself as if it were his own matter — even knowing it came of their agreement — stirred a genuine sense of gratitude within her.
His intent was surely driven by his desire to take her to bed, but even that was a form of goodwill.
So it was that Sun Jian—still burdened by worry for her missing children, yet affected by the feelings this man had stirred—mounted her horse with her son Sun Ce.
"We return to the office. The entire force moves out."
The soldiers began to march at Yuan Shu's order.
Seeing a hundred thousand troops moving in formation behind them
would have made her heart race, had it not been for the matter of her daughters.
It was a sight that brought home to her once more the power of the man called Yuan Shu.
The journey itself was short enough to be made in half a day, yet it somehow felt long. As she traveled,
facing the early-winter wind, Sun Jian found herself turning over a deepening sense of anguish in her heart.
Though it was a somewhat embarrassing nickname, Sun Jian had always prided herself on her ability and strength — enough to call herself the Tiger of Jiangdong.
Yet this ordeal had forced her to realize with terrifying clarity:
the ability she possessed had its limits...
and there existed in this world figures whose power she could not even approach.
She had not managed to protect a single thing with her own strength.
Her husband had been slain.
She did not even know whether her two daughters were alive or dead.
Even the one son she had left, the one she held in her arms — she would not have saved him on her own.
If the same thing happened again... she would not be able to protect even this boy, who had become her everything.
She was afraid.
Afraid of her own powerlessness in this harsh, chaotic age.
Afraid of the ruthless reality that everyone precious to her could vanish.
And then.
"M-Mother?"
"..."
These emotions, as she pulled her sole remaining son into a tight embrace, drove Sun Jian to a certain resolution in her heart.
'This body is already promised to him... If that is so, then rather...'
Guilt surged in with the thought.
But she carefully cut it away with the cold knife of reality.
And so Sun Jian steeled her heart for what was to come.
At that moment.
"General!"
"Hm?"
"... Well, look at that. Shows up now that everything's finished."
Just as she was beginning to regain her composure, a company of soldiers came running toward them.
At their head was a woman whose hair was tied back much like her own —
yet her blonde locks and the state she was in made her look twice as wretched as anyone here, exhausted from the search.
She was rushing over with soldiers who looked just as pitiful as she did.
"Xu Rong, where in the world have you been to show up only now?"
"Umm... My... my apologies, General. I have only just returned."
"And what's with that state? Where exactly did you go to get back only now? Did the Yellow Turbans really flee that far?"
"Er... that is... I lost my way en route, and took a rather roundabout way back..."
The wretched-looking woman commander then launched into her tale.
As near as I could tell, they had managed to follow a river out of the mountains—which was good—but they emerged on the exact opposite side from here. Apparently, you could even see the sea in the distance...
Anyway,
they ultimately did not dare go back into the mountains and risk getting lost again, so they had questioned the locals in nearby villages and detoured all the way around the mountain range. Hence the delay.
The story had a slightly epic quality to it.
After hearing her out, Yuan Shu spoke with an incredulous look.
"So that's why... we turned the entire mountain inside out and still had no word."
"I am deeply ashamed. I will gladly accept any punishment for having caused you needless worry."
Xu Rong bowed her head in apology.
Yuan Shu let out a small sigh, then offered a tired smile.
"Hoo... Well, what matters is that you've returned without incident. Was there anything else of note?"
"Yes, the troops are somewhat worn, but all have returned safely. That said... there is one small matter, if it can even be called that..."
"A small matter?"
"Yes. While we were lost in the mountains and making camp, we rescued some children. When we asked, they said their mother was something like a leopard or a tiger..."
Just then.
"Huh? Mother! Mother!!"
"Wah! Mama!"
"What?"
"... Huh?"
A familiar yet childish voice suddenly rang out from behind the blonde woman commander.
It lanced into Sun Jian's ears as sharply as an incoming arrow.
"Ah... Aaah..."
Drawn by the sound, Sun Jian dismounted and began to sprint forward.
In that moment, nothing else reached her — not sight, nor sound.
From among the countless soldiers and warhorses, a tiny figure darted out and ran toward her.
A girl with hair as green as spring, tears streaming down her face as she toddled forward.
Sun Jian rushed at her in a daze and swept the child up with all her strength.
"Quan!... Xiang! My daughters!... My babies!"
"Waaaah!... Mother! I... I missed you... so much...!"
"Mama! Mama!"
Heedless of the eyes surrounding them, mother and daughters sank to the ground and wept.
Watching the scene,
Yuan Shu and the others let their initial surprise subside, and warm smiles began to spread across their faces.
*
The day after the tearful reunion with her children,
Sun Jian changed into the clothes she had carefully prepared, her hands moving with deliberate care.
Until just moments ago, the room had been lively with the children's presence. Now, only silence hung in the air.
She knew this was a necessary act, and at the same time a vitally important one, but she could not bear to let the children know...
Having steadied her emotions,
Sun Jian began to apply her makeup with caution, gazing into the mirror before her.
'I thought... I would never have cause to do this again.'
Her touch as she applied powder and traced her lips —
it was so very familiar.
And yet, that familiarity only made it feel more painful now.
Still, the moment she finished the makeup, into which she had poured the greatest effort she could muster,
Sun Jian slowly rose to her feet and straightened her attire one last time.
The look that best revealed her beauty as a woman.
As she gazed at it,
a thread of deep anguish bloomed in Sun Jian's heart.
'I should have... done this more often. For my husband... I should have shown him this face at least once more...'
Longing for the one who had departed, guilt, and regret.
After suppressing those emotions, which pierced her heart anew,
Sun Jian left the room.
"Are you finished, my lady?"
"Yes. You may lead on."
"Understood. I shall escort you to where General Yuan Shu is waiting."
Sun Jian set off, guided by the attendant.
The place she arrived at shortly after was a room situated deep within the spacious government complex.
Before the door, she drew a deep breath. Then Sun Jian opened it and stepped inside.
'It's all right... This is all for the children...'