What She Wants to Say
What She Wants to Say
As she asked what I intended to do next,
Yuan Shao's voice grew serious as she continued.
"With this, the Yellow Turban Rebellion has been suppressed. The work here will be over soon. You've earned this much credit—the Ten Regular Attendants can no longer touch you."
"Ah..."
Hearing this, two paths began to form in my mind.
One: receive a cushy post in Luoyang and take it easy.
And the other: begin the real work of securing a stable, safe honey-sucking future, far from anyone's threats...
Namely, a full-scale talent-recruitment operation.
I could request a transfer to another region where figures from the original timeline were located,
or, since I was already General Who Conquers the North, use this chance to mop up the remnants and head to the place I had always longed for...
Heading for Yang Province, where my absolute favorites, the sworn brothers of the Peach Garden Oath, were likely to be, wasn't a bad option either.
Unlike the past, I now commanded a large army, so there was no need to fear attacks from bandits or the like.
And even if the world tried to screw me over, if I parked myself right at their front gate, things would work out one way or another.
Furthermore, considering my current standing, actually bringing Liu Bei's group under my command or at least forming a positive relationship with them would hardly be a difficult task.
Having decided to think this part over more carefully, I gave Yuan Shao my thoughts in answer to her question.
"I understand what you mean, but it's a difficult issue to answer right this moment. I'll give you a reply soon, Sister."
"Is that so? ... Alright. Then... I'll be waiting."
Yuan Shao nodded calmly at my reply.
Sensing a faint question at the strange expectation that seemed to fill her expression,
I thought it would be good to use this rare time alone with her in a more meaningful way.
"Now that you mention it, it's been a long time since the two of us were alone like this, Sister."
"The first time since the Six-Year Mourning... So much has happened since then..."
"In that case, how about a drink for old times' sake? I happen to have some liquor Ji Ling brewed in secret. She got caught, but it's quite decent."
"Yes... I'd like that."
My sister readily accepted the offer.
The aftereffects of the Six-Year Mourning still hadn't completely faded, and the war had just ended, leaving her face slightly drawn,
yet seeing her still-elegant features, I carefully poured the liquor from the bottle.
'Come to think of it... Sister's about the right age for marriage. I wonder who she'll end up with?'
In the original timeline, Yuan Shao had married a vicious woman who beat five concubines to death out of jealousy, and the decisive factor in his ruin had been the disastrous mess he made of his succession. I couldn't help but be concerned in many ways.
Even if this bond was formed through transmigration, Yuan Shao was undeniably 'family,' a blood relative I had spent years with.
As her younger brother, my humble wish was that, unlike the original timeline, she would meet a good person and live happily.
Still, no sign of marriage, or anything remotely like it, had appeared.
Thinking again that it was too early to ask anything outright,
I began to enjoy my drink with my sister in good spirits.
To today's victory,
and to a happy future for the two of us, brother and sister.
*
—"Glug..."
After the drinking that continued through the night, Yuan Shu eventually passed out.
Yuan Shao gazed at him in silence.
A scene much like what she had witnessed during the Six-Year Mourning period long ago.
Recalling the memories that had allowed her to endure that time filled with pain and forbearance...
memories that had brought her one of the few real joys she had known, a quiet smile began to spread across Yuan Shao's lips.
Her younger brother, who seemed to have grown so much even though barely a year had passed since they'd been apart.
In truth, the battles against the Yellow Turbans over the past year had been the opportunity that made the name of Yuan Shu resound far and wide.
It had reached her ears clearly, even while she sat in Luoyang, so there was little need to mention other places.
The fact that she had been able to gather more talented people than she'd first expected right after she entered office was, in no small part, because she was the sister that Yuan Shu respected.
She had looked into it, and it seemed many who had tried to pull strings with Yuan Shu failed repeatedly and ended up coming to her instead.
In a way, being "a pheasant instead of a chicken" could be an unpleasant thing, but for Yuan Shao, it was a welcome development.
After all... what was hers would eventually be her younger brother's.
If, as she had originally intended, she could build up the strength to help her brother, however meagerly, then it was hardly a bad thing.
In any case,
with Yuan Shu already making his name widely known,
once the news that he had crushed the Yellow Turban main force and slain their leaders spread, her brother's fame would surely reach nearly everyone under heaven.
As his sister, this was certainly something to celebrate.
But on the other hand, it was also true that this swelling renown of her brother's, which she could not control, was a burden to Yuan Shao.
Becoming well-known meant drawing the attention of that many more people.
When, even now, a big-chested fox of a woman who greatly bothered her had already latched onto him, she couldn't help but worry about just how many more bitches would cling to her brother's side in the future.
'No... now that I think of it, there was one more. From quite a long time ago...'
She was concerned about women like Ji Ling and Xu Rong who had supposedly become his subordinate recently, but there was another person who weighed on her mind even more.
A longtime friend of Yuan Shao's, and someone who held no less familiarity and interest in Yuan Shu than she did.
Cao Cao.
It wasn't just her coming to Ji Province this time; having been close neighbors and friends for the past several years, Yuan Shao was well aware that Cao Cao had feelings for her brother.
However, alongside this fact, one question had recently been settling in Yuan Shao's mind.
'But... why on earth did Mengde do something like this for us this time? No matter how much she says she's repaying a debt, to even hand over Zhang Bao's head...'
She had voluntarily yielded an opportunity to curry even a little favor with Yuan Shu.
She had made an excuse about repaying a kindness, but the situation somehow felt like there was another reason.
Unable to discern what that reason was,
Yuan Shao set her thoughts aside and once more focused her eyes on the face of her sleeping brother.
Her younger brother, sleeping so peacefully now.
In her eyes lay one profound emotion, one she had held since the very first time she had seen this man.
An emotion she could never reveal until she achieved her goal...
a precious and secret feeling, hers alone...
'In this moment at least... I envy you. Because you can say what you want to say, without such an elaborate scheme...'
*
The dawn after annihilating the Yellow Turbans.
While the fatigue still hadn't fully lifted, to cure my hangover and quench my thirst, I gulped down the honey water in front of me.
Early on after becoming Yuan Shu, a creeping unease made me try to avoid honey water whenever I could, but the way it stuck to my mouth, the nature imprinted on this body, was irresistible in more ways than one.
Especially on a day like today, with a mountain of tasks piled up, one naturally needs to settle the stomach with something refreshing.
Since I was slated to be insanely busy with post-battle processing and the victory banquet later, I needed to recharge my Yuan-ergy.
Right, just as I had emptied a bowl in satisfaction and was about to begin my work preparations—at that moment...
"General Yuan! Are you present? Pardon the intrusion!"
"Hm? What is it? Come in."
As soon as my questioning permission was given, Hua Xiong, Li Jue, and Guo Si entered.
It was rare for all three to come at once, so a question was forming as I asked them.
"What's this? At the crack of dawn."
"Governor Dong is looking for you! You must go at once!"
"Hoo-ee... it seems like something urgent is going on..."
"Atmosphere: grave. Caution: required."
"..."
The three women warriors delivered a somewhat ominous warning.
It wasn't like I had done anything wrong... no, on the contrary, from the perspective of having given them the best opportunity to earn merit, only good deeds came to mind, so their words stirred a needless sense of unease.
But being uneasy was one thing, and refusing to go when your superior calls was another—nothing to be done.
On top of that, through my track record so far, I had earned a fair measure of what you could call Dong Zhuo's trust.
The chances were high she had something important to discuss, but even so, there was unlikely to be anything truly dangerous.
So it was with a strange wariness that I arrived at the main tent.
There sat Dong Zhuo alone, watching me.
"I hope you slept well, Zhongying."
"Your complexion doesn't look very good. Did something happen yesterday?"
"Yes, I drank a bit with my sister for the first time in a while."
"Your sister... you mean Yuan Shao?"
"That's right."
"... Is that so? With her..."
Dong Zhuo's expression showed something subtly strange.
I thought it was a bit of an odd reaction to me having a drink with family, of all people, but without dwelling on the details, I asked her.
"But what is this about? Whatever you have to say, surely you could have done it at the morning council..."
"No."
"... Pardon?"
"If not now... I can't say it."
Dong Zhuo answered firmly.
She was certainly a woman who carried a meaningful air around her, but this was altogether different from her usual self.
"What on earth... is it? What is it you wish to say?"
It felt as if she had made some weighty resolution.
As tension seized me for an instant, Dong Zhuo spoke to me in a quiet voice.
"Come... closer."
With those words, Dong Zhuo picked up a sizable box placed beside her and held it out to me.
I opened the box carefully.
What lay inside it was...
"Isn't this Zhang Jiao's head? Why are you..."
Everyone already knew that the bastard had been killed.
So the question arose—why was she showing me this head? That was when it happened.
"Take it."
"... Pardon?"
"I said I'm giving it to you. From now on, it is yours. You, General Yuan... are the one who beheaded Zhang Jiao. I will report it so to the court."
"!?"
At her words, I could not help but be considerably shocked.
Dong Zhuo had handed over Zhang Liang's head before, but I had thought that was purely for verification.
And indeed, the report to the court had stated that Dong Zhuo had beheaded Zhang Liang.
But the way Dong Zhuo was acting now was clearly, by anyone's standard, her handing over the greatest merit to me.
That Dong Zhuo, of all people—one of those Wang Mang, Dong Zhuo, Cao Cao, and Sima Yi and the very incarnation of lust for power—would show this side of herself was enough of a shock to me.
"Wh-... why are you doing this? Although my plan was helpful, this is unmistakably your achievement, Zhongying. So why give it to me..."
I asked in a stammering voice.
And to this.
With her face flushed red, Dong Zhuo looked straight at me and answered.
"Because I like you."